Dear Kids,
I am irritated with all of you today. Not proud of it. But it is the truth.
Today was a hard mom day. I allowed everything to irritate me from the time I woke up. I feel like I have so much piling up around me. I don't have time to get everything done. I was irritated with everything around me, especially all of you, because with everything going on the last thing I was able to cope with were three little kids shouting at me all day long. I have eight loads of laundry to fold. I have dishes piled up in the sink. I need to desperately clean the toilets before something grows and jumps out of them. I have to write a couple articles. I need to follow up on some client work. Holiday to-dos are starting to stare me in the face.
But, most of all, I just need to calm down and breathe a little bit. All of you reacted to my "state of being". You have been disobedient and testing my buttons constantly. Everything you have done today has been in reaction to my emotional state. As the saying goes, "Mom is the heart of the home". I believe that. When my heart beats with irritations or fears, our home beats with them as well. When my heart beats with love and happiness, our home beats with them.
I firmly believe in the principle that I AFFECT MY ATMOSPHERE. I am in charge of what I feel, think and do.
So tonight I did what any logical parent does at the end of a long day and put on a movie for you. I thought I better find the lesson inside of all the emotion today.
I have not been putting first things first. Because of this I have not had a full bucket to draw from in order to react with love and happiness. My soul hasn't been fed really well for a while. I need to eat better. I haven't been going to bed on time for quite a few nights. I haven't been 'on my game' for a couple of weeks. It is time to do some 'soul inventory' and readjust a bit.
The most important thing is that you feel my love. It doesn't matter how much is on my list. It doesn't matter how dirty my house is. It doesn't matter how much I need to do. The most important thing is LOVING YOU.
So tomorrow love is the first thing on my 'list'. Wake up with love. Make breakfast with love. Go to appointments with love. I know from experience that when I allow love in my heart instead of irritation, I get things done 10x as fast and efficient.
The lesson is: When I put first things first, there is a miracle that happens. The miracle is everything falls into place perfectly. Everything will get done with peace instead of anger or irritation.
The movie is almost over in the other room and I am preparing myself
to have the energy I need to give you a bath and put you to bed... but
with a smile on my face and love in my heart. Even with the hard day, I can and I am choosing to end it so you remember as you go to sleep that your mom kissed your cheek, snuggled with you and loved you.
Always put first things first! Always! It makes the biggest difference in your whole life and day.
Even when I am off my game - remember that I always love you.
Your Mom
When I feel like that first thing in the morning, I have come to believe that that comes from leftover rotten feelings from not the best of dreams, and possibly too much of the Adversary's influence - so very first thing, I do that "peace" exercise your mom taught us and always conclude with a prayer for peace - and I keep doing that until the peace comes. I also use tapping if the battle is really a big one, and that combination seems to work almost every time! Most importantly, you are recognizing and working toward a solution. And don't forget to count your successes!
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