Dear Kids,
Tonight was wonderful together. Your dad is on a trip to Yosemite National Park this week, so time for single mom interactions together. We went outside together, after watching "Wizard of Oz", and you all played "predator and prey" on the tramp together.
The game goes like this: One of you is the predator, the others are the prey. And then there are a bunch of other jumbled up rules that adults don't understand in order for the game to actually work. But you all understood what the rules were. That never ceases to crack me up when that happens. Kid play.
I sat there in the lawn chair and watched you, per request. You just wanted my PRESENCE. I left my phone inside so I wouldn't be distracted by it, even though I really wanted to take video of the interactions. It was so nice to just sit and observe. Fascinating actually. The way you play, interact, flow, the pace of thought, everything.
Time has really been starting to hit me. I don't have that much longer with you. Even though you are are still very young, as Gabe has been getting closer to his 'tween' years, it has really been hitting me. My time with you is so fleeting. So precious. I can't let it go. I can't give it to anyone else. It's mine together with you. I got a blessing a couple weeks ago and it reminded me that NO ONE can replace me in my children's lives.
The everyday minutia of hard moments wears me down. I won't lie about that. Choosing to be a full time mom is excruciatingly hard work. Anyone who says differently is fooling themselves. But it's the beautiful moments together that can't be replaced that I just soak in. Even if they only come every once and a while. It is all worth it.
I will truly be able to look at my Heavenly Father and tell Him that I did my best with you. I gave my heart to this mom business. I have been all in. But that's not the only reason I do this. I do it because I LOVE YOU. I love you so much. No one can replace us together as a family. NO ONE.
Thank you for giving me the gift of just watching you play. watching you on the tramp. Watching you ride your bikes and seeing the stars come out. Watching you chase bats and giving them names like 'bubbles'. Watching you marvel at the moon. Seeing you all together.
I love you all so much. I love your individuality. I love that you are full of light.
Love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
I Need To Say A Prayer Mom
Dear Kids,
About two days ago, we had one of those "moments" during dinner.
It was Gabe's night to set the table. He likes things, shall we say, JUST SO. He loves to set the table really nice, really fancy with goblets and perfectly folded napkins.
Well, I was trying to micromanage him too much and tell him what to do. He got upset with me about it. He was trying to tell the kids to stay away from the table until everything was ready and perfect. They got upset with him about it. Talia was trying to "help" Joshua (but in reality just laying on him and mauling him). He got upset with her about it. Elijah was antagonizing Gabe going back and forth from the table... You get the picture. Everyone was getting upset with everyone else about everything!
I had a bit of a blow up at one point and got really upset and told everyone to be quiet. After the initial "pause-because-mom-got-really-mad" moment, Gabe looked at me and said, "I need to go say a prayer mom."
He promptly left the room.
Came back a few minutes later a completely changed little boy. My heart was changed while he was gone because I realized how much I needed God's help to calm down. And the other kids automatically calmed down once my heart was right. Words of a blessing Brent gave me just this last Sunday came back... "there will be peace in your home, as long as their is peace in your heart."
Sometimes I get a little butt-hurt about the fact that mom ALWAYS has to keep her peace and cool in order for everything else to run smoothly. I mean, can't we catch a break and just have a bad day without it affecting everyone else?? But then I get over myself and realized that I am not a victim in this role of motherhood, I CHOOSE to be here. So... peace in my heart is what it shall be. Deep breath and center myself, and keep going.
Back to the story, Gabe came back. He finished setting the table and we ended up having a really nice meal together (Brent missed all the drama and came in when everything was happy-go-lucky again... of course. He always misses the good stuff).
So kids... remember Gabe's example of "I need to say a prayer", because I know that God will send angels to soften your hearts, to help you in that moment, to show you the better way, and to calm you down and give you peace in your heart, that you can then give to others.
I love you,
Your Mom
Dirty, Filthy Feet
Dear Kids,
There are times in my life when I experience things JUST so it reminds me not to judge other people.
Today is our "Whole-lotta-classes" day. Because of homeschooling, I have Wednesday reserved for most of our classes away from home. It involves martial arts, piano, robotics, dance, etc. Because of this we pack our lunch before, eat at a park, I plan my errands for during classes, etc.
About 10 minutes before our first class ended, Elijah needed to be separated for various behavior issues. I took him to the van (don't freak out here parenting nazi's... it was right outside the front door where I could totally see him) and let him have some time to just calm down.
Meanwhile, all other children finished the class, gathered their stuff, and headed out to the van. We all got in, I got to mend things with #3, everyone asked for music to be turned on, and we headed on our way playing "Pirates of the Caribbean: Black Pearl" as loud as it could go.
Got to the park, everyone headed out and had a great lunch. Ran amuck. Climbed trees. Pretended to be Lilo and Stitch. Good times. We then got back in the van, headed to piano, dropped off the oldest two, then me and the youngest two headed to the store for an errand.
Well, when we got to the store Elijah informed me that, "We left my shoes at karate." I thought back, remembered what had happened and realized he was right. I chuckled a bit to myself, put him in the back of the cart, baby in the front of the cart and headed on our way to do all our errands.
This was only 1/3 of the way into the busy day we had. We headed to more lessons, got more things done, ran more errands, etc.
So by the time I was walking into Walmart for the "end of the day" errand I had planned, I looked at Elijah's feet and they were, kid you not, pitch black. I had already wiped them off so many times with the wipes I had. His hair was crazy. His clothing completely crazy and disheveled. He looked like a homeless kid. Seriously. With no shoes.
It was one of those moments when I was all of a sudden zoomed outside of my reality and I was able to look at myself and my child from someone else's viewpoint. And whenever that happens, it is ALWAYS to teach me to never judge outward appearances. I personally know quite a few people who would have seen him, and his crazy state, and just been appalled that I was letting my child walk around with bare feet in the store. (P.S. for the record, I did try to keep him in the cart, but he is wild-energy-child after all, and that didn't work)
So, on we went, around the store, while he played "hide and seek" with me in the clothing.
This whole experience was to remind me, then when I see a child completely dirty, filthy feet, messy hair, the WORKS, to remember one thing...
Their mom forgot their shoes at karate that morning and hasn't been home since.
I love you kids, dirty feet and all,
Your Mom
There are times in my life when I experience things JUST so it reminds me not to judge other people.
Today is our "Whole-lotta-classes" day. Because of homeschooling, I have Wednesday reserved for most of our classes away from home. It involves martial arts, piano, robotics, dance, etc. Because of this we pack our lunch before, eat at a park, I plan my errands for during classes, etc.
About 10 minutes before our first class ended, Elijah needed to be separated for various behavior issues. I took him to the van (don't freak out here parenting nazi's... it was right outside the front door where I could totally see him) and let him have some time to just calm down.
