Dear Kids,
Sometimes I am just more irritated than other times. I wish I could put a finger on why or what happens. Sometimes I know exactly when the irritation starts, and when I allow it to expand and continue. Sometimes I can immediately stop it and take control. Sometimes it just escalates and I feel irritated about everything that is happening around me.
This is one of my biggest challenges as a mother.
It was just a hard day today, for not really any specific reason. I was more on edge... and mother is the heart of the home. When I am irritated, it goes down to everyone around. I didn't have a blow up at any point. I didn't get really upset or yell. But I just was irritated, A LOT.
Hormones... pregnancy. Yep, I will blame it on pregnancy.
But in reality, I can't blame it on anything but understanding that when I am irritated I am choosing to be that way. I am choosing to be irritated and stay in that space.
I know there are proactive ways of getting around it. I know that if I were to go takes certain herbs it would help a lot. I know that I need to go take a break and breath a little bit. I know that doing small things to calm down my irritation speaks volumes to the inside of my body.
But did I choose to do any of that today? Nope. Just kept going.
I think we all have those days though. Sometimes we are more proactive than other times. Most of the time the key is to NOT repeat it again tomorrow. Break the problem so that it doesn't over take two days. Then the irritation has only conquered one day and I can take over better tomorrow.
So tomorrow... here is what I am going to do. Get up and get ready to be at the gym at a reasonable hour. Go swimming with a friend. Smile. Laugh. Spread smiling and laughter to my kids. Have family home evening. Clean my house. Pretty simple day. But I will choose to make strides inside of my spiritual focus. I will use the enticements around me for my spiritual growth. The enticements being the little irritations that happened today.
So there we have it. Just try to be a little better tomorrow.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Update Post With A List
Dear Kids,
It's hard to write something really emotionally amazing when all of a sudden I haven't written for three months and there is so much to catch up on. I suppose the emotional tugging posts will have to wait until the catch up is finished!
When I have to catch up it is always easier to just write a list of everything that has happened. So that's what this post is going to look like. A list of events:
-Our family is expecting another baby! We don't know what it is yet, we will get an ultrasound in a couple weeks and find out. You are all so excited about it and you are looking at my tummy everyday and saying things like, "I think your tummy is a little bigger today mom!". It's pretty adorable. We have been talking about the whole process a lot and trying to do our best to be as honest and open about it as is age appropriate.
-Your Uncle Greg Barton died at the end of March, on Easter Sunday actually. It was a really hard situation because their family was struggling being and staying together anyway, and divorce was on the way. There is a lot of speculation about the motivation of his death. It could have been an accidental overdose, or "on purpose" ... only the Lord knows his heart. I have a lot of personal feelings about the whole situation, but those are my own and not necessarily fact. All the cousins are in different homes for the summer this year because Janet has been really struggling to stay up with life. We weren't able to have any of the cousins because my energy with this pregnancy has been HORRIBLE, and keeping up with just simple things has been a chore. We shall see what the whole situation will look like at the end of the summer. I hope that Janet chooses a healthier lifestyle than she is right now, especially during grieving recovery... but only she is in charge of that. Your dad and I haven't been involved a lot, for better or for worse. We shall see.
-Your dad planned the whole funeral. He was amazing about it and he did so many things that probably only I really know about with the craziness of it all. It was an intense week getting it all taken care of, but he really stepped up and did everything in his power to make it as good of an experience as possible for Greg's kids. He was buried at a military cemetery, which was huge and will be an amazing memory for his children.
-We went to Idaho for Easter and we were there for a little while because of what happened with Greg, before heading to Utah, It's funny, but the more drama has taken place on your dad's side of the family, the more the spirit has been pushing me to build stronger relationships with my own siblings. Every time I have tried to feel what I need to do for his family or any situation that comes up, I feel the push to build relationships with my own siblings first. Every time I have felt that, and so that is what I have been focusing on. I don't know exactly why, if anything is coming up, or if it is just because that is where my stewardship really needs to lie, but I have been following that inkling and impression. It has been a little hard, because I do feel a distance from his family, which usually I haven't felt. But that's okay, my focus is not supposed to be there right now. I am choosing to follow what the spirit is leading me to do.
-I think I wrote you about the cruise your dad and I went on at the beginning of February. That was just awesome. End of story!
-Gabriel, you finished out this school year with Mrs. Crouch. She has been an amazing fit for you as a teacher and as a mentor, it's been exactly what you have needed this year and I am so grateful for it. You have learned so much, there are still some things that need rounded out with your education at this point, but really I'm not at all concerned about it. It will get there. Your character is changing all the time to be more mature and understanding of free agency, especially with your eighth birthday coming up. It is a new phase of parenting, that is for sure. We are trying to figure it out and work around what it all means. But you are a good kid who works hard. You have been in tumbling this whole year and loving that. You went to some soccer tryouts, but we together decided you are going to try different sports this fall. You are doing a basketball camp and a rock climbing camp in June, that I think you will really like. You are discovering more talents all the time. We will get you going on piano this fall. And your reading is out of this world amazing. You are doing amazing with reading. I love you.
