Dear Gabriel,
Being scattered. I hope this is a trait you do not inherit from me. In a matter of 10 minutes I have gone from doing laundry, to getting a sandwich, to cleaning the living room, to checking my email, to calling someone... At the end of 10 minutes the laundry is still on the door of the dryer, my sandwich is still half made on the counter, the living room is half dusted, my emails are kind of checked and I can't remember why I called the person that is all of a sudden answering their phone!
I know this is something I don't convey on the outside very much, but I am really a scattered person. I have had to work for YEARS to teach myself how to concentrate in order to get something completely done. It is a skill I have had to teach myself because it doesn't come naturally. I remember in school being 'labeled' by teachers because I couldn't focus. In reality, I just had to learn the skill. Thank heavens I was never medicated... but that opinion is for another post.
Just hope and pray you get concentration from your father. That's all I have to say about that.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Have A Spine
Dear Gabriel,
One of my favorite things to do is have intelligent conversation with people. It is so rare anymore that anyone has a spine to actually stick up for what they believe in. I love that. Too many people around me don't want to 'offend' or they want to be politically correct about EVERYTHING. It becomes over kill. In my opinion, our society is missing the mark on so many things simply because we don't want to offend.
Don't get me wrong. I think being polite and respectful is important, but not to the extent to be spineless. I had some great conversation today at a book discussion that was wonderful because the people there had spines to stick up for what they believed. Whether or not I agreed was irrelevant (because there were many things said I didn't necessarily agree with, and we had great debates...). I want to be surrounded by courageous men and women, who will respectfully stick up for what they believe.
I hope you will know me and other's will know me as someone with a spine. That is definitely something I want to leave as a legacy...Always respectful, but a woman who stood up for what I believed in with my chin held high at the same time.
I hope you will be that kind of man. Always respectful... but have a spine!
I love you,
Your Mom
One of my favorite things to do is have intelligent conversation with people. It is so rare anymore that anyone has a spine to actually stick up for what they believe in. I love that. Too many people around me don't want to 'offend' or they want to be politically correct about EVERYTHING. It becomes over kill. In my opinion, our society is missing the mark on so many things simply because we don't want to offend.
Don't get me wrong. I think being polite and respectful is important, but not to the extent to be spineless. I had some great conversation today at a book discussion that was wonderful because the people there had spines to stick up for what they believed. Whether or not I agreed was irrelevant (because there were many things said I didn't necessarily agree with, and we had great debates...). I want to be surrounded by courageous men and women, who will respectfully stick up for what they believe.
I hope you will know me and other's will know me as someone with a spine. That is definitely something I want to leave as a legacy...Always respectful, but a woman who stood up for what I believed in with my chin held high at the same time.
I hope you will be that kind of man. Always respectful... but have a spine!
I love you,
Your Mom
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Just Keep Swimming
Dear Gabriel,
Little bit at a time. It is amazing to me how much life is a marathon. When I went out jogging this morning I thought about this a lot. During my jog I found myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' when I thought the hill in front of me would never end. When I got home I found myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' when I realized how dirty the house was. Later as you were ready for a nap and getting upset over the littlest things I found myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' when I was holding you and calming you down.
There are times in life when you will just need to think to yourself 'Just Keep Swimming'. Remember to sit down and take 5 minutes to just breathe. Feel the air coming into your lungs and give your body energy. Feel the amazing way your body works and mind is active. When I find myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' usually that is the sign that I need to take 5 and just breathe while being amazed at life around me.
Life is beautiful. Our blessings are beautiful. The hard times really are beautiful. I am so grateful I am really, truly getting to the point in my life that I am thankful for everything... even the times when I have to 'Just Keep Swimming'.
I love you,
Your Mom
Little bit at a time. It is amazing to me how much life is a marathon. When I went out jogging this morning I thought about this a lot. During my jog I found myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' when I thought the hill in front of me would never end. When I got home I found myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' when I realized how dirty the house was. Later as you were ready for a nap and getting upset over the littlest things I found myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' when I was holding you and calming you down.
There are times in life when you will just need to think to yourself 'Just Keep Swimming'. Remember to sit down and take 5 minutes to just breathe. Feel the air coming into your lungs and give your body energy. Feel the amazing way your body works and mind is active. When I find myself thinking 'Just Keep Swimming' usually that is the sign that I need to take 5 and just breathe while being amazed at life around me.
