Guatemala is OUT and Mexico is IN!

 Dear Kids, 

We've had A LOT of change in the last couple of weeks! It's been a lot to handle, but we are on the other side of it now. 

At the end of December we heard rumblings that Guatemala was going to start requiring the Cov-19 vax for everyone over 10 years old. On January 3rd, it was confirmed. The government had changed it's travel requirements. It threw all our plans out the window because we are NOT going to be getting that shot. There are too many variables and questions with the safety of it (that is a post for another time). We have LOTS of reasons why we've decided against it, but what you need to know is that we aren't moving forward with it at this time. 

Because of this announcement from the government we asked God if our plans needed to change and not travel right now. The answer was very clear, that we still needed to move forward. As we prayed about it all the "why's" of this experience kept coming back into my mind. The biggest three WHY'S are:

1. To have experiences as a family together.

2. To be exposed to another language and culture.

3. To be free to GET the Spiritually Centered Podcasts finished. 

As those why's kept coming back to me the spirit said, "Andrea - those things can be done from LOTS of places, not just Guatemala."

So we kept moving forward with trying to figure out where to go. Needless to say it was SUPER deflating. We had already done SO much research about Guatemala and we knew where we were going and the people that would be there. Starting totally over was really overwhelming. It took your dad and I a few days to really shake that discouragement off and start looking. 

We looked at lots of places... we asked Papa's manager (Sal) and El Salvador. We got online and researched different worldschooling hubs. We looked and looked. And we got lots of different feedback (both good and bad) from different people about various areas. We had mixed reactions from family members... all that good stuff. But God kept telling, specifically your dad that "The Way Will Be Open". 

Then everything came together. We found a place in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. The lady in charge of the house gave us a GREAT discount because of a long term stay, and we are paying the same amount as we were planning on Guatemala! yahoo! We got the plane tickets for next Saturday, and we have been putting together transportation and getting a hold of the Bishop in the area. It's been a WHIRLWIND getting everything ready to go and wrapping our heads around the change. (Stacey, Dani's Best Friend, helped me to make these cute tshirts!)

But now that we have gotten things arranged we are starting to get more excited about it. It is going to be MUCH more "touristy" that we originally wanted going to Guatemala. But we thought that maybe God knew that the kids needed a "softer" landing that Guatemala would have been. I just have to believe that this is exactly the way it needed to work out and God is teaching us along the way.

So.... Mexico here we come! We are going to be there until June 30th. It will be interesting to get down there and experience it... we are excited!

I hope you can look back on this part of our lives and know that it helped you. I know it's been difficult with all the change, but I also know that God is leading us and so it will be for your benefit always!

I love you, 

Your Mom

Joshua Feeling Mimi When Sleeping

 Dear Kids, 

This story is something from Joshua. 

I did alone time with all of you today. After the rough day everyone had yesterday, I just decided that each of you needed some quality time and alone time with mom, your love buckets were a bit empty. It was perfect to spend time with everyone and to have a chance to just talk to you all, especially about how you are doing. 

When I was talking to Joshua I asked him if he ever felt Mimi around him. He said, "Oh yes, I feel her when I sleep."

I said, "Really buddy? When and how do you feel her?"

"She just comes to me in my sleep. The other night she was rubbing my arms helping me to fall asleep."

I could just see her doing that too. I could see it in my mind's eye, the way she would take time to make sure he was okay - especially with how much he needs help with good dreams. Of course Mimi would make sure his dreams are okay.

He said that when we do personal prayers and we pray for angels to be with him that Mimi comes to help. I told him, "She is your guardian angel you know."

"Yeah mom... I know." And then he smiled. 

So simple. And so beautiful. He has been VERY insistent about saying prayers with me before bed - even when Brent says prayers with him, it isn't right and he has to say prayers with me. I think this is why. It's because Mimi comes to him when we say prayers together. And that just feels really good knowing that he is close enough to the spiritual world to know when she is there with him. 

Here's the thing... I know she is like that for EACH OF YOU. Her grandkids were ALWAYS her priority when she was living on this earth, and I know you are each a priority now. Keep a soft heart and open heart in order to feel the other side, especially her when she's close. She'll always be there for you. I know that. She's there for me too. 

I love her so much. I hope you all know that. I love my momma. I miss her. And I know you miss her too. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom

Leaving Idaho, Mom Hanging Out While Packing, Getting To Dani's House

(picture taken leaving Idaho)

 Dear Kids, 

So we are now in Tooele with Dani and her clan (Alan, Stacey, Walker and Gavin). We left Idaho on January 7th. That night I headed to a retreat in Heber, Utah. Got to be with some great friends, we talked about gospel and higher laws. It was really nice, but man - I was exhausted! 

We spent the last week at Mimi and Papa's house (I can't come to call it just Papa's house yet) packing everything up, getting the last minute fixes in, and helping to watch the girls for the first part of the week. There was more to wrap up than I had any idea actually. We finished up getting things into shape and packing. It's amazing how much we had become accustomed to being there and living there. It was really hard to wrap things up to go. 

