Dear Kids,
Time for a report on our life and what we have been up to for a couple of months. I think it is important to remember everything that is going on in our daily lives for our journal.
-We are in "Music Man". Your dad got the leading role as Harold Hill. We have practices every night through March. When the show starts it will be 4 nights a week. Gabe and Talia, you are in it with us! You are helping with the songs and you are so cute on stage :-).
-I started doing "Natural Medicine Mamas" with my mom at the beginning of the year (after Christmas). We are still getting all our stuff figured out, the marketing, the systems, the content, the products. We are taking it slow because both of us only have about 5-10 hours a week to work on it. We are figuring it out together, but having a good time!
-We joined a homeschooling co-op here in the town on Tuesdays. You are all LOVING it! You tell me about everything you are doing in your classes and you are loving the time with other teachers and friends.
-Gabe and Talia, you did NOT get into the Montessori Charter School here in town, so we have to decide what we are doing for your education next year. I am sure we will homeschool again, because besides the Montessori, nothing else is really appealing to us as a family. Gabe you will be in 1st grade next year and Talia you will be in kindergarten.
-Talia, you are doing the Rusty and Rosy program again this year and you are doing SO WELL. I got a call from a lady at the Waterford institute telling me how amazing your progress is. You are on the 1st grade reading level already! She was concerned about your emotional state to handle the mental leap. Which was interesting. We have been working on it together, and as long as I am there with you helping you, then you do really well. If I am not and you are left to do it on your own, then you have anxiety about it. I was glad to get some feedback from her about what physiologically is going on with your body and brain at this point in your life.
-Gabe, you are on an advanced 1st grade level with your reading and getting there with your Math. I know I need to work more with you on getting your thoughts onto paper. We are going to work on that this year. But you are doing SO WELL!
-Gabe, you are going to do t-ball again this year and Jake's dad is going to be your coach! We are so excited.
-Elijah, you just got over being sick... poor little thing! It was a pretty bad one this time around. You had a good fever and throwing up and everything. You are on the mend and doing much better. You are starting to talk! You are saying more and more things that we can understand.
-Our favorite thing that you all say is "resternaut" instead of "resteraunt". It is so cute when you all say it.
-Your favorite movie right now is Big Hero 6. You want to watch it all the time, lucky for you all, at play practices you get to watch it pretty often when there are times that everyone has to be quiet!
-I am in the young women's presidency - 2nd counselor. I love the Beehives, they are so great! I love having them with me in my life and everything they teach me.
-The book "I Can Do Hard Things With God" came out about a month ago, and I have a chapter in there on finances. It has been such a pleasure to see how my experience has been helping people. I am grateful for that.
-It is greenhouse season so we are selling more greenhouses in the last month! Yay! We love this time of year.
-Brent is still doing some work for Red Mountain. The House of Jump was having him work with them but they decided not to move forward with their business plans, so that stopped at the first of the year. Luckily, the Lord has been providing for us.
-Your dad and I are fasting every Sunday for our future. We have to get our long term finances and future figured out. We are going to keep fasting every Sunday for this until we receive the answers we are needing and looking for. Nothing has come yet, but we are going to keep on keeping on. We are praying and fasting for a vision of our future, for a vision of all of you and your futures, for the Lord to unfold to us and show us the way.
-My 20th reunion is coming up in June and somehow I got myself pulled in to be in charge of it. So we will see how that goes!
-There are family meetings, we are doing herb calls 2 times a month still, educating ourselves, starting family calls again with your dad's family, and keeping up with relationships there.
-We planted our garden just a little bit ago! There is more to plant, which I am going to do after I get off the computer. :-)
-I need to paint. I need some creative time. I really feel that. A LOT. I have been having a hard time with claustrophobia... and that means I need to get some creative energy out.
-I delivered a greenhouse to Idaho about a month ago, that was a fun spur of the moment trip with all of you.
-Then just the day in's and out's of life! We are invited to a lot of things and some things we say yes to and others we say no to. We are working on getting our house in order.
-I made a bunch more tinctures the other day. I have more to add to my medicine cabinet. I gave a presentation to a mom's group a couple weeks ago about natural medicine in their families. That was fun. I am working on the vision of my life and this feels like a part of it... especially because of the gift of healing.
Love you.
Your Mom
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Wandering Days & Brain Downtime
Dear Kids,
So today is a "Wandering Day".
I have a lot I need to catch up on. I look outside and there are seeds to be planted, weeds to be pulled, toys to be hosed off... I look at my house and there is laundry to be put away, clutter to be picked up, deep cleaning that needs to happen... I have business posts to follow up on, emails to write, books to read, content to formulate...
The problem is that I don't have any desire to do any of it.
For the last few weeks I have been ANXIOUSLY WAITING for a day when I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off so I could just "catch up". Now that I have a day that is low-key and I don't have any appointments or anything going on, I just can't make myself focus and get stuff done. I am just wandering around. Five minutes here, five minutes there.
I don't have any wise advice for days like this. I am pretty sure there are many others who have days like today. When there is a list of things to do but none of it gets done, even though you have the time. I feel like the only wisdom I can impart on days like today is that maybe the reason my brain can't focus on anything is because my brain needs a "Wandering Day" too.
