Dear Gabe,
Last month you got in a car crash. You fell asleep at the wheel and rear ended another driver.
This journal entry could be so different than it is. I am SO GRATEFUL that you are okay. I am so grateful that the other driver is okay. I am so grateful that no one was seriously injured. I am so grateful that you are still walking around my home, eating our food, sleeping in your bed. It could have been so different, and it wasn't.
You were so protected in that car crash. SO PROTECTED. I know as you get older and you can understand more and more with an adult mind what happened that you will realize more and more how protected you were.
And I am so grateful. I have been praising God since it happened. That you are alive. That you didn't kill someone else. I am so grateful.
With that car crash have come certain realizations and understandings about your readiness with certain parts of life. You are obviously taking a break from driving for a few weeks and then your dad and I are going to be very seriously watching your driving before you get to drive on your own again.
But I also have been just thinking about you A LOT. I have been watching you and some of the spectrum things you are displaying still. We took you to the doctor to make sure nothing physically was wrong with you. Falling asleep at the wheel the way you did is a HUGE deal. And we have to get it figured out.
You were falling asleep in classes last school year as well. You don't have the internet at night. We are worried about certain aspects of your health, your physical health and your mental health.
At this point the other things we need to check for are psychological possibilities for helping you and also making sure that you don't have sleep apnea. That is a concern for sure. We need to record your sleep to make sure that you are not snoring.
There are so.many things as a parent that you worry about. I feel like I am worrying about you a lot lately. You are going through so many changes. Your "grumpy teenager" time is upon us. There are so many days that you are just so grumpy. It makes my heart hurt a bit that my little boy is gone. You were such a pleasant little boy. But now that you are discovering more of who you are, there is a side of you that has come out that I haven't seen before.
Please know that we are doing our best as your parents. I know we aren't perfect. You aren't perfect. We both make mistakes in our relationship. But we are doing our best. I promise. We are your biggest cheerleaders.
We want you to succeed in life and in your relationships! We love you and want the best for you. And we are SO GRATEFUL that you are still here with us on this earth and that the car crash you were in wasn't worse.
I love you,
Your Mom
