Tender Mercy In Clothing

Dear Natalia,

I have to tell you about a little tender mercy tonight.

We cleaned out all of the kids clothes today. We took out everything that was too small and put it into storage. Well, that left you and Gabe with MUCH less than you had before. It was okay to rotate, because it was starting to get ridiculous, but it made me realize that I had a lot of clothing to catch up on with both of you.

The principle of creating space and the Lord will fill it is real. And also that the Lord is aware and sends little tender mercies. Tonight at mutual my Beehive advisor came up to me and asked me what size you were and then she gave me a bag of clothes. She said, "You can have whatever you need and then if you know someone who has a girl with the other size feel free to pass it along."

Well, tonight I came home and went through the bag... EVERYTHING in there is your size. Everything! What a tender mercy. There are going to be a few more things we are going to need to get, but this helps tremendously! When I was going through the bag I had the strongest feeling from the spirit confirming to me that the Lord is very aware of me, of you, and of our family. If we will allow Him, then he will let everything come to us that we need.

That was our little tender mercy. I cried about it. It was a perfect confirmation of the Lord's love for me.

I love you,

Your Mom

Return and Report for September. Goals for October.

Dear Kids,

I was telling your dad about an accountability system that I have used with clients through the years. Basically a weekly accountability of goals and accomplishments and such, and then a month end review of everything that happened and everything that was accomplished toward the end goal. It really helped me through the years keep on track with the overall vision of my clients and make sure we were on the right track and forward progression... and especially that everyone was on the same page.

Well, when I was talking to him about this, suggesting this for one of his clients right now, he mentioned to me that I need to keep this system up, just with you. I am the CEO of our home afterall, and it would be a great thing for me to look over the last month and see everything that has happened and everything that was accomplished, moving toward our end goal.

It was perfect timing to write it down because, afterall, it is October 1st! So perfect timing to have some accountability... my favorite way of saying this is to "return and report" :-).

Here it goes... In the month of September, this is what was accomplished in our home:

• Mom didn't go crazy. THAT is always a huge part of getting to the end goal. 
  
• This month of homeschooling we have gone over the water cycle, did a whole space unit for a week, did a body unit for a couple of days, and now we are into the science experiment unit (which we are still working on currently). We have done a nature walk every week and started a nature journal.
• I have read "Love and Logic", "Thomas Jefferson Education" and now working on "Red Badge of Honor". I have also read the Russian Book of Mormon outloud at least 2-3 times a week.
• Every school day both Gabriel and Talia have done writing time, reading time and Rusty and Rosy time (computer program). Even if it was just for 5 minutes (most days was about 10 minutes each), everyday those things were accomplished. Which freaking ROCKS. Writing time consists of either a writing sheet or doing "spelling with our feet". We have done math this way as well. 
• We have filled up our complete scriptural timeline. 
• We have done scriptures everyday, either in the morning or at night with the scriptural timeline, reading scriptures or watching scripture videos.
• I have gone to the gym 4-5 times each week. I officially call this "Saving My Sanity Time". 
• I taught the pain, headache, chronic pain, muscular pain, etc. class for our family natural medicine call. 
• Gabe FINALLY rode his bike without training wheels! This is the latest accomplishment just for the last 2 days! YES.
• We went on a cave adventure with dad to the Lava Tubes in Snow Canyon Park. 
• We went to Sandhollow and played on the beach. 
• We have practiced swimming every week. Gabe is SO CLOSE to swimming independently - that has just happened in the last two weeks.
• I joined the homeschool group on facebook and yahoo. I have volunteered to organize park days for that group. I got a deal at the trampoline park for the homeschool group once a month. 
• I have made it to every mutual activity except one for my calling in the YW Presidency. I have held a presidency meeting with my girl presidency as well and planned the next few months activities. 
• We have held 2 official meetings for Basket Brigade with the Family Nominations Committee and the Purchasing Committee. I have contacted several people about articles and/or presentations. 
• I am halfway through reading "Charolette's Web" with Gabe. 
• Introduced Gabe and Talia to the library and they have loved it. 
• I have given a couple massages. 
• I have started on Christmas gifts at night that I am making this year. 
• Did really well while Brent was out of town on a tour for a week and a half.
• Most nights the dishes are done, the house is vacuumed and things aren't crazy for the next day. 
• Journaling privately various experiences in our lives. 
• Met several friends for play dates to TRY and keep up relationships!
• We have been outside EVERYDAY. Either at the park, playing with friends, talking a walk, going on some adventure, etc. 
• Spent time with my brother and his new wife when they were in town. Able to connect a bit with them and they have been so generous helping us with various needs.
• Incorporated "Gobbley-Goop" into our routine. The kids leave messes, then Gobbley-Goop gets their messes. They have to do a chore to earn things back. It is beautiful. 
• Spent girl time with my two best friends going to the women's conference. Helped Shauna with some rides and she spent some time at the house for a few days. 
• Soccer practices, soccer games, tumbling classes, dance classes. 
• Got a few things painted in our home to change it up a bit. Kept my plants alive out front.

