Dear Kids,
It's hard to write something really emotionally amazing when all of a sudden I haven't written for three months and there is so much to catch up on. I suppose the emotional tugging posts will have to wait until the catch up is finished!
When I have to catch up it is always easier to just write a list of everything that has happened. So that's what this post is going to look like. A list of events:
-Our family is expecting another baby! We don't know what it is yet, we will get an ultrasound in a couple weeks and find out. You are all so excited about it and you are looking at my tummy everyday and saying things like, "I think your tummy is a little bigger today mom!". It's pretty adorable. We have been talking about the whole process a lot and trying to do our best to be as honest and open about it as is age appropriate.
-Your Uncle Greg Barton died at the end of March, on Easter Sunday actually. It was a really hard situation because their family was struggling being and staying together anyway, and divorce was on the way. There is a lot of speculation about the motivation of his death. It could have been an accidental overdose, or "on purpose" ... only the Lord knows his heart. I have a lot of personal feelings about the whole situation, but those are my own and not necessarily fact. All the cousins are in different homes for the summer this year because Janet has been really struggling to stay up with life. We weren't able to have any of the cousins because my energy with this pregnancy has been HORRIBLE, and keeping up with just simple things has been a chore. We shall see what the whole situation will look like at the end of the summer. I hope that Janet chooses a healthier lifestyle than she is right now, especially during grieving recovery... but only she is in charge of that. Your dad and I haven't been involved a lot, for better or for worse. We shall see.
-Your dad planned the whole funeral. He was amazing about it and he did so many things that probably only I really know about with the craziness of it all. It was an intense week getting it all taken care of, but he really stepped up and did everything in his power to make it as good of an experience as possible for Greg's kids. He was buried at a military cemetery, which was huge and will be an amazing memory for his children.
-We went to Idaho for Easter and we were there for a little while because of what happened with Greg, before heading to Utah, It's funny, but the more drama has taken place on your dad's side of the family, the more the spirit has been pushing me to build stronger relationships with my own siblings. Every time I have tried to feel what I need to do for his family or any situation that comes up, I feel the push to build relationships with my own siblings first. Every time I have felt that, and so that is what I have been focusing on. I don't know exactly why, if anything is coming up, or if it is just because that is where my stewardship really needs to lie, but I have been following that inkling and impression. It has been a little hard, because I do feel a distance from his family, which usually I haven't felt. But that's okay, my focus is not supposed to be there right now. I am choosing to follow what the spirit is leading me to do.
-I think I wrote you about the cruise your dad and I went on at the beginning of February. That was just awesome. End of story!
-Gabriel, you finished out this school year with Mrs. Crouch. She has been an amazing fit for you as a teacher and as a mentor, it's been exactly what you have needed this year and I am so grateful for it. You have learned so much, there are still some things that need rounded out with your education at this point, but really I'm not at all concerned about it. It will get there. Your character is changing all the time to be more mature and understanding of free agency, especially with your eighth birthday coming up. It is a new phase of parenting, that is for sure. We are trying to figure it out and work around what it all means. But you are a good kid who works hard. You have been in tumbling this whole year and loving that. You went to some soccer tryouts, but we together decided you are going to try different sports this fall. You are doing a basketball camp and a rock climbing camp in June, that I think you will really like. You are discovering more talents all the time. We will get you going on piano this fall. And your reading is out of this world amazing. You are doing amazing with reading. I love you.
-Natalia, you had an end of year dance performance that you had a blast at. You love the stage and love performing. We have been trying to think of a few different ways to expand on that talent, we will get there, after all, you are only almost six years old! We have time. You will start piano this fall, and I think you will really like that. It will help you a lot to get going on an instrument. You have been VERY helpful lately. We have been getting along a lot better and I am so grateful for that. I am trying to fill your love buckets as much as possible, it is time consuming, but that is my job right? You are responding and it is working well. I am learning more and more about parenting so many different personalities that is for sure! You are going to start the Montessori school this fall and you can't wait for that! You are so excited. and I am excited for you! You have been playing with Laela a lot this last little while (Steve and Karina Palmer's daughter) and you guys have a lot of fun together. We are trying to figure out how you are so aware socially at such a young age, a strength and a weakness all at the same time!
-Elijah, you are starting to push every boundary possible the last little bit. You and Talia have switched places with "hard" inside of parenting. Your boundary pushing has been REALLY strong. We will get there, but it is tough a lot of days and exhausting! But you are 3 1/2 and so you are figuring out a different stage of life, that is for sure. When you aren't pushing boundaries or throwing fits, you are actually really fun to be around. You are discovering your sense of humor more and more, you are also discovering your free agency more and more. We will make it through... hopefully!
-We have been reading the "Narnia" books together as a family. We just finished "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe", and will be starting the next book this week. It has been fun watching you discover a story through reading and I am grateful for it! We need to get more in the habit of reading like that, and this is a great start.
-Your dad's work schedule has been up and down and very demanding, but started getting back on track and regular this last week. He is getting impatient to find something else that can be more independent with making money. I am grateful that he is willing to keep this job until we can slowly move into something else. We will hopefully be able to make the transition in a healthy and smart financial way. It has been such a blessing to have this job. SUCH a blessing. NO complaints.
-We have a good garden this year. We've been working on this quite a bit this year.
-I have been napping more than I think I ever have my entire life this pregnancy... it actually is the same amount of sleep that I had to get during the day with all my newborns. I am having to learn to take it slower than normal and to be okay with that. It has been actually a challenge because it just isn't my personality, but it's a sliver of time in my life. Plus it helps me to take it slower to really "see" my kids more and better. So that is a blessing inside of it all.
I think that is it for the "list" update!
Love you,
Your Mom