Life is beautiful. Our blessings are beautiful. The hard times really are beautiful. I am so grateful I am really, truly getting to the point in my life that I am thankful for everything... even the times when I have to 'Just Keep Swimming'.
I love you,
Your Mom
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I am in love
Dear Gabriel,
It is really important to me that you understand something very clearly. I am in love. Yep. I don't just love your dad... I am completely IN love with him. We had our 2nd anniversary yesterday and it was amazing to be reminded of what an amazing man I have in my life. He checked in with me. Asked me how we are doing, what he can do better, how he can love me more, how he can be a better father, what he can do for our relationship... How did I get someone who is so willing to be better all the time?
Don't get me wrong, it is not hearts and roses all the time. There are times I am bugged with him and he with me. There are times we completely disagree with each other. There are times we butt heads like crazy. There are days that are hard to communicate. But, he is usually the one to apologize first and hug me in order to soften the day. That is why I am in love with him.
There have been really hard times in the past little while, his business has lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. He has had to redefine really what he is doing with his career for our family. He has had a lot of disappointments throughout his life and extremely hard things with a father who committed suicide, raised by a single mom, figuring out life on his own a lot of times. BUT... even though these hard things hit him, I have never heard him complain about it. I have never heard him complain about what he has been through. He is just always saying, 'How can this make me better.' That is why I am in love with him.
Please know, no matter what we go through as a family... great, bad, good, indifferent, crazy, adventurous, funny or boring... I am always in love with your father. I am so grateful for him, especially since you have been born. As you know, he is an amazing father.
Remember, I am in love.
I love you.
Your Mom
It is really important to me that you understand something very clearly. I am in love. Yep. I don't just love your dad... I am completely IN love with him. We had our 2nd anniversary yesterday and it was amazing to be reminded of what an amazing man I have in my life. He checked in with me. Asked me how we are doing, what he can do better, how he can love me more, how he can be a better father, what he can do for our relationship... How did I get someone who is so willing to be better all the time?
Don't get me wrong, it is not hearts and roses all the time. There are times I am bugged with him and he with me. There are times we completely disagree with each other. There are times we butt heads like crazy. There are days that are hard to communicate. But, he is usually the one to apologize first and hug me in order to soften the day. That is why I am in love with him.
There have been really hard times in the past little while, his business has lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. He has had to redefine really what he is doing with his career for our family. He has had a lot of disappointments throughout his life and extremely hard things with a father who committed suicide, raised by a single mom, figuring out life on his own a lot of times. BUT... even though these hard things hit him, I have never heard him complain about it. I have never heard him complain about what he has been through. He is just always saying, 'How can this make me better.' That is why I am in love with him.
Please know, no matter what we go through as a family... great, bad, good, indifferent, crazy, adventurous, funny or boring... I am always in love with your father. I am so grateful for him, especially since you have been born. As you know, he is an amazing father.
Remember, I am in love.
I love you.
Your Mom
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Competent People
Dear Gabriel,
I love competent people. The project I am working on is so great for me! I love working with people who are smart, fast, efficient, funny, and hard workers. Whenever I work with people like that I think to myself, 'How did their mom's teach them those things'? Several times in my life I forget that everyday skills are TAUGHT. So often I underestimate truly how much I know and can teach, because it seems so normal to me.
There are times I remember how much I know when I meet people who don't have the same skills. Please know I am not saying this to elevate myself with my knowledge... MANY other people have better skills than I do! But, there is so much to the world that I can add because of the skills I have. Largely due to my mother and father for BEING those kind of people.
Hopefully I can teach you to be a competent person! I want you to be that man on the project who will dig in with his hands and get the work done without complaining. I want you to be that man that handles conflict effectively and sensitively. I want you to be the man who can go through any situation, no matter how hard, with a smile and finding humor along the way.
When I remember I want you to be that man, I remember that I must be that as your mom! You will learn those things from me and your dad. Raising a child is the best way to find out if we are competent people ;-)
I love you,
Your Mom
I love competent people. The project I am working on is so great for me! I love working with people who are smart, fast, efficient, funny, and hard workers. Whenever I work with people like that I think to myself, 'How did their mom's teach them those things'? Several times in my life I forget that everyday skills are TAUGHT. So often I underestimate truly how much I know and can teach, because it seems so normal to me.
There are times I remember how much I know when I meet people who don't have the same skills. Please know I am not saying this to elevate myself with my knowledge... MANY other people have better skills than I do! But, there is so much to the world that I can add because of the skills I have. Largely due to my mother and father for BEING those kind of people.