-Natalia, you had an end of year dance performance that you had a blast at. You love the stage and love performing. We have been trying to think of a few different ways to expand on that talent, we will get there, after all, you are only almost six years old! We have time. You will start piano this fall, and I think you will really like that. It will help you a lot to get going on an instrument. You have been VERY helpful lately. We have been getting along a lot better and I am so grateful for that. I am trying to fill your love buckets as much as possible, it is time consuming, but that is my job right? You are responding and it is working well. I am learning more and more about parenting so many different personalities that is for sure! You are going to start the Montessori school this fall and you can't wait for that! You are so excited. and I am excited for you! You have been playing with Laela a lot this last little while (Steve and Karina Palmer's daughter) and you guys have a lot of fun together. We are trying to figure out how you are so aware socially at such a young age, a strength and a weakness all at the same time!
-Elijah, you are starting to push every boundary possible the last little bit. You and Talia have switched places with "hard" inside of parenting. Your boundary pushing has been REALLY strong. We will get there, but it is tough a lot of days and exhausting! But you are 3 1/2 and so you are figuring out a different stage of life, that is for sure. When you aren't pushing boundaries or throwing fits, you are actually really fun to be around. You are discovering your sense of humor more and more, you are also discovering your free agency more and more. We will make it through... hopefully!
-We have been reading the "Narnia" books together as a family. We just finished "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe", and will be starting the next book this week. It has been fun watching you discover a story through reading and I am grateful for it! We need to get more in the habit of reading like that, and this is a great start.
-Your dad's work schedule has been up and down and very demanding, but started getting back on track and regular this last week. He is getting impatient to find something else that can be more independent with making money. I am grateful that he is willing to keep this job until we can slowly move into something else. We will hopefully be able to make the transition in a healthy and smart financial way. It has been such a blessing to have this job. SUCH a blessing. NO complaints.
-We have a good garden this year. We've been working on this quite a bit this year.
-I have been napping more than I think I ever have my entire life this pregnancy... it actually is the same amount of sleep that I had to get during the day with all my newborns. I am having to learn to take it slower than normal and to be okay with that. It has been actually a challenge because it just isn't my personality, but it's a sliver of time in my life. Plus it helps me to take it slower to really "see" my kids more and better. So that is a blessing inside of it all.
I think that is it for the "list" update!
Love you,
Your Mom
It's hard to write something really emotionally amazing when all of a sudden I haven't written for three months and there is so much to catch up on. I suppose the emotional tugging posts will have to wait until the catch up is finished!
When I have to catch up it is always easier to just write a list of everything that has happened. So that's what this post is going to look like. A list of events:
-Our family is expecting another baby! We don't know what it is yet, we will get an ultrasound in a couple weeks and find out. You are all so excited about it and you are looking at my tummy everyday and saying things like, "I think your tummy is a little bigger today mom!". It's pretty adorable. We have been talking about the whole process a lot and trying to do our best to be as honest and open about it as is age appropriate.
-Your Uncle Greg Barton died at the end of March, on Easter Sunday actually. It was a really hard situation because their family was struggling being and staying together anyway, and divorce was on the way. There is a lot of speculation about the motivation of his death. It could have been an accidental overdose, or "on purpose" ... only the Lord knows his heart. I have a lot of personal feelings about the whole situation, but those are my own and not necessarily fact. All the cousins are in different homes for the summer this year because Janet has been really struggling to stay up with life. We weren't able to have any of the cousins because my energy with this pregnancy has been HORRIBLE, and keeping up with just simple things has been a chore. We shall see what the whole situation will look like at the end of the summer. I hope that Janet chooses a healthier lifestyle than she is right now, especially during grieving recovery... but only she is in charge of that. Your dad and I haven't been involved a lot, for better or for worse. We shall see.
-Your dad planned the whole funeral. He was amazing about it and he did so many things that probably only I really know about with the craziness of it all. It was an intense week getting it all taken care of, but he really stepped up and did everything in his power to make it as good of an experience as possible for Greg's kids. He was buried at a military cemetery, which was huge and will be an amazing memory for his children.
-We went to Idaho for Easter and we were there for a little while because of what happened with Greg, before heading to Utah, It's funny, but the more drama has taken place on your dad's side of the family, the more the spirit has been pushing me to build stronger relationships with my own siblings. Every time I have tried to feel what I need to do for his family or any situation that comes up, I feel the push to build relationships with my own siblings first. Every time I have felt that, and so that is what I have been focusing on. I don't know exactly why, if anything is coming up, or if it is just because that is where my stewardship really needs to lie, but I have been following that inkling and impression. It has been a little hard, because I do feel a distance from his family, which usually I haven't felt. But that's okay, my focus is not supposed to be there right now. I am choosing to follow what the spirit is leading me to do.