Meanwhile, all other children finished the class, gathered their stuff, and headed out to the van. We all got in, I got to mend things with #3, everyone asked for music to be turned on, and we headed on our way playing "Pirates of the Caribbean: Black Pearl" as loud as it could go.
Got to the park, everyone headed out and had a great lunch. Ran amuck. Climbed trees. Pretended to be Lilo and Stitch. Good times. We then got back in the van, headed to piano, dropped off the oldest two, then me and the youngest two headed to the store for an errand.
Well, when we got to the store Elijah informed me that, "We left my shoes at karate." I thought back, remembered what had happened and realized he was right. I chuckled a bit to myself, put him in the back of the cart, baby in the front of the cart and headed on our way to do all our errands.
This was only 1/3 of the way into the busy day we had. We headed to more lessons, got more things done, ran more errands, etc.
So by the time I was walking into Walmart for the "end of the day" errand I had planned, I looked at Elijah's feet and they were, kid you not, pitch black. I had already wiped them off so many times with the wipes I had. His hair was crazy. His clothing completely crazy and disheveled. He looked like a homeless kid. Seriously. With no shoes.
It was one of those moments when I was all of a sudden zoomed outside of my reality and I was able to look at myself and my child from someone else's viewpoint. And whenever that happens, it is ALWAYS to teach me to never judge outward appearances. I personally know quite a few people who would have seen him, and his crazy state, and just been appalled that I was letting my child walk around with bare feet in the store. (P.S. for the record, I did try to keep him in the cart, but he is wild-energy-child after all, and that didn't work)
So, on we went, around the store, while he played "hide and seek" with me in the clothing.
This whole experience was to remind me, then when I see a child completely dirty, filthy feet, messy hair, the WORKS, to remember one thing...
Their mom forgot their shoes at karate that morning and hasn't been home since.
I love you kids, dirty feet and all,
Your Mom
Saturday, February 17, 2018
Six Weeks At A Time
Dear Kids,
When this year (2018) started, your dad and I chose our theme of "Habits" for our focus this year. Instead of doing New Years Resolutions or goals, we choose a theme every year to base our focus around. It has been SUPER successful for us to actually follow through on our lifestyle improvement.
Well, I knew that we had to work on habits for this year, because we have been slowly letting the little things go... and I was REALLY feeling it. I felt like my soul was starting to die and that we weren't connected at all and I was losing my personal drive and focus.
We just finished our first six week habit period, and we have so far loved it! It is proving very successful for us. Something that REALLY helps Brent is to have a reward at the end of the 6 weeks. And it helps us to stay accountable to each other. So when we started we decided that our reward would be to have a getaway together. We went for 1.5 days (2 nights) down to Vegas, relaxed, enjoyed each other, saw a show, ate GREAT food and just hung out.
It was SOOOO rejuvenating! I can't even tell you how much it helped my soul to rejuvenate and help our relationship to reconnect.
But I have to write about our 6 week habit periods. It has been WONDERFUL to work on something together again. We haven't really had a together focus for a while, and it has helped us to reconnect in a way that we haven't felt for a while. The fun part is that we don't have the same habits we are working on... I have 3 different focuses than your dad does, but we are completely supporting each other to fulfill our habits, especially because if we don't follow through then we don't get the reward at the end! We have to give ourselves that reward, or it just isn't the same motivation, especially for your dad.
My first 6 week habit focus was going to bed before 11pm, not eating after 6pm (or dinnertime), and having a REALLY good scripture study atleast 3 days of the week. Now the funny thing is that, these are NOT hard goals. They really aren't... it's not necessarily stretching me to do these habits... but something that both your dad and I have realized is that CONSISTENCY with our daily little habits after having a family has been a HUGE challenge for us. We have had to start with the very basic habits, because the consistency of actually following through on the small things is what has been extremely difficult. Combine that with time, and there is a losing equation. All of a sudden we didn't have very good habits AT ALL, which is what caused us to change.
I am very happy to say that the consistency of those habits for the first 6 week time period has really jumped me to another dimension as far as my mind set is concerned. I feel like I am accomplishing more, I'm feeling more fulfilled, I'm feeling better about myself because of actually following through with those habits... and one of the greatest things is that it is impacting our kids just by us taking care of our inner vessels first. Talia has noticed everything we are working on and she started reading her scriptures every day on her own because she knew that was one of her dad's habits that he was working on. I love that.
Which leads me to the last point on my thoughts about this. Cleansing our inner vessels first is HUGE for any kind of fulfillment in life. It seems like a "duh" phrase.... but the practicality of actually following through on a consistent basis to do those things necessary to keep our inner vessels clean... THAT is what is hard. Inside of the messiness of everyday living and the craziness of life, it is easy to get to the point where you aren't reading or feeding your soul because you are just crashing into bed exhausted every night. It is easy to get to that place of being so pushed and pulled by the demands of conflict management with kids, stress at work. poopy diapers being thrown around, kids school work. church assignments (you get what I'm saying) to all of a sudden realize that after you get into bed you didn't even say any kind of meaningful prayer that actually helped you to connect with God and Christ.
We have to MAKE TIME FOR HOLINESS. It is imperative in our day and age... and we have to teach our kids how to make time for holiness too. Setting this example is the best way that we know how to start.
I love you so much,
Your Mom
When this year (2018) started, your dad and I chose our theme of "Habits" for our focus this year. Instead of doing New Years Resolutions or goals, we choose a theme every year to base our focus around. It has been SUPER successful for us to actually follow through on our lifestyle improvement.
Well, I knew that we had to work on habits for this year, because we have been slowly letting the little things go... and I was REALLY feeling it. I felt like my soul was starting to die and that we weren't connected at all and I was losing my personal drive and focus.
We just finished our first six week habit period, and we have so far loved it! It is proving very successful for us. Something that REALLY helps Brent is to have a reward at the end of the 6 weeks. And it helps us to stay accountable to each other. So when we started we decided that our reward would be to have a getaway together. We went for 1.5 days (2 nights) down to Vegas, relaxed, enjoyed each other, saw a show, ate GREAT food and just hung out.
It was SOOOO rejuvenating! I can't even tell you how much it helped my soul to rejuvenate and help our relationship to reconnect.
But I have to write about our 6 week habit periods. It has been WONDERFUL to work on something together again. We haven't really had a together focus for a while, and it has helped us to reconnect in a way that we haven't felt for a while. The fun part is that we don't have the same habits we are working on... I have 3 different focuses than your dad does, but we are completely supporting each other to fulfill our habits, especially because if we don't follow through then we don't get the reward at the end! We have to give ourselves that reward, or it just isn't the same motivation, especially for your dad.
