World Changers Personalities

Dear Elijah,

Tonight when I tucked you in, you were already sleeping. I took a minute to kiss your hand and look at your face while you were in slumber. You look so peaceful and so calm. I had to sit there and just watch you for a minute to wrap my heart around you a little bit more.

I have been having to practice that a lot lately, wrapping my heart around you specifically. Mimi keeps telling me that Gabe and Talia had really hard times when they were four years old as well, but I feel like I'm having the hardest time with you at this age.

You have such an amazingly strong spirit. You are a like a wild stallion that doesn't want to be bridled... and that is such a good thing, it is part of your soul! But as your mom, trying to figure out how to balance that will power of yours together with respect and obedience... sheesh. Let's just say, it has been really difficult. You look at me with defiant eyes all the time, you have a way about you that is "your way or the highway"...like REALLY particular things. Example: wanting me to stand in the exact same spot in the room while you are climbing up in your bed for nap time, and if I move out of that spot you FREAK OUT... P.S., I don't stand in that same spot most of the time because you have to understand that you are not the boss and the world doesn't bend itself to your will - I feel like that is going to be a HUGE struggle for you for your entire life. Or getting mad at me about something because you had a different expectation in your head about it, and I have no idea what "rule" I have broken of yours that you are so mad about. Or kicking your feet and throwing a fit whenever I follow through with a consequence. Or telling me to "stop it" whenever I give you a compliment. SO MANY THINGS.

I have read lots of different books and theories to help me understand you better. And I know that many of them have helped me to look at you with more empathy. However, my struggle has been marrying the emotions of empathy with mentoring, simply because you do not want a mentor. You are your own person and you will do it your way no matter what, you are your own authority (very type 4-3 of energy types).

You are going to change the world and everyone around you when you channel everything that proper way. Having you (and let's get real, ALL of my strong headed children) in my life has made me look at the mothers of "world changers" in a completely different light. We have no idea the amount of time and energy and worry and prayer and grit the mothers of all the world changers had in order to help lead and guide them along their path.

My deep heart worries about you are founded with the understanding that I have to let you go sooner than later, simply because you will demand that. I just hope you understand that I love you no matter what through all of it.

It is a privilege to be your momma. Deep down, you are a momma's boy. You want to do everything on your own... but you don't want me very far away from you while you are doing it. I know you came to me for very specific reasons, and I will keep asking and keep praying about what Heavenly Father needs me to do while you are in my care.

I love you. Remember that when you were little I would just look at your face and love you with my while heart while you were sleeping.

Love,

Your Mom