-I think I wrote you about the cruise your dad and I went on at the beginning of February. That was just awesome. End of story!
-Gabriel, you finished out this school year with Mrs. Crouch. She has been an amazing fit for you as a teacher and as a mentor, it's been exactly what you have needed this year and I am so grateful for it. You have learned so much, there are still some things that need rounded out with your education at this point, but really I'm not at all concerned about it. It will get there. Your character is changing all the time to be more mature and understanding of free agency, especially with your eighth birthday coming up. It is a new phase of parenting, that is for sure. We are trying to figure it out and work around what it all means. But you are a good kid who works hard. You have been in tumbling this whole year and loving that. You went to some soccer tryouts, but we together decided you are going to try different sports this fall. You are doing a basketball camp and a rock climbing camp in June, that I think you will really like. You are discovering more talents all the time. We will get you going on piano this fall. And your reading is out of this world amazing. You are doing amazing with reading. I love you.
-Natalia, you had an end of year dance performance that you had a blast at. You love the stage and love performing. We have been trying to think of a few different ways to expand on that talent, we will get there, after all, you are only almost six years old! We have time. You will start piano this fall, and I think you will really like that. It will help you a lot to get going on an instrument. You have been VERY helpful lately. We have been getting along a lot better and I am so grateful for that. I am trying to fill your love buckets as much as possible, it is time consuming, but that is my job right? You are responding and it is working well. I am learning more and more about parenting so many different personalities that is for sure! You are going to start the Montessori school this fall and you can't wait for that! You are so excited. and I am excited for you! You have been playing with Laela a lot this last little while (Steve and Karina Palmer's daughter) and you guys have a lot of fun together. We are trying to figure out how you are so aware socially at such a young age, a strength and a weakness all at the same time!
-Elijah, you are starting to push every boundary possible the last little bit. You and Talia have switched places with "hard" inside of parenting. Your boundary pushing has been REALLY strong. We will get there, but it is tough a lot of days and exhausting! But you are 3 1/2 and so you are figuring out a different stage of life, that is for sure. When you aren't pushing boundaries or throwing fits, you are actually really fun to be around. You are discovering your sense of humor more and more, you are also discovering your free agency more and more. We will make it through... hopefully!
-We have been reading the "Narnia" books together as a family. We just finished "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe", and will be starting the next book this week. It has been fun watching you discover a story through reading and I am grateful for it! We need to get more in the habit of reading like that, and this is a great start.
-Your dad's work schedule has been up and down and very demanding, but started getting back on track and regular this last week. He is getting impatient to find something else that can be more independent with making money. I am grateful that he is willing to keep this job until we can slowly move into something else. We will hopefully be able to make the transition in a healthy and smart financial way. It has been such a blessing to have this job. SUCH a blessing. NO complaints.
-We have a good garden this year. We've been working on this quite a bit this year.
-I have been napping more than I think I ever have my entire life this pregnancy... it actually is the same amount of sleep that I had to get during the day with all my newborns. I am having to learn to take it slower than normal and to be okay with that. It has been actually a challenge because it just isn't my personality, but it's a sliver of time in my life. Plus it helps me to take it slower to really "see" my kids more and better. So that is a blessing inside of it all.
I think that is it for the "list" update!
Love you,
Your Mom
Monday, February 15, 2016
Thoughts on Elijah
Dear Elijah,
You are a strong headed little kid. I think that is all I have to say about that.
But you are also HILARIOUS. You are going to be one of those people that are just funny. You say things that are so funny and your comedic timing is already amazing. You are coordinated as well.
I am so grateful you are past the screaming stages. I thought for a few years that you were going to put me in the crazy bin because of how much you screamed over EVERYTHING. When you were happy, you screamed. When you were sad, you screamed. When you wanted something, you screamed. I am just so grateful we are past all of THAT.
You are very strong willed. You want to do everything by yourself. But the cool part about it is that you are also VERY capable. You are very coordinated and so you can do a lot of things by yourself. But it's funny the things you don't want to do by yourself, one of them being potty trained. You want NOTHING to do with it. So we are going to wait another couple months and see how you are doing with it. Your dad is ready for you to be potty trained, but I don't want a major fight with you about it, so we are going to wait a couple months. No rush.
You also want to be the leader wherever we go. You want to open all the doors and be the one helping with everything. You and your sister but heads with EVERYTHING. You are either playing like best friends, or you are tearing each other's hair out, there is no in between.
Your talking is getting better and better. We still have to practice quite a few sounds and things, but you will get there.
I love you,
Your Mom
You are a strong headed little kid. I think that is all I have to say about that.
But you are also HILARIOUS. You are going to be one of those people that are just funny. You say things that are so funny and your comedic timing is already amazing. You are coordinated as well.
I am so grateful you are past the screaming stages. I thought for a few years that you were going to put me in the crazy bin because of how much you screamed over EVERYTHING. When you were happy, you screamed. When you were sad, you screamed. When you wanted something, you screamed. I am just so grateful we are past all of THAT.