My first 6 week habit focus was going to bed before 11pm, not eating after 6pm (or dinnertime), and having a REALLY good scripture study atleast 3 days of the week. Now the funny thing is that, these are NOT hard goals. They really aren't... it's not necessarily stretching me to do these habits... but something that both your dad and I have realized is that CONSISTENCY with our daily little habits after having a family has been a HUGE challenge for us. We have had to start with the very basic habits, because the consistency of actually following through on the small things is what has been extremely difficult. Combine that with time, and there is a losing equation. All of a sudden we didn't have very good habits AT ALL, which is what caused us to change.
I am very happy to say that the consistency of those habits for the first 6 week time period has really jumped me to another dimension as far as my mind set is concerned. I feel like I am accomplishing more, I'm feeling more fulfilled, I'm feeling better about myself because of actually following through with those habits... and one of the greatest things is that it is impacting our kids just by us taking care of our inner vessels first. Talia has noticed everything we are working on and she started reading her scriptures every day on her own because she knew that was one of her dad's habits that he was working on. I love that.
Which leads me to the last point on my thoughts about this. Cleansing our inner vessels first is HUGE for any kind of fulfillment in life. It seems like a "duh" phrase.... but the practicality of actually following through on a consistent basis to do those things necessary to keep our inner vessels clean... THAT is what is hard. Inside of the messiness of everyday living and the craziness of life, it is easy to get to the point where you aren't reading or feeding your soul because you are just crashing into bed exhausted every night. It is easy to get to that place of being so pushed and pulled by the demands of conflict management with kids, stress at work. poopy diapers being thrown around, kids school work. church assignments (you get what I'm saying) to all of a sudden realize that after you get into bed you didn't even say any kind of meaningful prayer that actually helped you to connect with God and Christ.
We have to MAKE TIME FOR HOLINESS. It is imperative in our day and age... and we have to teach our kids how to make time for holiness too. Setting this example is the best way that we know how to start.
I love you so much,
Your Mom
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Every Moment Leading To God
Dear Kids,
My days are so fluid right now. So fluid. There is SO MUCH going on... and it's not going to stop. So I have to learn how to embrace the craziness. That is the simple reality of it... embrace the craziness.
The homeschooling adventure is one that stretches you like you have NEVER experienced before. And I believe that pretty much everything that is new and big that anyone tries, this is a true statement... that it will stretch you like you have never known before. I have had these same thoughts and feelings about school, college, roommates, mission, jobs, career, marriage, family, business failures and successes, natural birth, parenting (and how it changes with every child), church callings... EVERYTHING in life is designed to stretch us and make us stronger.
Well, homeschooling is no exception. I think about the experiences that I have on a daily basis and I don't have room to write them all down, or the time! So choosing situations that I feel like have led me to God is tough, because it all has.
The moments today that have led me to God are many... taking my one year old to the chiropractor to make sure he is okay after an injury, working with my 5 year old after ANOTHER tantrum (that I thought we would be past by now), that same child screaming at me (major anger in him, still trying to navigate all of that with his little soul), trying to keep up with feeding the children, daughter have emotional breakdowns for who-knows-why just because she's a ball of emotion and we haven't even hit 8 years old yet(!), failures and successes at karate class, not getting to everything on the calendar and being flexible with that is happening around me, keeping up with the house, catching up with the laundry, teaching children how to cook dinner, picking kids up from play dates, forgetting something at play date, playing a game together as a family tonight with dad before he goes to singing practice... MAN our lives are just busy, simply because there are so many people involved! (Mothers of more than 4 children amaze me, seriously). And all of these moments have led me to God simply when I take a minute to ask Him what I should do about the tantrum, say a little prayer about being at the play date, talking with friends about God at karate practice, trying to say prayers with kids for various feelings they have, reading scriptures together, apologizing to my kids when I get impatient and directing them to look at how Jesus makes up the difference...
Writing helps me to get out of my head and heart what I feel but push away. I push a lot of emotion away right now because I have many other people's emotions I'm trying to navigate, let alone my own. So thanks for listening.
One of these days you are going to have your own kids and you are going to know exactly what I'm talking about in my thoughts.
Until then, I love you
Mom
My days are so fluid right now. So fluid. There is SO MUCH going on... and it's not going to stop. So I have to learn how to embrace the craziness. That is the simple reality of it... embrace the craziness.
The homeschooling adventure is one that stretches you like you have NEVER experienced before. And I believe that pretty much everything that is new and big that anyone tries, this is a true statement... that it will stretch you like you have never known before. I have had these same thoughts and feelings about school, college, roommates, mission, jobs, career, marriage, family, business failures and successes, natural birth, parenting (and how it changes with every child), church callings... EVERYTHING in life is designed to stretch us and make us stronger.
Well, homeschooling is no exception. I think about the experiences that I have on a daily basis and I don't have room to write them all down, or the time! So choosing situations that I feel like have led me to God is tough, because it all has.
The moments today that have led me to God are many... taking my one year old to the chiropractor to make sure he is okay after an injury, working with my 5 year old after ANOTHER tantrum (that I thought we would be past by now), that same child screaming at me (major anger in him, still trying to navigate all of that with his little soul), trying to keep up with feeding the children, daughter have emotional breakdowns for who-knows-why just because she's a ball of emotion and we haven't even hit 8 years old yet(!), failures and successes at karate class, not getting to everything on the calendar and being flexible with that is happening around me, keeping up with the house, catching up with the laundry, teaching children how to cook dinner, picking kids up from play dates, forgetting something at play date, playing a game together as a family tonight with dad before he goes to singing practice... MAN our lives are just busy, simply because there are so many people involved! (Mothers of more than 4 children amaze me, seriously). And all of these moments have led me to God simply when I take a minute to ask Him what I should do about the tantrum, say a little prayer about being at the play date, talking with friends about God at karate practice, trying to say prayers with kids for various feelings they have, reading scriptures together, apologizing to my kids when I get impatient and directing them to look at how Jesus makes up the difference...
Writing helps me to get out of my head and heart what I feel but push away. I push a lot of emotion away right now because I have many other people's emotions I'm trying to navigate, let alone my own. So thanks for listening.
One of these days you are going to have your own kids and you are going to know exactly what I'm talking about in my thoughts.
Until then, I love you
Mom
Sunday, November 5, 2017
First Time Bearing Testimony In Church For Gabriel
Dear Gabriel,
The story for today is about you.
Today was the first Fast Sunday that you joined Dad and I with fasting. You decided to go through breakfast to lunch time, and fasted for Heavenly Father to help you with your thoughts (you have been having really scary thoughts lately at night, mainly about zombies from a commercial you saw on dad's phone while you were playing a game. Needless to say, you haven't played that game again since this time).
