Dear Gabe,
You just turned 18 years old a couple days ago. I can't believe it. 18 years. How did that go by. "The days are long but the years are short" is a familiar phrase that is very applicable in this situation.
It's interesting as a mother seeing your child grow up. Especially because there are so many memories that I have of you, that you just don't even remember. I have so many memories from when you were a baby, a toddler, a young child, an almost tween, a tween... and so forth. But my memories of you are things that you actually don't even remember. How strange. Because we were both there. We were both in the room together during those memories, but you don't have them the way I do.
I am pretty convinced that we have several different memory banks in our lives. I remember when you were 6 years old and you would talk about something and remember something from when you were only 2 or 3. But then I remember asking you when you were 10 years old if you remembered something when that happened when you were 6, and it's almost like a new brain formed. You didn't remember it anymore.
I saw the same things with the other kids too. It's like when the age of accountability comes, you forget what happened before you were 8 years old. I mean you have a few very select memories, but not very many. And I feel like the same thing happens when you become a teenager. You don't remember so many things that happened to you when you were 10 now.
I digress for the reason for writing. The purpose of this is to tell you how much I love you. Since you turned 15/16 years old, we have been butting heads a bit. You have been doing the "long slow break up" with the first woman in your life - me.
And there is nothing wrong with that. You need to in order to become a man you have to become so independent. And that has absolutely happened with you. Your independence is a detriment a lot of times, but live and learn right? You have absolutely been doing the "long and slow break up". That is 'the lot' of being a boy mom, your boy will sever the ties with you in order to give his heart to someone else.
It's also been crazy to see how much of a different brain you have right now. I remember when Mimi would tell me about her relationship with Jonathan and they struggled, we've been going through some of those struggles together as well.
BUT - within all of that. You are 18. You are a GOOD MAN. You work hard, you show up for people, you are a loyal friend, you care about deep subjects, you look on the bright side, you do your best when something is assigned to you, you love to talk about philosophy, you want your country to be better for the next generation, you love your Savior, you care about serving God, you love to work out, you try your best to eat well, you laugh at small things still and make other people laugh, you talk during movies (not everyone loves that, but it's part of who you are!), you love to be respected, you want to be brave and courageous, you have a Lion-Heart, you care about improving your spiritual development, you have a deep feeling heart that has empathy for people, you are non-judgmental and assume the best of people, you bless the sacrament, you set boundaries and you are getting to know yourself more and more.
I am proud of you. I am proud of the man you are. I know you will have so much more growing to do in your lifetime, but I am so proud of the way you want to continue to strive for what is right. I love you Gabe. I will always love you no matter what. I hope that you will keep choosing the gospel of Jesus Christ and I hope you will keep choosing to listen to the voice of the spirit in your life.
We really are your biggest cheerleaders! I know we haven't been perfect parents. But in a family you learn so much from each other, I hope, even in our weaknesses that you know that we've absolutely tried our BEST. We did the best we knew how. And it is your job now to build on that and make life better for your future family by building on the foundation you have been given.
I love you,
Your Mom
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