Things to remember for Talia's birthday

 Dear Kids, 

Happy Birthday to Talia today! 11 years old! It's crazy how fast time flies. 

People always told me that. And I knew it in my head, but I had no idea how right they were, now that I have the space to look back with my heart on everything that's happened in our lives, and we're really just getting started. 

It's a funny thing that when you kids were all younger I could finish a day and have several stories that I could have written down... and not just written down, but made a story out of it for others to be able to learn from. It seemed so easy to see the learning moments and all the things that I needed to remember. 

But now, I feel like I finish the day and the stories aren't flowing to my mind and heart like they used to. Perhaps it's because everything that came across as magical and new when I was a new mom, all the feelings that I had never felt before, all the swinging of different emotions that I was trying to figure out all the time. 

Now, all those mom feelings are just normal. All the moments are regular, everyday, mom moments that I have grown the muscles to figure out. The sensitivity to all the different situations has really dampened up. 

But when I look back on my journal, when I've kept track of the small stories, the one moment situations during the day, it is amazing what happens. I relate to people better, I remember the feelings, the range of understanding is increased and I see life in a new way again. 

So I really want to try to find those moments in my day again. Today, I want to remember that one of the coolest things that Talia loved for her birthday was when we went to Swig together. She loved the special drink and the quality time with just her. She loved doing alone time. She loved being with me. She always loves just going places with me. I want to remember that. I want to remember that all she wants is for me to cuddle her, she just wants me to touch her back, to go somewhere special together... those are the highlights of her life right now. I want to remember that. Always. 

Talia... even though I might not be able to do everything with you that you really want to do all the time, please know how much I LOVE that you just want to be with me. 

I love you sweet girl of mine. I love your smile and your spirit. I love your goodness and your determination. I love your happiness and friendship. Thank you for everything that you are always teaching me. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom