Losing Lego's and Life

 Dear Kids, 

I had a memory come back to me tonight when Joshua lost some of his legos. 

He came in, VERY sad, because he had dropped some lego's from a plane that he just made today, and it was a set that he bought today with his very own money. He was SO SAD about losing these legos. He said he dropped them under the stairs that were going outside to the back yard of Mimi's house. 

So I went out and got the flashlight and crawled under the steps with him. We looked and looked, but couldn't see where they had fallen. He was so sad, but then said, "Well, I guess I will have to make something else." It was SO SAD to see him and how he was reacting to losing something that he had worked so hard for. 

After this experience I had a flashback come to me of a time that Elijah had a similar experience happen. He was about 5 years old and he had earned up money to buy a lego set. It was a yellow airplane. He was so excited about it. He got home and built it and was just out-of-his-skin excited. 

We had to leave after he finished to go to a football game that Gabe was in, and while we were driving he put his airplane out the car window so he could fly it against the wind. Well, as soon as he stuck his arm out the window his lego plane just came apart and fell all over the road. He just started to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he told me with tear brimmed eyes. So we stopped the car and we went back and looked for the legos to the set. 

We couldn't find all of them and he had to go through the disappointment of losing it, just like Joshua did tonight. 

It is so hard as a mother to see this kind of heart ache in your kids eyes and heart. I did everything I could to help to find the missing pieces, to look for them, search, stay right beside my child while they were so sad about losing something they had worked hard for. 

But as I was thinking about it tonight I realized that so much of all of these situations is to actually teach my children that I WILL HELP THEM with EVERYTHING I have in my soul. They know I will stick by their sides and help them. They know I will do everything I can. They know that I am loyal to them and love them through it. 

Atleast, I HOPE they know that and they will always remember that. 

So kids, tell me that you know that. Your mom and dad will stick by you and help you when you lose something, when something around you breaks and when you work so hard for something but it still doesn't work out. We will be by your side as you do that throughout your entire lives. And know that God will too. God, Heavenly Mother, and Jesus are BY YOUR SIDE always. They don't save you from the hurt, they will always be there to help you through it however. They are just like your mom and dad on earth, always showing you that we will help, no matter what. 

I love you kids. I am sorry when you hurt and lose things that are important to you. But keep coming to me and I will do my best to help you, and keep going to God because He will always help you too. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Spiritual Gifts

 Dear Kids, 

It's interesting to watch different spiritual gifts that each of you have. Joshua is definitely a dreamer. He dreams ALL THE TIME. He definitely has the most poignant dreams out of all the kids. It's fascinating to see. I'm hoping he'll start to have some very powerful dreams he can really lean on in his life. 

Talia, your spiritual gifts definitely involve music, especially your voice. You have a beautiful voice and you will be able to help a lot of people with your voice. You also can feel people. You know them and what is going on with them, how they are feeling and what's going on inside of them. I hope that you will develop that spiritual gift even more. 

Elijah, your spiritual gifts have to do with spiritual warfare for sure. You are a warrior and always have been. There was one time your dad gave me a blessing about helping you and he said in his blessing, "Andrea, remember that Elijah is a lion. He has so much inside of him as a Lion of the Lord."

Gabriel, you have spiritual gifts for learning that are out of this world. Those are gifts that you are going to want to keep honing in on, and keep developing for sure. Your gifts of learning and your mind are beautiful and there are so many lives you can help and change because of those gifts. 

I've been thinking about my spiritual gifts and how God would have me use them. One of my gifts is the gift of tongues and going to Guatemala is going to help a lot with that gift. I think that Talia also might have the gift of tongues as well. Gabriel, is possible that you have that gift too because there was a blessing that Papa gave you one time that told you that you will know many languages and people. That was a very interesting blessing to listen to. You have a worldwide view for very good reason. 

Your dad and I both have the gift of discernment, your dad's gift of discernment is VERY profound. The more that I know him and what he able to understand about people, the more amazed I am about it. 

Anyway, I can't wait to keep seeing the spiritual gifts that you all have!

I love you, 

Your Mom

Shayla With Papa In Hospital & Personal Revelation

 Dear Kids, 

So Papa has had issues with his heart since he had a heart attack about 15 years ago. He's had to go to a heart doctor for a while to keep everything monitored and okay. 

