Lessons Learning With The Podcasts & Experiences Recording, etc.

 Dear Kids, 

It's time for another update on the podcasts and the work we've been doing. There have been so many miracles in our lives while we've been here and so many attacks from Satan as well.

I have to put in list form what we've been experiencing with it so I don't forget anything:

-Every night that we record a lesson we set up the boys room. Brent figured out a system in order to set up the "recording studio". He got hooks, and put them in the walls (which are made of concrete by the way so that was an interesting time), then he connects a rope all the way around the room. After that is done, then he will put up blankets and towels around the room so it's enclosed and finish with putting a blanket on the floor. When that is done, then we have to clear everything off the table and carefully move it into the boy room - it's an interesting process because it's a small apartment, we have to be careful to put the legs of the table into the bathroom first, then into the boys room. then we'll put a fitted sheet on the table and set up the TV monitor so I can see the lesson visuals and get the mics set up on the table. We kill the AC when we record and then by the time the recording is done we are just sweating! Then we take everything down, take the table out and get the room clean in order to move the boys back onto their beds. 

-When we record it's always late at night, so the younger boys will fall asleep on our bed, and we'll move them back into their room usually between 1am-2am in the morning when we finish. Our schedules in our bodies have been totally off with this! We're not getting to sleep until at least 1am or 2am on recording night and then I'm so tired I have just been sleeping in until my body wakes me up!

-The first month we were here we didn't do much podcast work - we were getting life set up. It took a couple weeks to get comfortable with how the bus systems worked, getting around, getting familiar with the area, and we had visitors in the first month's time as well. Which was awesome. But then in March we really started getting busy with the podcasts. Brent finished the visuals first in the powerpoint presentation, then after that was done I was able to get going on the scripts. we tried to record without scripts at first, and it just wasn't going to work. The first time we tried recording we were both SO DISCOURAGED because it just didn't go or sound anything like we wanted it to! It took a couple times recording in order to get a flow. We practiced several times. But then as we found a flow, it was much better. 

-I've been mainly working on scripts, then once scripts are finished, Brent and I will go through them together, tweek some things, add something we missed, he'll adjust the visuals according to final draft. Then we read it together as a practice, then we'll record. In order to finish a script and then finalize the script with lessons visuals and quotes from the brethren and practice takes a few days with each lesson when it's gone well. Sometimes it will be a week for each lesson depending on what we've need to do in order to get a final draft for everything. 

-We started recording in April and now we are almost to the middle of June and we are almost done with all 14 lessons! It truly has been a miracle how much the Lord has helped us. There have been so many times when I have felt like I didn't know what needed to be said, and then as soon as a pray and sit down to put together the script, then Lord will just PLACE things in my mind. 

-In my patriarchal blessing it tells me, "Open your mouth and the Lord will fill it with everything needful." I have seen that fulfilled with this process. The Lord has filled my mouth with everything needful for the podcasts. And I have DEFINITELY known when something was "not needful". The spirit has been very direct about what is needed and what isn't. I'm SO GRATEFUL for that help, because this is the LORD'S project all the way. 

-The first time we recorded we had a tender mercy given to us of no loud noises. I'm so grateful for that because it went smoothly enough, and we NEEDED the emotional boost that resulted. It was a miracle, because every other recording session after that, we have had major opposition. The Lord was getting our muscles ready to face the opposition with it. 

-We had major opposition to the lesson about the Celestial Kingdom being the EASIEST for us to attain when we live our covenants. That night was unbelievable. The noises from the road were abhorrent. The dogs wouldn't stop barking, the neighbors were horribly loud. We recorded once and we had to stop it was so bad. So we went back and recorded again VERY late at night and finally finished really early in the morning. That was the night that we decided from then on out that we would just record REALLY late at night so we wouldn't run into so much opposition. 

-We were getting tired and burnout when we recorded lesson 10, and Heavenly Father gave us a tender mercy. He gave us rain. That night we hardly had any issues at all with noise! It went so smoothly and we needed it because of how burnout we were getting. 

-Then in the Godly Sorrow lesson, about "going to the garden" there was MAJOR opposition. We had neighbors that were partying. It was SO LOUD. We had to stop recording and wait for an hour. We prayed and prayed for help and the Lord drove them away for us. We then went back to recording and encountered several more issues, but every time, the Lord kept helping us. We finally finished and it is a beautiful lesson. 

