Dear Kids,
My days are so fluid right now. So fluid. There is SO MUCH going on... and it's not going to stop. So I have to learn how to embrace the craziness. That is the simple reality of it... embrace the craziness.
The homeschooling adventure is one that stretches you like you have NEVER experienced before. And I believe that pretty much everything that is new and big that anyone tries, this is a true statement... that it will stretch you like you have never known before. I have had these same thoughts and feelings about school, college, roommates, mission, jobs, career, marriage, family, business failures and successes, natural birth, parenting (and how it changes with every child), church callings... EVERYTHING in life is designed to stretch us and make us stronger.
Well, homeschooling is no exception. I think about the experiences that I have on a daily basis and I don't have room to write them all down, or the time! So choosing situations that I feel like have led me to God is tough, because it all has.
The moments today that have led me to God are many... taking my one year old to the chiropractor to make sure he is okay after an injury, working with my 5 year old after ANOTHER tantrum (that I thought we would be past by now), that same child screaming at me (major anger in him, still trying to navigate all of that with his little soul), trying to keep up with feeding the children, daughter have emotional breakdowns for who-knows-why just because she's a ball of emotion and we haven't even hit 8 years old yet(!), failures and successes at karate class, not getting to everything on the calendar and being flexible with that is happening around me, keeping up with the house, catching up with the laundry, teaching children how to cook dinner, picking kids up from play dates, forgetting something at play date, playing a game together as a family tonight with dad before he goes to singing practice... MAN our lives are just busy, simply because there are so many people involved! (Mothers of more than 4 children amaze me, seriously). And all of these moments have led me to God simply when I take a minute to ask Him what I should do about the tantrum, say a little prayer about being at the play date, talking with friends about God at karate practice, trying to say prayers with kids for various feelings they have, reading scriptures together, apologizing to my kids when I get impatient and directing them to look at how Jesus makes up the difference...
Writing helps me to get out of my head and heart what I feel but push away. I push a lot of emotion away right now because I have many other people's emotions I'm trying to navigate, let alone my own. So thanks for listening.
One of these days you are going to have your own kids and you are going to know exactly what I'm talking about in my thoughts.
Until then, I love you
Mom
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