You are very strong willed. You want to do everything by yourself. But the cool part about it is that you are also VERY capable. You are very coordinated and so you can do a lot of things by yourself. But it's funny the things you don't want to do by yourself, one of them being potty trained. You want NOTHING to do with it. So we are going to wait another couple months and see how you are doing with it. Your dad is ready for you to be potty trained, but I don't want a major fight with you about it, so we are going to wait a couple months. No rush.
You also want to be the leader wherever we go. You want to open all the doors and be the one helping with everything. You and your sister but heads with EVERYTHING. You are either playing like best friends, or you are tearing each other's hair out, there is no in between.
Your talking is getting better and better. We still have to practice quite a few sounds and things, but you will get there.
I love you,
Your Mom
Thoughts on Gabe
Dear Gabriel,
Your mind is amazing to me lately. This last 6 months and for the next 6 months I am witnessing one of the most fascinating developments... getting to the accountability age.
Your understanding of right and wrong has sky-rocketed. Your ability to help me has done the same thing. Your ability to read, to understand, your mind working... they have all just sky-rocketed. It's all part of reaching the accountability age.
I have wanted to witness this since having children and I am soaking it up. Your ability to control your emotions, so understand how to handle situations, to see when there needs to be help. your ability to work... all of it.
It's amazing to see. The last 2 months you have insisted on wearing a suit to church, and you don't want a church bag anymore because you are "too old for it." You only want to bring a book of scripture to read and that's it. You are focusing on the scripture stories like crazy and you are just gobbling them up.
Your patience with your siblings has increased. Your awareness of how you can help me has doubled. This is a magic period of your life, and I hope you soak it in like crazy... and I want to do that same.
We are going to be getting to those ages that are going to be hard in the next 10 years. I just pray and hope that I can give you the foundations you need, with your dad, and then you can take it from there with the Lord's help.
I love you,
Your Mom
Your mind is amazing to me lately. This last 6 months and for the next 6 months I am witnessing one of the most fascinating developments... getting to the accountability age.
Your understanding of right and wrong has sky-rocketed. Your ability to help me has done the same thing. Your ability to read, to understand, your mind working... they have all just sky-rocketed. It's all part of reaching the accountability age.
I have wanted to witness this since having children and I am soaking it up. Your ability to control your emotions, so understand how to handle situations, to see when there needs to be help. your ability to work... all of it.
It's amazing to see. The last 2 months you have insisted on wearing a suit to church, and you don't want a church bag anymore because you are "too old for it." You only want to bring a book of scripture to read and that's it. You are focusing on the scripture stories like crazy and you are just gobbling them up.
Your patience with your siblings has increased. Your awareness of how you can help me has doubled. This is a magic period of your life, and I hope you soak it in like crazy... and I want to do that same.
We are going to be getting to those ages that are going to be hard in the next 10 years. I just pray and hope that I can give you the foundations you need, with your dad, and then you can take it from there with the Lord's help.
I love you,
Your Mom
Thoughts on Talia
Dear Natalia,
You have been pretty hard lately. You have been sneaking stuff and lying more than is okay.
It has really concerned me a lot. A LOT.
But after having a break away from my daily interactions with you I can see that one reason for this is because you are afraid of my reactions and so you are doing things in order to get the best reaction from me.
I need to apologize to you for this, and I hope that I can help to change this pattern. You have a very demanding personality. VERY demanding. You want what you want from me RIGHT NOW all the time, every time. I really try hard to make sure I am not putting you off, but I have to set my boundaries often with you that you have to wait. You must learn how to be patient and wait.
The part I have to work on is making sure to separate your worth from your performance while you are doing "actions" that are pretty hard to get a long with. Your worth is perfect, I want to make sure you feel that from me. You can get me more riled up in my heart faster than anyone else right now, and it's because I am wrapping my emotions around you and how you reaction and what you want and getting involved in your arguments.
I am working on it and I love you through it, with patience and the spirit.
I love you fiercely, I hope you know that always. We will get this figured out, then move onto something else that will refine both of us.
I love you,
Your Mom
You have been pretty hard lately. You have been sneaking stuff and lying more than is okay.
It has really concerned me a lot. A LOT.
But after having a break away from my daily interactions with you I can see that one reason for this is because you are afraid of my reactions and so you are doing things in order to get the best reaction from me.
I need to apologize to you for this, and I hope that I can help to change this pattern. You have a very demanding personality. VERY demanding. You want what you want from me RIGHT NOW all the time, every time. I really try hard to make sure I am not putting you off, but I have to set my boundaries often with you that you have to wait. You must learn how to be patient and wait.
The part I have to work on is making sure to separate your worth from your performance while you are doing "actions" that are pretty hard to get a long with. Your worth is perfect, I want to make sure you feel that from me. You can get me more riled up in my heart faster than anyone else right now, and it's because I am wrapping my emotions around you and how you reaction and what you want and getting involved in your arguments.
