Dear Kids,
It is the end of a good Sunday with all of you.
It is April 2020 and COVID - 19 has changed the world forever, I believe. There are a lot of things that are concerning with what is happening (government overreach, data misgathering, contention back and forth, lots of conflicting information coming out), BUT there are so many good things that have come from this time.
One of those great things has been doing sacrament in our home. I hope you have memories of this time doing the sacrament together as a family. Maybe it will be more and more common place as the Savior is closer to coming back, maybe what will be unfamiliar is doing sacrament meeting all together as a group of Saints - it is unforeseen at this point.
But what I do know is that I am loving it. We have had Mesha and her boys come down and do a family sacrament meeting all together every Sunday for the past month. It has been beautiful to set up the table with the white tablecloth, watch Brent as he gets the formal dishes out so that we are taking sacrament from beautiful dishes and cups, making sure there is wonderful Sunday music on, choosing the hymns, and having good family discussions and lessons all together.
Gabe, today you gave the lesson on King Benjamin's talk in Mosiah. You led the discussion and I got emotional thinking about the times I was in Russia and there were so many kids who has no idea how to do what you just did our home. The skills of learning how to teach your family and the leadership that develops, just makes me so excited for your future. All of you kids, you are strong souls and spirits! I hope you remember, I hope you remember all of this.
It is going to be fascinating to see how the world starts to turn again. I don't think it is ever going to be the same. But there are exciting times ahead. There are so many people that will keep being distracted from keeping their eye on the Savior coming back, but we must lose our focus! Never!
I love you guys so much. I love you thoughts, your testimonies and your goodness.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
Stripped Of Pride To See Angels
Dear Kids,
The last couple of weeks I have had a type of "cloud" over my mind with my meditation times. Most of the time I can find a good flow and an abundance of the spirit, especially as I envision going through temple processes and our future and anything else that the Lord would have me know.
But the past couple of weeks I have had a type of cloud over me. I was wrestling with it for a while because I couldn't figure out if I had done something to chase away the spirit, if I had done something that needed repenting of (besides the everyday things :-) ).
Then today I read the talk by Elder Andersen from conference and he was talking about "Spiritually Defining Memories". In this talk he is speaking a lot about experiences that we have had, or will have, that are moments when we can say that we know that God knows that we know! They are spiritual experiences that leave such an impression on our mind that we do not forget them.
Most of the talk he was speaking about moments that are involved in regular everyday life - as appropriate because that is where the Holy Ghost speaks to us so often. But in one section of the talk he said this, "Some experiences are so sacred that we guard them in our spiritual memory and do not share them."
Then he referenced a couple of things. First is the scripture Alma 12:9, "It is given unto MANY to know the mysteries of God, nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him."
Then he referenced this from Elder Maxwell, "It takes inspiration to know when to share spiritual experiences. I recall hearing President Marion G Romney who combined wit and wisdom say, 'We'd have more spiritual experiences if we didn't talk so much bout them.'"
Then Elder Anderson then quoted this scripture, "Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, wherefore they speak the words of Christ. Angels have not ceased to minister unto the children of men. For behold they are subject unto Christ, to minister according to HIS command, SHOWING themselves unto them of strong faith and a firm mind in EVERY form of Godliness."
Then I had a flashback to a meditation I had just a little bit ago when in the middle of the meditation I saw in my mind's eye the part of the temple when messengers come and we are taught how to interact with them and I had flash to my mind the section in D&C when Joseph Smith gives distinctions of how to make sure it is a right spirit that has come to testify to you. In that meditation there was someone there, SO STRONG, I felt it so strong that I opened my eyes to see who was there, but the room was empty.
It was ever since that experience that I have had the cloud over my mind.
Then after reading Elder Anderson's talk today I was taught WHY I had this cloud. It is because the Lord wanted to make sure to cement into my mind and heart that the experiences that I will have are for ME and BRENT only.
I have to be very honest with myself about the fact that there is a portion of me that totally understands how Joseph Smith felt when he went to get the golden plates, but he was forbidden because his heart was not 100% right and pure as to the motivation for taking them. I have to be honest with myself that I have not had 100% pure motives for wanting to have spiritual experiences. I have to admit to myself that there is a part of me that wants them for influence, for recognition, for "clout".
And THAT must be rooted out.
In a blessing I received from your dad in February he said these words, "I bless you to be aware of the presence of ANGELS assisting you in your work and at times you will see them and interact with them so that they may more effectively teach you all the wisdom they have gained."
I have been told that I will SEE THEM AT TIMES and INTERACT WITH THEM so they can more effectively teach me all the wisdom they have gained.
In order to have those type of spiritual experiences, my heart has to be right. It has to be pure. No "better than", no dominion, no pride. Completely stripped of pride. And when I have these experiences I was told very specifically to write them down in my private journal and only share them with Brent.
So the cloud was given to me a little while before the Lord knew I was going to read Elder Anderson's talk so I would have enough time to really figure out what was going on. Then I got my answer today in his talk.
I am not going to force it, but I know that I am on a path of further visions and revelations. In order to be right on this path I must be ready to tell no one. Just like it said in Alma that I can know the mysteries of God but I'm under a strict command to NOT share. And maybe the time will come to share, and maybe it will never come. And that is okay. I cannot trifle with sacred things. I keep them sacred. Without pride involved.
So, I praise God. Seeing angels or not seeing them. I praise God. I glory in my Jesus. Always.
I love you,
Your Mom
The last couple of weeks I have had a type of "cloud" over my mind with my meditation times. Most of the time I can find a good flow and an abundance of the spirit, especially as I envision going through temple processes and our future and anything else that the Lord would have me know.
But the past couple of weeks I have had a type of cloud over me. I was wrestling with it for a while because I couldn't figure out if I had done something to chase away the spirit, if I had done something that needed repenting of (besides the everyday things :-) ).
Then today I read the talk by Elder Andersen from conference and he was talking about "Spiritually Defining Memories". In this talk he is speaking a lot about experiences that we have had, or will have, that are moments when we can say that we know that God knows that we know! They are spiritual experiences that leave such an impression on our mind that we do not forget them.
Most of the talk he was speaking about moments that are involved in regular everyday life - as appropriate because that is where the Holy Ghost speaks to us so often. But in one section of the talk he said this, "Some experiences are so sacred that we guard them in our spiritual memory and do not share them."
Then he referenced a couple of things. First is the scripture Alma 12:9, "It is given unto MANY to know the mysteries of God, nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him."
Then he referenced this from Elder Maxwell, "It takes inspiration to know when to share spiritual experiences. I recall hearing President Marion G Romney who combined wit and wisdom say, 'We'd have more spiritual experiences if we didn't talk so much bout them.'"
Then Elder Anderson then quoted this scripture, "Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, wherefore they speak the words of Christ. Angels have not ceased to minister unto the children of men. For behold they are subject unto Christ, to minister according to HIS command, SHOWING themselves unto them of strong faith and a firm mind in EVERY form of Godliness."
Then I had a flashback to a meditation I had just a little bit ago when in the middle of the meditation I saw in my mind's eye the part of the temple when messengers come and we are taught how to interact with them and I had flash to my mind the section in D&C when Joseph Smith gives distinctions of how to make sure it is a right spirit that has come to testify to you. In that meditation there was someone there, SO STRONG, I felt it so strong that I opened my eyes to see who was there, but the room was empty.
It was ever since that experience that I have had the cloud over my mind.