In sacrament meeting, a bunch of the primary kids from our ward jumped up to say their testimonies very first. One of your friends got up, and you were like, "Look, that's Miles! He's giving a talk!" Then I told you that you could go up and bear your testimony as well.
You looked at me with surprise and said, "Really?? I can go up there??"
I hadn't realized that you had no idea you could do that. I feel actually bad about it, because you had no idea that fast Sunday was for anyone to get up and share their feelings.
As soon as you realized this, you said, "I'm going up!". You immediately got up, walked with determination up to the pulpit, chest out, with your confident walk, not afraid at all. You said you were grateful for Heavenly Father helping you with everything you need in your life, and then you sat back down. You forgot to say "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen"... but that just added to the feeling of it.
You got up there, said what you needed to say, and then got back down. I loved it. Natalia went up with me to bear her testimony, but she needed help and didn't want to say things on her own, she is much more aware of when people are looking at her and watching her than you are. You don't care at all (and both characteristics have their own strengths and weaknesses with them).
Your dad turned to me and said, "You HAVE to write that in your journal tonight."
I love you. I love being your mom. I love your tender heart. I love that you are so aware of everything around you that has to do with the spirit and thoughts. I love that you are determined and know what you want and you aren't afraid to go after it. I love that about you. I'm so grateful for you.
I love you,
Your Mom
The story for today is about you.
Today was the first Fast Sunday that you joined Dad and I with fasting. You decided to go through breakfast to lunch time, and fasted for Heavenly Father to help you with your thoughts (you have been having really scary thoughts lately at night, mainly about zombies from a commercial you saw on dad's phone while you were playing a game. Needless to say, you haven't played that game again since this time).
In sacrament meeting, a bunch of the primary kids from our ward jumped up to say their testimonies very first. One of your friends got up, and you were like, "Look, that's Miles! He's giving a talk!" Then I told you that you could go up and bear your testimony as well.
You looked at me with surprise and said, "Really?? I can go up there??"
I hadn't realized that you had no idea you could do that. I feel actually bad about it, because you had no idea that fast Sunday was for anyone to get up and share their feelings.
As soon as you realized this, you said, "I'm going up!". You immediately got up, walked with determination up to the pulpit, chest out, with your confident walk, not afraid at all. You said you were grateful for Heavenly Father helping you with everything you need in your life, and then you sat back down. You forgot to say "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen"... but that just added to the feeling of it.
You got up there, said what you needed to say, and then got back down. I loved it. Natalia went up with me to bear her testimony, but she needed help and didn't want to say things on her own, she is much more aware of when people are looking at her and watching her than you are. You don't care at all (and both characteristics have their own strengths and weaknesses with them).
Your dad turned to me and said, "You HAVE to write that in your journal tonight."
I love you. I love being your mom. I love your tender heart. I love that you are so aware of everything around you that has to do with the spirit and thoughts. I love that you are determined and know what you want and you aren't afraid to go after it. I love that about you. I'm so grateful for you.
I love you,
Your Mom
Saturday, November 4, 2017
Reminders
Dear Kids,
I was in a really good habit of writing a few years ago, and what helped me sooooo much was advice I received from your Aunt Keek. When I was talking to her about journaling and how I had struggled for so long with it, she gave me this feedback, "Andrea, I had a teacher in college tell me to just write ONE thing in detail that happened to me in a day. Don't try to recap everything that went on. Don't try to just give a 'travel log' or just the 'happenings'. Remember one thing that affected you that day and write about that one thing in detail. Then you will start to love journaling and feel the power of it."
Well, when I received that advice I started doing that... and I have to tell you that it worked SO WELL! I loved it... then of course, just like happens in life and when my humanity shows, I got overwhelmed and I haven't written very well the last couple of years. The interesting thing is that while I was journaling about ONE thing, I started seeing thing differently in a day. Things were a little more magical... I was a little more focused on the experiences instead of the to-do lists. Since stopping journaling like that, I feel like my eyes have shut a bit about all the various things I am experiencing in my life, and with my kids.
I want my eyes to open back up again! I want to feel that feeling of, "Oh! THAT is what I was my posterity to remember about today." I want the feeling of the eyes of recognition to see. Journaling in that way really helped me to develop those eyes of recognition.
Since I started homeschooling this year, I have felt a huge push to start doing that journaling again. So tonight I am starting on the road. It is very similar to when Elder Eyering gave the advice to write down just ONE way "you have seen the Hand of God in your life today." I love that advice and follows the same guideline.
I have especially felt attacked QUITE a bit in the last 6 months or so by Satan. I feel it big time, he is upping his game against me and my family, and this practice is another "battle strategy" for keeping my family spiritually safe and my mind focused on what matters most.
As I think about it, there were lots of "moments" today that I would love to write about. Like when Elijah persisted on having his soda at Costco, but he didn't get it because he refused to apologize to his dad for being disrespectful. Or when Gabriel had a total melt down about Elijah using his play dough and didn't want to admit that in reality he should have put it away instead of leaving it on the table. Or when Talia came to the kitchen and said, "Mom I just really want to help you with something." Or when Joshua splashed in the toilet and laughed at me when I came to get him to wash his hands, and I had to remind everyone yet again that we HAVE to close the toilets right now because Joshua wants to touch the water constantly. Or when the kids had a break down about Brent going to the theater to help again tonight. Or when Gabe came out of his room tonight and said, "Mom, I just HAVE to stay up with you tonight. I just can't go to sleep unless you snuggle with me the whole time." Or when Elijah was a little rough with Joshua and I had to teach him that it was an accident that Joshua's head got hurt and he needed to rub it better. Or when Talia put make up all over her face and dressed Elijah up with her to dance around in the kitchen....
Do you see?? I have so many moments that I could focus on.
But the moment I want to really write about is when I saw a really good friend in Costco tonight. Carolyn Cooper. She does a lot of trainings around the globe about emotional and energetic skills. Her method is called "Simply Healed". I really love her. She started telling me about how she was talking to a friend that mentioned my name, and how I had told her that I had to work through a lot of emotions about letting go of my business life and focus on my home. We had a good conversation about it because this friend of mine has been struggling with some of the same feelings and situations.
This is the part that was a gift to me. Carolyn looked at me and said, "Andrea... what you are doing right now with your family and with your children is the absolute most magical thing you can do. After all my business "experiences" and contacts (and she has A LOT), none of it means anything. What means something is my kids, my family."
She teared up about her kids, because she feels like there are ways she could have focused more at home instead of on work while they were home. She told me how she is going to be taking a sabbatical so she can be more available for River, her daughter. She said, "I only have a couple more years with my girl to help her be ready for life... I can't waste that time on business."