Thursday before we left I was cleaning up the herb room and I felt mom/Mimi right there around me the whole time. She hovered around me all day Thursday while we were getting ready to go. She was just whispering so many things over my shoulder. How proud she was of me for the work we did, for being there for Shay's kids, for helping Papa through the holidays, for what we had dedicated our hearts to, for turning to God, for so many different things. She told me she didn't know why I hadn't talked to her as much as I talk to Shay and I said, "Well, she got a head start and I got into the habit of talking to her before you joined her. You should have gone first! haha!" ... And mom laughed. She laughed at that. And Shay did too. They loved that. But I am going to try. Already I have been talking to her more. 

I was time to go. We did what God needed us to do there in Idaho. 

We've been on a mission - That's the only thing I can compare it too. My friend, Lynne (my mission companion) told me when we were talking that she was so amazed at how well I was handling everything. I just told her that I've been literally carried. The only thing I can compare it too is the way I was carried while I was on my mission. I am on the Lord's errand.... Our WHOLE FAMILY is. We are being carried by the Spirit. That's the only way we are getting through this, together. 

The first couple of days at Dani's house has been rough for you all - you've all had a hard time adjusting emotionally to this change again. And in all honesty, our family is ready for our own space instead of living with other people right now. We'll get there as soon as we go where God is sending us next. 

We have a "mission transfer" coming up and then we have the podcast to work on. That is the next part of this mission time. We have to finish the podcasts and get it out there. 

I love you kids. I know each of you are going to look back on this part of our life and have different memories and different experiences. You will all have different emotional connections and different lessons from all of this. But God KNEW this was going to happen in our lives, in YOUR lives, so I suggest you get your lessons from it. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Reflections On The Year Of Death

 Dear Kids, 

At the beginning of a New Year it is always such a great time for looking inward and outward at everything in life. 

I was telling your dad last night that I used to be ALL ABOUT New Years resolutions. But I've changed my tune. Now I am all about New Years celebrations. I like to celebrate what I accomplished for the year before and then give the New Year to God. Usually I choose a word for the year to base everything around - but this last year (2021) I didn't choose a word because the biggest thing I felt was "death". It was going to be a year of death. Your dad and I could both feel it, but especially your dad. In fact he was feeling it so much that I was afraid that we were going to go through the death of a child as well. 

We have been through quite the spiritual journey the last several years, and as part of that journey we have given our life to God. And we told Him we would go where He wants us to go. I had no idea that part of that mission He would send me to completely be in service to my family. We've been on a service mission and it's refined us in ways that are beautiful, stretching, hard, and all of them are right. 

Thankfully we didn't lose a child in the process. Thank the Lord for that. At the beginning of the year your dad told me about an impression he had in the shower actually, that he felt tragedy coming. And it was such a stark feeling he felt that I was worried about several things. But what ended up happening was the loss of Shayla, watching her suffer, having my life changed seeing her that way and being around a house full of death angels. Being with her, taking care of her, being a part of that whole process changed me forever. FOREVER. I am a better person because of being a part of her death journey. And I miss her like crazy.

Then the loss of our home. We moved and we got rid of everything. God shed from us all the physical things in life. He told us to get rid of everything and what a process that was. It was like another death, the death of the way we supposed our life "should" be. The death of getting rid of things that I didn't even realize the attachments I had to "things". The shedding process was quite amazing actually. Putting our entire lives completely in God's hands in a way that we never have before

Then being on the road and all of you learning about what it means to not have your own "space". You had to give up A LOT to go on this journey, and you've done amazing at it. 

Then coming to Idaho and being with Mom (Mimi) for the last couple months of her life. Going through that death process with her. Seeing the similarities between her and Shayla. Watching the process of death again and seeing the suffering. Watching her love for all her family be portrayed in such a way that was beautiful and heart wrenching. Being part of watching her go. It all changed me AGAIN. I've been completely changed. Being part of all the spiritual moments that came because of the process. 

Then going through watching my dad (Papa) suffer because of heart ache. Feeling my own heartache. The death of so many feelings and thoughts. And seeing Grandma Kvarfordt die. And feeling the heaviness of another loss. 

Yes, it has been the year of death. 

But within this year of death, I've been amazed at what has happened within all of us. We have been refined. We've gotten to know each other on new levels. We've served in ways that we've never served before. We've been on a mission, there is no other way to say it. And because of that I've felt a sustaining in my life that has been VERY similar to when I was a missionary. I've been able to handle SO MUCH. The Lord has anointed out sacrifice and I've felt it in amazing ways. The spiritual strength and returns I've received, the immediate goodness of God that I have felt and partaken of has been SO FULL. My heart is SO FULL. It is difficult to put into words actually. I have never felt such gratitude before. And yet my heart has been in such grief all at the same time. 

I praise God that He sent us on this journey and that we listened. 

And we aren't done yet. We have more to do. I can feel that. We are working together with the FLOW of God. 

That is my phrase for the year "FLOW OF GOD". And it's amazing because the Flow of God is totally different from me taking over and trying to "get things done". His flow is so peaceful, and yet I am able to "get more done" in better ways. 

I love you kids. I know you will look back on this time of our family life and all of you will have different memories and experiences and feelings attached to it. I hope I give you all the space to feel what you need to feel and think what you need to think about it. 

But I also want you to know that we are following God's counsel. So within your experiences, always look for the hand of God. How have you been changed? What has improved in your life and heart? Even in the hard things, it is RIGHT. 

I love you so much. I hope your deposits from God are powerful inside your heart inside of your testimonies at this time. 

Love,

Your Mom