Then after reading Elder Anderson's talk today I was taught WHY I had this cloud. It is because the Lord wanted to make sure to cement into my mind and heart that the experiences that I will have are for ME and BRENT only.
I have to be very honest with myself about the fact that there is a portion of me that totally understands how Joseph Smith felt when he went to get the golden plates, but he was forbidden because his heart was not 100% right and pure as to the motivation for taking them. I have to be honest with myself that I have not had 100% pure motives for wanting to have spiritual experiences. I have to admit to myself that there is a part of me that wants them for influence, for recognition, for "clout".
And THAT must be rooted out.
In a blessing I received from your dad in February he said these words, "I bless you to be aware of the presence of ANGELS assisting you in your work and at times you will see them and interact with them so that they may more effectively teach you all the wisdom they have gained."
I have been told that I will SEE THEM AT TIMES and INTERACT WITH THEM so they can more effectively teach me all the wisdom they have gained.
In order to have those type of spiritual experiences, my heart has to be right. It has to be pure. No "better than", no dominion, no pride. Completely stripped of pride. And when I have these experiences I was told very specifically to write them down in my private journal and only share them with Brent.
So the cloud was given to me a little while before the Lord knew I was going to read Elder Anderson's talk so I would have enough time to really figure out what was going on. Then I got my answer today in his talk.
I am not going to force it, but I know that I am on a path of further visions and revelations. In order to be right on this path I must be ready to tell no one. Just like it said in Alma that I can know the mysteries of God but I'm under a strict command to NOT share. And maybe the time will come to share, and maybe it will never come. And that is okay. I cannot trifle with sacred things. I keep them sacred. Without pride involved.
So, I praise God. Seeing angels or not seeing them. I praise God. I glory in my Jesus. Always.
I love you,
Your Mom
Confirmation For Podcasts
Dear Kids,
Your dad called me the other day while he was delivering a greenhouse. We talked about the drive and the "deep thoughts" he was having while he was driving.
Right now, what both of us are really thinking about is "what is our family's part in the world right now?" Your dad told me he kept talking to Heavenly Father about that question for hours, he said, "I was driving and kept asking what He wants us to do in order to move forward, what He wants us to move forward with in our lives. But the heavens were shut. Nothing was coming through. For hours I kept talking to Heavenly Father with no answer. Then finally this impression came... 'I already told you what to do ... and you didn't do it.'"
What we didn't do were the Becoming Spiritually Centered Podcasts.
When he told me that phrase of "I already told you what to do and you didn't do it" there was a FLOOD over my body. I actually haven't felt THAT specific of a confirmation for a LONG TIME. I was washed with the spirit, it was piercing for my soul. The spirit especially yelled at me, "EXACTLY! GET TO IT!"
So here we are, working on the podcasts again. I can't believe how much opposition in my mind and heart are coming because of these podcasts that will be recorded. But the Lord told us to do it. So we are going to go for it.
I didn't want to forget that moment of the FLOOD over my body of the confirmation to go forward with these podcasts. When I get discouraged about them, then I want to remember this confirmation. If all this is is an obedience lesson, then that's okay. But all I know that is THAT confirmation could not be denied. I know that God knows that I know that we MUST do these. Then the next step will be made clear.
I praise God for confirmations and the Holy Ghost!
I love you,
Your Mom
Your dad called me the other day while he was delivering a greenhouse. We talked about the drive and the "deep thoughts" he was having while he was driving.
Right now, what both of us are really thinking about is "what is our family's part in the world right now?" Your dad told me he kept talking to Heavenly Father about that question for hours, he said, "I was driving and kept asking what He wants us to do in order to move forward, what He wants us to move forward with in our lives. But the heavens were shut. Nothing was coming through. For hours I kept talking to Heavenly Father with no answer. Then finally this impression came... 'I already told you what to do ... and you didn't do it.'"
What we didn't do were the Becoming Spiritually Centered Podcasts.
When he told me that phrase of "I already told you what to do and you didn't do it" there was a FLOOD over my body. I actually haven't felt THAT specific of a confirmation for a LONG TIME. I was washed with the spirit, it was piercing for my soul. The spirit especially yelled at me, "EXACTLY! GET TO IT!"
So here we are, working on the podcasts again. I can't believe how much opposition in my mind and heart are coming because of these podcasts that will be recorded. But the Lord told us to do it. So we are going to go for it.
I didn't want to forget that moment of the FLOOD over my body of the confirmation to go forward with these podcasts. When I get discouraged about them, then I want to remember this confirmation. If all this is is an obedience lesson, then that's okay. But all I know that is THAT confirmation could not be denied. I know that God knows that I know that we MUST do these. Then the next step will be made clear.
I praise God for confirmations and the Holy Ghost!
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Corono Virus and the Savior Coming Back
Dear Kids,
The world has rapidly changed in the last two weeks.
The Corona Virus hit the world and I'm sure that we will look back on this as a time of major shifting and change for everything that happens around us. There have been so many things building up in our time of prophecy... but in the last two weeks it has exponentially expanded.
There is a lot of debate about the virus and how deadly it is or isn't, how it should be handled, whether it's a hoax or government conspiracy...
But what we do know is that the Church of Jesus Christ is moving through some major change inside of it all.
All the temples are closed down (scripture in Enos fulfilled)
All the church houses, meetings and activities have ceased and we are now doing church at home
Missionaries are coming home from around the world and MTC's are now doing training online
The prophecy of the missionaries coming home is something I always wondered about how it would look. I never realized it would look like this. Same thing with the covenant prophecy being cut off - well here we are. It's all cut off to the membership of the church right now. There are so many rapid changes happening all over the place. It's phenomenal. It's huge. It's monumental.
The Savior is coming back!!! I have had so many emotions about it all in the last couple of days, it's hard to even really process them or try to explain the depth of the feelings in my heart about what is happening.
Conference is coming up next weekend and I can't wait! With it, we are going to be experiencing even more movement toward the Savior coming back.
I feel like the virus has really shaken everyone up, and hopefully refocused a lot of people on what is really important. Schools are all shut down and things are only happening online. No groups over 10 people are okay to get together (advised anyway not to get together) in order to stop the spread of the virus. Basically in two weeks this virus has shut down the world.
It's a fascinating study of humanity. It shows our fragility mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. People are running to the stores and the shelves are always empty. It's unlike anything that has happened in our lifetime.
I know it has really caused me to refocus A LOT. My inward heart wants to be right by the Savior as everything is happening in Zion. I want to be there with Him and the Saints. For the last few years I just haven't really been able to feel about whether or not He would be coming sooner or later in my lifetime.
I think I've had issues with my feelings about it because of my own parents. They have been preparing for the 2nd Coming their whole lives. I remember thinking that I was never going to graduate from high school because the Savior would be back first. Then here I am years later and still everything in the world is moving. I've had convoluted feelings about it all because of seeing the focus of my parents (which I'm SO GRATEFUL for, they are devoted faithful saints), but then also seeing how they have aged and they have no retirement and didn't really "plan for the future" and "plant their cherry trees" so to speak.
So I haven't wanted to get into later life and not be ready and prepared to take care of ourselves. We are a long way off financially from where we need to be, but I want to be prepared for it. I don't want to be aging and have no way of taking care of ourselves.
it has been distracting for me, that's for sure. I've just had to come to the point of saying, "The Savior could come back in 5, 10, 20, 50 or 100 years! We just have no idea!" Which is true...