-Another interesting thing through this process is to find how much we have learned with our parenting. EACH lesson when we were working on it, the Lord designed it so that our kids behaviors MATCHED whatever lesson we were trying to teach in order to teach us MORE about the quality we were talking about. EVERY TIME. When we were talking about the Holy Ghost, our kids needed help with the Holy Ghost. When we were talking about separating worth from performance, that is what we needed to help our kids with. When we were talking about enticements, the enticements in our home SHOT through the roof (losing AC, losing power, having water issues, etc)! It was interesting to see all those patterns and HOW the Lord was refining us within the teaching and REALLY applying what it was that we were teaching at the time. I *thought* I knew these principles really well before teaching about it, but the more that I've learned about the Thought habits of Jesus Christ through this process, the more I realize how much I don't know and how much I have left to go. BUT as I apply everything that we have been teaching, the spirit is guiding us along the way. ALL THE TIME. 

This whole experience has been refining in so many ways. Beautiful ways and very hard ways. Our kids have really been refined by this whole experience as well. There are so many things that have been adventurous for them, and other things that have been very difficult as well. I'll write about that in another post. 

I love you kids, All of this is worth it, I promise. Please let this experience teach you for your lives. I love you, 

Your Mom

Some Grief Feelings Over Mimi

 Dear Kids, 

I haven't written a lot about my grief with losing Mimi. While we've been in Mexico there have been a lot of "FIRSTS" to get through. Valentines Day, Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Her and Dad's Anniversary, Her Birthday, My Birthday... Lot's of firsts. 

I have been missing her a lot lately - but I don't talk about it very much. Not because I don't want to, just because I get going with my day and I don't think about processing it very much. But I want you all to know my deep feelings - because one day you are going to be going through grief like this - after losing someone who is so important to you. And when you lose someone, each person losing them is different. Losing Shayla and the grief I felt with her and all the dynamics there were different than with mom. But I also know that even though they are different types of pain - the lessons that I've learned within the pain have been VERY similar. 

I think that's how it is with so many things in life. We all have different kinds of pain. We all go through different kinds of adversity. It looks different for everyone. But the lessons that we learn are so similar. We learn to turn to God, we learn to find peace in our Savior, we learn to dig deep roots of empathy and patience. We learn about what is most important in life - our relationships and those we love around us. We learn that the gospel of Jesus Christ really does hold THE ANSWERS. Going through such hard things has taught me over and over again the answers that the gospel really does give for the MOST important things in life. 

Sometimes I don't really have the right words to describe what I feel in the moment when something just gets my heart. But I miss my momma. I think I have been missing her for a long time. Years before she passed away I stopped finding rest with her. I feel sad thinking about that - but it's true. As she got sick and aged, I stopped going to her to get answers and receive rest. There were times when I was really frustrated with her, and so I went only to God and to Jesus. But I'm glad for that because ultimately they are the ones who can give true rest for my soul. But I miss my mom. I miss when I was able to find rest within her. I miss when I thought she had all the answers. I miss her laugh and her smile. I miss her ability to love everyone and uplift everyone around her. 

She made people feel so special. She was so good at that. She was so gifted at watching after people's hearts when they were around her. I want to be like her. I want to be half of the mom she was. I hope you can feel that same way about me. I hope you can know that I adore you and love you. I hope you know that I will always put you first in my life. I hope that you always feel my testimony of the gospel and that I KNOW Jesus is the answer. Always, He is the answer for every aching heart. 

She did her job well because she taught me to turn to God. If I can teach you all to turn to God like she taught me, then I have done my job as a mom with you. 

I love you kids. I dont' know what's going to be happening in our future. I don't know the other hard things that are going to show up and when. I don't know when Jesus is coming back. But I know in whom I have trusted - and IT IS THE LORD. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Answered Prayers To Go To Cozumel

 Dear Kids, 

Wow! I haven't written for almost a month! It's been interesting because we've been busy, but not so busy all at the same time. We've had the same type of schedule for the last month because mom and dad have been working so hard on the podcasts - you kids have been following the same routine. The last couple of days you've been ready to be done with that!