He had a procedure about 5 days ago where they had to go in and check some things out. The night before he went in he asked your dad for a blessing. 

I was sitting there and nervous about it all. There were more than one example from people I know that someone went in for something that was "routine" situation to check something out and then something catastrophic would happen. 

While your dad was giving Papa a blessing I felt Shayla very specifically and she said, "Don't worry Andrea. I'll be with him tomorrow."

It felt so good to hear it and feel it. I got up with Papa the next morning and drove him to the hospital. They are still following several C-19 regulations so I couldn't go in with him. I just kept saying, "Shay, you know what it's like to be in the hospital all by yourself. Please stay with him." And AGAIN I felt, "Andrea, no worries! I got this."

After I dropped him off I just started crying, thinking about how many times she had to go through so many things in the hospital. How many procedures she was always a part of. How many times she had to sit with doctors and hear so many hard things. I just cried for her, especially that I wasn't there as much as I would have liked to be. But she comforted me. She really did. 

Well, last night your dad and I were talking to Papa about his procedure and he told us, "When I was going there, I was so nervous, I just didn't want them to do the procedure like they did last time through my groin area. I just didn't want to experience that again. But Shayla was with me. It was like she was just sitting by me the entire time holding my hand. I haven't felt her that strongly since the last time I was with her and I was sitting by her, holding her hand through those last days of her life. She was there, just like I sat by her."

It felt so good to hear him say that because I didn't want to tell him what I had felt because I didn't want him to be disappointed if he didn't feel anything. But when he told us that I told him the impressions that I had as well. I was so grateful for the second witness, and to know that when I had impressions like that, it is actually correct. I'm not making it up! It's not just in my head! It is REAL. The people on the other side are REAL. These feelings and experiences I have are REAL. 

I'm not sure why I have had to have SO MANY moments like this when the spirit witnesses something to me and then I have a second witness afterwards and the spirit reminds me again that IT IS ALL REAL. It is MORE real than anything else in this world. 

I have thought a lot about the reason for SO MANY CONFIRMATIONS. Especially when I KNOW in my mind and my heart that everything that I believe is real, but that the confirmations I'm having are specifically about MY experiences and MY feelings and MY impressions, that I can completely TRUST those impressions when they come as FACT. The spirit is guiding me and helping me to have an unshakable faith in MY personal revelation.

I love you kids. I want you to know that when you have impressions, listen to them. Believe them. Heed them. Follow them. Always.

I love you, 

Your Mom

Looking For Further Confirmations For The Future

 Dear Kids, 

On Sunday your dad and I fasted about the next step for our family, specifically about going to Guatemala. 

We have been told that we should quit dad's job and live on our savings down there. That has felt really scary to me. When we fasted about it I had to admit to myself that the thing that scares me is going without income and not doing the right thing financially. So I told the Lord when we fasted that I NEED several strong confirmations, like the confirmations we received when we left St. George. We received SO MANY strong confirmations, it was unmistakable. I need the same confirmations about quitting the job to go down there to work on the podcasts. 

Something I have felt while being in Idaho Falls is that we need to get as much temple work done as possible while we are here. And I've felt several times just this urgency to make it to the temple because the next place we go we won't have those chances. 

We went and did sealings again tonight and as we were walking out of the temple the spirit said to me, "Andrea, don't you think the feeling you have of going as much as you can to the temple because you won't be able to go as much IS THE TYPE of strong confirmation you are looking for? You have been getting that witness about doing as much temple work as possible... don't you think that is just as strong of a witness as you have received before?". 

And it's true. It is a very strong witness. 

This weekend we cleaned out Papa and Mimi's storage room area. I was telling your dad that the spirit keeps telling me several times that we are on a service mission right now. We have been asked to give up everything, just like when we went on a mission when we were younger. We are on a mission right now as a family. You might not feel it and know it as much as your dad and I do, just because of the stages of life you are in, but we feel it. We have been called on a service mission. 

Your dad tonight said the same thing, "Andrea, don't you think that confirmation that we are on a service mission IS the strong confirmation that we are doing exactly what God would have us do right now? And when He's ready for us to redirect, we will know when it's time?" 