Hopefully I can teach you to be a competent person! I want you to be that man on the project who will dig in with his hands and get the work done without complaining. I want you to be that man that handles conflict effectively and sensitively. I want you to be the man who can go through any situation, no matter how hard, with a smile and finding humor along the way.
When I remember I want you to be that man, I remember that I must be that as your mom! You will learn those things from me and your dad. Raising a child is the best way to find out if we are competent people ;-)
I love you,
Your Mom
Monday, June 15, 2009
Discovery
Dear Gabriel,
You are so close to crawling, you can hardly stand it. It is so sad to see you so frustrated, but at the same time I am holding my breath because once you start moving independently... life is over as I know it!
I think once of the most beautiful things about being a mom is seeing how everything is a discovery for you. You are discovering everything! When did I lose that? You look at everything with new eyes. You work so hard. The concept of 'giving up' is not part of your thought processes at all yet. Every time I get frustrated about anything, I look at you giving your all to just learn how to crawl, and I am humbled and happy once again.
Thank you so much for everything you are teaching me about 'discovery'. Life is a discovery. There are new things to see, new tastes to taste, more to be grateful for, constant reasons to laugh and wonderful times to remember.
I love you,
Your Mom
You are so close to crawling, you can hardly stand it. It is so sad to see you so frustrated, but at the same time I am holding my breath because once you start moving independently... life is over as I know it!
I think once of the most beautiful things about being a mom is seeing how everything is a discovery for you. You are discovering everything! When did I lose that? You look at everything with new eyes. You work so hard. The concept of 'giving up' is not part of your thought processes at all yet. Every time I get frustrated about anything, I look at you giving your all to just learn how to crawl, and I am humbled and happy once again.
Thank you so much for everything you are teaching me about 'discovery'. Life is a discovery. There are new things to see, new tastes to taste, more to be grateful for, constant reasons to laugh and wonderful times to remember.
I love you,
Your Mom
Thursday, June 11, 2009
All The Sacrifices...
Dear Gabriel,
Today when I was throwing you up and down I thought, "All the sacrifices I am going through to be home with you is totally worth it." There are times when I think that there are so many jobs I could get, so many adventures I could still be having, so many things I could still be doing away from home... but then all I have to do is look at you with your smile and I think, "All the sacrifices I am going through to be home with you is totally worth it."
Everyone is in a different circumstance, but I am so grateful to choose to be home with you. We are very tight with money, and I could go and find a job that would pay me a lot of money. There are many places we could move where I could get a fantastic job. BUT, that is not the right place for me to be. Brent is working so hard to make sure this joint venture with the greenhouses goes right, and I am having a blast doing project management for some future endeavors (yet to launch...)
All the sacrifices I am making to be with you are worth it. It makes me sick to think of leaving you with someone else who doesn't love you as much as I do. It is hard financially... but is it worth it? Yes. It is hard socially... but is it worth it? Yes. It is hard emotionally... but is it worth it? Yes. All of the sacrifices are worth it. I have never appreciated my mom more than in the last few months and all the sacrifices she went through to be home with us. But was it worth it? Absolutely, resoundingly... YES.
I love you,
Your Mom
Today when I was throwing you up and down I thought, "All the sacrifices I am going through to be home with you is totally worth it." There are times when I think that there are so many jobs I could get, so many adventures I could still be having, so many things I could still be doing away from home... but then all I have to do is look at you with your smile and I think, "All the sacrifices I am going through to be home with you is totally worth it."
Everyone is in a different circumstance, but I am so grateful to choose to be home with you. We are very tight with money, and I could go and find a job that would pay me a lot of money. There are many places we could move where I could get a fantastic job. BUT, that is not the right place for me to be. Brent is working so hard to make sure this joint venture with the greenhouses goes right, and I am having a blast doing project management for some future endeavors (yet to launch...)
All the sacrifices I am making to be with you are worth it. It makes me sick to think of leaving you with someone else who doesn't love you as much as I do. It is hard financially... but is it worth it? Yes. It is hard socially... but is it worth it? Yes. It is hard emotionally... but is it worth it? Yes. All of the sacrifices are worth it. I have never appreciated my mom more than in the last few months and all the sacrifices she went through to be home with us. But was it worth it? Absolutely, resoundingly... YES.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Catch Up Time...