That list is so helpful for me to look at!! I love it. My major focuses for October are:

• Conference! I can't wait. 
• More consistent MEANINGFUL personal study - especially from the conference talks.
• No eating after 8pm. 
• Keep working on Christmas gifts at night (I want to hand make most of my gifts this year). 
• Read 2 new books. 
• Meditation. I haven't really done any kind of purposeful meditation for a few months. I can totally accomplish this during gym time - which makes it doable to add to our already really busy lives.
• Basket Brigade. 
• Keep the current pace with homeschool (this pace is feeling good) and be very aware of what the kids want to learn about to incorporate into our studies. 
• Get to know more homeschooling moms in the area with the moms night.
• Do some planting for the October-December season. 

Yes... this was good advice to incorporate this into my CEO mom life. 

I love you,

Your Mom

Already Doing

Dear Kids,

I have been doing a lot of reading lately - lots of books, lots of blogs, lots of different things I can get my hands on about parenting and how to raise a family. You are all going through so much changing I haven't felt like I know how to keep up with your progression.

Then just tonight I saw a pinterest picture that says "6 things that make you a better mom" and I started to get a little gut reaction of *UGH*. I started to think, "Can there REALLY BE SIX MORE THINGS?? Especially to add to what I am already doing and learning?".

All the feedback, all the professional advice, all the different opinions about parenting is good... to a point. However, it gets to the point where I just have to say to myself, "I am already a great mom. I don't need to take the time to read something else. I am ALREADY DOING."

That is the phrase for the night. I am already doing.

I am already tucking you in at night and talking with you about your day. There are some nights that are better than others. There are some nights I look at you and I feel all the love in my heart for you. There are some nights when we are both so exhausted that I kiss you on the forehead and leave the room because I must have my alone time. There are some nights we get home late and we hurry and brush our teeth, say prayers and get in bed before everyone breaks down all together. There are some nights that I cuddle with you, we laugh, we tickle each other, we tell stories.

I am already working on my patience. There are some days when I am golden. The golden girl mom and I handle things picture perfect. There are some days when I am really tired from various other stresses and my temper is shorter than it was the day before. There are some days I apologize more than I wish I had to. There are some days when I just have fun and it doesn't seem like anything in the world could take my smile away. There are some days when the whines just don't stop (no matter what "tactic" I use) and by 5pm and dinner hasn't been made yet because of everything else that has suddenly hit me that day that I go and get a pizza and we watch a movie.

I am already taking time for myself. There are some days when I don't get as much time as I wanted to have. There are some days I plan for girl time with girlfriends, then something happens and it doesn't work out. There are some days when I have to run out of the house as soon as your dad gets home because I must take an hour to breath and have space. There are some days when I wish I had just a second to spare to just take a shower. There are some days when I work on so many outside, church and community projects that I have to remind myself to stop overwhelming myself and say 'no' more often. There are other days when the projects are finished and I get restless and remind myself that it is good to sit and just breathe.

I am already reading with you. I am already studying with you. I am already laughing with you. I am already feeding you good food. I am already smiling at you. I am already hugging you. I am already letting you help me do so many things so you can learn. I am already doing chores with you. And sometimes I am impatient, I don't let you help, I stick cold cereal in front of your face, I do all the chores at night because I don't have the energy to teach you how to do it anymore, I have to put the book away because of so much resistance...

You get the idea. Life is life. Days are sometimes really slow and wonderful and everyone is getting along great. Other days I have to have some adventure and I want to go conquer the world with all three of you in my backpack. There are other days when life is really stressful, business is super hard, schooling is over the top, outside things that hit us are too much for me to handle and I go cry in the bathroom. Days are sometimes full of magic and amazement and I think that they could be that way forever! There are other days when we don't see your dad... ever. When you cry for him and miss him so much and I have to console you and let you know that just because he is gone, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. There are other days when we are together as a family all day and we can take our time in the morning, we can go on hikes, we can go on adventures, we eat together and everything is "picture perfect".