I think that is the part I need to get used to... going with the flow of the spirit, WITHOUT being afraid. The flow of the spirit is telling me that we are going to be quitting the job and going to Guatemala and working on the podcasts. When I settle into that with my heart it feels right, but my mind doesn't want to believe it because it seems a bit crazy. But that is when I feel. And that is what I need to trust. Those feelings NEVER steer me in the wrong direction. All throughout my life those feelings have always lead me in the right way. But since the confirmations I'm receiving seem crazy, I'm having a hard time settling into them. 

But it's right. It is right. And I believe because God is so good He is going to keep giving me more confirmations as we move along. 

I love you kids. Remember that God will steer you in the right way. Learning how to listen to Him is VITAL for your life. It takes a lot of practice. If you don't know what the spirit sounds like to you, just practice listening to any thought or inspiration that comes to your head. And if you practice that spiritual skill will get stronger and stronger. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Hortense, Singing Spider, & Greatest Dad

 Dear Kids, 

I want to write tonight about Hortense "The Singing Spider". 

Your dad is fired because he doesn't even remember what happened to cause Hortense to become "alive" and one of the biggest things for bedtime routine! But it is. Hortense and her brother "Bobby". When Hortense comes out (and you won't let me try doing it, because I don't do it right. It is your dad's thing) it's AMAZING what happens to all of you. 

You are excited to tell Hortense all about your day.  You can't wait to explain everything to Hortense and how your are feeling about things. It really quite phenomenal what happens when Hortense comes out. You truly bear your soul to her, the Singing Spider. You have to sing to make her come out and then when she does, you just think it's the GREATEST thing ever. 

Watching it happen has been so good for me to realize how much children process everything through play. You express your feelings to Hortense in a way that you would never express completely to your dad and I. But Hortense is different (even though it is your dad who is actually playing Hortense... to all of you, she is REAL), you just love telling her all about everything. 

When I see your dad entertaining you with his stories and with Hortense, The Singing Spider, I think to myself, "These kids have the GREATEST dad in the world."

Remember kids, there will be plenty of times in your life when you will be frustrated with your dad about things. You will be mad at him because he won't let you go on a date with certain people. Or you will be mad because he pushes you to work hard, or because he won't allow you to come up with excuses. He expects high things of you. But also remember that he played with you too. He LOVES telling you stories. He loves it when you play along with make believe, especially with Hortense. He plays hide and seek with you. He carries you to bed. He loves you. He snuggles with you. He will always be there for you. 

You have the greatest dad. He has been learning how to be a dad through following the spirit. Remember that he didn't have an example of what a dad was all about. His dad (Grandpa Milton) gave into his demons and wasn't present for your dad. And by the time your dad was 8 years old he had to be the man of the house. Then when he was 17 years old he had to process the death of his father, especially since it was suicide. 

Your dad wants to change the tide and break the chains. He is doing AMAZING at it. There are times I watch him and the spirit tells me and shows me really how much he has gone through and how much he has improved his soul, and I want to tell you right now that his spirit is magnificent. 

Thank you for coming to our family. Thank you for being our children. Because I KNOW your dad LOVES being your dad. He loves you so much. 

I love you too, 

Your Mom

Detoxing From Life A Bit

 Dear Kids, 

Being at Papa and Mimi's house for the last month has been REALLY good for you. 

I didn't realize how much stimulation you were getting from the neighborhood and all the activities that we were part of. Watching you here has been very eye opening to see the detox that has happened.

-You have been detoxing from your expectations involved in "things". The neighborhood we were in was a good neighborhood, but the families were very focused on "things". There were constantly new toys that were being bought by the neighbors. Constantly STUFF that was "cool" and if you didn't have it you weren't "cool". Even with homeschooling, we just noticed how much there was a focus on stuff and on toys and on screens. It's been SO NICE to get away from that and have you guys not be so worried about the next "thing" to get. 

-You have been detoxing from friends. Now don't get me wrong, you have good friends in St. George. But, especially Talia, was spending so much time with friends that it was getting to be too much. You have been detoxing your expectations of how much to spend time with friends. There was too much stimulation going on with friends and not enough of just family time. I only have so much time with you guys and you only have so much time to be together as siblings until you will be off and doing your own thing. I am so glad to have this time away from other people to just focus on family time together. 