It meant so much to me to have this little, fast conversation that lasted about 10 minutes... but it was such a good reminder. It was a tender mercy for me. There are so many days that I look at what I'm doing and I don't feel like I'm doing ANYTHING. Dishes... again. Laundry... again. Playing referee with children fighting... AGAIN. It's tough to keep the 10,000 foot view inside of everyday life with kids... especially homeschooling!
But as she was talking to me, the spirit confirmed again that I have made the right choice. I'm where I should be right now and to take being the CEO of my home and my children's education seriously.
That was the hand of God in my life today. I'm so grateful for those tender mercy experiences.
I love you kids. I really do. I hope you have memories of your mom loving you and cherishing you. Because I do. Forgive me for my weaknesses. I promise that I never hurt you on purpose... and I am realistic enough to know that there are going to be things you are going to have to work through in your emotions about various frustrations with me. And that's okay. But know that I KNOW that I can look at God with a clean conscious... knowing that I did the most important work in my home.
I love you,
Your Mom
I was in a really good habit of writing a few years ago, and what helped me sooooo much was advice I received from your Aunt Keek. When I was talking to her about journaling and how I had struggled for so long with it, she gave me this feedback, "Andrea, I had a teacher in college tell me to just write ONE thing in detail that happened to me in a day. Don't try to recap everything that went on. Don't try to just give a 'travel log' or just the 'happenings'. Remember one thing that affected you that day and write about that one thing in detail. Then you will start to love journaling and feel the power of it."
Well, when I received that advice I started doing that... and I have to tell you that it worked SO WELL! I loved it... then of course, just like happens in life and when my humanity shows, I got overwhelmed and I haven't written very well the last couple of years. The interesting thing is that while I was journaling about ONE thing, I started seeing thing differently in a day. Things were a little more magical... I was a little more focused on the experiences instead of the to-do lists. Since stopping journaling like that, I feel like my eyes have shut a bit about all the various things I am experiencing in my life, and with my kids.
I want my eyes to open back up again! I want to feel that feeling of, "Oh! THAT is what I was my posterity to remember about today." I want the feeling of the eyes of recognition to see. Journaling in that way really helped me to develop those eyes of recognition.
Since I started homeschooling this year, I have felt a huge push to start doing that journaling again. So tonight I am starting on the road. It is very similar to when Elder Eyering gave the advice to write down just ONE way "you have seen the Hand of God in your life today." I love that advice and follows the same guideline.
I have especially felt attacked QUITE a bit in the last 6 months or so by Satan. I feel it big time, he is upping his game against me and my family, and this practice is another "battle strategy" for keeping my family spiritually safe and my mind focused on what matters most.
As I think about it, there were lots of "moments" today that I would love to write about. Like when Elijah persisted on having his soda at Costco, but he didn't get it because he refused to apologize to his dad for being disrespectful. Or when Gabriel had a total melt down about Elijah using his play dough and didn't want to admit that in reality he should have put it away instead of leaving it on the table. Or when Talia came to the kitchen and said, "Mom I just really want to help you with something." Or when Joshua splashed in the toilet and laughed at me when I came to get him to wash his hands, and I had to remind everyone yet again that we HAVE to close the toilets right now because Joshua wants to touch the water constantly. Or when the kids had a break down about Brent going to the theater to help again tonight. Or when Gabe came out of his room tonight and said, "Mom, I just HAVE to stay up with you tonight. I just can't go to sleep unless you snuggle with me the whole time." Or when Elijah was a little rough with Joshua and I had to teach him that it was an accident that Joshua's head got hurt and he needed to rub it better. Or when Talia put make up all over her face and dressed Elijah up with her to dance around in the kitchen....
Do you see?? I have so many moments that I could focus on.
But the moment I want to really write about is when I saw a really good friend in Costco tonight. Carolyn Cooper. She does a lot of trainings around the globe about emotional and energetic skills. Her method is called "Simply Healed". I really love her. She started telling me about how she was talking to a friend that mentioned my name, and how I had told her that I had to work through a lot of emotions about letting go of my business life and focus on my home. We had a good conversation about it because this friend of mine has been struggling with some of the same feelings and situations.
This is the part that was a gift to me. Carolyn looked at me and said, "Andrea... what you are doing right now with your family and with your children is the absolute most magical thing you can do. After all my business "experiences" and contacts (and she has A LOT), none of it means anything. What means something is my kids, my family."
She teared up about her kids, because she feels like there are ways she could have focused more at home instead of on work while they were home. She told me how she is going to be taking a sabbatical so she can be more available for River, her daughter. She said, "I only have a couple more years with my girl to help her be ready for life... I can't waste that time on business."
It meant so much to me to have this little, fast conversation that lasted about 10 minutes... but it was such a good reminder. It was a tender mercy for me. There are so many days that I look at what I'm doing and I don't feel like I'm doing ANYTHING. Dishes... again. Laundry... again. Playing referee with children fighting... AGAIN. It's tough to keep the 10,000 foot view inside of everyday life with kids... especially homeschooling!
But as she was talking to me, the spirit confirmed again that I have made the right choice. I'm where I should be right now and to take being the CEO of my home and my children's education seriously.
That was the hand of God in my life today. I'm so grateful for those tender mercy experiences.
I love you kids. I really do. I hope you have memories of your mom loving you and cherishing you. Because I do. Forgive me for my weaknesses. I promise that I never hurt you on purpose... and I am realistic enough to know that there are going to be things you are going to have to work through in your emotions about various frustrations with me. And that's okay. But know that I KNOW that I can look at God with a clean conscious... knowing that I did the most important work in my home.
I love you,
Your Mom
Saturday, July 8, 2017
Power of Christ for Simple Things
Dear Kids,
I had a friend once tell me, "Some days, the only thing on your 'to-do' list becomes holding a sick baby."
Yesterday and today has been "that" day. Little Joshua has been teething, fever, red bum, the works. Poor thing has been super miserable. I can't put him down for a second before he just needs me to hold him again. I had to say that phrase in my head several times ... "Andrea, sometimes the only thing on your to do list becomes holding a sick baby."
I think I need to remember that with the older kids more often as well. They need me emotionally to listen to them, open my eyes and ears and truly care about every little thing they are telling me, and THAT becomes the most important thing on my to do list for the moment.
But I digress. Something that happened today with this sick little baby, something simple but profound. He hasn't slept very well, and by late afternoon was just beside himself crying because he was so tired and just miserable. I put him in his rocker to help him sleep a bit, but he just looked at me with this pain in his eyes. I tried everything I could think of up to that point to help him sleep and get some relief.
Well, then a flash came in my mind from a conversation I had with my family on Sunday. We did a call with Mimi and Papa and siblings. We got into a conversation about living with the priesthood a.k.a. the power of Christ and how we live below our privileges WAY too often. That we need to be calling on the power of Christ more often in our lives, and on a daily basis.