I am working on it and I love you through it, with patience and the spirit.
I love you fiercely, I hope you know that always. We will get this figured out, then move onto something else that will refine both of us.
I love you,
Your Mom
Faith In My Kids
Dear Kids,
There is so much going on in the world right now. And all of it reminds me of the last portion of the Book of Mormon when the Gadianton Robbers are controlling the land through murder, lying and secret combinations. I can't even really watch anything that is happening in DC any more because energetically and spiritually I can pinpoint exactly what is happening. There are so many secret combinations it is unbelievable. We put the Nephites to shame that is for sure.
BUT, I have to remind myself that this is all following the Lord's plan. HE is in charge, not the deceivers and liars in the government. HE is in charge. Ultimately everything is helping the world be ready for Christ's Second Coming. And so I focus on Zion. I focus on the gospel. I focus on spreading the light of Christ, because that is the only answer.
And I think to myself, "The only thing I have control over is myself, my attitudes and my reactions to life. I have control over raising my family and teaching my kids as much as I possibly can while I have them, then turn them over to the Lord."
Sometimes I am very afraid for you, my children, how you are going to stand it, how you are going to withstand everything that will be thrown at you. I am reminded of when we were pregnant with Gabe and I was thinking, "How are our kids going to handle this world?". Your dad and I went out to dinner with a couple in our ward that were rock solid in the gospel and they raised kids that were just amazing. I told them my concerns, and my fears. Then this woman looked me straight in the eye and said, "You know, there are times when I feel the same way. But then I have to remember that they chose to come at this time, and the Lord had faith in them to come at this time, so why shouldn't I? Have faith that the Lord has faith in your kids. He prepared them, just turn them over to Him."
I love that and I remember it often. He had faith in you to send you at this time, so why shouldn't I?
I love you, I have faith in you. I pray that you are getting the foundation that you need with the missions you have to fulfill.
I love you,
Love,
Your Mom
There is so much going on in the world right now. And all of it reminds me of the last portion of the Book of Mormon when the Gadianton Robbers are controlling the land through murder, lying and secret combinations. I can't even really watch anything that is happening in DC any more because energetically and spiritually I can pinpoint exactly what is happening. There are so many secret combinations it is unbelievable. We put the Nephites to shame that is for sure.
BUT, I have to remind myself that this is all following the Lord's plan. HE is in charge, not the deceivers and liars in the government. HE is in charge. Ultimately everything is helping the world be ready for Christ's Second Coming. And so I focus on Zion. I focus on the gospel. I focus on spreading the light of Christ, because that is the only answer.
And I think to myself, "The only thing I have control over is myself, my attitudes and my reactions to life. I have control over raising my family and teaching my kids as much as I possibly can while I have them, then turn them over to the Lord."
Sometimes I am very afraid for you, my children, how you are going to stand it, how you are going to withstand everything that will be thrown at you. I am reminded of when we were pregnant with Gabe and I was thinking, "How are our kids going to handle this world?". Your dad and I went out to dinner with a couple in our ward that were rock solid in the gospel and they raised kids that were just amazing. I told them my concerns, and my fears. Then this woman looked me straight in the eye and said, "You know, there are times when I feel the same way. But then I have to remember that they chose to come at this time, and the Lord had faith in them to come at this time, so why shouldn't I? Have faith that the Lord has faith in your kids. He prepared them, just turn them over to Him."
I love that and I remember it often. He had faith in you to send you at this time, so why shouldn't I?
I love you, I have faith in you. I pray that you are getting the foundation that you need with the missions you have to fulfill.
I love you,
Love,
Your Mom
Mom and Dad Traveling Together
Dear Kids,
We just got back from a cruise. Mom and Dad... we went on a cruise and were gone by ourselves for FIVE WHOLE DAYS all by ourselves.
Can I just tell you how amazing it was to be able to rejuvenate our relationship like that? I advocate it for every couple. I had one of my church leaders tell me once that the key to keeping a spark in your relationship (so you don't forget you are crazy about each other and forever lovers) is to have one night a week together, one day a month and one week a year.
I BELIEVE this so much. Your dad and I have gone on over-nighters a few times, but being able to be gone together for so many days in a row was just magical. I remembered why I fell in love with him! I knew why and remembered why BEFORE we went of course, but when we are able to be together like that and have no distractions from each other, it is just amazing and truly magical how it helps.
It also really helped me in my energy with you. I missed you guys like crazy and I just kept thinking about how grateful I am for each of you. I am so grateful for your part in our family and how much you teach me all the time. I am so grateful that I am your mother.
We made a goal that we are going to be rejuvenating our relationship more on a regular basis. This is something that I didn't see my parents doing when I was growing up. I know there are lots of reasons why, especially financial. We haven't been able to do this because financially we are just at the point where we had some extra bonus money to be able to go. But I am so grateful that we went. I thought for a long time about if we should use the money for something with preparedness, or something with our home, or debt... there are plenty of things we could have applied the money to. BUT, looking back I am so grateful that we created the memories together instead of using the money for something else. Memories like this are priceless and I want to be making memories together!