I think the biggest thing that I am learning with all my reading and all my parenting study is that I am already doing - I AM ALREADY DOING. No advice in the world can compensate for the actual application that sometimes doesn't look or play out perfectly... but I get to get up the next day, brush myself off and try again.

No matter what, I always try again.

I love you so much,

Your Mom

Update with Homeschooling Stuff

Dear Kids,

Homeschooling Post Update:

I need to keep good notes about what we are doing in our home for schooling. I have been counseled to do it, so here it goes.

1. I started teaching them handwriting when they were 3. Very slowly. But they were interested. So I started when they were 3. We did letters, we did shapes, we did anything they wanted.
2. Always read books. Everyday. Sometimes only one short book a day. But everyday they had a book in their hands.
3. Computer programs are a friend, as long as you aren't dependent on them. I love the Rusty and Rosy program both Talia and Gabe have used. Love them.
4. I haven't made any sensory bins. I have them go outside instead. Or in the bath. Sensory bins have been too messy for me personally to handle. So I haven't done it.

5. Gabe started reading when he was 5 years old. Talia will be the same, I can already see that. I have been reading books with Gabe and we read every other word together. Just lately I have told him he can play 5 minutes of a game on my phone if he chooses a book to read by himself. He loves that incentive.
6. We do 'Academy Time'. That has really helped to separate the time we use for schooling to call it something specific.
7. I am still very new to this. So there are going to be lots of different ways to do this throughout the years, I can already see that.
8. We are using butcher paper A LOT. Anything we draw, I want to get the butcher paper out so we can draw it REALLY BIG. The water cycle. Their bodies. Plants. Animals. Everything.
9. I have tried to really pay attention to what they really love. So far it has helped with unit studies quite a bit.
10. I do listening time everyday when we read a chapter book. Then I ask about 3 questions about each chapter we read to see if he listened. I have been doing this with Gabe at this point. Talia hasn't shown a lot of interest yet.
11. I am so grateful that I have done chores with my kids really young. Gabe is folding his own laundry. It is awesome. He came out of the laundry room the other day with his basket of clothes in his hands and said, "These need to be folded". Then he folded them and put them away. He is 5. It is awesome. Talia can unload the dishwasher by herself already. Taking the time to teach them their chores IS PAYING OFF. I need to remember that a lot of times!
12. I have lately instituted the "Gobbly-Goop Bag". IF they leave stuff out, then Gobbly-Goop gets it. I love this system. Then to earn it back they have to do a chore.
13. I love going on nature walks. We discover something everytime.
14. I want to learn more names of plants to teach them on our nature walks.
15. I haven't done anything fancy to teach them their letters. They get it eventually. I don't stress over the really simple, simple lessons when they are young. They catch on. They will know it simply because it is so simple.
16. I have been trying to talk through everything more so they see the process that happens around us.
17. If I am in a room doing work I insist that anyone who is in that room with me helps me work. Drives me crazy to be the one working and then other people are sitting around. If they don't want to help me, they have to leave. Ironically, because they want to be around me, they stay and help.
18. I have LOVED doing the schooling stuff. IT has been the other everyday mom stuff that has overwhelmed me. Keeping up with my house and everything else I am still trying to figure out. But I can't have a crazy messy house. That drives me crazy.
19. I have been doing 'spelling with your feet" with Gabe and "addition and subtraction" with your feet. I made big number and letter charts that we can put on the floor then hop from letter to letter to spell a word, as well with the math. Gabe LOVES that. Getting his whole body involved like that has been awesome.
20. Everyday we do something to write and something to read. No matter what. Even if it is just 15 minutes, that is an everyday thing.
21. We have been doing the timeline in our wall, starting with the scripture stories. That has been AWESOME. I love that and I will keep doing that for sure. I cut out pictures from ensigns and laminated them for the this timeline. Then everyday for the beginning of academy time we do a prayer then read about the scripture story.
22. I want to institute memorizing the articles of faith and other scriptures in the future. I haven't put pressure on myself about that yet because I am still trying to get everything else down.
23. I love room time. Gabe and Talia have a separate room time everyday so they are alone to play in their rooms everyday. That has been great for a break. We do quiet time everyday as well. That is huge for me. A lot of times I take a little nap as well! I get so tired sometimes!
24. St. Johns Wart. Red Raspberry. I love these herbs and they keep my emotions and stress under control.
25. I still have to be better about scheduling breaks for myself. I need a break every week away from the house and away from the kids. I know other moms who have mentioned this as well. If it is scheduled every week so my own time and individuality is maintained, then my break downs will be less.
26. Park days with other families have been GREAT. I love them. I want to schedule a "friend day" every week where they choose a friend to play with and we set up the play date. I haven't gotten there quite yet. Mainly in the afternoons for that.