When I was sitting in front of him, watching him agony, I knew I needed to say a prayer. Then as soon as I started the prayer, the thought came to my mind, "Bless him in the name of Jesus Christ to sleep and get relief."
I haven't used those words specifically for a while. Every experience I have had using those exact words have been for situations of casting out devils and making evil leave my presence. I don't think I have ever really used those words in a prayer for just an everyday sickness that will eventually go away, like teething. It's funny... it's almost like the first feeling was that it was too sacred to use that phrase for something as "trivial" as this.
But as soon as the spirit told me to say that phrase, I also had a flash of Christ just standing, waiting to bless, waiting to help. That NOTHING is trivial to Him... let alone a baby that is in pain. That IS very important to Him and He wanted Joshua to feel relief. I could emotionally feel it.
So I did. I prayed, "In the name of Jesus Christ and in His power, I command you to sleep and get relief." I was crying as I said it. But the INSTANT I said those words Joshua stopped crying. By the end of the prayer he was just watching me, with spirit filled eyes. I knew he knew what I had prayed for. I knew angels came to help. I could feel them.
There was a family tonight that I needed to make dinner for and the spirit literally told me, "It is okay, go make the dinner for the family, Joshua is okay here with us to fall asleep." And so I did, I left and prepared the food. After a bit, I went back and he was sound asleep in the rocker chair and was satisfied for a while before he woke up again. And tonight he is getting back to himself again.
It was an AMAZING experience, very simple, but very profound.
In my patriarchal blessing it tells me that people will come to me and "ask for blessings at your hand for they will know that you know that Jesus is the Christ." I think today was a little bit of training involved inside of understanding what that means and can really look like when people ask for blessings at my hand, for the power of Christ in their lives.
I'm so grateful for the gospel in my life. I'm so grateful for my Savior. I love Him.
I love you,
Your Mom
I had a friend once tell me, "Some days, the only thing on your 'to-do' list becomes holding a sick baby."
Yesterday and today has been "that" day. Little Joshua has been teething, fever, red bum, the works. Poor thing has been super miserable. I can't put him down for a second before he just needs me to hold him again. I had to say that phrase in my head several times ... "Andrea, sometimes the only thing on your to do list becomes holding a sick baby."
I think I need to remember that with the older kids more often as well. They need me emotionally to listen to them, open my eyes and ears and truly care about every little thing they are telling me, and THAT becomes the most important thing on my to do list for the moment.
But I digress. Something that happened today with this sick little baby, something simple but profound. He hasn't slept very well, and by late afternoon was just beside himself crying because he was so tired and just miserable. I put him in his rocker to help him sleep a bit, but he just looked at me with this pain in his eyes. I tried everything I could think of up to that point to help him sleep and get some relief.
Well, then a flash came in my mind from a conversation I had with my family on Sunday. We did a call with Mimi and Papa and siblings. We got into a conversation about living with the priesthood a.k.a. the power of Christ and how we live below our privileges WAY too often. That we need to be calling on the power of Christ more often in our lives, and on a daily basis.
When I was sitting in front of him, watching him agony, I knew I needed to say a prayer. Then as soon as I started the prayer, the thought came to my mind, "Bless him in the name of Jesus Christ to sleep and get relief."
I haven't used those words specifically for a while. Every experience I have had using those exact words have been for situations of casting out devils and making evil leave my presence. I don't think I have ever really used those words in a prayer for just an everyday sickness that will eventually go away, like teething. It's funny... it's almost like the first feeling was that it was too sacred to use that phrase for something as "trivial" as this.
But as soon as the spirit told me to say that phrase, I also had a flash of Christ just standing, waiting to bless, waiting to help. That NOTHING is trivial to Him... let alone a baby that is in pain. That IS very important to Him and He wanted Joshua to feel relief. I could emotionally feel it.
So I did. I prayed, "In the name of Jesus Christ and in His power, I command you to sleep and get relief." I was crying as I said it. But the INSTANT I said those words Joshua stopped crying. By the end of the prayer he was just watching me, with spirit filled eyes. I knew he knew what I had prayed for. I knew angels came to help. I could feel them.
There was a family tonight that I needed to make dinner for and the spirit literally told me, "It is okay, go make the dinner for the family, Joshua is okay here with us to fall asleep." And so I did, I left and prepared the food. After a bit, I went back and he was sound asleep in the rocker chair and was satisfied for a while before he woke up again. And tonight he is getting back to himself again.
It was an AMAZING experience, very simple, but very profound.
In my patriarchal blessing it tells me that people will come to me and "ask for blessings at your hand for they will know that you know that Jesus is the Christ." I think today was a little bit of training involved inside of understanding what that means and can really look like when people ask for blessings at my hand, for the power of Christ in their lives.
I'm so grateful for the gospel in my life. I'm so grateful for my Savior. I love Him.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Just A Little Look At Sunday
Dear Kids,
So I started writing a post of thoughts that were completely jammed up in my mind... after about 4 paragraphs I erased it all because none of it was making sense!
I am at the end of a Sunday. A good Sunday. It looked like this:
Getting up late.
Saying good bye to family who were in town and leaving our house.
Making the conscious decision to not stress out about making to church on time.
Helping the baby.
Doing Talia's hair, she gets frustrated because it isn't exactly what she wants. We work it out.
Elijah having a hard time with doing his hair... I remind myself to be patient explaining.
Making it to church late.
Kids asking "why did we miss sacrament" and good opportunity for me to talk about our humanity.
Doing my calling and running around the hallways.
Carrying babies around the hallways for mothers who needed free hands for a few minutes.
Talking to various people about things to be taken care of.
Stapling a bunch of papers.
Helping the baby.
Helping to sing a song for next week.
My kids finding me and waving the papers from the classes in my face.
Me smiling at seeing them run to me from their classes.
Elijah crying because he couldn't keep up with me.
Gathering up the kids and heading home.
Helping the baby.
Filling out paperwork and taking them to a friends house that I forgot to take to church.
Sending Elijah and Talia to the tramp for a few minutes because of fighting... energy out time!
Talia seeing I need help and making lunch for all the kids.
Me making sandwiches for Brent and I.
Helping the baby.
Brent coming out of the office (he had to work from home today) and having lunch together.
Kids coloring.
Kids writing letters, me helping them spell words and address envelopes.
Sending kids to rooms for quiet time.
Helping the baby and putting him down for a nap.
Laying down and catching up on facebook while waiting for Brent to come snuggle.
Snuggle with Brent and fall asleep in .02 seconds.
Vague memory of Brent telling me I am snoring and rolling me over.
OUT like a light until 4:45pm.
Good nap! yay! Lay down in bed and just listen to the hussle and bussle of children outside my door.
Smile when I hear Brent taking care of everything so I can rest.