Here is a great article that explains this much better than I can. It talks about why the brain needs downtime. There is scientific evidence of the needs to allow our brains and thoughts to slow down and "unclutter". I know I spend so much time with my brain ON, that when I have a day that I just can't focus on anything, it shows that I need a day of OFF.
There are many people who have told me they are jealous of my energy and getting so much done in a day. I have worried about that as a mom, especially for the different personalities that you all are. I know that you crave for me to just slow down and relax with you all a little bit more. We DO a lot together, but sometimes I wonder if I am filling your love buckets enough of just BEING together.
I love you all so much. I look at your faces and see you and my heart just melts. Remember as you grow and do more and more and more that it is okay to have a "Wandering Day" and just relax and unclutter a bit.
So here I go... I am turning off the computer (after posting this ;-).
I am going to just sit in the sun.
I am just going to breathe.
I am just going to BE.
I love you,
Your Mom
So today is a "Wandering Day".
I have a lot I need to catch up on. I look outside and there are seeds to be planted, weeds to be pulled, toys to be hosed off... I look at my house and there is laundry to be put away, clutter to be picked up, deep cleaning that needs to happen... I have business posts to follow up on, emails to write, books to read, content to formulate...
The problem is that I don't have any desire to do any of it.
For the last few weeks I have been ANXIOUSLY WAITING for a day when I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off so I could just "catch up". Now that I have a day that is low-key and I don't have any appointments or anything going on, I just can't make myself focus and get stuff done. I am just wandering around. Five minutes here, five minutes there.
I don't have any wise advice for days like this. I am pretty sure there are many others who have days like today. When there is a list of things to do but none of it gets done, even though you have the time. I feel like the only wisdom I can impart on days like today is that maybe the reason my brain can't focus on anything is because my brain needs a "Wandering Day" too.
Here is a great article that explains this much better than I can. It talks about why the brain needs downtime. There is scientific evidence of the needs to allow our brains and thoughts to slow down and "unclutter". I know I spend so much time with my brain ON, that when I have a day that I just can't focus on anything, it shows that I need a day of OFF.
There are many people who have told me they are jealous of my energy and getting so much done in a day. I have worried about that as a mom, especially for the different personalities that you all are. I know that you crave for me to just slow down and relax with you all a little bit more. We DO a lot together, but sometimes I wonder if I am filling your love buckets enough of just BEING together.
I love you all so much. I look at your faces and see you and my heart just melts. Remember as you grow and do more and more and more that it is okay to have a "Wandering Day" and just relax and unclutter a bit.
So here I go... I am turning off the computer (after posting this ;-).
I am going to just sit in the sun.
I am just going to breathe.
I am just going to BE.
I love you,
Your Mom
Monday, February 16, 2015
A Day Of Normal
Dear Kids,
I want to sit down and write something magical.
I want to write about something tragic.
I want to create poetry about something life altering.
I want to portray gut bursting laughter and jokes.
I want to touch a million people's hearts with something that only can seep out of my brain and heart.
But as I sit here all I can think of is just a normal day.
I got up. I went to the gym. Listened to a seminar. Then turned on blasting music. Sweated my guts out. Drove home. Prayed at the red light. Got home. Opened the door. Heard crying. Heard laughing. "Mommy! We are up!". Stepped on some legos and stuffed animals (clearly in the positions of some kind of war). Kissed hubby. Showered. Breakfast. "That's MY chair. Mom! Tell her to get OUT!".
Took a deep breath. Smiled. Intervention. Read scriptures. Read children's stories. Did a bit of school work. Went outside. Planned a garden. Tried to teach about gardening. "Mommy! I want to do it this way. This is my choice!". Took another deep breath. "Yes, can I please show you something that will help?".
Dug in the dirt. Planted some seeds. Six little hands and feet all around me. "I want some! It's my turn!". Loud outside voices. "Please stop yelling." Taking turns. Teaching about taking turns... for the 1,000th time this month... with a smile (possibly through gritted teeth). Watering seeds. Covering seeds. Shake time. Lunch time. Greenhouse sold.
Reading time. Nap time. "Mom! reekknelknfaoiksn!" in 2-year old language only mom understands and knows he means "more hugs". Give more hugs. Wraps kids in blankets. Six year old boys in and out of the house for play time. Business call. Business planning. Product decisions. Laughing with mom. Kissed hubby good bye. More laundry rotation. Finish dishes. Nap time done. Teach about putting dishes away. Kids in and out of the house. Play time. "STOP!" six year old not being respectful to friends. Intervention. Social teaching. Dirt clods hit house. Intervention. Crying from the tramp. Intervention. Hide and Seek. "Mom, you count we will all hide!". 1,2,3,4,5,6...... play time.
Afternoon sluggish time. Take more tea. Do more pick up. Teach more pick up. Open doors. Kids playing. Teaching two year old what the driveway is. Over and over again teach the boundary of "do not go in the street". He gets it! Four year old daughter crying from being left out of boy play. Intervention. Hugs. Barbies. Braiding hair. More six year old boys. Tempted to have them go to someone else's house. Remember it is a goal to have an open house to friends. It starts young. Calm myself down from screams. Embrace the chaos. "I want a home where friends are happy."
