Dear Kids,
The last little while I feel like I've been in, what Dr. Seuss called, "The Waiting Place".
We are just waiting. Waiting to find a house. Waiting to get settled. Waiting to see your dad. Waiting to see how the podcast does. Waiting to get going on where we will be doing homeschool activities. Waiting to find where we can do classes again.
Just a lot of waiting.
And I've discovered that it's a really hard place for my mind and heart to be in! I am an action person. I always have been. I don't like waiting to see where we are going to be. I want to know! The Lord is always teaching me more and more how to be confident in the moment when I don't even see where we are going to be living.... To have confidence in Him that He is working everything out for our benefit, even when we don't really see what that means.
You are all asking me everyday if we found a house yet. And everyday I have to give you the same answer. Everyday you are curious and I've gotten frustrated with all the questions again and again because I don't have answers to give you. All I can say is, "We haven't found one yet. We have to still be praying for help." That is the best I can do.
That has been difficult for you as well.
I think one purpose of this waiting place is so we can be with dad a little longer. I think he likes it when we are here so he isn't alone. But it's also getting to the point where we need to get our own space. I have a hard time without my own place to settle into.
Another purpose is for me to be really grateful and understand the pioneers who moved from place to place. I have a lot of empathy for those women who moved from area to area over and over again and established a home again and again. I have a lot of empathy for them.
Another purpose is for me to learn to lean into the "unknowing" and build the muscle of just knowing that God is taking care of it in His own due time. That is not a bad thing for me to learn. And I keep learning it over and over and over again in my life. It's a constant lesson. AND every time I can look in hindsight and see that He knew where we needed to be. So in this place of just waiting, I have to pull those evidences off my spiritual bookshelf and look at them again so I can have faith in the NOW that things are working out for the best.
I love you kids. I know this will be something that you will deal with in your lifetimes. It's one of life's many lessons. So I want you to know that I have had my own moments of difficulty, but I have ALWAYS turned to the Lord inside of it. I hope you will too. Lean into your faith and wait upon the Lord.
I love you kids,
Your Mom