Come out. Give hugs.
Help the baby.
Help the kids catch up their "task" papers for the week to do bank/goal time with dad.
Kid start to wrestle and fight with dad. Elijah upset because the kids aren't doing the things he wants.
I talk with him about it. We try to figure it out. All the while dad is wrestling and fighting.
I laugh while I sit down and watch Brent get beat up.
Clean the kitchen.
Start to get dinner ready.
Elijah needing some discipline time. He comes back and we talk about what happened.
He tells me he was frustrated and we figure out his feelings. He feels better.
Kids come back and forth from bank time telling me about their goals. Me listening.
Help the baby.
Talia doing a project while waiting for chicken to cook. Me helping her with it.
Gabe frustrated because he wants to help with the project and Talia wants to do it on her own.
Gabe going to his room huffy and puffy. I go after a few minutes and talk to him about it.
He feels better. Hugs.
Clearing the table for dinner, setting the table. Kids helping. Me directing.
Gathering up the kids.
Holding the baby around everywhere.
Sitting down together. Try to hold hands while saying prayer, but have to stop because of fighting.
Brent says the dinner prayer and we talk about Sunday together while eating.
Help the baby.
Help Elijah stomach the potatoes because he has a hard time with it.
Everyone has ice cream... even mom! With chocolate.
Try to get Swiss Family Robinson ready to watch as a Sunday movie, it doesn't work.
Kids sad, so we find something else.
Watch "Queen of Katwe". Kids talking through the whole movie asking questions.
Kids kicking each other on the couch during the movie. Finally find space to snuggle.
Helping the baby.
Finish the movie. Help kids ready for bed. Doing conflict management the whole time.
Prayers. Kisses. Hugs.
Me lounging on the couch and go to facebook for a few minutes, then convince myself to update my journal :-)
Here we are!
When I look at that list I think, "No wonder I am just crazy busy all day!". The motherhood life is really demanding... when you do it right. Involved and intentional parenting is HUGE for our children. It is a must!!
My days look like this - PLUS 1,000 more little things that are constantly pulling on my attention as the CEO of this household. If I were to really take the time and write down everything that happens all the time on a day to day basis... then I know it would amaze even me with everything that happens in a day.
I have to remind myself to be patient with giving of myself all the time. My motherhood muscles are growing and I'm working on getting strong and stronger with handling things the right way instead of with so much reaction and passion and emotion. Parenting is NO SMALL THING!
I'm so grateful for my kids. I'm so grateful for my family. I'm so grateful for days that look like this and knowing that I am hopefully giving my kids a good fabric to their lives. A strong foundation. There are so many things I can do better... but I already know that I am doing everything that I can right now.
I love you,
Your Mom
So I started writing a post of thoughts that were completely jammed up in my mind... after about 4 paragraphs I erased it all because none of it was making sense!
I am at the end of a Sunday. A good Sunday. It looked like this:
Getting up late.
Saying good bye to family who were in town and leaving our house.
Making the conscious decision to not stress out about making to church on time.
Helping the baby.
Doing Talia's hair, she gets frustrated because it isn't exactly what she wants. We work it out.
Elijah having a hard time with doing his hair... I remind myself to be patient explaining.
Making it to church late.
Kids asking "why did we miss sacrament" and good opportunity for me to talk about our humanity.
Doing my calling and running around the hallways.
Carrying babies around the hallways for mothers who needed free hands for a few minutes.
Talking to various people about things to be taken care of.
Stapling a bunch of papers.
Helping the baby.
Helping to sing a song for next week.
My kids finding me and waving the papers from the classes in my face.
Me smiling at seeing them run to me from their classes.
Elijah crying because he couldn't keep up with me.
Gathering up the kids and heading home.
Helping the baby.
Filling out paperwork and taking them to a friends house that I forgot to take to church.
Sending Elijah and Talia to the tramp for a few minutes because of fighting... energy out time!
Talia seeing I need help and making lunch for all the kids.
Me making sandwiches for Brent and I.
Helping the baby.
Brent coming out of the office (he had to work from home today) and having lunch together.
Kids coloring.
Kids writing letters, me helping them spell words and address envelopes.
Sending kids to rooms for quiet time.
Helping the baby and putting him down for a nap.
Laying down and catching up on facebook while waiting for Brent to come snuggle.
Snuggle with Brent and fall asleep in .02 seconds.
Vague memory of Brent telling me I am snoring and rolling me over.
OUT like a light until 4:45pm.
Good nap! yay! Lay down in bed and just listen to the hussle and bussle of children outside my door.
Smile when I hear Brent taking care of everything so I can rest.
Come out. Give hugs.
Help the baby.
Help the kids catch up their "task" papers for the week to do bank/goal time with dad.
Kid start to wrestle and fight with dad. Elijah upset because the kids aren't doing the things he wants.
I talk with him about it. We try to figure it out. All the while dad is wrestling and fighting.
I laugh while I sit down and watch Brent get beat up.
Clean the kitchen.
Start to get dinner ready.
Elijah needing some discipline time. He comes back and we talk about what happened.
He tells me he was frustrated and we figure out his feelings. He feels better.
Kids come back and forth from bank time telling me about their goals. Me listening.
Help the baby.
Talia doing a project while waiting for chicken to cook. Me helping her with it.
Gabe frustrated because he wants to help with the project and Talia wants to do it on her own.
Gabe going to his room huffy and puffy. I go after a few minutes and talk to him about it.
He feels better. Hugs.
Clearing the table for dinner, setting the table. Kids helping. Me directing.
Gathering up the kids.
Holding the baby around everywhere.
Sitting down together. Try to hold hands while saying prayer, but have to stop because of fighting.
Brent says the dinner prayer and we talk about Sunday together while eating.
Help the baby.
Help Elijah stomach the potatoes because he has a hard time with it.
Everyone has ice cream... even mom! With chocolate.
Try to get Swiss Family Robinson ready to watch as a Sunday movie, it doesn't work.
Kids sad, so we find something else.
Watch "Queen of Katwe". Kids talking through the whole movie asking questions.
Kids kicking each other on the couch during the movie. Finally find space to snuggle.
Helping the baby.
Finish the movie. Help kids ready for bed. Doing conflict management the whole time.
Prayers. Kisses. Hugs.
Me lounging on the couch and go to facebook for a few minutes, then convince myself to update my journal :-)
Here we are!
When I look at that list I think, "No wonder I am just crazy busy all day!". The motherhood life is really demanding... when you do it right. Involved and intentional parenting is HUGE for our children. It is a must!!
My days look like this - PLUS 1,000 more little things that are constantly pulling on my attention as the CEO of this household. If I were to really take the time and write down everything that happens all the time on a day to day basis... then I know it would amaze even me with everything that happens in a day.