More mom things. Answer texts. Listen to voicemail. Return a call. Looking at schedule. Figuring out "Yes" things and "No" things for outside commitments. Time for dinner. Time for laundry rotation. Call in from playing. "But mom, I am not ready! No I don't want to come!". Intervention and giving choices. "Would you rather..." statement repeated for the 1000th time in the last 10 hours. Dinner time. Pick up time. Bath time. Reading time. Scripture time. Snuggle time.
All in bed. Tired mom time. Sit in the computer chair for 25 minutes scrolling pinterest, facebook, blogs... anything to separate my brain. Look up. More dishes. More laundry. "I need to write... what to write?". Child out of bed, "Mom I need more hugs." Kisses. More hugs. To bed again.
And here we are.
Nothing earth shattering. Nothing life changing. Just a day. A day of "Normal". Sometimes there are earth shattering days. Sometimes there are life changing moments. And 95% of the time there are just days of "Normal".
You know what? That is okay. Because it's the daily normal adding together that makes life magical.
I love you,
Your Mom
I want to sit down and write something magical.
I want to write about something tragic.
I want to create poetry about something life altering.
I want to portray gut bursting laughter and jokes.
I want to touch a million people's hearts with something that only can seep out of my brain and heart.
But as I sit here all I can think of is just a normal day.
I got up. I went to the gym. Listened to a seminar. Then turned on blasting music. Sweated my guts out. Drove home. Prayed at the red light. Got home. Opened the door. Heard crying. Heard laughing. "Mommy! We are up!". Stepped on some legos and stuffed animals (clearly in the positions of some kind of war). Kissed hubby. Showered. Breakfast. "That's MY chair. Mom! Tell her to get OUT!".
Took a deep breath. Smiled. Intervention. Read scriptures. Read children's stories. Did a bit of school work. Went outside. Planned a garden. Tried to teach about gardening. "Mommy! I want to do it this way. This is my choice!". Took another deep breath. "Yes, can I please show you something that will help?".
Dug in the dirt. Planted some seeds. Six little hands and feet all around me. "I want some! It's my turn!". Loud outside voices. "Please stop yelling." Taking turns. Teaching about taking turns... for the 1,000th time this month... with a smile (possibly through gritted teeth). Watering seeds. Covering seeds. Shake time. Lunch time. Greenhouse sold.
Reading time. Nap time. "Mom! reekknelknfaoiksn!" in 2-year old language only mom understands and knows he means "more hugs". Give more hugs. Wraps kids in blankets. Six year old boys in and out of the house for play time. Business call. Business planning. Product decisions. Laughing with mom. Kissed hubby good bye. More laundry rotation. Finish dishes. Nap time done. Teach about putting dishes away. Kids in and out of the house. Play time. "STOP!" six year old not being respectful to friends. Intervention. Social teaching. Dirt clods hit house. Intervention. Crying from the tramp. Intervention. Hide and Seek. "Mom, you count we will all hide!". 1,2,3,4,5,6...... play time.
Afternoon sluggish time. Take more tea. Do more pick up. Teach more pick up. Open doors. Kids playing. Teaching two year old what the driveway is. Over and over again teach the boundary of "do not go in the street". He gets it! Four year old daughter crying from being left out of boy play. Intervention. Hugs. Barbies. Braiding hair. More six year old boys. Tempted to have them go to someone else's house. Remember it is a goal to have an open house to friends. It starts young. Calm myself down from screams. Embrace the chaos. "I want a home where friends are happy."
More mom things. Answer texts. Listen to voicemail. Return a call. Looking at schedule. Figuring out "Yes" things and "No" things for outside commitments. Time for dinner. Time for laundry rotation. Call in from playing. "But mom, I am not ready! No I don't want to come!". Intervention and giving choices. "Would you rather..." statement repeated for the 1000th time in the last 10 hours. Dinner time. Pick up time. Bath time. Reading time. Scripture time. Snuggle time.
All in bed. Tired mom time. Sit in the computer chair for 25 minutes scrolling pinterest, facebook, blogs... anything to separate my brain. Look up. More dishes. More laundry. "I need to write... what to write?". Child out of bed, "Mom I need more hugs." Kisses. More hugs. To bed again.
And here we are.
Nothing earth shattering. Nothing life changing. Just a day. A day of "Normal". Sometimes there are earth shattering days. Sometimes there are life changing moments. And 95% of the time there are just days of "Normal".
You know what? That is okay. Because it's the daily normal adding together that makes life magical.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Heart Is Opening A Bit
Dear Kids,
So I have found myself pacing the floor all night tonight. I keep munching and keep looking for snacks. I just can't quite make myself go to bed yet.
And I think it is because I am supposed to write.
My heart has been closed to writing super personal things for almost a year. There are so many things that happened in my life and our marriage in this last year and I reacted by going into a cave. I stopped writing. I stopped painting. My clarity depleted. My emotional eating increased. My workouts suffered. My focus went away. It has felt like half my brain and heart has been gone and I have been slowly getting them back.
But I paced tonight and realized that I wanted to write ~ I wanted to finish my day by reviewing it, writing about it, journaling about it and rejoicing in it.
I feel like I have passed a major hurdle!