We also decided we want to do "Family Money Making Projects" to earn money to go on family vacations together more often. Up to this point we have used Idaho as our family get aways, but it's time to branch out and do more than that. We have talked about a few options of projects, but haven't decided quite what to do first.
We are also going to be moving soon. We need to go to a different house because the house we are in is going to be put back on the market. Which is good because it is going to push us to move to a better home and expand our stewardships a bit.
I love you so much. I am so grateful for our family.
Love,
Your Mom
We just got back from a cruise. Mom and Dad... we went on a cruise and were gone by ourselves for FIVE WHOLE DAYS all by ourselves.
Can I just tell you how amazing it was to be able to rejuvenate our relationship like that? I advocate it for every couple. I had one of my church leaders tell me once that the key to keeping a spark in your relationship (so you don't forget you are crazy about each other and forever lovers) is to have one night a week together, one day a month and one week a year.
I BELIEVE this so much. Your dad and I have gone on over-nighters a few times, but being able to be gone together for so many days in a row was just magical. I remembered why I fell in love with him! I knew why and remembered why BEFORE we went of course, but when we are able to be together like that and have no distractions from each other, it is just amazing and truly magical how it helps.
It also really helped me in my energy with you. I missed you guys like crazy and I just kept thinking about how grateful I am for each of you. I am so grateful for your part in our family and how much you teach me all the time. I am so grateful that I am your mother.
We made a goal that we are going to be rejuvenating our relationship more on a regular basis. This is something that I didn't see my parents doing when I was growing up. I know there are lots of reasons why, especially financial. We haven't been able to do this because financially we are just at the point where we had some extra bonus money to be able to go. But I am so grateful that we went. I thought for a long time about if we should use the money for something with preparedness, or something with our home, or debt... there are plenty of things we could have applied the money to. BUT, looking back I am so grateful that we created the memories together instead of using the money for something else. Memories like this are priceless and I want to be making memories together!
We also decided we want to do "Family Money Making Projects" to earn money to go on family vacations together more often. Up to this point we have used Idaho as our family get aways, but it's time to branch out and do more than that. We have talked about a few options of projects, but haven't decided quite what to do first.
We are also going to be moving soon. We need to go to a different house because the house we are in is going to be put back on the market. Which is good because it is going to push us to move to a better home and expand our stewardships a bit.
I love you so much. I am so grateful for our family.
Love,
Your Mom
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Being An American
Dear Kids,
Recently there was an event in the news that really troubled me. A man named LaVoy Finicum was peacefully protesting with some other ranchers up in Oregon. They had all experienced the over reaching of our government on their lands and their rights. They had tried for years to stay within the bounds of the law, but decided that it was time to get more attention on the matter. So they decided to go and take over a bird refuge in Oregon in order to be able to start negotiations with the BLM to get their land back.
There is A LOT to this story, and only time will tell how the world is going to view it in 20 years, if they remember it at all. But basically what happened in the end is that LaVoy was shot and killed by the FBI. There were many falsehoods told about him in the media, calling him a terrorist and other horrible things, but they were all not true.
How do I know they weren't true? Because I did some digging, I met his family, I really took some time to get to know this issue. There are many "Gadianton Robbers" in the head of our government, and there have been for years. Many secret combinations that are running the world. But after reading, researching and meeting his family, I know the falsehoods that have been told. I haven't trusted the main media for YEARS... This just once again reaffirmed those feelings.
After he was killed, I felt a HUGE loss for our country. I spent about 48 hours in mourning over where we are as a country. This isn't America!! This isn't the country our founding fathers had in mind! But yet, here we are with tyranny all around us, and the majority of America not even realizing it.
I read in my scriptures in 2 Nephi 33:3 about how Nephi says that he prays, "continually for them (his people) by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night because of them". For the first time in my life I started to understand the depth of those emotions that Nephi, and so many other prophets, felt. My heart was so heavy with mourning over my people and over my country.
But I went to a candlelight vigil for LaVoy on Monday night. I am so glad that I did. His family talked and told everyone that they feel no malice or anger. They reminded us that Jesus forgave those who crucified him on the cross and LaVoy would want everyone to do the same. They asked us to pray for the trial, that those who seek to bring about truth and justice will be upheld by the angels of heaven. They told us to not be mad at America. Yes, there are those in secret places planning for America's destruction, BUT that is not America. They reminded us that everyone at the gathering remembering LaVoy, THIS is America. WE ARE AMERICA. We love each other, we trust each other, we uphold the right and the true.
They asked everyone to read the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. They asked everyone to educate themselves and be smart about their feelings of patriotism. The death of an amazing man won't be in vain if we do that.
