Just A Taste

Dear Kids,

I had a very spiritual experience last night I want to tell you about.

Your dad and I went to see "Lamb of God". It is an oratorio about Christ's last week and the events that happened leading up to his death and resurrection. Rob Gardner wrote it, and a good friend of ours, Alyce Gardner, produced it here in St. George.

Very rarely does a production have the power to move and inspire, but also CHANGE the people that are there. They are very rare. This production did that. It was unbelievable. The whole production was just feeding my soul in a way I haven't felt for a while, but I also had an experience that I want to tell you about that was very powerful for me in my life.

One of the spiritual gifts that I have is to see things from the other side often. I have experiences with angels and spirits, but I also have been given glimpses of various things throughout the world's history. It is completely a GIFT - and it is nothing that I have done that makes me "more righteous" to experience these things. It happens randomly and usually I am caught off guard by it. It is something I have worked hard to recognize. I truly think the Lord gives so many people experiences that are spiritual and powerful, we just have to be the ones to have the eyes and ears of recognition to realize and see it for what it is. The Lord is just merciful, and loves me...and it is humbling to me.

I had one of these glimpses last night during this production. It is the part when Jesus finishes in the Garden of Gethsemane and the men and soldiers are coming to take him away. When the part came representing the men coming, it's like I was whooshed for a split second of time and saw in my mind's eye those men. I felt what they felt toward the Savior. I felt their venom, their anger, their excitement to hurt him... they reminded me of wild animals. I have NEVER felt a feeling like that before in my life. It wasn't just evil... it was wildly evil and it was delightful to them to feel that way about him.

Then I felt it again during the part when Peter follows and is in the midst of trying to be by Jesus while everything is happening to Jesus and Peter denies Him three times. It is completely my opinion that when Christ tells Peter that he "shalt deny me three times before the cock crows", that is was more of a command to Peter, in order to keep Peter safe. Peter, of course, doesn't believe Jesus because he would NEVER do that.

Well, when it came to the part of Peter denying Jesus, I was whooshed again for a split second to that period of time. It was completely in my heart and minds eye. It was so fast, but so tangible and powerful. I WISH I had the right words to describe it. But, the energy and the mood of what was going on during these moments of time... Peter understood. He was terrified, I felt for a moment what he felt, and he was TERRIFIED beyond belief at what was happening around him. The wildly evil people, their eyes being possessed, truly snapping like a wolf at him when asking him if he knew Jesus. The only way I can think to describe it is their souls were like the Orks in Lord of the Rings. They were hording and dancing in crazy delight around him, possibly able to have another victim to satisfy their lusts for the death of anything that held light, truth, and power from our True God Our Father. That feeling was the same around Jesus and the whole atmosphere during those moments - the evil is nothing like anyone has ever known before.

For those split seconds, I understood something beyond anything like I have ever felt or even knew existed before, my heart just broke, truly into thousands of pieces. Even now remembering that feeling, those faces, those realizations of really what Christ was facing in just THOSE moments (and what I felt was only .0000000000000001 of what Christ really felt and went through... if that even!), my respect, love, admiration, amazement, awe, wonder, shock, affection, reverence... any feeling I have ever felt toward my Savior was blown to a higher level than I have ever known before. All He went through... All He endured, suffered, withstood, experienced... ALLOWED AND PERMITTED to happen to Him.....

Like I said, I WISH I could adequately describe it. This description doesn't come close to what I felt, but it is the closest I can get. The tears running down my cheeks weren't at all controlled. They fell like the rain. He did all of this out of love. Pure LOVE for me, for you and for everyone in the world so we can have PEACE. So we don't have to suffer LIKE THAT.

During my prayers last night I just said "thank you" over and over and over and over and over again. What a tender mercy to have a small glimpse like that. To have a small inclining and understanding, it is astounding, humbling, and shocking to me that Father would send a message like that. So what do I need to do with it?

Tell you and everyone that I BELIEVE IN CHRIST. I believe in His power, healing, beauty, wonder, strength, bravery, character, caliber, dignity, royalty, courage, stability, ALL of who and what He is and means for all of us. Come to Christ and be perfected IN HIM. Not because of anything we are, but because of what He is. He is the companion by my side and I am whole because of Him. I have known this for such a long time, my heart feels such peace because of Him, all my heartache and suffering are gone because of Him.

If I teach you anything kids, it is this = Have a personal relationship with Jesus. He makes all the difference in life.

I love you,

Your Mom