I think that is mainly what I have had in my mind about it all up to this point!

Andrea

Financial Hardships and Marriage

Dear Friends,

This is to anyone who maybe needs this.

What does love look like when financial stress is really high?

I looks the same as when financial stress isn't very high. We get up in the morning and say to each other, "I love waking up to you." We go along with our morning and hug each other a few times as we pass by. When you leave in the morning I give you a kiss. Then you go out the front door. Then I run to you again to give you another hug.

A lot of reassurance.

Is our financial stress because of bad decisions? Yes. Is it easy to blame? Very. Is it right to blame? No. The other night I needed to get away into nature so I could sort through my feelings of blame. I went. I walked for a while. I found a rock by the water. I sat. I cried. I asked Heavenly Father to take the anger feelings away. I cried some more. Then I got up, shook off the dirt, and said to myself, "I am not a victim. I still choose to be together. Is this enough to ruin our eternal family for? NEVER."

I understand why finances are a huge reason for a lot of divorces. But here is the thing. Finances are NOT the reason. Choosing to see the most important relationship in your life with contempt and anger are the reason. Choosing to blame is the reason. Choosing to be farther apart because of it is the reason.

Is it hard to love someone when it was their poor choices that put you in a bad situation? Yes. It is hard. Is it still right to love that person no matter what? Yes. No matter what.

No matter what.

Keep your chin up. Keep praying. Keep hoping for better days. Keep eyes on the future and the future of hope and faith. The future is as bright as your faith.

Choose to work together inside of the struggle. It is hard. But it is possible.

I love you. I love you forever.

Your Wife

Day to Day Moments

Dear Kids,

I am sitting here while you are in the tub. You are playing so amazingly well. I am so grateful for the times when you play so well. You are talking nice, you are being polite, you are using your imaginations like crazy. It is awesome.

There are times like these when I think that perhaps I am doing something right. There are other times when I feel like I will never get this parenting thing down. I hope other people feel that way. There is so much advice out there, so many things that people say are the right thing to do, when in reality it comes down to the day to day moments that build our lives together.

Your dad and I have been tried quite a bit in the last few months. The Lord is taking us through a lot of testing ground. Some moments are easier than others. But I have had the opportunity through it all to practice a lot of gratitude. I am grateful for so many things around me. Dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, electricity, a home, a warm bed, never going hungry. More than anything I am grateful for you. All three of you. I have had a lot time to thank Heavenly Father for a baby who screams, a lot. Elijah - you just want to scream ... all the time. I am doing my best to teach you how to communicate in other ways, but that is your 'go-to' communication. I will never judge a parent of a screamer ever again... especially when it is the third child.

Ultimately what matters is that we are using the everyday moments to make it back to Heavenly Father. Have I had the spirit with me today? Yes. Have I had hard moments? Yes. Have I handled everything right? No. Have I repented and tried to do better after I faltered? Yes. If I died today would I be in the path to the celestial kingdom? Yes.

Thank you for loving me, even when life is hard.

I love you,

Your Mom

Gratitude: 9/7/14

Dear Kids,

I am taking on Elder Eyering's challenge from a few conferences ago about writing down daily, at the end of everyday, how I have seen the Lord's hand in my life.

I have found myself really having a hard time emotionally, spiritually and mentally for the last little while. There are a few reasons for it, but for sure one of the reasons is because I need to practice gratitude a little bit more frequently. Especially for you kids... to know that I have a testimony of my Savior. There are so many times my frustrations come out and you see what no one else in the world sees. There is a side of me that no one knows but my kids and my husband. So especially for you, I need to write these words.

The Lord has been present in my life today because:

1. Feeling the spirit in church and especially sacrament meeting. I felt the spirit strongly and He testified to me. That means I am still 'counted worthy to receive'! I am on the path and the spirit is in my life.