But in the last couple of weeks it has rejuvenated me again! I feel like, "Okay! Things are moving!"
Inside of those feelings though are the heaviness and magnitude of really what that means. There is so much to do. There is so much to happen. There is so much that is going to go on. There are so many people that are going to hurt. There are so many people that will need help. It's big. There will be a lot to do.
I have had a desire to do family history again - I haven't felt that way for a while. Probably because I can't go to the temple now, so I need to do something with my temple time. I need to spend time on it. I am going to schedule a time with Kalea to show me her magic I think in that way.
I don't know what the future holds, but I know that we are being prepared for miracles to come and calamities beyond our imagination. My heart can't wait and sinks at the thought all at the same time. I am feeling just a little bit what the prophets of the ages have felt when they have seen the destruction of so many people.
I have felt a huge pull to get off social media and do other things with my time. Which has been fascinating to experience. I have had an addiction there that I've needed to let go of, that's for sure.
I just pray that we will be up to the task ahead. I pray that the Lord will show me how to call fire down from heaven when I must, and how to let go to His will with death of loved ones, how to have eternal perspective as earthquakes are happening all around me and people I love suffer. I pray that I will be able to call back the armies of nations, but yet be kind to a child and stay in the moment with them as long as I need.
He's called me here for a mighty work - but right now especially it is about depositing into the souls of my children. This has refocused me on my home like crazy. I feel like I've been distracted emotionally from homeschooling and my children because of wanting to add more money to our family. I have been thinking about how to add more value to our lives monetarily and trying to figure out how to do that. It's been a distraction from my most important calling. If we only have a matter of years before the Savior comes back, I have to be here with my spirit and emotions FULL BOARD.
My desire for earning money in the last couple weeks has left completely - which is interesting because I don't know what the future holds with the economy. It is going to be hard on a lot of people because traveling has completely stopped, cruises grounded, Vegas shut down, entertainment industry completely down... the economy is VERY dicy and it's going to be felt for the next WHILE. I don't know what is going to happen with Brent's job - but you know, I'm at peace with it all. We will do what we need to do. The Lord will provide. I know that. He always has. He always will. I've had too many evidences of that.
My focus is on my family and on my faith. I can put energy to help my family in the universe through God being the how inside of my thoughts, feelings and energy that I put out. The time is NOW to put all these skills to use in my every moment of my everyday.
Then the Lord can use me as He needs to.
I love you kids.
You were made for days like this. You were made for days that are ahead. Remember that. you were made for this.
I love you so much.
Your Mom
The world has rapidly changed in the last two weeks.
The Corona Virus hit the world and I'm sure that we will look back on this as a time of major shifting and change for everything that happens around us. There have been so many things building up in our time of prophecy... but in the last two weeks it has exponentially expanded.
There is a lot of debate about the virus and how deadly it is or isn't, how it should be handled, whether it's a hoax or government conspiracy...
But what we do know is that the Church of Jesus Christ is moving through some major change inside of it all.
All the temples are closed down (scripture in Enos fulfilled)
All the church houses, meetings and activities have ceased and we are now doing church at home
Missionaries are coming home from around the world and MTC's are now doing training online
The prophecy of the missionaries coming home is something I always wondered about how it would look. I never realized it would look like this. Same thing with the covenant prophecy being cut off - well here we are. It's all cut off to the membership of the church right now. There are so many rapid changes happening all over the place. It's phenomenal. It's huge. It's monumental.
The Savior is coming back!!! I have had so many emotions about it all in the last couple of days, it's hard to even really process them or try to explain the depth of the feelings in my heart about what is happening.
Conference is coming up next weekend and I can't wait! With it, we are going to be experiencing even more movement toward the Savior coming back.
I feel like the virus has really shaken everyone up, and hopefully refocused a lot of people on what is really important. Schools are all shut down and things are only happening online. No groups over 10 people are okay to get together (advised anyway not to get together) in order to stop the spread of the virus. Basically in two weeks this virus has shut down the world.
It's a fascinating study of humanity. It shows our fragility mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. People are running to the stores and the shelves are always empty. It's unlike anything that has happened in our lifetime.
I know it has really caused me to refocus A LOT. My inward heart wants to be right by the Savior as everything is happening in Zion. I want to be there with Him and the Saints. For the last few years I just haven't really been able to feel about whether or not He would be coming sooner or later in my lifetime.
I think I've had issues with my feelings about it because of my own parents. They have been preparing for the 2nd Coming their whole lives. I remember thinking that I was never going to graduate from high school because the Savior would be back first. Then here I am years later and still everything in the world is moving. I've had convoluted feelings about it all because of seeing the focus of my parents (which I'm SO GRATEFUL for, they are devoted faithful saints), but then also seeing how they have aged and they have no retirement and didn't really "plan for the future" and "plant their cherry trees" so to speak.
So I haven't wanted to get into later life and not be ready and prepared to take care of ourselves. We are a long way off financially from where we need to be, but I want to be prepared for it. I don't want to be aging and have no way of taking care of ourselves.
it has been distracting for me, that's for sure. I've just had to come to the point of saying, "The Savior could come back in 5, 10, 20, 50 or 100 years! We just have no idea!" Which is true...
But in the last couple of weeks it has rejuvenated me again! I feel like, "Okay! Things are moving!"
Inside of those feelings though are the heaviness and magnitude of really what that means. There is so much to do. There is so much to happen. There is so much that is going to go on. There are so many people that are going to hurt. There are so many people that will need help. It's big. There will be a lot to do.
I have had a desire to do family history again - I haven't felt that way for a while. Probably because I can't go to the temple now, so I need to do something with my temple time. I need to spend time on it. I am going to schedule a time with Kalea to show me her magic I think in that way.
I don't know what the future holds, but I know that we are being prepared for miracles to come and calamities beyond our imagination. My heart can't wait and sinks at the thought all at the same time. I am feeling just a little bit what the prophets of the ages have felt when they have seen the destruction of so many people.
I have felt a huge pull to get off social media and do other things with my time. Which has been fascinating to experience. I have had an addiction there that I've needed to let go of, that's for sure.
I just pray that we will be up to the task ahead. I pray that the Lord will show me how to call fire down from heaven when I must, and how to let go to His will with death of loved ones, how to have eternal perspective as earthquakes are happening all around me and people I love suffer. I pray that I will be able to call back the armies of nations, but yet be kind to a child and stay in the moment with them as long as I need.
He's called me here for a mighty work - but right now especially it is about depositing into the souls of my children. This has refocused me on my home like crazy. I feel like I've been distracted emotionally from homeschooling and my children because of wanting to add more money to our family. I have been thinking about how to add more value to our lives monetarily and trying to figure out how to do that. It's been a distraction from my most important calling. If we only have a matter of years before the Savior comes back, I have to be here with my spirit and emotions FULL BOARD.
My desire for earning money in the last couple weeks has left completely - which is interesting because I don't know what the future holds with the economy. It is going to be hard on a lot of people because traveling has completely stopped, cruises grounded, Vegas shut down, entertainment industry completely down... the economy is VERY dicy and it's going to be felt for the next WHILE. I don't know what is going to happen with Brent's job - but you know, I'm at peace with it all. We will do what we need to do. The Lord will provide. I know that. He always has. He always will. I've had too many evidences of that.
My focus is on my family and on my faith. I can put energy to help my family in the universe through God being the how inside of my thoughts, feelings and energy that I put out. The time is NOW to put all these skills to use in my every moment of my everyday.
