Dear Gabriel,
The story for today is about you.
Today was the first Fast Sunday that you joined Dad and I with fasting. You decided to go through breakfast to lunch time, and fasted for Heavenly Father to help you with your thoughts (you have been having really scary thoughts lately at night, mainly about zombies from a commercial you saw on dad's phone while you were playing a game. Needless to say, you haven't played that game again since this time).
In sacrament meeting, a bunch of the primary kids from our ward jumped up to say their testimonies very first. One of your friends got up, and you were like, "Look, that's Miles! He's giving a talk!" Then I told you that you could go up and bear your testimony as well.
You looked at me with surprise and said, "Really?? I can go up there??"
I hadn't realized that you had no idea you could do that. I feel actually bad about it, because you had no idea that fast Sunday was for anyone to get up and share their feelings.
As soon as you realized this, you said, "I'm going up!". You immediately got up, walked with determination up to the pulpit, chest out, with your confident walk, not afraid at all. You said you were grateful for Heavenly Father helping you with everything you need in your life, and then you sat back down. You forgot to say "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen"... but that just added to the feeling of it.
You got up there, said what you needed to say, and then got back down. I loved it. Natalia went up with me to bear her testimony, but she needed help and didn't want to say things on her own, she is much more aware of when people are looking at her and watching her than you are. You don't care at all (and both characteristics have their own strengths and weaknesses with them).
Your dad turned to me and said, "You HAVE to write that in your journal tonight."
I love you. I love being your mom. I love your tender heart. I love that you are so aware of everything around you that has to do with the spirit and thoughts. I love that you are determined and know what you want and you aren't afraid to go after it. I love that about you. I'm so grateful for you.
I love you,
Your Mom
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Saturday, November 4, 2017
Reminders
Dear Kids,
I was in a really good habit of writing a few years ago, and what helped me sooooo much was advice I received from your Aunt Keek. When I was talking to her about journaling and how I had struggled for so long with it, she gave me this feedback, "Andrea, I had a teacher in college tell me to just write ONE thing in detail that happened to me in a day. Don't try to recap everything that went on. Don't try to just give a 'travel log' or just the 'happenings'. Remember one thing that affected you that day and write about that one thing in detail. Then you will start to love journaling and feel the power of it."
Well, when I received that advice I started doing that... and I have to tell you that it worked SO WELL! I loved it... then of course, just like happens in life and when my humanity shows, I got overwhelmed and I haven't written very well the last couple of years. The interesting thing is that while I was journaling about ONE thing, I started seeing thing differently in a day. Things were a little more magical... I was a little more focused on the experiences instead of the to-do lists. Since stopping journaling like that, I feel like my eyes have shut a bit about all the various things I am experiencing in my life, and with my kids.
I want my eyes to open back up again! I want to feel that feeling of, "Oh! THAT is what I was my posterity to remember about today." I want the feeling of the eyes of recognition to see. Journaling in that way really helped me to develop those eyes of recognition.
Since I started homeschooling this year, I have felt a huge push to start doing that journaling again. So tonight I am starting on the road. It is very similar to when Elder Eyering gave the advice to write down just ONE way "you have seen the Hand of God in your life today." I love that advice and follows the same guideline.
I have especially felt attacked QUITE a bit in the last 6 months or so by Satan. I feel it big time, he is upping his game against me and my family, and this practice is another "battle strategy" for keeping my family spiritually safe and my mind focused on what matters most.
As I think about it, there were lots of "moments" today that I would love to write about. Like when Elijah persisted on having his soda at Costco, but he didn't get it because he refused to apologize to his dad for being disrespectful. Or when Gabriel had a total melt down about Elijah using his play dough and didn't want to admit that in reality he should have put it away instead of leaving it on the table. Or when Talia came to the kitchen and said, "Mom I just really want to help you with something." Or when Joshua splashed in the toilet and laughed at me when I came to get him to wash his hands, and I had to remind everyone yet again that we HAVE to close the toilets right now because Joshua wants to touch the water constantly. Or when the kids had a break down about Brent going to the theater to help again tonight. Or when Gabe came out of his room tonight and said, "Mom, I just HAVE to stay up with you tonight. I just can't go to sleep unless you snuggle with me the whole time." Or when Elijah was a little rough with Joshua and I had to teach him that it was an accident that Joshua's head got hurt and he needed to rub it better. Or when Talia put make up all over her face and dressed Elijah up with her to dance around in the kitchen....
Do you see?? I have so many moments that I could focus on.
But the moment I want to really write about is when I saw a really good friend in Costco tonight. Carolyn Cooper. She does a lot of trainings around the globe about emotional and energetic skills. Her method is called "Simply Healed". I really love her. She started telling me about how she was talking to a friend that mentioned my name, and how I had told her that I had to work through a lot of emotions about letting go of my business life and focus on my home. We had a good conversation about it because this friend of mine has been struggling with some of the same feelings and situations.
This is the part that was a gift to me. Carolyn looked at me and said, "Andrea... what you are doing right now with your family and with your children is the absolute most magical thing you can do. After all my business "experiences" and contacts (and she has A LOT), none of it means anything. What means something is my kids, my family."
She teared up about her kids, because she feels like there are ways she could have focused more at home instead of on work while they were home. She told me how she is going to be taking a sabbatical so she can be more available for River, her daughter. She said, "I only have a couple more years with my girl to help her be ready for life... I can't waste that time on business."