2. I had a Young Women's meeting tonight and it was so good for my soul to be around other women of God who have such a strong testimony of the gospel. We women need each other to buoy each other up.

3. A peaceful night with putting everyone to bed. The last few days have been hard. I have been short tempered. I have lost my temper. So tonight it was peaceful and I kept my cool. I am grateful for that and how quickly you feel asleep!

4. That your dad is not thousands of miles away! He is here in town and close. I am so grateful he is close.

5. I finished "Thomas Jefferson Education" tonight. I love the reminder that 10 years before the Founding Fathers were called upon to do the great things they did, they were just like you and me. They were working to get out of debt, mend broken hearts, getting through school, refinding careers... but they were being prepared for great things. The reminder that if I continually feed my soul with classics and words of God I will be prepared to do what the Lord would have me do with my mission on this earth.

6. I have a house that doesn't get flooded! There are many people in our neighborhood that had their houses flooded lately. I am grateful that we haven't had that issue!

7. We are all healthy. I have a friend whose husband is fighting brain cancer. She has no idea if she is

going to be able to spend her life with him or without him. I am grateful for amazing health in our family.

8. Kids who are smart. You are so smart that you crowd me with your requests a lot of times. All the things you want to do by yourselves and the trial and error of trying. But it is a blessing... a blessing for me to remember in the middle of the messes.

9. A reminder today that there are a lot of women who are lonely. There are a lot of mom's who are lonely and who wonder how they can do it all. The pressure we feel is deep... but it is worth it. I know that. I love hearing and knowing from other strong women of God when they struggle but they have the big picture and still move forward keeping the spirit in their lives.

I think that is it for tonight. There will be more tomorrow! I have the hand of God in my life. Everywhere. It is my choice to see it.

I love you,

Your Mom

Updates

Dear Kids,

So many things to update about. So I am going to do a list of things that I don't want to forget. Not a touchy-feelie post tonight.

• Gabe: Tonight in the car on the way home from dinner with your dad's family you said, "When I get bigger I am going to be a hero, like you dad! Because you are a hero because you are a daddy." It was so adorable. Then Talia said, "Yeah! Mom when I get bigger I am going to be a mom and do dishes!". LOL. It was pretty funny.
• Gabe: You have been processing death in the last couple of months because of me telling you my story about my first dog, Joyful. I will probably do a more detailed post about this one because of how much it has affected you. One night you asked me to tell you as story about my life when I was a kid. So I told you about getting Joyful, my first dog. I told you that we played together, she was my best friend, she had babies, and how much fun we had. Then I said, "Then she got hurt by a car and she had to go back to Heavenly Father." Immediately tears welled up in your eyes and you said, "Oh mom! were you so sad? Are you okay? Do you miss her? Is she okay with Heavenly Father?". After asking me lots of questions you were just crying and crying. I don't know if I could ever forget your face because of how tender you were about the whole thing. Then just last night you told me, "Mom, when we were at Papa and Mimi's house I prayed and prayed that Heavenly Father would let Joyful come back to you there, but she didn't come!". So then I got to process resurrection with you as well. You don't really like that program right now because you think that Joyful should be able to come back to me right now. You ask me to tell you the story of Joyful all the time. You have had to process that a lot. 
• Gabe: Just some cute things that you do. You call your dragon, "Tooplus" instead of "Toothless" (like the movie How to Train Your Dragon). Your dad thinks it is the cutest thing when you do that. You are vacuuming all by yourself right now. You are doing your laundry all by yourself, all I have to do is get it washed and in the dryer, you are doing everything else. You are still having a hard time socially, you get very emotionally wrapped up in everything and have a hard time just joking around with friends. It will be something you are going to have to learn a lot. you are taking a tumbling class. You are going to be starting soccer soon. And we are homeschooling you this year! That is going to be an adventure, especially for mom. You love the story of Joseph Smith. You are telling me about your dreams a lot. You are all about being a super hero. You are taking things apart and putting them back together a gain (like our blender that broke, you took it apart and then put it back together again). You love the minion game on Dad's phone. You are reading on a first grade reading level which is super fun!
• Talia: You are all about snuggling all the time. You tell me all the time that we need to snuggle so I can tickle your back. You are sometimes mauling me! There are times I worry that you feel rejected because there are times that it is soooooooo much touch and in my space that I have to take a breather. I am working on it, especially because there are times that you use it as a manipulation tool... so we will see how that goes. You love your dolls. You always want to do your nails and make up. Your hair is FINALLY growing out enough that we are able to do it in fun ways! I love that. You will never have a problem socially because you are the light of the party all the time. Everyone follows you and you know what you are all about in this world. Self confidence is something that you came with that is for sure. 
• Elijah: You are still screaming alot, but it is getting less and less all the time as you are learning how to communicate a bit. You are smiling like crazy and you are SO FUN right now. You are always running to me and your dad to give us hugs. You are so handsome! People comment all the time about how good looking you are. You are determined and you are not afraid to take up the spotlight. There are many times when you do something you don't even realize is funny, but then people will laugh and you and you will smile really big. Then you will do it again, and again and again and again and again (like gargling, spitting, throwing yourself on the ground, funny things with your tongue, spinning around and around...). Your first word was 'Oh wow!' on my birthday no less! That morning you said, 'Oh wow'! It was awesome. Other than that you are not really saying very much. You will try to say, "All done" but it really comes out 'Ah Dah!'. You are signing more and understanding more and more sign. But you understand everything that I say. You are very smart and know exactly what is going on around you and when you are being left out of something. If Talia and Gabe have something then you must have your own too!
• Brent is done with North Dakota. that was a very long adventure for our family. Many life changing things happened during the last 7 months of our lives that we will share with people some day. It has been interesting navigating my emotions and healing. But we are working through it and trying to love each other as much as we can. 
• I am homeschooling this year. I have been painting a lot the last couple of weeks, that has been healing as well. I am excited about homeschooling. I am more excited about homeschooling than anything for a while. I am nervous about keeping up on motherly things because homeschool has taken over my mind quite a bit. But I need to work on getting onto a very consistent schedule. I am going to work on devotional first and then also doing the Rusty and Rosy program. After that is down pat then we can add other things. 
• I am scaling back on other things quite a bit. I haven't been doing any new clients and I have been really focusing on my mom time. It is hard in a lot of ways and easier in a lot of ways too. I am totally letting go of providing and letting Brent take all that burden. Especially because we want to have another baby, I will be full time mommy for the next few years that is for sure, especially with homeschool in mind. I always have too many projects that arent' getting done. I want to focus on my mom projects to get done in all my 'spare time'. Like our photos books from the last 8 years of our lives!!! Ah! I am behind. 