Then the Lord can use me as He needs to.
I love you kids.
You were made for days like this. You were made for days that are ahead. Remember that. you were made for this.
I love you so much.
Your Mom
Sunday, March 8, 2020
More About Healing
Dear Kids,
I feel like on this meditation/soul searching journey that we've been on, I've been reminded over and over of my patriarchal blessing and what I'm told in my blessing about my life.
Something that I have been really thinking about a lot is the gift of healing involved in the light and energies around me. I am such a baby on this quest - but I know this is something the Lord wants me to fine tune and discover.
Among other gifts, I'm told in my blessing that I have the gift of healing and the gift to be healed. I'm told that music is the soul of the spirit and can do MUCH in healing when administered regularly, beautifully and compassionately. I'm told over and over in my blessing about people come to me for help, for teaching, for instruction.
I feel like learning more about the gift of healing is paramount for right now in the days we live in. I don't know what the future looks like, but I do know there is healing needed EVERY where around us. There are so many broken people and homes. Healing is needed on every level and in every kind of aspect.
I am still trying to determine what exactly that means for my part in it, but I feel like the first place I must put my energies is with each of you and your individual everyday healing, with your individual needs and experiences.
Right now Joshua is fighting sickness in his lungs, verge of bronchitis. The doctor we go to is very supportive of our methods and told me to keep doing my routine. So today as I've been giving him yarrow baths, essential oils, tinctures, liquids, vitamins I've been thinking about his body on a light and cellular level.
When we were sitting in the yarrow bath together I tried some visualizations and inviting the angels around me to help his body. I saw them put their hands inside his body and work with his lungs. I saw them pushing the congestion out, squeezing it out. I saw them put light into his cells all over his body to work together with what I was doing. I invited light into my body from heaven and because he was on my chest it went into his body as well.
As I was doing it he fell deeply asleep - more deep than he had for a while. And he has better energy now than he did before we engaged in the light healing.
I feel like that is what I want to start inviting is the "light" healing from the energies - especially angels around me. I don't know who all the angels were, but I asked for healers. I believe in the different gifts we are given and how they can perfectly compliment each other. I know many of the angels came because they were healers when they lived, or before they come, and that we had the same "classes" about it when I was with them. There is a kinship with healers, that I know.
This is a very refining spiritual journey. I love it.
I love you,
Your Mom
I feel like on this meditation/soul searching journey that we've been on, I've been reminded over and over of my patriarchal blessing and what I'm told in my blessing about my life.
Something that I have been really thinking about a lot is the gift of healing involved in the light and energies around me. I am such a baby on this quest - but I know this is something the Lord wants me to fine tune and discover.
Among other gifts, I'm told in my blessing that I have the gift of healing and the gift to be healed. I'm told that music is the soul of the spirit and can do MUCH in healing when administered regularly, beautifully and compassionately. I'm told over and over in my blessing about people come to me for help, for teaching, for instruction.
I feel like learning more about the gift of healing is paramount for right now in the days we live in. I don't know what the future looks like, but I do know there is healing needed EVERY where around us. There are so many broken people and homes. Healing is needed on every level and in every kind of aspect.
I am still trying to determine what exactly that means for my part in it, but I feel like the first place I must put my energies is with each of you and your individual everyday healing, with your individual needs and experiences.
Right now Joshua is fighting sickness in his lungs, verge of bronchitis. The doctor we go to is very supportive of our methods and told me to keep doing my routine. So today as I've been giving him yarrow baths, essential oils, tinctures, liquids, vitamins I've been thinking about his body on a light and cellular level.
When we were sitting in the yarrow bath together I tried some visualizations and inviting the angels around me to help his body. I saw them put their hands inside his body and work with his lungs. I saw them pushing the congestion out, squeezing it out. I saw them put light into his cells all over his body to work together with what I was doing. I invited light into my body from heaven and because he was on my chest it went into his body as well.
As I was doing it he fell deeply asleep - more deep than he had for a while. And he has better energy now than he did before we engaged in the light healing.
I feel like that is what I want to start inviting is the "light" healing from the energies - especially angels around me. I don't know who all the angels were, but I asked for healers. I believe in the different gifts we are given and how they can perfectly compliment each other. I know many of the angels came because they were healers when they lived, or before they come, and that we had the same "classes" about it when I was with them. There is a kinship with healers, that I know.
This is a very refining spiritual journey. I love it.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Homeschooling Changes
Dear Kids,
I have been feeling a need to change some things up in our homeschooling. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how it needs to look honestly.
I just feel like we need a cleanse from everything we know. We need to cleanse our food, cleanse our souls, cleanse our education.
Luckily, warm weather is coming and we are going to be able to get out to the lake a lot more often. That is what I'm looking forward to the most. I want to be out in nature and let you guys just play, get in the sand and dirt, and enjoy everything around you. I'm excited to do that together again this spring.
Other thing I want to change up as well. I want more art. I want more celebration. I want more of all of those heart things = but I know that I need to mix that in with secular learning as well. Gabe doesn't have much longer until he is going to be doing lots of big kid schooling, and I feel like I have a sweet spot for the next year or so to just be together before he really starts to take off on his own stuff. I want to have those memories together and all of those experiences together.
I know you all want to earn more money as well - that is something I've been emotionally and energetically working on a lot. We need more income into our family and we might as well do it together so you can all earn more money along the way.
I also know that we have precious little time together. I'm feeling more and more of a draw to be doing so many projects together in order to really build your skills for life. I feel really good about how we are doing things in our home, I know that you are all learning how to work for what you want, and I'm so glad about that.
The other thing that just keeps coming back to me is to build your self concept like crazy. That I'm here to build your self esteem and how you feel about yourself, then the academics will come. That of course comes together with also doing spiritual lessons and having a foundation in the gospel. I know that Come Follow Me Lessons are some of the most important lessons to work on together. But that schooling is not just about "getting things done" - it is about emotionally being so involved in what we are doing that I don't even realize that we are accomplishing so much along the way.
I am so grateful for homeschooling. It is a refiners fire for me, and really for anyone who homeschools. Homeschooling refines the parent so much. There is so much for me to learn from - from YOU!
I love you kids.
Your Mom
I have been feeling a need to change some things up in our homeschooling. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how it needs to look honestly.
I just feel like we need a cleanse from everything we know. We need to cleanse our food, cleanse our souls, cleanse our education.
Luckily, warm weather is coming and we are going to be able to get out to the lake a lot more often. That is what I'm looking forward to the most. I want to be out in nature and let you guys just play, get in the sand and dirt, and enjoy everything around you. I'm excited to do that together again this spring.
Other thing I want to change up as well. I want more art. I want more celebration. I want more of all of those heart things = but I know that I need to mix that in with secular learning as well. Gabe doesn't have much longer until he is going to be doing lots of big kid schooling, and I feel like I have a sweet spot for the next year or so to just be together before he really starts to take off on his own stuff. I want to have those memories together and all of those experiences together.
I know you all want to earn more money as well - that is something I've been emotionally and energetically working on a lot. We need more income into our family and we might as well do it together so you can all earn more money along the way.
I also know that we have precious little time together. I'm feeling more and more of a draw to be doing so many projects together in order to really build your skills for life. I feel really good about how we are doing things in our home, I know that you are all learning how to work for what you want, and I'm so glad about that.