It meant so much to me to have this little, fast conversation that lasted about 10 minutes... but it was such a good reminder. It was a tender mercy for me. There are so many days that I look at what I'm doing and I don't feel like I'm doing ANYTHING. Dishes... again. Laundry... again. Playing referee with children fighting... AGAIN. It's tough to keep the 10,000 foot view inside of everyday life with kids... especially homeschooling!
But as she was talking to me, the spirit confirmed again that I have made the right choice. I'm where I should be right now and to take being the CEO of my home and my children's education seriously.
That was the hand of God in my life today. I'm so grateful for those tender mercy experiences.
I love you kids. I really do. I hope you have memories of your mom loving you and cherishing you. Because I do. Forgive me for my weaknesses. I promise that I never hurt you on purpose... and I am realistic enough to know that there are going to be things you are going to have to work through in your emotions about various frustrations with me. And that's okay. But know that I KNOW that I can look at God with a clean conscious... knowing that I did the most important work in my home.
I love you,
Your Mom
I was in a really good habit of writing a few years ago, and what helped me sooooo much was advice I received from your Aunt Keek. When I was talking to her about journaling and how I had struggled for so long with it, she gave me this feedback, "Andrea, I had a teacher in college tell me to just write ONE thing in detail that happened to me in a day. Don't try to recap everything that went on. Don't try to just give a 'travel log' or just the 'happenings'. Remember one thing that affected you that day and write about that one thing in detail. Then you will start to love journaling and feel the power of it."
Well, when I received that advice I started doing that... and I have to tell you that it worked SO WELL! I loved it... then of course, just like happens in life and when my humanity shows, I got overwhelmed and I haven't written very well the last couple of years. The interesting thing is that while I was journaling about ONE thing, I started seeing thing differently in a day. Things were a little more magical... I was a little more focused on the experiences instead of the to-do lists. Since stopping journaling like that, I feel like my eyes have shut a bit about all the various things I am experiencing in my life, and with my kids.
I want my eyes to open back up again! I want to feel that feeling of, "Oh! THAT is what I was my posterity to remember about today." I want the feeling of the eyes of recognition to see. Journaling in that way really helped me to develop those eyes of recognition.
Since I started homeschooling this year, I have felt a huge push to start doing that journaling again. So tonight I am starting on the road. It is very similar to when Elder Eyering gave the advice to write down just ONE way "you have seen the Hand of God in your life today." I love that advice and follows the same guideline.
I have especially felt attacked QUITE a bit in the last 6 months or so by Satan. I feel it big time, he is upping his game against me and my family, and this practice is another "battle strategy" for keeping my family spiritually safe and my mind focused on what matters most.
As I think about it, there were lots of "moments" today that I would love to write about. Like when Elijah persisted on having his soda at Costco, but he didn't get it because he refused to apologize to his dad for being disrespectful. Or when Gabriel had a total melt down about Elijah using his play dough and didn't want to admit that in reality he should have put it away instead of leaving it on the table. Or when Talia came to the kitchen and said, "Mom I just really want to help you with something." Or when Joshua splashed in the toilet and laughed at me when I came to get him to wash his hands, and I had to remind everyone yet again that we HAVE to close the toilets right now because Joshua wants to touch the water constantly. Or when the kids had a break down about Brent going to the theater to help again tonight. Or when Gabe came out of his room tonight and said, "Mom, I just HAVE to stay up with you tonight. I just can't go to sleep unless you snuggle with me the whole time." Or when Elijah was a little rough with Joshua and I had to teach him that it was an accident that Joshua's head got hurt and he needed to rub it better. Or when Talia put make up all over her face and dressed Elijah up with her to dance around in the kitchen....
Do you see?? I have so many moments that I could focus on.
But the moment I want to really write about is when I saw a really good friend in Costco tonight. Carolyn Cooper. She does a lot of trainings around the globe about emotional and energetic skills. Her method is called "Simply Healed". I really love her. She started telling me about how she was talking to a friend that mentioned my name, and how I had told her that I had to work through a lot of emotions about letting go of my business life and focus on my home. We had a good conversation about it because this friend of mine has been struggling with some of the same feelings and situations.
This is the part that was a gift to me. Carolyn looked at me and said, "Andrea... what you are doing right now with your family and with your children is the absolute most magical thing you can do. After all my business "experiences" and contacts (and she has A LOT), none of it means anything. What means something is my kids, my family."
She teared up about her kids, because she feels like there are ways she could have focused more at home instead of on work while they were home. She told me how she is going to be taking a sabbatical so she can be more available for River, her daughter. She said, "I only have a couple more years with my girl to help her be ready for life... I can't waste that time on business."
It meant so much to me to have this little, fast conversation that lasted about 10 minutes... but it was such a good reminder. It was a tender mercy for me. There are so many days that I look at what I'm doing and I don't feel like I'm doing ANYTHING. Dishes... again. Laundry... again. Playing referee with children fighting... AGAIN. It's tough to keep the 10,000 foot view inside of everyday life with kids... especially homeschooling!
But as she was talking to me, the spirit confirmed again that I have made the right choice. I'm where I should be right now and to take being the CEO of my home and my children's education seriously.
That was the hand of God in my life today. I'm so grateful for those tender mercy experiences.
I love you kids. I really do. I hope you have memories of your mom loving you and cherishing you. Because I do. Forgive me for my weaknesses. I promise that I never hurt you on purpose... and I am realistic enough to know that there are going to be things you are going to have to work through in your emotions about various frustrations with me. And that's okay. But know that I KNOW that I can look at God with a clean conscious... knowing that I did the most important work in my home.
I love you,
Your Mom
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