There is a friend of mine whose husband is dying. She is doing everything she can to record every little detail she can before she doesn't have him any more. There is another friend of mine who is going to have her first baby and she is doing the same thing, recording everything she can and remembering everything she can. There are many people who are going through some big things, life changing things...
This past year has been very life changing and life altering in many ways... and what if I didn't record it because I just want to forget about it? That doesn't help anyone. And there is no reason to shove things under the rug? But I want to preserve the confidence in my marriage as well and need to reserve information for just us and what we are doing in order to keep moving forward and "onward and upward".
I still don't have the answers to that because there are a lot of things in my soul that I want to really write about, and get to the breathless and gory details... not for me, but because I think there are so many other people out there that have "gory details" as well, and perhaps my details can help their details to feel a little bit better... because we can understand each other and buoy each other up with support and friendship.
I don't have the answer of how to write about this last year yet... but I do know that I want to start writing again. I want to start recording my thoughts and my feelings from my everyday experiences again. Where before I haven't been able to do that because there were everyday feelings and emotions that I didn't want to write down and remember forever. I wanted to forget about them and make them just go away into the eternal universe somewhere and get sucked up by the black hole that makes it all disappear.
That's okay. We will get there. For now, my heart is opening and I am more excited about sharing my daily lessons.
So... this is the beginning of a new week and there will be lots to write about.
I love you,
Your Mom
So I have found myself pacing the floor all night tonight. I keep munching and keep looking for snacks. I just can't quite make myself go to bed yet.
And I think it is because I am supposed to write.
My heart has been closed to writing super personal things for almost a year. There are so many things that happened in my life and our marriage in this last year and I reacted by going into a cave. I stopped writing. I stopped painting. My clarity depleted. My emotional eating increased. My workouts suffered. My focus went away. It has felt like half my brain and heart has been gone and I have been slowly getting them back.
But I paced tonight and realized that I wanted to write ~ I wanted to finish my day by reviewing it, writing about it, journaling about it and rejoicing in it.
I feel like I have passed a major hurdle!
There is a friend of mine whose husband is dying. She is doing everything she can to record every little detail she can before she doesn't have him any more. There is another friend of mine who is going to have her first baby and she is doing the same thing, recording everything she can and remembering everything she can. There are many people who are going through some big things, life changing things...
This past year has been very life changing and life altering in many ways... and what if I didn't record it because I just want to forget about it? That doesn't help anyone. And there is no reason to shove things under the rug? But I want to preserve the confidence in my marriage as well and need to reserve information for just us and what we are doing in order to keep moving forward and "onward and upward".
I still don't have the answers to that because there are a lot of things in my soul that I want to really write about, and get to the breathless and gory details... not for me, but because I think there are so many other people out there that have "gory details" as well, and perhaps my details can help their details to feel a little bit better... because we can understand each other and buoy each other up with support and friendship.
I don't have the answer of how to write about this last year yet... but I do know that I want to start writing again. I want to start recording my thoughts and my feelings from my everyday experiences again. Where before I haven't been able to do that because there were everyday feelings and emotions that I didn't want to write down and remember forever. I wanted to forget about them and make them just go away into the eternal universe somewhere and get sucked up by the black hole that makes it all disappear.
That's okay. We will get there. For now, my heart is opening and I am more excited about sharing my daily lessons.
So... this is the beginning of a new week and there will be lots to write about.
I love you,
Your Mom
Monday, January 19, 2015
Conflict Management Class In Practice
Dear Kids,
I decided to really take to heart the things I taught in my conflict management class over the weekend. I felt like something I could have done was give an example of a "Conflict Cleanse" and what that would look like.
So I tried it today. And let me say... the day went AMAZING. Seriously.
That isn't to say there weren't any fights. Because there were. But where they have gone out of control, today it was handled with such grace and care, because my heart was prepared for it and because of the spirit guiding me. So this is what today looked like:
1. I unfortunately didn't wake up with my alarm. Blah. However, I had prepared myself the night before to face the day with a smile. I was very realistic about kids crying and getting upset and I set my expectations at a very appropriate level of what to handle.
2. When I did get up, I greeted my kids with huge smiles and hugs. HUGE ones. On purpose I thought to myself, "I am so grateful to be their mom today!"
3. We went to make breakfast, and I prepared myself to always use the phrase "Would you rather..." when there was going to be fighting while the kids helped me. So I used it, I said, "Would you rather share the space with your sister or would you rather get down?".... "Would you rather take turns putting the flour in or would you rather go clean your room?"... "Would you rather obey and not touch _______ or would you rather lose the privilege of helping?". I prepared myself like CRAZY, that any time I was getting frustrated I would automatically see I was getting frustrated with a small performance, and I would use the "Would you rather" phrase in order to set the boundaries of behavior.
4. Any time I got irritated I used a soft answer and smiled. I mean a really soft answer. The kids listened better.
5. As soon as there was physical fighting then their time out's were immediately to do some physical NOT go sit on a chair. Example, "I see you decided to push your sister, that means you chose to go jump on the tramp for 10 minutes. I will set the timer. See you in 10!"
6. I did not stress myself out by thinking about everything I needed to get done. I have a list of things to do. I focused on my kids. I totally focused on loving them first. When they asked a question I would look them immediately in the eyes and get on their level. With my body I immediately let them know that what they were asking was more important than what I was doing. And you know what? It worked great! Their emotional needs were met so fast that they didn't need me so much and I still got stuff done.