We went to Cozumel for my 45th birthday celebration! That was super fun. We had a great beach day, got a TON of seashells, had a cute little apartment to stay in, had fun shopping and eating, and drove around the island in "Hulk: The Green Monster". That car ride around the island was so much fun! 

We experienced a miracle! There was a storm coming in and it was supposed to start before going to Cozumel. I just prayed and asked if it could be held off until we got back. And Mimi and the Lord gave me a birthday present of perfect weather! An hour after we got back from our trip the rain started coming down and it's been raining for 6 days since~! I'm so grateful that the Lord counts the hair on our heads and He knows the deep desire of our hearts. I have learned in my life that I trust Him totally. In my prayers I said, "Lord - if it rains and we have to cancel our trip, then I will still praise you, no matter what I'll praise you. But if you could please hold it off so we can go, I would just be so grateful." 

And He heard my prayer! There have been times in my life that sometimes it doesn't work that way - and I have learned to praise God no matter what. When it works out the best for Him to answer the prayers of my heart, I'm always so grateful. And I've learned that when I don't get answers, then there is always something else coming that is more important for me to do or to learn. Like - we wanted to get a long term car rental while we've been here. We looked and looked for something that would work and would be affordable - but the Lord did not make that available to us. We haven't found a long term car rental to use. It's not that He didn't care about answering that prayer, it's that HE KNEW that it was going to be better for us to NOT have a car. We've needed the reminders of what a blessing it is to have a car. We've needed to identify with what people live with when they have to use public transportation. And I told you guys the other day that maybe one reason why is protection. Maybe if we had our own car, we would have gotten in an accident. Or maybe we would have been distracted from the podcasts too much and it wouldn't have been the best thing for us and our goal. 

The Lord ALWAYS knows best. I have learned to trust HIM ALWAYS. I hope you all know how much I love you and that I LOVE GOD. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Day To Day Adventures In Mexico

 Dear Kids, 

Here are a few things I don't want to forget about the day to day living in Mexico:

-We must remember when the water wasn't working AT ALL and it was coming out in just drips from the laundry sink faucet. We put water jugs there and kept letting them fill up so we could use them for the dishes and the toilets, and to take showers!

-Setting up the podcasts each night for recording. That is quite a process! Putting up blankets all around the room. Laying a blanket on the floor and in the windows. Then we have to move the kitchen table into the room with the TV screen and get all the computers and mics set up. Quite a process each night that we record!

-The kids getting bored of the "time loop" they are in right now as we focus on the podcasts. They are getting REALLY into stop motion videos!

-We have to boil the water on the stove in order to have hot water in the shower. 

-We have to wait to flush the toilet until AFTER washing our hands because when we flush it takes all the water away from the sink. 

-We can only use the internet certain times of the day. 

-Moving Elijah and Joshua from our bed to their bed on the night that we record, and Elijah being SO HEAVY for Brent to lift, I have to help him get up on Joshua's bed since Elijah is on the top of the bunk so that he doesn't fall backwards when he is getting Elijah back into bed!

-It takes double the time to pop a bag of popcorn in our microwave. 

-We get drinking water from the "AQUA" guys in the truck on Tuesday and Friday. And the kids ALWAYS come running from the pool to either myself or Brent (whoever is home working that day) to let us know. 

-Playing classic catches with Elijah and Joshua at the pool!

-Gabe and Elijah STILL love to play animals together with their stuffed animals. 

-Elijah and Joshua doing "Blue Mountain" at night when we snuggle and it's perfect because they have fun and all we have to do is just lay there! ha!

-when we got the water fixed and we could finally shower without buckets - that was AMAZING!

-Talia losing her tooth because of that crazy fight with Gabe and her knee hit her tooth and caused it to loosen and pop out. We have to get that fixed when we get home. 

-Talia getting a fat lip in another fight that she and Gabe had while mom and dad were on our date. She had a fat lip for several days!

-When the water just turned off on Saturday night randomly and we have had to get water from the pool area in order to flush the toilets while waiting a few days to get the water back on. Washing the dishes at night like the pioneers use to wash them. 

-Going to the pool EVERYDAY. At first the kids thought it was awesome, but they got burnt out with the pool by the end of the trip! The kids LOVE it when dad throws them up in the air in the pool. 