It was so good for me to remember about what America really is about... and not just America, but what the gospel is about. The gospel promotes freedom. The gospel promotes truth. The end game of the world is afoot. The end game of the Lord is the most important and it is leading us to the Second Coming of our Savior. That is the most important thing to keep in mind. Be Christlike. Stand for truth boldly, nobly and freely. Don't give up.
I am so glad I went to that gathering. The world is changing all around me. I am seeing such a significant change from when I was young to now. I don't know what it is going to look like when you are all grown and having families of your own. But I hope I can instill in you the principles of the gospel and the principles of freedom. I will teach you. I will train you and pray that you will go in the right ways with angels around you helping you on your errand here on the earth.
I love the gospel. I love America. I love freedom and liberty. I love my Father in Heaven and I KNOW HIS WAYS will prevail. I know it and I have faith in the path of the world.
I love you,
Your Mom
Recently there was an event in the news that really troubled me. A man named LaVoy Finicum was peacefully protesting with some other ranchers up in Oregon. They had all experienced the over reaching of our government on their lands and their rights. They had tried for years to stay within the bounds of the law, but decided that it was time to get more attention on the matter. So they decided to go and take over a bird refuge in Oregon in order to be able to start negotiations with the BLM to get their land back.
There is A LOT to this story, and only time will tell how the world is going to view it in 20 years, if they remember it at all. But basically what happened in the end is that LaVoy was shot and killed by the FBI. There were many falsehoods told about him in the media, calling him a terrorist and other horrible things, but they were all not true.
How do I know they weren't true? Because I did some digging, I met his family, I really took some time to get to know this issue. There are many "Gadianton Robbers" in the head of our government, and there have been for years. Many secret combinations that are running the world. But after reading, researching and meeting his family, I know the falsehoods that have been told. I haven't trusted the main media for YEARS... This just once again reaffirmed those feelings.
After he was killed, I felt a HUGE loss for our country. I spent about 48 hours in mourning over where we are as a country. This isn't America!! This isn't the country our founding fathers had in mind! But yet, here we are with tyranny all around us, and the majority of America not even realizing it.
I read in my scriptures in 2 Nephi 33:3 about how Nephi says that he prays, "continually for them (his people) by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night because of them". For the first time in my life I started to understand the depth of those emotions that Nephi, and so many other prophets, felt. My heart was so heavy with mourning over my people and over my country.
But I went to a candlelight vigil for LaVoy on Monday night. I am so glad that I did. His family talked and told everyone that they feel no malice or anger. They reminded us that Jesus forgave those who crucified him on the cross and LaVoy would want everyone to do the same. They asked us to pray for the trial, that those who seek to bring about truth and justice will be upheld by the angels of heaven. They told us to not be mad at America. Yes, there are those in secret places planning for America's destruction, BUT that is not America. They reminded us that everyone at the gathering remembering LaVoy, THIS is America. WE ARE AMERICA. We love each other, we trust each other, we uphold the right and the true.
They asked everyone to read the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. They asked everyone to educate themselves and be smart about their feelings of patriotism. The death of an amazing man won't be in vain if we do that.
It was so good for me to remember about what America really is about... and not just America, but what the gospel is about. The gospel promotes freedom. The gospel promotes truth. The end game of the world is afoot. The end game of the Lord is the most important and it is leading us to the Second Coming of our Savior. That is the most important thing to keep in mind. Be Christlike. Stand for truth boldly, nobly and freely. Don't give up.
I am so glad I went to that gathering. The world is changing all around me. I am seeing such a significant change from when I was young to now. I don't know what it is going to look like when you are all grown and having families of your own. But I hope I can instill in you the principles of the gospel and the principles of freedom. I will teach you. I will train you and pray that you will go in the right ways with angels around you helping you on your errand here on the earth.
I love the gospel. I love America. I love freedom and liberty. I love my Father in Heaven and I KNOW HIS WAYS will prevail. I know it and I have faith in the path of the world.
I love you,
Your Mom
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Girlie-girl
Dear Talia,
You are a girlie-girl. You love everything girl. Pink and purple. Soft kittens. Doing your own hair and make up. Putting on lipgloss everyday. Doing your nails.
You are pure girl!
You are also pure girl in your emotions. There are many times that you throw me for a loop that is for sure, trying to fill up your love bucket. Your love language is physical touch. You want to just be touching me all the time. I have been learning how important hugs are to you and how important it is for you to be touched in order for you to understand love.
I am still trying to get it, because my love language is not physical touch. I love words of affirmation and gifts. I love them. Trying to fill your love bucket is pretty tiring for me, but we will get there, I am determined to have a good relationship with you. I love you so much and I want you to know I love you back. There are times that you don't recognize it because I don't tell you enough in your love language. We will get it figured out.
You are SOOOOO aware of everyone around you. That is a strength you have always had, you were born with it. You are in tune with every's energy around you. You know who is having a good day and who is having a bad day. You are so aware of things like that. You also have your dad's skill of remembering where everything is put. You remember where everything is located! It is amazing.