7. When I treated them with respect they obeyed me immediately. I used the phrase, "Tell me about...." So if Gabe was getting frustrated and raising his voice, instead of telling him to stop I said, "Tell me about why you are frustrated." And I prepared myself to really LISTEN. REALLY listen. He could feel from my heart that I was focused on his worth, not on his performance, and because of that validation he calmed down immediately.
Those were a few things that happened today. I really hope I have another chance to teach this class again, and hopefully a lot because I really feel like it helped me and I hope I can help other people, especially moms, who have a hard time with this.
I love you,
Your Mom
I decided to really take to heart the things I taught in my conflict management class over the weekend. I felt like something I could have done was give an example of a "Conflict Cleanse" and what that would look like.
So I tried it today. And let me say... the day went AMAZING. Seriously.
That isn't to say there weren't any fights. Because there were. But where they have gone out of control, today it was handled with such grace and care, because my heart was prepared for it and because of the spirit guiding me. So this is what today looked like:
1. I unfortunately didn't wake up with my alarm. Blah. However, I had prepared myself the night before to face the day with a smile. I was very realistic about kids crying and getting upset and I set my expectations at a very appropriate level of what to handle.
2. When I did get up, I greeted my kids with huge smiles and hugs. HUGE ones. On purpose I thought to myself, "I am so grateful to be their mom today!"
3. We went to make breakfast, and I prepared myself to always use the phrase "Would you rather..." when there was going to be fighting while the kids helped me. So I used it, I said, "Would you rather share the space with your sister or would you rather get down?".... "Would you rather take turns putting the flour in or would you rather go clean your room?"... "Would you rather obey and not touch _______ or would you rather lose the privilege of helping?". I prepared myself like CRAZY, that any time I was getting frustrated I would automatically see I was getting frustrated with a small performance, and I would use the "Would you rather" phrase in order to set the boundaries of behavior.
4. Any time I got irritated I used a soft answer and smiled. I mean a really soft answer. The kids listened better.
5. As soon as there was physical fighting then their time out's were immediately to do some physical NOT go sit on a chair. Example, "I see you decided to push your sister, that means you chose to go jump on the tramp for 10 minutes. I will set the timer. See you in 10!"
6. I did not stress myself out by thinking about everything I needed to get done. I have a list of things to do. I focused on my kids. I totally focused on loving them first. When they asked a question I would look them immediately in the eyes and get on their level. With my body I immediately let them know that what they were asking was more important than what I was doing. And you know what? It worked great! Their emotional needs were met so fast that they didn't need me so much and I still got stuff done.
7. When I treated them with respect they obeyed me immediately. I used the phrase, "Tell me about...." So if Gabe was getting frustrated and raising his voice, instead of telling him to stop I said, "Tell me about why you are frustrated." And I prepared myself to really LISTEN. REALLY listen. He could feel from my heart that I was focused on his worth, not on his performance, and because of that validation he calmed down immediately.
Those were a few things that happened today. I really hope I have another chance to teach this class again, and hopefully a lot because I really feel like it helped me and I hope I can help other people, especially moms, who have a hard time with this.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Conflict Management Class Homeschooling Conference
Dear Kids,
I taught a conflict management class at the homeschooling conference yesterday. It was great experience for me to get back up in front of a small audience to teach about communication and conflict management. There were several things that went really well, and other things that I wish I had narrowed down for people there better. Each presentation I do reminds me of how much more I have to learn about teaching and passing information on in a very effective way!
I taught about the three worlds that are constantly interacting. I taught about the steps of conflict. The escalation of conflict. I taught about separating worth from performance. I taught about the physical responses of stress and why we feel like we can go from peaceful to snapping in .02 seconds.
I wish I would have prepared better for really good everyday examples of solving conflict, what it looks like, what to do in the exact moments of conflict, how to help our kids better... just the nitty gritty of everyday situations. I feel like I explained all the concepts really well, but I didn't have enough examples of application. I also feel like I should have written down a bunch of ideas of how to handle things. Activity ideas. I want to put together, for the next time I present, an example of what a week's schedule would look like if all you are focusing on is conflict management.
I will get better at presenting. I have to because the Lord wants me to be better at it so I can teach more and more people about his gospel. That is in my blessing that I will be bearing my testimony really often. So I want to be worthy of that calling and life's purpose. I just pray He will give me another opportunity to do this lesson again so I can get better and better at it!
I love you,
Your Mom
I taught a conflict management class at the homeschooling conference yesterday. It was great experience for me to get back up in front of a small audience to teach about communication and conflict management. There were several things that went really well, and other things that I wish I had narrowed down for people there better. Each presentation I do reminds me of how much more I have to learn about teaching and passing information on in a very effective way!
I taught about the three worlds that are constantly interacting. I taught about the steps of conflict. The escalation of conflict. I taught about separating worth from performance. I taught about the physical responses of stress and why we feel like we can go from peaceful to snapping in .02 seconds.