-Going to see Jurassic Park with dad! Just the older kids :-)

-Going to the mall every friday to go grocery shopping and get everything we need for the week. 

-The kids getting SUPER into stop motion video making, Talia and Gabe spend their time on stop motion like crazy! Talia created a youtube channel for her videos and has been learning how to edit. 

-Joshua having a lot of emotional break downs and finding his independence. 

-Leg growing pains at night for Talia and Gabe.

-We have been getting rides to church from Rhina, the primary president, she's been so awesome to pick us up!

-Going to the church for Wednesday activities. 

-Talia getting her first temple recommend IN SPANISH! Cool!

-Elijah landing on Dad's neck while at the pool and it crippled dad for a few days after. 

-Talia discovering her drawing talent while here and practicing her ukulele like crazy! Composing a song.

-Going to their favorite taco restaurant anytime we're downtown. 

-Getting into the habit of watching movies all the time and all the popcorn we eat! It's amazing how much popcorn we've gone through. 

-Having to send especially Elijah and Joshua out to run up and down the sidewalk when they are throwing fits and need to get their energy out. 

-Elijah and Talia dedicating themselves to listening to Harry Potter so they can watch the movies. 

-Keeping in contact with friends (Ella, Cody, Jace, etc) when calling them on video calls.

-Choosing movie treats every Friday at the Oxxo when we finish picking up the laundry.

-The kids LOVING choosing their own lunch at the mall food court!

Mother's Day Thoughts

 Dear Kids, 

Today is Mother's Day. It has definitely been a day that has been full of all kinds of emotions. 

I have felt immense JOY. Joy at being a mother. Talia made me breakfast this morning and all of you couldn't wait for me to open my gift. Your dad was so nice to take everyone out yesterday to find something for me. I felt JOY at the goodness of your hearts that wanted me to have something special. 

I have felt sadness. I miss my mom! This is the first Mother's Day without her. I miss hearing her voice and hearing her laugh. I miss her ability to help everyone feel welcome and wanting to keep everyone's hearts okay. She was so amazing at helping everyone feel special. I want to cultivate that within myself. I just miss my mom. 

I have felt a lot of homesickness today. I haven't wanted to be here in Mexico anymore. All of you asked us today, "Do we HAVE to stay for classes? Can't we just go home?" Honestly I wanted to say yes to that as well. Your dad was strong and told everyone that we needed to stay for all of church because it was the right place for us to be. Which he is right. But man, I have been just missing home a lot. I have wanted to be around all my family and friends during moments like this. 

I have had a lot of thoughts about mother hood. My friend, Katie Vrajich, made a post today on Facebook and I think it echos my thoughts a lot. She said this:

"One of my favorite things is to snap pictures of my friends doing normal motherly things. I love to look at those pictures and think of all of the millions of little things they do every day. It really is miraculous. It is truly a thing of beauty!

Child bearing and rearing is a gift of epic proportion. It has changed my heart completely.

But that isn't the only important part of motherhood. Long before children were ever thought of, Eve was given her name because "she is the mother of all living." What is it about a woman that engenders life? What is it that makes things grow?

My hypothesis is that it is love. I think that the LOVE of God, when it just flows right through us, has the ability to purify and refine us and infinitely create, nurture and grow the things and people around us.

It is literally our divine nature.

Wow. What a gift."

I have thought a lot about the LOVE in my heart. There have been a lot of emotions I've felt lately that have been very selfish in many ways. I have just come to see how much more I have to go to truly be a selfless person. It's also a challenge because of knowing how to have proper boundaries while practicing selflessness. I am still a work in progress and I am learning how to apply the principles of being Spiritually Centered within my own heart constantly. 

I feel like I am evolving so much the last few years. I feel like I am becoming a completely new person and I am trying to decide how I like that. I really love the old person I was, but this new person has new life experiences and more wisdom to back her up. This new person is trying to decide how to handle things in her relationship with her husband and her children as they grown into new people as well. 

There are a lot of things going in our home constantly. I just hope I am handling them the right way. 

I want to do things for Heavenly Father. 

All in all - I am SO GRATEFUL for Mother's Day. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Mother and I can't wait to get to know her better, depending on when more revelation is given about her and how I recieve more personal revelation about her. 