The other thing that just keeps coming back to me is to build your self concept like crazy. That I'm here to build your self esteem and how you feel about yourself, then the academics will come. That of course comes together with also doing spiritual lessons and having a foundation in the gospel. I know that Come Follow Me Lessons are some of the most important lessons to work on together. But that schooling is not just about "getting things done" - it is about emotionally being so involved in what we are doing that I don't even realize that we are accomplishing so much along the way.
I am so grateful for homeschooling. It is a refiners fire for me, and really for anyone who homeschools. Homeschooling refines the parent so much. There is so much for me to learn from - from YOU!
I love you kids.
Your Mom
Owning Kids Emotions And Triggers
Dear Kids,
If there was one thing from today that I want to write down, it is this:
Don't Own Your Kids Emotions.
When you are parents, you are going to start to understand the challenge it is to let go of your kids emotions. It's so easy to "own" your emotions, of everything you are going through. When you are mad, sad, frustrated, angry - mainly all the negative emotions.
Since getting back from the trip to see Colleen I have noticed my triggers getting back home with you. A few of my biggest triggers are:
Meal Times: I am hugely triggered by meal times and whether or not you eat. ESPECIALLY when we have to leave. Last night before rehearsal, I was getting triggered BIG TIME that Elijah wasn't eating. I was mainly triggered because I knew if he didn't eat, then an hour into rehearsal he would be a HANGRY MONSTER. So I was getting my emotions all wrapped around his actions of whether or not he was going to eat. That is a HUGE trigger for me.
It's important for me to realize where my triggers are because then I can proactively think about what I need to do in order to be more prepared for them the next time they come around. I like to create positive ways of reacting in my meditation times, so that way I am creating my reaction and not reacting to your emotions.
Fighting: I am big time triggered by when you guys fight. I also have a hard time knowing when to be involved and when to bow out. I feel like I've been involved too much, and it's been a detriment to your social development, because you need to learn how to conflict manage on your own. But, I also don't like when the fighting escalates and brings so much contention into our home. I need to still figure out a battle plan for these times. A consistent battle plan. My mom would send my sister and I on the porch and we would yell at each other out there. But I don't think I could do that in this neighborhood because our houses are all so close together.
I've tried having you go into the bathroom before, but that hasn't been the best place either. Maybe try your bedrooms? But then things get thrown around and that's not cool either. You boys are especially so physical, I have to really thing before hand about how to handle it.
But then I think - maybe I'm owning your fighting too much. Maybe I just say, "That's loud for my ears - head to the other room and don't get blood on the carpet". I'm still working on this one, but I know that I am owning your fighting too much. I'm wrapping my emotions around it too much and I am going to be actively working on what to do about it.
I think one of the first things I want to start trying is when there starts to be a fight - that I will leave and go pray. I don't want to just be "running" from the situation, but I also need to completely change my thought patterns around how to handle it, so I have to interrupt the pattern of how I'm reacting at this point. And I know one of the only ways to do that is to pray.
Really - those are the biggest triggers. Eating and Fighting. Bedtime can be a trigger for me as well, but luckily your dad is home by then and if I need to bow out, then I can ask him to take over, which is nice and wonderful of him.
I'm so grateful for your dad!
I love you kids. I love you so much. I hope you always remember THAT more than anything.
Your Mom
If there was one thing from today that I want to write down, it is this:
Don't Own Your Kids Emotions.
When you are parents, you are going to start to understand the challenge it is to let go of your kids emotions. It's so easy to "own" your emotions, of everything you are going through. When you are mad, sad, frustrated, angry - mainly all the negative emotions.
Since getting back from the trip to see Colleen I have noticed my triggers getting back home with you. A few of my biggest triggers are:
Meal Times: I am hugely triggered by meal times and whether or not you eat. ESPECIALLY when we have to leave. Last night before rehearsal, I was getting triggered BIG TIME that Elijah wasn't eating. I was mainly triggered because I knew if he didn't eat, then an hour into rehearsal he would be a HANGRY MONSTER. So I was getting my emotions all wrapped around his actions of whether or not he was going to eat. That is a HUGE trigger for me.
It's important for me to realize where my triggers are because then I can proactively think about what I need to do in order to be more prepared for them the next time they come around. I like to create positive ways of reacting in my meditation times, so that way I am creating my reaction and not reacting to your emotions.
Fighting: I am big time triggered by when you guys fight. I also have a hard time knowing when to be involved and when to bow out. I feel like I've been involved too much, and it's been a detriment to your social development, because you need to learn how to conflict manage on your own. But, I also don't like when the fighting escalates and brings so much contention into our home. I need to still figure out a battle plan for these times. A consistent battle plan. My mom would send my sister and I on the porch and we would yell at each other out there. But I don't think I could do that in this neighborhood because our houses are all so close together.
I've tried having you go into the bathroom before, but that hasn't been the best place either. Maybe try your bedrooms? But then things get thrown around and that's not cool either. You boys are especially so physical, I have to really thing before hand about how to handle it.
But then I think - maybe I'm owning your fighting too much. Maybe I just say, "That's loud for my ears - head to the other room and don't get blood on the carpet". I'm still working on this one, but I know that I am owning your fighting too much. I'm wrapping my emotions around it too much and I am going to be actively working on what to do about it.
I think one of the first things I want to start trying is when there starts to be a fight - that I will leave and go pray. I don't want to just be "running" from the situation, but I also need to completely change my thought patterns around how to handle it, so I have to interrupt the pattern of how I'm reacting at this point. And I know one of the only ways to do that is to pray.
Really - those are the biggest triggers. Eating and Fighting. Bedtime can be a trigger for me as well, but luckily your dad is home by then and if I need to bow out, then I can ask him to take over, which is nice and wonderful of him.
I'm so grateful for your dad!
I love you kids. I love you so much. I hope you always remember THAT more than anything.
Your Mom
Seeing Colleen With Gabe
Dear Kids,
Gabe and I just got back from a trip to go see Colleen, your adopted aunt. I love her so much! I met her in college, when we lived by each other. Then we went to Chicago with the inner city youth camp, and then we moved to St. George together and lived together until I got married to your dad.
Colleen and I have been through a lot together. She has taught me so much, and continues to teach me so much. We learned together how to communicate, how to be open and vulnerable, how to support and be as a family. She taught me about getting to the root of issues, processing my feelings, going through situations and evaluating them so we can understand people and circumstances better. So much of my communication ability is because of Colleen! I credit her so much with teaching me about how to get into my heart, how to get into my pain, address it and do my inside therapy with God.
It was so wonderful to be with her, especially together with Gabe. It was refreshing to travel together with ONE child. I got to just be together with JUST Gabe. That hasn't happened since he was 18 months old when Talia was born! I loved having the quality time with him, and watching him, just being with him. It was refreshing to have NO interruptions when he wanted to talk to me, and just be with me. I loved it! It definitely needs to be part of our culture to have one on one time with each of you in a traveling situation like that for a couple of days. It enriched our relationship just being together.
It was also completely rejuvenating because I had NO ONE touching me for four days. I didn't realize how much that replenished my ability to touch each of you until getting home. I have so much more touch energy for all of you! It helped me so much to have days on end with no one touching me. Gabe would snuggle with me, but then he'd be doing something else. It was so rejuvenating. Don't get me wrong, I love snuggling and touching each of you - but sometimes I just run out of touches! I don't have any more touch energy at the end of the day sometimes!
