Soft Answers

Dear Gabriel,

After having a very lazy Sunday I decided that we needed to go for a walk. Your dad is gone for the night, so the four of us started out at a little after 8pm and walked down the street. Everything was going just fine for the first 10 minutes or so. But then slowly, but surely, you started to melt.

Natalia had taken a nap today and was handling everything great, but you are at the point where you don't take naps anymore in the afternoon. Most of the time you just hang out in your room and read books and play by yourself for a little while. It started to become very evident that you hadn't had a nap and you were just exhausted.

Everything started to become a really big deal. You got mad at the truck you took with you to push. You wanted me to carry it. Then I didn't carry it the right way. You wanted me to hold you. I couldn't carry you because I had the baby, you got mad at me. You held my hand. You pushed me a long... it just became a big back and forth battle in order to make it home.

Once we got closer to home I put the truck down and told you it was your responsibility to get it home. You did not like that AT ALL. You cried and cried, and carried on. It was a moaning cry... a very tired and whiny cry because you didn't want to handle your emotions any more. Then you just screamed at me, "Mom I don't want to!". It was a SCREAM.

Most of the time you don't do that, so I found myself taken back. My first reaction was to grab you by the arm and march you home as quick as I could. But something I have been working on came to my mind...

'A soft answer turns away wrath.'

It has been a goal of mine to answer softly instead of escalating my emotions when any of your emotions are out of control.

I looked at you and just said as soft as I could, "Gabriel, it's time to go home." And I turned and kept walking. You were still mad at me. Moaning and yelling the whole way. I took you in, helped you in your PJ's and got you in bed without saying anything. I just kept telling myself, "hold your tongue, trying to make him stop crying and throwing a fit will not help. He just needs to sleep." I put you in bed and closed the door and turned out the lights. You went to sleep in 0.2 seconds.

This is a good story for me to remember because most of the time (I am finding with all of you kids) when you are mad or upset or get mad very easy, it is because you are either hungry or tired or need me to hold you for a moment.

As a parent it is hard to not just get completely frustrated with all the emotion that is hurled at me constantly. But the scripture is true. A soft answer turns away wrath.

I love you,

Your Mom