-You have been detoxing with arguing. You have been going on the front porch of Mimi's house whenever you have an argument that you need to solve to work it out together. I'm trying not to get involved in the little arguments anymore and have you guys figure it out. It has been fascinating to see what has happened since you have been doing that. You've been working things out together more often and in a better way. You have been playing together A LOT better because of figuring out your communication together. It has been a very healthy and good thing. 

-You have been detoxing from debating with me. You have been running around the house A LOT. Whenever you argue or debate with me you get to run around the house. It is a reset for you and allows you to think about it and figure it out. Whenever you say, "It's not fair!" you get to run around the house. Whenever you are disrespectful to me you get to run around the house... pretty much running is the answer to everything! 

Your expectations of the world around you is changing and I really love giving you more time to be KIDS for a little while longer. Gabe and Talia, you are both growing up so fast and you don't have much more time of just childhood. I've wanted you to keep your childhood as long as you possibly can so you can use your imaginations as much as possible. I've wanted you to have detox time outside and just enjoy nature out there in the backyard. It is a good place to be, at Mimi's house, to help us focus on each other and our lives together more. I'm so grateful for it. 

Please remember as you grow older and as you read this with more wisdom and perspective, that your dad and I did everything that we could to help you, love you, teach you, train you, and walk beside you along the way. We are doing everything we can and everything that God is telling us to do. I know that everything you are experiencing is helping you for your own futures. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Mind's Eye Experience In The Temple

 Dear Kids, 

So your dad and I went to the temple tonight to do some sealings. It felt so great to be in the temple, but more than anything, the power of the people that we sealed was VERY tangible. 

I have these moments when in my mind's eye... with my spiritual eyes, I can "see" things happening. It's hard to describe because it shows up in my mind like a picture, almost like when you sit and think of a memory. When you think of a memory about something a picture of it comes to your mind, the moment of everything, the feelings you experienced, the faces of the people there, the colors, the sounds, all the things. When I have these spiritual moments it is much the same. 

I have these pictures come into my mind. And it happened tonight at the temple. We were sitting in the sealing room and I saw with my mind's eye that the ceiling of the sealing room was not there anymore and the angels and people on the other side were receiving their ordinances that we were performing. There wasn't someone "performing" the ordinance on the other side because the sealer was doing it here in the physical world, but there was someone almost above him that was recording it as he was going through the sealing ordinance. Then the people around were receiving the ordinance and when it was completed they hugged and were so happy, there were "audience members" watching them that were so excited for them and then they were able to move forward into a different place, I couldn't see where they were going from there, all I could see was what was happening while the ordinances were being performed. 

When this moment happened I shook my head a bit because sometimes I've wondered if when that happens that I am making it up in my mind with my own imagination of how I want things to be. But then the spirit reminded me that, no, I wasn't making it up in my mind, that it was being given to me to see in my mind's eye. That is the way that I am able to "see" with my "spiritual eyes". It was beautiful!

Then your dad and I were able to go and do sealings for the "Cox" family, for a bunch of siblings. As soon as we started the sealer said the name of the first sibling then paused and went through and looked at all the cards and realized they were all siblings. He pointed that out and that in other situations, without Covid in the picture, they would have found enough temple workers so that we could do them all together. But with everything the way it is we would need to seal them one sibling at a time. 

Well, when he paused and was looking at the cards I had SUCH a powerful impression about all the siblings being there and the whole family being there. The room was packed. And your dad mentioned that he very specifically felt that in life, while they were here living on the earth, that they were very strong siblings and had very strong connections. Then I had the impression that it was like the connections that I have with my siblings and I felt Shayla very strongly. 

With everything single ordinance that was done for those siblings the spirit just kept getting stronger and stronger. It was amazing. that family was amazing! As soon as your dad and I got to the celestial room where we could sit and talk the FIRST thing we turned and said to each other was, "That Cox Family!!". It was powerful. 

Tonight was very bucket filling and spiritually invigorating. I'm so grateful for moments like this and I want to make sure to not down play it at all. I want to remember that God has given me many gifts and He doesn't want me to squander them away, but I can take them very spiritually and faithfully, to remember them and to use the spiritual Mind's Eye experiences in order to help others around me to have the faith they need to keep going. 

I love you kids. I love so much and I hope you can feel about each other like the Cox family feels about each other, 

Your Mom