You are learning how to read and doing great! You are soooooo gifted with music. You have music in your soul that is just dying to be released. You sing everything. Your life is a musical. Truly.
I love you so much,
Love,
Your Mom
You are a girlie-girl. You love everything girl. Pink and purple. Soft kittens. Doing your own hair and make up. Putting on lipgloss everyday. Doing your nails.
You are pure girl!
You are also pure girl in your emotions. There are many times that you throw me for a loop that is for sure, trying to fill up your love bucket. Your love language is physical touch. You want to just be touching me all the time. I have been learning how important hugs are to you and how important it is for you to be touched in order for you to understand love.
I am still trying to get it, because my love language is not physical touch. I love words of affirmation and gifts. I love them. Trying to fill your love bucket is pretty tiring for me, but we will get there, I am determined to have a good relationship with you. I love you so much and I want you to know I love you back. There are times that you don't recognize it because I don't tell you enough in your love language. We will get it figured out.
You are SOOOOO aware of everyone around you. That is a strength you have always had, you were born with it. You are in tune with every's energy around you. You know who is having a good day and who is having a bad day. You are so aware of things like that. You also have your dad's skill of remembering where everything is put. You remember where everything is located! It is amazing.
You are learning how to read and doing great! You are soooooo gifted with music. You have music in your soul that is just dying to be released. You sing everything. Your life is a musical. Truly.
I love you so much,
Love,
Your Mom
Little Entrepreneur
Dear Gabriel,
So at this point in your life, you are a little entrepreneur. You decided you wanted to earn money to buy your family Christmas presents this year. So dad talked about some options of ways to earn money and you decided you wanted to make candy to sell. We helped you with everything, but you were completely involved! You worked hard all day to make candy to sell, then we spent 2 days around the neighborhood getting it sold to people.
I was completely impressed with your determination. When we went to the first house to sell candy too, you said, "It's okay mom, I can carry all the bags." You carried four full garbage bags and when they answered the door you knew exactly what to say. "I want to earn money for Christmas presents, and I am selling candy."
You were so confident! You didn't shy away from the conversation at all. I thought for sure you would look to me for guidance, but you handled all of the transaction. I was amazed at you.
You ended up earning about $120! You gave Talia 40$ for helping you make the candy, then you put some in tithing and some in savings. Then you bought all the Christmas presents you wanted with your own money and you have some left over in your wallet right now!
On your way home from school today you just told me you want a phone. I said, "A phone is something that mom and dad won't get for you. You have to be able to pay for it yourself." You said, "Okay... how much?" I told you and then automatically you said, "Well then, I will just have to earn more money!"
I loved hearing that from your mouth. You are creating value and you aren't afraid of earning money to pay for things by yourself. I love it. It is so independent and it will serve you well as you get older. I hope you keep the same motivation as we go along through the next few years... almost 10 years until you go on a mission!! Ah, I can't believe it. You will be 8 years old this year and I can't believe it.
I have been amazed at watching your transition from being an "innocent child" to being "accountable". It really is amazing the transition that is happening in your life. The way your brain is comprehending so much more, the way your emotions are being handled... all of it.
I love you so much
Love,
Your Mom
So at this point in your life, you are a little entrepreneur. You decided you wanted to earn money to buy your family Christmas presents this year. So dad talked about some options of ways to earn money and you decided you wanted to make candy to sell. We helped you with everything, but you were completely involved! You worked hard all day to make candy to sell, then we spent 2 days around the neighborhood getting it sold to people.
I was completely impressed with your determination. When we went to the first house to sell candy too, you said, "It's okay mom, I can carry all the bags." You carried four full garbage bags and when they answered the door you knew exactly what to say. "I want to earn money for Christmas presents, and I am selling candy."
You were so confident! You didn't shy away from the conversation at all. I thought for sure you would look to me for guidance, but you handled all of the transaction. I was amazed at you.
You ended up earning about $120! You gave Talia 40$ for helping you make the candy, then you put some in tithing and some in savings. Then you bought all the Christmas presents you wanted with your own money and you have some left over in your wallet right now!
On your way home from school today you just told me you want a phone. I said, "A phone is something that mom and dad won't get for you. You have to be able to pay for it yourself." You said, "Okay... how much?" I told you and then automatically you said, "Well then, I will just have to earn more money!"
I loved hearing that from your mouth. You are creating value and you aren't afraid of earning money to pay for things by yourself. I love it. It is so independent and it will serve you well as you get older. I hope you keep the same motivation as we go along through the next few years... almost 10 years until you go on a mission!! Ah, I can't believe it. You will be 8 years old this year and I can't believe it.
I have been amazed at watching your transition from being an "innocent child" to being "accountable". It really is amazing the transition that is happening in your life. The way your brain is comprehending so much more, the way your emotions are being handled... all of it.
I love you so much
Love,
Your Mom
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