My Birthday!

Dear Kids,

My 37th birthday was yesterday. It was one of the most amazing birthdays I have ever had. 

Your dad has been working out of town a lot and he was gone yesterday. But he spent so much time planning a birthday for me to celebrate my life, it really humbled me and helped me to feel so much closer to him. 

In the morning I found out that I was going to have an escort come to the house at 11am to pick me up and I needed to be ready to go. My first present of the day I got at about 10am in a gift bag with a gift certificate to Ross to go shopping. My escort, your Aunt Colleen, came to get me at 11am and I had no idea where we were going. We drove for about 20 minutes and then ended up at Red Mountain Spa! Your dad had arranged for us to get massages at noon at the spa there. 

It was so wonderful. A surprise massage. Then we finished and we lounged and relaxed, drank tea and just enjoyed the amazing scenery there. We went to lunch, which he also arranged and then next on the agenda was going to Ross to buy clothes with my gift card, and I had to buy one outfit for my outings that night. 

When I got home I was instructed to get ready for a date to go to Benja's and a movie with my good friend Brenda Kenworthy. It was so wonderful! We ate, laughed and watched a great feel good movie. When I got home I walked into a house full of reasons why so many people in my life love me. 

The day was perfect. Colleen was telling me that your dad had perfectly in mind what he wanted me to experience for the day and how he wanted it to go for me. He put so much thought and energy into surprising me and taking such great care of me all day. I felt totally cherished. I felt totally loved even though he was far away. 

I love surprises so much because of the thought and energy put into something that is just for me! That is how the whole day was. I got so many texts, phone calls, so much love from so many people all day. I love birthdays! I love to celebrate being alive because I truly do love my life. I love everything in my life. Even when it is hard, loving life is a choice and I love it. 

I hope you will always love yours too!

I love you,

Your Mom

Real Life Moments

Dear Kids,

Life is full of up's and down's. There are going to be times when you have more energy and times when you have less. There are going to be days full of sorrow and days full of joy. 

Such has been my life for the past couple of months - I have thought so many times that I need to write but I haven't been able to get any words out of my heart and soul in order to do so. I have tried to force writing, but I have been going through a lot of healing, self discovery and focusing inward. 

I realized one day that I didn't need to prove to anyone how I was doing. I didn't need to explain my "absence" in writing or in my interaction with everyone around me. I didn't need to try and give excuses or have anyone really understand why. 

There are times when there is private pain. There are times when there is public pain. There are chapters when dealing with the challenges and adversities of life should be declared from the roof tops and other times when they are a silent battle between me, my husband and the Lord. 

Specifically with the up's and down's in marriage and the relationship between husband and wife... no one needs to be party to those adversities and challenges. Treating my relationship with your dad as sacred and private is part of what makes our marriage and CAN make our marriage completely unbreakable.

I know I am being very vague and that is okay. Sometimes details are necessary for others to know and sometimes they aren't. There are a lot of "Real Life Moments" that are very difficult. There are many of those "Real Life Moments" that are also so amazing that they make me want to crawl right out of my skin. Feeling the opposites of emotion, life, adversity, challenges, happiness, sorrow, complete joy and anger is key inside of really living life. 

I choose to live my life full of flow. The private flow of my life in the last six weeks will remain just that, private. There will be a time to make it public, but that time is not yet. 

I love you,

Your Mom