I have to remind myself to be patient with giving of myself all the time. My motherhood muscles are growing and I'm working on getting strong and stronger with handling things the right way instead of with so much reaction and passion and emotion. Parenting is NO SMALL THING!
I'm so grateful for my kids. I'm so grateful for my family. I'm so grateful for days that look like this and knowing that I am hopefully giving my kids a good fabric to their lives. A strong foundation. There are so many things I can do better... but I already know that I am doing everything that I can right now.
I love you,
Your Mom
Thursday, June 1, 2017
We Jumped Out Of A Plane!
Dear Kids,
Guess what? Your dad and I had an adventure yesterday!
We went skydiving. Can you believe it? We jumped out of a plane 10,000 feet in the air! AH! It was SO COOL.
There were a lot of people who were really surprised that I would do that. I realized that there is a part of my life and soul, the adventure part, that hasn't been released for a little while... ever since having you!
Granted... having a family is an adventure in and of itself. Having babies naturally is QUITE the adventure. There are different definitions of adventure I think. But the part I'm talking about is the THRILL of adrenaline.
This is was a thrill. It was amazing. And I want to go back and do it again. Hahaha! It's hard for me to come back home and get going on the laundry again. I want to just go play. That's a part of my soul that I don't think you, or very many people in my life right now, know very much about me.
But I digress. I need to tell you about what we did. Your dad, knowing me very well, surprised me with going skydiving for our 40th birthday and 10th wedding anniversary celebration. I found out Tuesday night and we were going to leave Wednesday morning, then after that he arranged for babysitters so we could go and have an overnighter in Las Vegas together. He knows me so well... a thrilling adventure, arranging everything, surprising me, then having alone time with him is exactly what fills up my soul!
We got to Mesquite and they talked us through a few things. For 12 hours before getting there my stomach just had major butterflies! I wasn't really scared about dying (even though it's an activity that flirts with death), I was just nervous about having the experience. When we got there they put the harnesses on us and explained how to arch our back in the air. Then we got in the plane and we were off!
It was a small sesna plane and with the pilot and 4 people (Your dad, me and the tandum jumpers). Your dad was sitting right by the door and I was on the other side. It was snug, It took about 15 minutes to get up in the air and then our instructions had us hook up to them. I could see from the look on your dad's face he was getting more and more nervous. He hadn't had butterflies or been scared at all... until all of a sudden, they opened the door, and there your dad was looking down!! Up in the air 10,000 feet! He said as soon as the door opened and he was exposed, he looked out and thought, "this was the stupidest idea I have ever had!". LOL. Then he thought, "Oh well... Let's go!".
He looked over at me and he had a look on his face that I have NEVER seen before. He mouthed to me, "I love you." But it was with a look on his face that said, "If I die, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and soul." It was this intent, intense look that he could possibly be facing death and saying his last good byes. It was so amazing to see that look in his eyes.
Me, on the other hand, I was nervous before we ever got in the plane. But as soon as the plane got up in the air I thought to myself, "I've had babies naturally. They said to relax... I'm going to child birth relax." And that's what I did. I just leaned back and I pictured childbirth relaxation and I took deep breaths and thought, 'Just embrace it'.
When the door opened and after your dad jumped, we got into place and my instructor said, "One, two, three, go!" and we jumped!
There we were, just floating in air! That's what it felt like... just floating (instead of falling, ha!). It reminded me of my childhood dreams of flying. I always had dreams I could run and start to fly, and I thought that. Then, as I was falling/floating/flying in the air I just said, "EMBRACE IT!" and I felt free.
I was free! I said "thank you so much Heavenly Father!" I prayed in gratitude to be able to do this and I LOVED it so much. Then he pulled the parachute and we were able to just relax on the way down.
I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was amazing. I LOVED it. Just remember... your mom likes adventures... even though you mostly always see me doing the dishes ;-).
I love you,
Your Mom
Guess what? Your dad and I had an adventure yesterday!
We went skydiving. Can you believe it? We jumped out of a plane 10,000 feet in the air! AH! It was SO COOL.
There were a lot of people who were really surprised that I would do that. I realized that there is a part of my life and soul, the adventure part, that hasn't been released for a little while... ever since having you!
Granted... having a family is an adventure in and of itself. Having babies naturally is QUITE the adventure. There are different definitions of adventure I think. But the part I'm talking about is the THRILL of adrenaline.
This is was a thrill. It was amazing. And I want to go back and do it again. Hahaha! It's hard for me to come back home and get going on the laundry again. I want to just go play. That's a part of my soul that I don't think you, or very many people in my life right now, know very much about me.
We got to Mesquite and they talked us through a few things. For 12 hours before getting there my stomach just had major butterflies! I wasn't really scared about dying (even though it's an activity that flirts with death), I was just nervous about having the experience. When we got there they put the harnesses on us and explained how to arch our back in the air. Then we got in the plane and we were off!
It was a small sesna plane and with the pilot and 4 people (Your dad, me and the tandum jumpers). Your dad was sitting right by the door and I was on the other side. It was snug, It took about 15 minutes to get up in the air and then our instructions had us hook up to them. I could see from the look on your dad's face he was getting more and more nervous. He hadn't had butterflies or been scared at all... until all of a sudden, they opened the door, and there your dad was looking down!! Up in the air 10,000 feet! He said as soon as the door opened and he was exposed, he looked out and thought, "this was the stupidest idea I have ever had!". LOL. Then he thought, "Oh well... Let's go!".
He looked over at me and he had a look on his face that I have NEVER seen before. He mouthed to me, "I love you." But it was with a look on his face that said, "If I die, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and soul." It was this intent, intense look that he could possibly be facing death and saying his last good byes. It was so amazing to see that look in his eyes.
Me, on the other hand, I was nervous before we ever got in the plane. But as soon as the plane got up in the air I thought to myself, "I've had babies naturally. They said to relax... I'm going to child birth relax." And that's what I did. I just leaned back and I pictured childbirth relaxation and I took deep breaths and thought, 'Just embrace it'.
When the door opened and after your dad jumped, we got into place and my instructor said, "One, two, three, go!" and we jumped!
There we were, just floating in air! That's what it felt like... just floating (instead of falling, ha!). It reminded me of my childhood dreams of flying. I always had dreams I could run and start to fly, and I thought that. Then, as I was falling/floating/flying in the air I just said, "EMBRACE IT!" and I felt free.
I was free! I said "thank you so much Heavenly Father!" I prayed in gratitude to be able to do this and I LOVED it so much. Then he pulled the parachute and we were able to just relax on the way down.
I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was amazing. I LOVED it. Just remember... your mom likes adventures... even though you mostly always see me doing the dishes ;-).
I love you,
Your Mom
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