I wish I would have prepared better for really good everyday examples of solving conflict, what it looks like, what to do in the exact moments of conflict, how to help our kids better... just the nitty gritty of everyday situations. I feel like I explained all the concepts really well, but I didn't have enough examples of application. I also feel like I should have written down a bunch of ideas of how to handle things. Activity ideas. I want to put together, for the next time I present, an example of what a week's schedule would look like if all you are focusing on is conflict management.
I will get better at presenting. I have to because the Lord wants me to be better at it so I can teach more and more people about his gospel. That is in my blessing that I will be bearing my testimony really often. So I want to be worthy of that calling and life's purpose. I just pray He will give me another opportunity to do this lesson again so I can get better and better at it!
I love you,
Your Mom
Spirit Promptings For Homeschooling
Dear Kids,
I went to a homeschooling conference yesterday, my first one! And I also presented! That was fun. I learned so much, both from the classes I attended and from presenting.
A few notes on what the spirit REALLY guided me on:
-I am going to pray for a vision of YOU. Donna Goff highly suggested this in master planning. She said, "Pray for a vision of your children in the future and what adults you are really going to turn out. It will help you in your stamina and diligence in teaching. It will help you look past all there little annoying behaviors today because you have a vision of their future." I LOVE this suggestion.
-I felt highly prompted to really focus on childhood development and research the best activities for you RIGHT NOW. I was not inspired to do homeschooling to bring the public school system home. I was inspired because the Lord is going to educate you through my hands. I must understand better your development, what your body is doing, how it is doing it and aid you inside of discovering it.
-The other big inspiration is that we have to move more. We have been having a hard time with all three of you really getting on each other's nerves a lot and stressing each other out. That means that you have to MOVE MORE. At least 2+ hours of activity and movement each day.
-The other part of Donna's presentation that was so good for me was her recommendations of "Rhythms" in our day. This is like a word for schedules, but I like it better. She reminded me that you are all under 8 years old. I can't have accountability systems for you to "return and report" on because the Lord doesn't even require that of children under 8. What you require is hands on time with me. I must be there WITH you, showing you, guiding you and readjusting my expectations to know that is part of the energy output I am going to have to do everyday. I have wanted you all to be independent too early. I think that is why there has been behavior problems. You can't be independent yet. You aren't supposed to be.
-The other suggestion was "One spelling rule, math rule, science rule and grammar rule a week. That's it. One artist of the week, one music piece a week."
-Choose one chore to do with them until they get it as a habit. And walk through EVERY DETAIL in the exact order every time. Example: their room. Everyday when we attack their "Room Habit" we make bed, dirty clothes to laundry, pick up books, pick up legos, pick up dolls... etc. And do it in the same order each time. Then once they have the habit and they can do it themselves after 21 days of repetition the SAME way, move onto another chore.
Those were my take home thoughts of the conference!
I love you,
Your Mom
I went to a homeschooling conference yesterday, my first one! And I also presented! That was fun. I learned so much, both from the classes I attended and from presenting.
A few notes on what the spirit REALLY guided me on:
-I am going to pray for a vision of YOU. Donna Goff highly suggested this in master planning. She said, "Pray for a vision of your children in the future and what adults you are really going to turn out. It will help you in your stamina and diligence in teaching. It will help you look past all there little annoying behaviors today because you have a vision of their future." I LOVE this suggestion.
-I felt highly prompted to really focus on childhood development and research the best activities for you RIGHT NOW. I was not inspired to do homeschooling to bring the public school system home. I was inspired because the Lord is going to educate you through my hands. I must understand better your development, what your body is doing, how it is doing it and aid you inside of discovering it.
-The other big inspiration is that we have to move more. We have been having a hard time with all three of you really getting on each other's nerves a lot and stressing each other out. That means that you have to MOVE MORE. At least 2+ hours of activity and movement each day.
-The other part of Donna's presentation that was so good for me was her recommendations of "Rhythms" in our day. This is like a word for schedules, but I like it better. She reminded me that you are all under 8 years old. I can't have accountability systems for you to "return and report" on because the Lord doesn't even require that of children under 8. What you require is hands on time with me. I must be there WITH you, showing you, guiding you and readjusting my expectations to know that is part of the energy output I am going to have to do everyday. I have wanted you all to be independent too early. I think that is why there has been behavior problems. You can't be independent yet. You aren't supposed to be.
-The other suggestion was "One spelling rule, math rule, science rule and grammar rule a week. That's it. One artist of the week, one music piece a week."
-Choose one chore to do with them until they get it as a habit. And walk through EVERY DETAIL in the exact order every time. Example: their room. Everyday when we attack their "Room Habit" we make bed, dirty clothes to laundry, pick up books, pick up legos, pick up dolls... etc. And do it in the same order each time. Then once they have the habit and they can do it themselves after 21 days of repetition the SAME way, move onto another chore.
Those were my take home thoughts of the conference!
I love you,
Your Mom
2015 Word = SUCCESS
Dear Kids,
New Year. Another New Year. How did that happen so fast?
This last year has been a huge blur for me. Definitely the most trying year of the marriage of your dad and I. Satan has done his best to pit us against each other through some major sin and some major financial difficulties. But I am so happy to say that we have made it through. We made it through! Our relationship is still in tact and we fought for it - "like Lions" as the scriptures say.