Another thing was watching Colleen and just her ability to "be" with the kids around her and accept them just as they are. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything there is to do as a mother (which is not bad - it just overwhelms me sometimes), that I forget to just "be" and watch you and enjoy you exactly as you are. She reminds me all the time about how to do that. She helps me to look at you all with such different eyes. She has all the energy in the world to give to kids around her - granted I know that is because she doesn't have any right now - but it is just a good reminder for me.
Her daughter Kessa was there as well. She placed Kessa for adoption when Colleen was 19 years old. I admire her decision to do that so much. Colleen then got permission from the First Presidency to go on a mission. Kessa is now 21 years old. Crazy it was that long ago! Colleen and I have known each other for 17 years! Kessa wanted to have a change of scenery and life, so she asked Colleen to come stay with her for a few months. I know it is helping Kessa to be around Colleen as well. And it's helping Colleen with so many aspects of wanting to have a family. She's realizing how much she would have to give to kids around her when she gets married. It's a LOT of energy output to be a mom. A LOT. It's just part of the job description. And it's all worth it.
After getting home from the trip that last couple of days I have been so much more at peace with the rhythm of the day together with you. So much more capable to go with your flow as children - which I know is because of being with Colleen. I want to flow with you as children - but also keep in mind that I am your mentor as well. Sometimes every child has the tendency to be lazy - it's part of life. There are many times when I have to push you to get things done, and that's appropriate as well. It's part of my job. But my patience level with you has increased BIG TIME since getting home. I'm so grateful for the reset. I needed it badly.
I love you kids. I love you so much. Thank you for being my children,
Your Mom
Gabe and I just got back from a trip to go see Colleen, your adopted aunt. I love her so much! I met her in college, when we lived by each other. Then we went to Chicago with the inner city youth camp, and then we moved to St. George together and lived together until I got married to your dad.
Colleen and I have been through a lot together. She has taught me so much, and continues to teach me so much. We learned together how to communicate, how to be open and vulnerable, how to support and be as a family. She taught me about getting to the root of issues, processing my feelings, going through situations and evaluating them so we can understand people and circumstances better. So much of my communication ability is because of Colleen! I credit her so much with teaching me about how to get into my heart, how to get into my pain, address it and do my inside therapy with God.
It was so wonderful to be with her, especially together with Gabe. It was refreshing to travel together with ONE child. I got to just be together with JUST Gabe. That hasn't happened since he was 18 months old when Talia was born! I loved having the quality time with him, and watching him, just being with him. It was refreshing to have NO interruptions when he wanted to talk to me, and just be with me. I loved it! It definitely needs to be part of our culture to have one on one time with each of you in a traveling situation like that for a couple of days. It enriched our relationship just being together.
It was also completely rejuvenating because I had NO ONE touching me for four days. I didn't realize how much that replenished my ability to touch each of you until getting home. I have so much more touch energy for all of you! It helped me so much to have days on end with no one touching me. Gabe would snuggle with me, but then he'd be doing something else. It was so rejuvenating. Don't get me wrong, I love snuggling and touching each of you - but sometimes I just run out of touches! I don't have any more touch energy at the end of the day sometimes!
Another thing was watching Colleen and just her ability to "be" with the kids around her and accept them just as they are. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything there is to do as a mother (which is not bad - it just overwhelms me sometimes), that I forget to just "be" and watch you and enjoy you exactly as you are. She reminds me all the time about how to do that. She helps me to look at you all with such different eyes. She has all the energy in the world to give to kids around her - granted I know that is because she doesn't have any right now - but it is just a good reminder for me.
Her daughter Kessa was there as well. She placed Kessa for adoption when Colleen was 19 years old. I admire her decision to do that so much. Colleen then got permission from the First Presidency to go on a mission. Kessa is now 21 years old. Crazy it was that long ago! Colleen and I have known each other for 17 years! Kessa wanted to have a change of scenery and life, so she asked Colleen to come stay with her for a few months. I know it is helping Kessa to be around Colleen as well. And it's helping Colleen with so many aspects of wanting to have a family. She's realizing how much she would have to give to kids around her when she gets married. It's a LOT of energy output to be a mom. A LOT. It's just part of the job description. And it's all worth it.
After getting home from the trip that last couple of days I have been so much more at peace with the rhythm of the day together with you. So much more capable to go with your flow as children - which I know is because of being with Colleen. I want to flow with you as children - but also keep in mind that I am your mentor as well. Sometimes every child has the tendency to be lazy - it's part of life. There are many times when I have to push you to get things done, and that's appropriate as well. It's part of my job. But my patience level with you has increased BIG TIME since getting home. I'm so grateful for the reset. I needed it badly.
I love you kids. I love you so much. Thank you for being my children,
Your Mom
Thursday, February 6, 2020
Meditation Time With Christ
Dear Kids,
I've written a bit about the process your dad and I are going through right now. We are being stretched spiritually in a way that is completely transformative.
Something I've been contemplating A LOT lately is "How much of trials are our creation and how much of them are given from God?"
I believe we are more powerful that we could ever imagine with what we create in our lives. We don't give ourselves enough credit for the "God's and Goddess's" we are in our own lives and the natural consequences that happen from various ways of being, especially emotionally and spiritually. Especially with how things show up in our bodies - Disease is the body "not at ease".
This has been on my mind SO MUCH especially because of what Mimi has gone through with her health in the last two years, and with what Shayla is going through with cancer.
There was revealed more to Shayla's cancer story the other day, so much heart ache, growth and MAJOR rollercoaster they are on as a family right now. I have gone to God so many times asking Him, how much of what they are experiencing is created compared to given? I have wanted to know, not from a judgmental standpoint, but from a place of understanding. I want to understand if it has been created - why and how it was (especially for my own emotional codes I'm working on), and if it has been given - why and how as well.
It has been on my mind and heart SO MUCH. I did a meditation session a couple weeks ago, and I tried to dive into energetic healing. I am given the gift of healing in my patriarchal blessing, and I have been in a place spiritually where I want to try and work with that gift more. So I tried in my session to energetically try and help to heal what Shayla is going through.
I learned a lot from that session - first I learned that I am a BABY in the healing arts. I have SO MUCH TO LEARN. The next thing I learned is that I felt myself take some of what Shayla is going through emotionally and put it into my body. The spirit was very specific about warning me about doing that because that is NOT the proper stewardship for healing.
I had to do some energetic work to let that go - I had to do a couple sessions giving that back to Jesus because I had taken it into my body too much. But - still working on this understanding of creation compared to given.
When I found out more to her cancer story that was just heartbreaking - my heart felt so tender for her and what they are experiencing. My heart has been made more tender because of so many experiences Brent and I have been through - our trials haven't been the kind that is for the public to know about so it's a bit harder to describe - but nevertheless a result of going through our trials and hard things has been that my heart has been made more tender for people when they go through their own aches, sadness, stress, and hardships.
As my heart was feeling so tender for her, I knew I needed to have a spiritual experience and understandings given to me.
So this morning I woke up a bit early before everyone would come into the room, and I did a meditation session. After getting past breathing and settling my body, usually I go into the initiatory body scan. The last few times when I go into that body scan I will invite specific angels to come and administer to me. Today I said, "Who needs to come to me today?"
Not a split second passed and the Savior was there. I get emotional just thinking about it. He was right there with me, and the whole pondering session I did was with Him there next to me, counseling with me and my feelings.
Our Savior administers to the one. And today, I was the one.
