Dear Kids,
You know, I was thinking today about how easy it is to start to look at everything I used to find amazing, magical, emotional, hard, easy, brave, happy, and exciting inside of life as just everyday moments...
The thinking started because all of you did something really cute in the car today. In the car, you started telling me about your dreams and the super heros in your dreams and who you wish you could be. Your stories were adorable and the phrases were so hilarious... your words and facial expressions. You left me laughing and giggling.
But then we arrived at our destination, got out of the car, did our errands, got back to the house, went on with life. I started thinking about how something like that used to just get me. I would run to my journal (or blog) and write it all down so I didn't miss it or forget it. I used to post the funny phrases on facebook, or take video of it, take pictures of it... It used to be something to brag about, to post about, to share and laugh about.
But now it is just part of life.
I also thought about how when I used to share and post the lessons or funny moments of my day, that "more experienced" moms out there could have possibly found my posts and pictures of my fun little kids a little bit... well, naive I guess. After having three kids all say such funny things, or go through the same phases, or talk back to me, or have an attitude, or I realize that all these stages are part of life (and my oldest is still only 6 1/2, so we have a lot of stages left) what my kids do is suddenly "just what happens". It's life. It's family. It's kids being kids. It's me being mom.
Not sure this is making sense... but it is helping me to sort it out in my mind. So I shall keep typing...
The part I am not sure about is if it is a good thing to get to this point. I am really busy (doing mom stuff, just trying to some how keep up with the never ending pile of laundry, work and massage clients, schooling, volunteer time at the play, organizing my 20th reunion, supporting hubby, figuring out IRS problems...). Part of me is worried that the things I used to write posts about, the lessons I used to see in everyday situations, aren't hitting me as much because I am just not taking the time to see them.
A huge part of me wants to just slow down. A lot. The other part of me really likes being busy. The other part of me has to be busy because that is just the stage we are in right now and truly I don't have the luxury of not taking care of very important life obligations.
But I don't want to let all of this pass me by.
So for right now, for this moment, I am choosing to be grateful for this moment of thinking about my kids. Remembering that the most important work I can do is in my home. The most important thing I can do is bring my children to Christ. And if that isn't happening, then I definitely need to reorganize some things.
Kids = I want you to remember that I just love you. On the hard days when I seem irritated a lot - I still love you. On the easy days when we can just hang out - I love you. On the busy days when we are never home and we are running around like crazy - I love you. On the working days when I don't see you - I love you.
I just love you. Whether there is magic or not. Whether there are lessons I have noticed in the day or not. Whether I have captured cute moments or whether I have forgotten. Whether I have read with you and we sing songs at night, or I just put you in bed because I am tired. Whether we snuggle during a movie or I used that time to get computer work done. Whether I have the patience to let you help me make dinner or I have you leave the kitchen...
I just love you. And Jesus loves you too. If only those two things are cemented in your head, then I have done my job for the day.
Your Mom
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