Last year I chose the word "Vulnerable" as the theme of 2014. I wanted to be vulnerable in my heart, with my friends, with my professional pursuits, with everything. It is funny how I got exactly what I wanted, I understand vulnerability better than I ever have, but it didn't come the way I thought it was going to come. It came because of exposing major flaws in the most important relationship of my life. It came because of feeling more stress and pull in my marriage relationship than I ever thought. My heart is more vulnerable, more soft, more empathetic. I understand better than ever really what it means to be as vulnerable as possible to my Savior and having Him come in and save me. I get that now.
So I have been taking my careful and sweet time deciding on my theme for this year. Since I learned about vulnerability so deeply, I want to choose my theme right! I decided the word I want for 2015 is "Success". I want success in our lives. I want success in homeschooling. I want success in my relationships. I want success in our business pursuits. I want success in getting out of financial bondage. I want success! That is my word and theme this year.
I love you,
Your Mom
New Year. Another New Year. How did that happen so fast?
This last year has been a huge blur for me. Definitely the most trying year of the marriage of your dad and I. Satan has done his best to pit us against each other through some major sin and some major financial difficulties. But I am so happy to say that we have made it through. We made it through! Our relationship is still in tact and we fought for it - "like Lions" as the scriptures say.
Last year I chose the word "Vulnerable" as the theme of 2014. I wanted to be vulnerable in my heart, with my friends, with my professional pursuits, with everything. It is funny how I got exactly what I wanted, I understand vulnerability better than I ever have, but it didn't come the way I thought it was going to come. It came because of exposing major flaws in the most important relationship of my life. It came because of feeling more stress and pull in my marriage relationship than I ever thought. My heart is more vulnerable, more soft, more empathetic. I understand better than ever really what it means to be as vulnerable as possible to my Savior and having Him come in and save me. I get that now.
So I have been taking my careful and sweet time deciding on my theme for this year. Since I learned about vulnerability so deeply, I want to choose my theme right! I decided the word I want for 2015 is "Success". I want success in our lives. I want success in homeschooling. I want success in my relationships. I want success in our business pursuits. I want success in getting out of financial bondage. I want success! That is my word and theme this year.
I love you,
Your Mom
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Christmas Miracles
Dear Kids,
Christmas miracles. That has been the theme for us this year.
Iddy-Biddy back story: In the last 6-9 months there have been some big IRS issues that have come up in our family under the old property management business that we lost and other past transactions with a business that was started and failed from about 10 years ago. We are working currently with a professional to help us with everything, but needless to say it has been tight and stressful. We have experienced a lot of up's and down's financially that have stretched us quite a bit. I say stretched us... I should say has been molding us and putting us through yet another strong "Refiner's Fire" experience.
I am sure it won't be our last "Refiner's Fire". But we have really felt the Lord "lifting our burden to make it light". It has been difficult, but completely worthwhile because of how the Lord is teaching us to be Spiritually Centered and rely on Him and His Son.
Anyway - back to Christmas miracles. We ended up having a decrease in pay with a few things your dad has been doing. Because of how extremely tight we are, going without the littlest bit of cash flow sets us back A LOT and it takes so much to catch back up again.
We have been planning very simple gifts for all of you this year. What I can sew, what we can make and then saving up a little bit of things here and there for a couple of small fun things.
Well, the miracles started happening a couple weeks ago. My neighbor has a blog that she receives things to do reviews on. This time she got a bunch of toys for girls - just perfect for Talia's age. She called me and asked me if I would like a few of these things she got. I was thinking she had a couple of small little things. Oh no, not small. She brought a big box of a bunch of toys that totally covers Talia's Christmas.
I felt like I could help with cash flow by doing some massages. I put it out there and within a week I have had so many appointments with about 3-4 more massages pending. Usually finding clientelle again takes some time... not this time!
Just last week we had someone drop off a couple of jars full of coins to help us. The kids were so excited to see these jars of coins on our doorstep! They thought it was from one of Santa's elves.
Then today some really good friends came and took me shopping (Brenda and Ken Kenworthy). She told me the spirit whispered to her that we needed some help and support. I just cried. They bought us a bunch of fun things for the boys. I was so touched that the Lord would answer our prayers through such an amazing and blessed friendship. She and her husband have no idea about the details of what we have been trying to get through with the IRS stuff.
Then tonight our Bishop showed up on our doorstep and gave us a very generous cash donation from the people in our neighborhood. It will help us to buy some updated shoes and nice clothes for all three of you! Immediately after he left and I opened the letter, my knees hit the floor and I just started sobbing.
I am just so grateful for the Lord showering us with love. It is such an amazing blessing to feel His support and help. We have been very quiet about everything going on... we are not the kind of people to say anything to really anyone! But the Lord knows. He has showed me that faith filled prayers are real, that what goes around comes around, that He hears and helps and guides and lifts.
I have been very alone through other "Refiner's Fire" experiences, but the Lord is showering us with love and help with this one. It has lifted my burden and helped so much. It feels so amazingly good to know that there are angels helping, the spirit is whispering and most importantly that the people in our lives have noticed.
Christmas miracles are real! This all has been such a testimony of listening to the whispers of the spirit... because those whispers are, I believe ALL THE TIME, answers to someone's prayers!