I asked him about Shayla and my question of how much was given and how much was created. I have had the concern that if it is has been created - are God's hands tied because of the result of free agency? As I asked the Savior this He said, "Andrea - it is both. It's both creation and given. AND - the Atonement covers it all. Whether it was created or given, the Atonement covers every portion of it. Everything they are feeling, experiencing, going through, have on their plate, the Atonement I performed is there for all of it. It isn't important for you to know exactly how it was created within her body. What is important for you to know is that I am holding her through this, whether she created it or it was given. It is also so important that you don't dive into the healing processes until you have YOUR insides figured out first. And you have to have her permission to go into any kind of energy healing."
He counseled me on my feelings, the goodness of my heart, validation for the blessing I received from Brent the other day. Explaining to me that my feminine nature is about CREATION, Brent's masculine nature is about EXPANSION. That is the base for feminine and masculine. I create. He expands. Christ tried to show me "being carried away by the spirit" and I experienced it for a split second, but my body was fighting for me, didn't want me to leave it. And Christ just smiles and said, "It takes practice".
Because of what we've been experiencing with our meditations I have been hungry to learn about meditation. I have been listening to a lot of podcasts and classes about it. Which have been very informative and very validating. Part of the reason for listening is because I want to gain new skills to do with meditation. But every time I've listened to one, there hasn't been a lot new for me to learn about the process itself. I've learned a lot more about the 'science' of it and what happens in the brain. But the actual process and experience with meditation, there hasn't been a lot new.
Well, during this experience with Christ He counseled me very specifically, "Andrea, you don't need to be looking for outside help with understanding this process. If you want to find out more about the science of it and the brain and the body and how everything interacts, that is okay. But you don't need to be looking to anyone about if there is something more for you to learn. They have NOTHING to teach you. You just need to keep coming to these pondering spaces, the spirit will teach you everything you need to know. Stop going to "professionals" - they have nothing for you. The spirit is to be your teacher from now on." He was VERY specific in that counsel, I didn't even have a question about it, but he was very strong on that point.
He validating my desire for the healing arts and it is good for me to develop it. But he reminded me that HE IS THE ONLY SAVIOR. I can't try to "take" anything away with my visuals or energy. That is out of my stewardship. It is going to take some practice, and like I said, I am a baby in these processes.
But I'm on the path of understanding and getting it more in my soul, that is the important part.
The whole experience with Jesus was so immediate, so tender, so powerful, so personal, so tangible, so expanding, so illuminating, to enlightening, so learning. I crave to have it again. I want to have another experience like that over and over and over again. Today, I had such perspective with my kids because of it.
Another part of the counsel with Him is He helped me to look at my kids how He would look at them. He helped me to realize my flow, to understand that my feminine energy inside of my home and my kids and my life is something to embrace LIKE CRAZY. My shoulder (on my left side) has bothered me for a while. I had the thought the other day that it's because I have an imbalance with my femininity. I am in my masculine energy A LOT. I need to embrace my feminine side so much more and balance it out. AS I've done that, my shoulder has felt SO MUCH BETTER. My problem area is being healed, big time. Well, during this time with My Savior He reaffirmed that feeling and thought. So go into my feminine, nurturing, creating, flow.
More than anything - when it was time to be done with this session, I had a hard time saying good bye to Him. But it was so touching and tender because I WAS THE ONE today. He came when I needed it. He administered to me. He blessed me. He enlivened me.
I am to help heal, I am to testify. Right now I'm being expanded spiritually in a way that I haven't felt for a while. The last time I felt this was on my mission, it feels really good! But now I have life experiences behind me and understandings because of parenting and trials that cause my experiences spiritually to go to a deeper space than I've experienced before.
I wish I could describe what I'm feeling and experiencing properly. The words aren't adequate for the feelings involved. Same thing with Brent and what he's experiencing as well. I will keep doing my best with it and describing this process. The words will come as I practice to tell the stories.
I love you,
Your Mom
I've written a bit about the process your dad and I are going through right now. We are being stretched spiritually in a way that is completely transformative.
Something I've been contemplating A LOT lately is "How much of trials are our creation and how much of them are given from God?"
I believe we are more powerful that we could ever imagine with what we create in our lives. We don't give ourselves enough credit for the "God's and Goddess's" we are in our own lives and the natural consequences that happen from various ways of being, especially emotionally and spiritually. Especially with how things show up in our bodies - Disease is the body "not at ease".
This has been on my mind SO MUCH especially because of what Mimi has gone through with her health in the last two years, and with what Shayla is going through with cancer.
There was revealed more to Shayla's cancer story the other day, so much heart ache, growth and MAJOR rollercoaster they are on as a family right now. I have gone to God so many times asking Him, how much of what they are experiencing is created compared to given? I have wanted to know, not from a judgmental standpoint, but from a place of understanding. I want to understand if it has been created - why and how it was (especially for my own emotional codes I'm working on), and if it has been given - why and how as well.
It has been on my mind and heart SO MUCH. I did a meditation session a couple weeks ago, and I tried to dive into energetic healing. I am given the gift of healing in my patriarchal blessing, and I have been in a place spiritually where I want to try and work with that gift more. So I tried in my session to energetically try and help to heal what Shayla is going through.
I learned a lot from that session - first I learned that I am a BABY in the healing arts. I have SO MUCH TO LEARN. The next thing I learned is that I felt myself take some of what Shayla is going through emotionally and put it into my body. The spirit was very specific about warning me about doing that because that is NOT the proper stewardship for healing.
I had to do some energetic work to let that go - I had to do a couple sessions giving that back to Jesus because I had taken it into my body too much. But - still working on this understanding of creation compared to given.
When I found out more to her cancer story that was just heartbreaking - my heart felt so tender for her and what they are experiencing. My heart has been made more tender because of so many experiences Brent and I have been through - our trials haven't been the kind that is for the public to know about so it's a bit harder to describe - but nevertheless a result of going through our trials and hard things has been that my heart has been made more tender for people when they go through their own aches, sadness, stress, and hardships.
As my heart was feeling so tender for her, I knew I needed to have a spiritual experience and understandings given to me.
So this morning I woke up a bit early before everyone would come into the room, and I did a meditation session. After getting past breathing and settling my body, usually I go into the initiatory body scan. The last few times when I go into that body scan I will invite specific angels to come and administer to me. Today I said, "Who needs to come to me today?"
Not a split second passed and the Savior was there. I get emotional just thinking about it. He was right there with me, and the whole pondering session I did was with Him there next to me, counseling with me and my feelings.
Our Savior administers to the one. And today, I was the one.
I asked him about Shayla and my question of how much was given and how much was created. I have had the concern that if it is has been created - are God's hands tied because of the result of free agency? As I asked the Savior this He said, "Andrea - it is both. It's both creation and given. AND - the Atonement covers it all. Whether it was created or given, the Atonement covers every portion of it. Everything they are feeling, experiencing, going through, have on their plate, the Atonement I performed is there for all of it. It isn't important for you to know exactly how it was created within her body. What is important for you to know is that I am holding her through this, whether she created it or it was given. It is also so important that you don't dive into the healing processes until you have YOUR insides figured out first. And you have to have her permission to go into any kind of energy healing."
He counseled me on my feelings, the goodness of my heart, validation for the blessing I received from Brent the other day. Explaining to me that my feminine nature is about CREATION, Brent's masculine nature is about EXPANSION. That is the base for feminine and masculine. I create. He expands. Christ tried to show me "being carried away by the spirit" and I experienced it for a split second, but my body was fighting for me, didn't want me to leave it. And Christ just smiles and said, "It takes practice".