I think that is pretty much all the updates. My heart is feeling more and more open to writing again, that is a good sign. So hopefully I will be writing more soon. I have really been following my feelings on writing and not forcing it so my heart has been able to really focus on healing and I am not putting pressure on myself with really anything else. 

Hopefully I will be writing soon.

Me

Per Request: Our Chore System

Dear Reader and Friends,

I have had quite a few people lately ask me about the chore system that I use with my kids and in our house. I actually hesitate posting things like this because I know that after going through a post such as what I am going to write, there are many mom's out there who will think things like...

"They are so amazing! I wish I could teach my kids that!" or...

"She is such a great mom, it looks so nice." or...

"There is no way that I could do something like this." or...

ANY OTHER comparing thoughts. So, before I get into this, I want to give a few disclaimers:

1. There are days that are really good when we do chores. The kids smile and they work hard. 

2. There are MORE days that are really hard and after a few minutes I have to just tell them we are going to have to wait until tomorrow to finish because I don't have the patience to see it through.

3. There are smiles... and there are complaints from my kids...but I AM SEEING the fruits of doing this with them. Which I will write later.

4. There are days I don't follow this schedule perfectly because... well, as you know, many days don't go according to plan... and that is okay. I just breathe deep and try again tomorrow when that happens.

5. I LOVE this system. Love it.

So PLEASE don't compare. I promise my kids aren't 100% bright-eyed and bushy-tailed while we do stuff like this. It takes a lot of patience for me to do this with them, so it is self-mastery work for me as well!

Okay, without further ado, here is the system. I will use pictures to go through it. 

ONE: I printed out a bunch of words and pictures with various chores on them to make "chore cards".

NO, I did not make these, I googled "chore charts" and found one online I liked and printed it (there are a lot out there, so you can find one that works for you). I made one copy for each child. Then I had them color them and we laminated them together. So the kids were very involved in the process.

TWO: We use these cards to decide on the chores we will do for the day... (and to be honest we will do this system 2-3 times a week, so we don't do this everyday. Our schedule is usually Monday, Thursday and Saturday). 