I love you,
Your Mom
Christmas miracles. That has been the theme for us this year.
Iddy-Biddy back story: In the last 6-9 months there have been some big IRS issues that have come up in our family under the old property management business that we lost and other past transactions with a business that was started and failed from about 10 years ago. We are working currently with a professional to help us with everything, but needless to say it has been tight and stressful. We have experienced a lot of up's and down's financially that have stretched us quite a bit. I say stretched us... I should say has been molding us and putting us through yet another strong "Refiner's Fire" experience.
I am sure it won't be our last "Refiner's Fire". But we have really felt the Lord "lifting our burden to make it light". It has been difficult, but completely worthwhile because of how the Lord is teaching us to be Spiritually Centered and rely on Him and His Son.
Anyway - back to Christmas miracles. We ended up having a decrease in pay with a few things your dad has been doing. Because of how extremely tight we are, going without the littlest bit of cash flow sets us back A LOT and it takes so much to catch back up again.
We have been planning very simple gifts for all of you this year. What I can sew, what we can make and then saving up a little bit of things here and there for a couple of small fun things.
Well, the miracles started happening a couple weeks ago. My neighbor has a blog that she receives things to do reviews on. This time she got a bunch of toys for girls - just perfect for Talia's age. She called me and asked me if I would like a few of these things she got. I was thinking she had a couple of small little things. Oh no, not small. She brought a big box of a bunch of toys that totally covers Talia's Christmas.
I felt like I could help with cash flow by doing some massages. I put it out there and within a week I have had so many appointments with about 3-4 more massages pending. Usually finding clientelle again takes some time... not this time!
Just last week we had someone drop off a couple of jars full of coins to help us. The kids were so excited to see these jars of coins on our doorstep! They thought it was from one of Santa's elves.
Then today some really good friends came and took me shopping (Brenda and Ken Kenworthy). She told me the spirit whispered to her that we needed some help and support. I just cried. They bought us a bunch of fun things for the boys. I was so touched that the Lord would answer our prayers through such an amazing and blessed friendship. She and her husband have no idea about the details of what we have been trying to get through with the IRS stuff.Then tonight our Bishop showed up on our doorstep and gave us a very generous cash donation from the people in our neighborhood. It will help us to buy some updated shoes and nice clothes for all three of you! Immediately after he left and I opened the letter, my knees hit the floor and I just started sobbing.
I am just so grateful for the Lord showering us with love. It is such an amazing blessing to feel His support and help. We have been very quiet about everything going on... we are not the kind of people to say anything to really anyone! But the Lord knows. He has showed me that faith filled prayers are real, that what goes around comes around, that He hears and helps and guides and lifts.
I have been very alone through other "Refiner's Fire" experiences, but the Lord is showering us with love and help with this one. It has lifted my burden and helped so much. It feels so amazingly good to know that there are angels helping, the spirit is whispering and most importantly that the people in our lives have noticed.
Christmas miracles are real! This all has been such a testimony of listening to the whispers of the spirit... because those whispers are, I believe ALL THE TIME, answers to someone's prayers!
I love you,
Your Mom
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Elijah update
Dear Elijah,
So we have been working on words with you. We got into a very bad habit of letting you communicate through grunts and other types of noises and now that you are 2 years old there is some language learning for you to catch up on.
You are getting better and better everyday. I am making you say the beginning sounds of words and making you talk to me more instead of your grunts. I feel bad because there is so much work I did with the other two that I haven't done nearly as much with you because of how much my time is dividing up. I need to read to you more and spend more time with just you.
I am working on that. I also understand why the third child is the party animal. Every friend who comes over to play with Talia or Gabe ends up wanting to play with you instead. Your brother and sister want to just climb all over you all the time. I like to see how much your personality is coming out with your sense of humor. You have a GREAT sense of humor and you are going to be an amazing athlete. Your coordination is already super high.
You want to be involved in everything that is going on. You are always wanting to make sure you are part of what is happening and you know very well if you are being left out of something. Your dad really loves to play with you.
We are starting to get your screaming under control. I feel bad because I know one reason why you screamed so much as a baby is because of how frustrated I felt with you often. Looking back there were so many ways that I was completely frazzled and unfortunately you got the brunt of it. But we are building our relationship more and more in the last few months and I feel better about our relationship than I have felt for a while.
I love you so much,
Your Mom
So we have been working on words with you. We got into a very bad habit of letting you communicate through grunts and other types of noises and now that you are 2 years old there is some language learning for you to catch up on.
You are getting better and better everyday. I am making you say the beginning sounds of words and making you talk to me more instead of your grunts. I feel bad because there is so much work I did with the other two that I haven't done nearly as much with you because of how much my time is dividing up. I need to read to you more and spend more time with just you.
You want to be involved in everything that is going on. You are always wanting to make sure you are part of what is happening and you know very well if you are being left out of something. Your dad really loves to play with you.
We are starting to get your screaming under control. I feel bad because I know one reason why you screamed so much as a baby is because of how frustrated I felt with you often. Looking back there were so many ways that I was completely frazzled and unfortunately you got the brunt of it. But we are building our relationship more and more in the last few months and I feel better about our relationship than I have felt for a while.
I love you so much,
Your Mom
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