More than anything I agree with what Katie said. We grow things and people around us because of LOVE. It is quite a gift. I want to just let God's love flow through me. 

Please Lord, help me to feel Thy divine LOVE for everything and everyone around me. Please Lord, help me to let go of pride. Lord, show me how I can become more like Jesus in my family relationships. I love Thee Lord, Help my children know how much I love them and how grateful I am that I am their mother. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom

Playing Animals With Joshua & Creating Memories

 Dear Kids, 

Today Gabriel was telling me about a little story that I wrote about him in my journal, many years ago. And as he was telling me this story I wrote down I realized, "I haven't written very many stories from our lives lately". Mainly thinking about the innocence of Joshua and how he is going to be growing out of that innocence very soon, and I haven't captured some of his stories lately. 

So I want to tell you a story about Joshua. 

Since he is the youngest, he is ALWAYS asking his older brothers and sister to play with him. Especially to play "Animals". Animals is a game that Gabe and Elijah have played for YEARS (Talia used to play it, but doesn't anymore). Joshua has learned the game from Gabe and Elijah, by watching them. And lately he has wanted to play his own game of Animals, as much as possible. 

For days I heard him say, "Gabe, will you play animals with me?"... or "Elijah, will you play animals with me?"... then he started coming to me and saying, "Mom will you play animals with me?". 

The answer to MOST of these requests from him were, "Not right now Joshy, I'm doing my school." Or "Not right now buddy, I'm finishing the dishes."

He started getting rejected ENOUGH that he was getting super, super sad. So I made up my mind that when he asked me again, I would tell him "yes!". 

Joshua came up to me today and said, "mom will you play animals with me?" and I said, YES!!

He was SO EXCITED. His cute little eyes looked up at me with such happiness and excitement. He was just thrilled. He went and gathered his stuff animals. He has like 7 really small stuffed animals that he brought with him here to Mexico. We sat at the table and he asked, "Okay, what should we play?". So I said, "Let's play 'Travel to Mexico'!"

He was all about that. Then he proceeded to play the game and just completely blew my mind. He remembered ALMOST EVERY DETAIL of getting ready to come here. In the game while replaying everything from his mind with his animals, he recounted what he packed, where we were, what we were doing, what he remembered, the airplane, where they stowed everything, waiting in lines, taking rides everywhere... SO MANY DETAILS. 

It was amazing to me. I had the spirit tell me, "Andrea - he's always watching."

Just like all of you. You are ALWAYS WATCHING. It is easy for me to forget that. I get involved in "getting things done" everyday, so much so that I forget that we are creating engrained memories that are going to last a life time. 

It is a happy thought and a crazy thought all at the same time. There are some things I don't want you to remember. But there are other things I want you to hold onto like crazy. The funny thing is, you will remember the most random things. 

For example - I remember when I was about Talia's age and my mom was going through a homemaking course on some cassette tapes. She was listening to how to run a home better. I remember her listening to these tapes, and then one day when I was right behind her while she was walking down the hallway I distinctly remember her saying, "Paula, go back and pick that up off the ground."

There was a toy on the ground that she then turned around and she picked it up. 

I have NO IDEA why it was THIS MEMORY that stuck with me, but it did. It has an impact on me. I remember being impacted by it. Now looking back I can put words as to the reason it impacted me. I now know that it affected me because she was doing her best. She wanted to take care of her home the best way she knew how. She was applying what she was learning. And I loved her for it. 

So kids, I know you are going to remember things that will be random like that. But I hope that you can find the silver lining in all the memories. To remember that everything we did, it was because we loved you. We are learning, your dad and I, how to be parents. I hope you know that we are doing our best. And we LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 

Thank you Joshua, for playing "Animals" with me today and reminding me of the little things. Yes we've done some pretty cool things in Mexico. But I secretly hope that one of the memories here for you is remembering your mom playing Animals with you. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom

Don't Give Into Pride Of The World!

 Dear Kids, 

There is so much pride in the world right now. It's quite astonishing to me actually. Being away from the typical "Mormon Culture" I can see where pride is sinking into the hearts of so many members back home. 

Being critical of the doctrine of the gospel. 

Defaming the Prophet and Apostles in the public square (which is social media for us).

Demanding things constantly. 