Because of what we've been experiencing with our meditations I have been hungry to learn about meditation. I have been listening to a lot of podcasts and classes about it. Which have been very informative and very validating. Part of the reason for listening is because I want to gain new skills to do with meditation. But every time I've listened to one, there hasn't been a lot new for me to learn about the process itself. I've learned a lot more about the 'science' of it and what happens in the brain. But the actual process and experience with meditation, there hasn't been a lot new.
Well, during this experience with Christ He counseled me very specifically, "Andrea, you don't need to be looking for outside help with understanding this process. If you want to find out more about the science of it and the brain and the body and how everything interacts, that is okay. But you don't need to be looking to anyone about if there is something more for you to learn. They have NOTHING to teach you. You just need to keep coming to these pondering spaces, the spirit will teach you everything you need to know. Stop going to "professionals" - they have nothing for you. The spirit is to be your teacher from now on." He was VERY specific in that counsel, I didn't even have a question about it, but he was very strong on that point.
He validating my desire for the healing arts and it is good for me to develop it. But he reminded me that HE IS THE ONLY SAVIOR. I can't try to "take" anything away with my visuals or energy. That is out of my stewardship. It is going to take some practice, and like I said, I am a baby in these processes.
But I'm on the path of understanding and getting it more in my soul, that is the important part.
The whole experience with Jesus was so immediate, so tender, so powerful, so personal, so tangible, so expanding, so illuminating, to enlightening, so learning. I crave to have it again. I want to have another experience like that over and over and over again. Today, I had such perspective with my kids because of it.
Another part of the counsel with Him is He helped me to look at my kids how He would look at them. He helped me to realize my flow, to understand that my feminine energy inside of my home and my kids and my life is something to embrace LIKE CRAZY. My shoulder (on my left side) has bothered me for a while. I had the thought the other day that it's because I have an imbalance with my femininity. I am in my masculine energy A LOT. I need to embrace my feminine side so much more and balance it out. AS I've done that, my shoulder has felt SO MUCH BETTER. My problem area is being healed, big time. Well, during this time with My Savior He reaffirmed that feeling and thought. So go into my feminine, nurturing, creating, flow.
More than anything - when it was time to be done with this session, I had a hard time saying good bye to Him. But it was so touching and tender because I WAS THE ONE today. He came when I needed it. He administered to me. He blessed me. He enlivened me.
I am to help heal, I am to testify. Right now I'm being expanded spiritually in a way that I haven't felt for a while. The last time I felt this was on my mission, it feels really good! But now I have life experiences behind me and understandings because of parenting and trials that cause my experiences spiritually to go to a deeper space than I've experienced before.
I wish I could describe what I'm feeling and experiencing properly. The words aren't adequate for the feelings involved. Same thing with Brent and what he's experiencing as well. I will keep doing my best with it and describing this process. The words will come as I practice to tell the stories.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, February 4, 2020
Blessing For Mom Feb. 2020 - My Calling As A Mother
Dear Kids,
I needed another blessing last night to remind me of my focus. I wanted to write it down for you to read in your future....
Andrea Jeanne Palmer, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood which I hold, I lay my hands on your head to give you a blessing at your request.
Andrea, at this time I remind you that the words that you hear from this blessing are directly from your Heavenly Father. Above all He would have me remind you that you are a beloved daughter, that He is aware of you. He LOVES you, with a perfect love and understands you perfectly. He is your biggest cheerleader. He is grateful to you for the stewardship that you shoulder in your family and throughout your circle of influence.
Andrea, you have such a unique calling as the mother of these four children. As you know they are each dynamic in their own way. And they pose great challenges as they discover each day all of who they are and their place in this world and their place in the eternities. You are to be their guide. Always remembering that they have a Mother and Father in Heaven to whom YOU can look for guidance.
I bless you as their teacher to be at peace and remember that the most important thing you can teach them in this life is to understand the love their Heavenly Father has for them and that they indeed have a Savior on whom they can rely. Do not take lightly the responsibility of teaching them to rely on the Holy Ghost as their guide as it will be THE ONLY PATH for them to be able to endure to the end of this life, unscathed from the evils and treacheries of this world.
their secular education is important. It is vital that they learn the basic things of this life, both in reading, writing, arithmetic and finance and music and history. But all these subjects are important ONLY if they have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I bless you with clarity of mind as you work with each one of them individually and are in need of understanding and guidance. It will flow to you and all the more as you heed the warnings and the instructions that you receive.
I bless you to know that you needn't worry about the direction or the medium through which financial success will come to your family. This is Brent's responsibility and HE WILL BE GUIDED. You will play a very important role as businesses begin to unfold and relationships are acquired and nurtured and you will know the balance and stewardships that are necessary when those times come.
Trust in the Lord's timing and all that you have envisioned will come to pass.
I bless you to continue to reach out to those that surround you to teach them. You have been given SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE and it is VITAL that you SHARE IT. And I admonish you and remind you to NOT run faster than you have strength and you will know where those boundaries need to be set. Always remember to put your family first. Above all else, that is the accounting that you will have to give at the judgement bar of God.
I bless you to be aware of the presence of ANGELS assisting you in your work and at times you will see them and interact with them so that they may more effectively teach you all the wisdom they have gained.
I leave this blessing with you in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.
Andrea Jeanne Palmer, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood which I hold, I lay my hands on your head to give you a blessing at your request.
Andrea, at this time I remind you that the words that you hear from this blessing are directly from your Heavenly Father. Above all He would have me remind you that you are a beloved daughter, that He is aware of you. He LOVES you, with a perfect love and understands you perfectly. He is your biggest cheerleader. He is grateful to you for the stewardship that you shoulder in your family and throughout your circle of influence.
Andrea, you have such a unique calling as the mother of these four children. As you know they are each dynamic in their own way. And they pose great challenges as they discover each day all of who they are and their place in this world and their place in the eternities. You are to be their guide. Always remembering that they have a Mother and Father in Heaven to whom YOU can look for guidance.
I bless you as their teacher to be at peace and remember that the most important thing you can teach them in this life is to understand the love their Heavenly Father has for them and that they indeed have a Savior on whom they can rely. Do not take lightly the responsibility of teaching them to rely on the Holy Ghost as their guide as it will be THE ONLY PATH for them to be able to endure to the end of this life, unscathed from the evils and treacheries of this world.
their secular education is important. It is vital that they learn the basic things of this life, both in reading, writing, arithmetic and finance and music and history. But all these subjects are important ONLY if they have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I bless you with clarity of mind as you work with each one of them individually and are in need of understanding and guidance. It will flow to you and all the more as you heed the warnings and the instructions that you receive.
I bless you to know that you needn't worry about the direction or the medium through which financial success will come to your family. This is Brent's responsibility and HE WILL BE GUIDED. You will play a very important role as businesses begin to unfold and relationships are acquired and nurtured and you will know the balance and stewardships that are necessary when those times come.
Trust in the Lord's timing and all that you have envisioned will come to pass.
I bless you to continue to reach out to those that surround you to teach them. You have been given SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE and it is VITAL that you SHARE IT. And I admonish you and remind you to NOT run faster than you have strength and you will know where those boundaries need to be set. Always remember to put your family first. Above all else, that is the accounting that you will have to give at the judgement bar of God.
I bless you to be aware of the presence of ANGELS assisting you in your work and at times you will see them and interact with them so that they may more effectively teach you all the wisdom they have gained.
I leave this blessing with you in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.
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