Dear Gabriel,
Where did the phrase 'catch up' come from? I have been thinking about that the last 24 hours because of the 'catching up' on everything I have to do and missed in the last 2 weeks. We moved, I left for a friends wedding (with you!) right after, then came back and was in charge of choir camp that sucks a week of time away. After being home for the day, I am looking around thinking 'there is still stuff to catch up with'...
What is there to 'catch up' on? Life could ALWAYS be a catch up game if I look at it that way. There will always be laundry, dishes, hugs, calls, emails, networks, callings, etc. to 'catch up' on. I have decided I want to OBLITERATE that phrase from my vocabulary. From now on I am 'living in the now'. No matter what, whenever I live in the 'now' I am always smiling and happy, because my heart and focus is exactly where it needs to be. And... (strangely enough ;-) when I live in the now, instead of the mindset of 'catching up' I get a lot more done. Miraculous!
No matter what, 'live in the now'. There will always be something else 'to get done', something else that was 'missed', something else that wasn't done 'perfectly'... I believe those are little lies Satan whispers to me in order to take my focus from 'the now' and feeling the spirit of peace. Everything is beautiful and happening in perfect harmony because everything is as it should be NOW.
I love you,
Your Mom
Where did the phrase 'catch up' come from? I have been thinking about that the last 24 hours because of the 'catching up' on everything I have to do and missed in the last 2 weeks. We moved, I left for a friends wedding (with you!) right after, then came back and was in charge of choir camp that sucks a week of time away. After being home for the day, I am looking around thinking 'there is still stuff to catch up with'...
What is there to 'catch up' on? Life could ALWAYS be a catch up game if I look at it that way. There will always be laundry, dishes, hugs, calls, emails, networks, callings, etc. to 'catch up' on. I have decided I want to OBLITERATE that phrase from my vocabulary. From now on I am 'living in the now'. No matter what, whenever I live in the 'now' I am always smiling and happy, because my heart and focus is exactly where it needs to be. And... (strangely enough ;-) when I live in the now, instead of the mindset of 'catching up' I get a lot more done. Miraculous!
No matter what, 'live in the now'. There will always be something else 'to get done', something else that was 'missed', something else that wasn't done 'perfectly'... I believe those are little lies Satan whispers to me in order to take my focus from 'the now' and feeling the spirit of peace. Everything is beautiful and happening in perfect harmony because everything is as it should be NOW.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Essentials
Dear Gabriel,
So I am bugged. I actually have been bugged for a couple days. My emotions have been on a roller coaster with packing, moving, traveling, weddings, getting ready for choir camp, managing group conflicts, organizing my time, balancing bills and who to pay first, missing my family, project management… I have just allowed my emotions to be on edge.
But I know the answer. Have I taken time to meditate and study the last 2 weeks? No. Have I taken time to really pray? No. Have I taken time to really exercise? No. Have I taken time to eat well and sleep well? No. My schedule is completely off.
It never ceases to amaze me how when I take care of the essentials in my life, then my life takes good care of me. When I don’t take care of the essentials, it feels like my life is just cramming issues and problems down my throat. It all has to do with how I prioritize my time and myself.
Remember, no matter what life throws at you, take time for the essentials. I truly believe the answers are finding peace and being in balance. Remember, your mom hasn’t always been perfect with how she handles things, but hopefully she is learning enough to love more each day and appreciate what life throws at her.
I am learning. As you get older, please be patient with me when I have times that I am 'off'. I will always bounce back :-).
I love you,
Your Mom
So I am bugged. I actually have been bugged for a couple days. My emotions have been on a roller coaster with packing, moving, traveling, weddings, getting ready for choir camp, managing group conflicts, organizing my time, balancing bills and who to pay first, missing my family, project management… I have just allowed my emotions to be on edge.
But I know the answer. Have I taken time to meditate and study the last 2 weeks? No. Have I taken time to really pray? No. Have I taken time to really exercise? No. Have I taken time to eat well and sleep well? No. My schedule is completely off.
It never ceases to amaze me how when I take care of the essentials in my life, then my life takes good care of me. When I don’t take care of the essentials, it feels like my life is just cramming issues and problems down my throat. It all has to do with how I prioritize my time and myself.
Remember, no matter what life throws at you, take time for the essentials. I truly believe the answers are finding peace and being in balance. Remember, your mom hasn’t always been perfect with how she handles things, but hopefully she is learning enough to love more each day and appreciate what life throws at her.
I am learning. As you get older, please be patient with me when I have times that I am 'off'. I will always bounce back :-).
I love you,
Your Mom
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