How are we like the children of Israel? How much are we like them when we are always pushing for the prophet to get more and more revelation about what should happen? When in reality the prophet is pushing for us to GET CLOSER TO HIM OURSELVES. 

My heart aches thinking about it. Our world is so caught up in "not judging" people or situations around us, that we have forgotten a very important point:

It is NOT our place to condemn. That is God's job. But it is our place to RIGHTEOUSLY JUDGE. We are told to have discerning eyes, mind and hearts. To discern the difference between good and evil. That is righteous judgement. 

And from my viewpoint I can see VERY CLEARLY how there are too many members of the church who are getting led astray onto cloudy paths because of pride. 

I need better words to describe the very detailed situations that I see. I will ask for the Lords' help to open my mouth and articulate better. 

More than anything from this post I want you to do a personal check in. Ask yourself: Am I steeped in pride? Am I trying to put my thoughts and views above what the Lord has counseled? 

Those are a few of my thoughts tonight. 

I love you kids. So much. Please know that, just like the scriptures say with the Sons of Helaman, that YOUR MOTHER KNEW IT. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the answer to every issue in this world. It is the answer. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is real and tangible, when you give ample time for building of that relationship. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Practicing "Peace In Christ" & Angel Mimi visiting

 Dear Kids, 

We've been practicing all week to sing "Peace in Christ" or "Paz en Cristo" (en espanol) in sacrament meeting for Easter Sunday tomorrow. 

Yesterday I started getting a sore throat and today it's just gotten worse and I haven't felt well. In fact, the whole time we've been in Mexico I have been experiencing lots of different sicknesses. It's been interesting. I think I wrote about a blessing that Brent gave me with the kidney stuff I was experiencing and in the blessing Heavenly Father said that I am not going to be experiencing anything life threatening, but that He is "allowing me to experience things that are normal". Basically telling me that I get to experience these things while we're here for my good and to "bear it well". 

Anyway, I got a sore throat, and I think it might be strep throat. So tonight Brent gathered all of you together to practice singing for tomorrow, and you practiced parts without me, just in case I can't sing. 

I was in our bedroom resting, laying down with the door closed when you started to practice. 

Then Mimi came to visit me. She came by me and said, "Andrea, listen to your family! They are amazing!". As soon as I felt her by me I just started to cry. I said, "I know mom! They are amazing!" My heart just exploded with all kinds of feelings - feeling joy for all of you, feeling gratitude for my Savior and the gift of His atonement, feeling sadness because I missed Mimi so much and I wanted to physically hug her... so many emotions. 

Then she snuggled me and said, "Andrea, I am still your mom. Let me be your mom." I told her I missed her so much! My heart just opened up and I cried and cried. She told me that she was sorry I wasn't feeling well and she said, "Sometimes it's good as a mom to have the excuse to just lay down and listen, instead of getting up, working and talking. It's good to just listen to your family."

Then we just listened to you while you sang. She is so proud of you! She loves you so much! She told me if I can't go tomorrow that she'll be there no matter what to hear you. She LOVES to hear you sing together. I could just feel her pride in you as her grandkids. She is always watching over you, and she knows each of you individually and loves you. 

She then told me, "Andrea, Brent is such a good man." And I started crying more. I said, "I know mom right? He is wonderful." She just reassured me of his good heart and to keep loving him for everything that he is. 

This whole time we could just listen to you practice. I cried. I felt a lot. I cried more. She just stayed by me and comforted me and was just there to help me feel better and take care of me. 

Oh man! I miss my mom! I know you all miss her so much too. 

I wanted to make sure and write this experience down before it got away from me. God is good. All the time. Jesus loves you. So much. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

LOOK FOR THE GOOD

 Dear Kids, 

The podcast is coming along. Nicely actually. We are almost done outlining the lessons on the powerpoint slides, we are getting things put together with the scripts and we are going to start recording soon... I hope. It's been a HUGE process and I can't believe how much my brain has forgotten how strenuous it is to always be putting together content for other's to listen to! It's crazy!

Your dad and I made another commitment that everyday we are going to be making time for meditation, personal prayers, family prayers and making sure we are reading scriptures everyday as a family. We need more of the spirit in our lives, and we need more of God in order for that to come about. 