We have quite a few cards (as you can see in my hands).Most of the time we will choose between 3-6 chore cards depending on how motivated I am to follow through and teach! 

THREE: We will lay out the cards on the table first so the kids can see what we are going to do. They help me choose them. THEN, each chore will get either a nickel, dime or a quarter put above the card, the amount I will choose depending on how big the chore is. We will put the money above the card after we line out the chores on the table. I decided to have three jars the money goes into. Tithing/Charity (10%), Savings (20%) and Fun (70%). 

FOURTH: After lining everything out on the table, then we will do one chore at a time. I always put music on as well. As soon as the chore is finished I will have the kids run back to the table and put the money into the jar decided for that chore. Then they will take the card and put it in their envelope that I have on the wall. So we can immediately see which chores are done and which ones are left.

FIFTH: Then we repeat that until the chores are complete! I have been doing this system with the kids for about a year. They aren't tired of it yet! Here are some pictures of doing chores. 

I totally focus on teaching them how to clean the best. I am pretty picky about making sure they know how to do it right. They can do all these chores on their own now without me having to tell them how to do the little details. That took AWHILE to get to this point, but now that we are here, I love it!

WHAT THEIR MONEY IS FOR: They use their "fun" money jar for various things. Whenever we are at the store or running errands and they ask for candy, a little toy, or something fun, I just always get to say, "Well, we have to look in your fun jar and see if you have earned enough money to buy it." That is my automatic response whenever they ask for anything. They have already bought many things with their own money that they have earned. 

It is SO NICE to use this response with them! We have already had a lot of conversations about "their money they have earned because of working" and where it goes. We have talked about their tithing/charity jar and savings jars as well and what they are for.

So... there you have it! Our chore system. So far it is working great and I foresee it will work well until my kids are probably about seven or eight years old. 

I know as the kids get older we are going to need to adjust how we do chores, and what they will get paid for (I am NOT going to pay my kids for all the little chores they should do around the house as they get older. I will change it to be more complicated chores like cleaning the garage and stuff).

But, for now, it is working beautifully!

Everyday Choices = Marriage Miracles

Dear Kids,

I think in our day and age, celebrating marriage miracles is essential. Tonight I want to celebrate the second most important marriage in my life: My Mom and Dad. They reached their 40 year anniversary today!

40 years. 

Now that I have been married for longer than a couple of years and have experienced the immense up's and down's that marriage brings, I am just completely amazed at my parents. I know about 10% of what they have gone through in their lives together. The other 90% I am coming to understand and appreciate more as I live my life.

All the stories that make up the book of their life are becoming more and more alive to me. Everything they have experienced is becoming so much more tangible to me. The immense sacrifice they put into their parenting is just starting to blow me away as I get more and more into my life as a parent. The hard work and dedication they put into raising us with a relationship with the Lord and our Savior just astounds me. They are amazing. 

I am so grateful they make the choice everyday to stay together. I am so grateful they make the choice everyday to love each other. I am so grateful they make the choice everyday to wake up next to each other, kiss each other, hold each other's hand, walk together, cry together, support each other, laugh together, work together, overcome life's adversities together, read together, talk to each other, be kind to each other... everything the really makes up the everyday moments that eventually equal a life of 40 years together. 

The more I understand about relationships, the more I firmly believe it is about how we use the everyday moments. It is the choice in the everyday moments that will determine where we will be 40 years down the road. Everyday choices of love, kindness, forgiveness, applying the atonement, loving, working, and enjoying life. Then waking up the next morning and doing again... but not out of drudgery, but because of love and happiness. 

That is the biggest legacy I think my parents have left for me to enjoy. I see them loving their life. It is not perfect. There are so many things that are still very difficult. But they smile everyday. They make the choice to enjoy the day, no matter what it looks like. And because of that, they lives are full of happiness. They have a family who loves them. They have grandchildren that ask all the time about going to "Mimi and Papa's". 

I hope that in 40 years my family will love me just as much. I hope that I can do just a small amount with my life that they have done with theirs. I hope that I can, after 40 years of marriage, still look at my husband and smile, love him, kiss him and adore him like they do with each other. 

Yes, their marriage is a miracle. The everyday, simple but so immensely important, choices are what equal their miracle of 40 years together. I hope the world can be filled with more marriages that are miracles as well. 

I love you,

Your Mom