I've been meditating every morning and praying in my heart for the Lord to help me be spiritually focused in a way that I can really apply everything that we are teaching in our lives as a family and as parents. There are many situations that I do great in! And there are many moments that I can improve. 

I HOPE you know kids, that your mom and dad are doing our best, but you are going to have to forgive us of our humanity as you are growing and getting older. We are figuring this out as we go along and doing our best to be close to God inside of it all. As our kids you will know our weaknesses better than ANYONE else. 

Please give us grace. 

When you look back at us, look for the good. Look for what we are always striving to do. Look for what we DID accomplish as a family. LOOK FOR THE GOOD! In us and in everyone around you. That doesn't mean not to have boundaries, you need to protect yourself from anyone who might be destructive. But when someone is doing their best, look for the good. 

I love you kids. SO MUCH. 

Your Mom

April 2022 Conference TakeAways and Jesus Coming Back!

 Dear Kids, 

(this picture is of the kids doing the conference puzzle to get a treasure!)

We just finished conference weekend in Mexico! How I love conference. I'm so grateful for conference and the way it helps to recenter my soul. 

Kids... the world is getting crazier. People calling "evil good and calling good evil" is getting more and more pervasive everywhere that you turn. Emotions with everyone's differing opinions is creating contention that is just alarming, especially inside of people's souls. 

I felt from conference some very specific things for me and for our family. 

1. The FIRST thing I felt was actually more of a picture and vision in my mind. As President Nelson was giving his first talk of the conference, it was like I could see in my mind's eye that Heavenly Father was standing over the earth and I was caught up to meet Him. He just looked at the earth and said, "Andrea, it's going to keep getting more and more wicked. Don't pay attention to that. The only thing that matters now is the gospel. And inside of spreading the gospel, you and others are going to be persecuted. Give them no heed. Just keep being an example and spread the good word. It's the only thing that matters now." I could feel the heaviness in His heart for the earth and the inhabitants of the earth. It was enormous. And I could feel how much more wicked things are going to keep getting. The worldly agendas are going to keep getting more and more and more off base. And people are going to think it's normal. We are NOT to fight and add to the contention of the dialogue's. But we are to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is our whole focus. 

2. The talks were all about missionary work and being patient and peaceable followers of Christ IN adversity. Things are not going to get easier. But with God's help we are going to be able to get through it. We are to spread the gospel, that's it. 

3. I could feel the heaviness of the Prophet and the Apostles. I could feel it from them. they are not out of touch with things happening. And there are things they might have opinions about that I disagree with (vaccines) but I am to NEVER publicly argue with them. Never. That is putting my temple covenants on hold and I will not do that. They are giving their lives for the work of the gospel throughout the earth. They know that we are heading for more war, more fighting, more contention. They are pleading with us to be ready for Zion. They are pleading with us to ready our hearts to be included. 

Those were my main take-aways. 

Sunday night I had a total break down. Brent and I knelt down to say our couple prayers and it was my turn. I starting praying about conference and pleading with the Lord to give us more of His spirit and I just started crying. After finishing Brent held me and I just told him, "I'm so tired of Jesus not being here anymore! I just want Him to walk into our house and play uno with my kids. I want Him to just come sit with us while I make spaghetti." I just cried and cried. My heart is homesick for Jesus. Really homesick for Him to just BE HERE. We can't do this without Him. And we don't know how much longer we have until He comes back, but man... my heart aches for it. I told the Lord in my prayer that, "if one of the reasons why we had to get rid of everything and get on the road is so we could just go to build the New Jerusalem whenever you ask us, then I'm ready to do it! We are ready if you want to call us to do that!" 

I'm ready for Zion. That's for sure. I am ready for it. I am ready to just go be with the Saints that have their hearts set on Jesus coming and are rooting out pride. I am so ready for that. 

So many people are hyperfocusing on the "issues of the day" that we are getting distracted as a people about what is really happening here! We can't hyper focus on something so much that it creates pride in our hearts in a way that Jesus isn't a part of our daily conversations anymore. How many people talk about all the issues of the day instead of talking about Jesus? Too many! Including myself! We can all do better. 

I love you kids. So much. I hope you know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. The Priesthood of God is restored to the earth and Jesus is coming back. I don't know when... maybe 100 years from now, but keep your eyes focused on HIM. 

I love you, 

Your Mom