Playing Animals With Joshua & Creating Memories

 Dear Kids, 

Today Gabriel was telling me about a little story that I wrote about him in my journal, many years ago. And as he was telling me this story I wrote down I realized, "I haven't written very many stories from our lives lately". Mainly thinking about the innocence of Joshua and how he is going to be growing out of that innocence very soon, and I haven't captured some of his stories lately. 

So I want to tell you a story about Joshua. 

Since he is the youngest, he is ALWAYS asking his older brothers and sister to play with him. Especially to play "Animals". Animals is a game that Gabe and Elijah have played for YEARS (Talia used to play it, but doesn't anymore). Joshua has learned the game from Gabe and Elijah, by watching them. And lately he has wanted to play his own game of Animals, as much as possible. 

For days I heard him say, "Gabe, will you play animals with me?"... or "Elijah, will you play animals with me?"... then he started coming to me and saying, "Mom will you play animals with me?". 

The answer to MOST of these requests from him were, "Not right now Joshy, I'm doing my school." Or "Not right now buddy, I'm finishing the dishes."

He started getting rejected ENOUGH that he was getting super, super sad. So I made up my mind that when he asked me again, I would tell him "yes!". 

Joshua came up to me today and said, "mom will you play animals with me?" and I said, YES!!

He was SO EXCITED. His cute little eyes looked up at me with such happiness and excitement. He was just thrilled. He went and gathered his stuff animals. He has like 7 really small stuffed animals that he brought with him here to Mexico. We sat at the table and he asked, "Okay, what should we play?". So I said, "Let's play 'Travel to Mexico'!"

He was all about that. Then he proceeded to play the game and just completely blew my mind. He remembered ALMOST EVERY DETAIL of getting ready to come here. In the game while replaying everything from his mind with his animals, he recounted what he packed, where we were, what we were doing, what he remembered, the airplane, where they stowed everything, waiting in lines, taking rides everywhere... SO MANY DETAILS. 

It was amazing to me. I had the spirit tell me, "Andrea - he's always watching."

Just like all of you. You are ALWAYS WATCHING. It is easy for me to forget that. I get involved in "getting things done" everyday, so much so that I forget that we are creating engrained memories that are going to last a life time. 

It is a happy thought and a crazy thought all at the same time. There are some things I don't want you to remember. But there are other things I want you to hold onto like crazy. The funny thing is, you will remember the most random things. 

For example - I remember when I was about Talia's age and my mom was going through a homemaking course on some cassette tapes. She was listening to how to run a home better. I remember her listening to these tapes, and then one day when I was right behind her while she was walking down the hallway I distinctly remember her saying, "Paula, go back and pick that up off the ground."

There was a toy on the ground that she then turned around and she picked it up. 

I have NO IDEA why it was THIS MEMORY that stuck with me, but it did. It has an impact on me. I remember being impacted by it. Now looking back I can put words as to the reason it impacted me. I now know that it affected me because she was doing her best. She wanted to take care of her home the best way she knew how. She was applying what she was learning. And I loved her for it. 

So kids, I know you are going to remember things that will be random like that. But I hope that you can find the silver lining in all the memories. To remember that everything we did, it was because we loved you. We are learning, your dad and I, how to be parents. I hope you know that we are doing our best. And we LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 

Thank you Joshua, for playing "Animals" with me today and reminding me of the little things. Yes we've done some pretty cool things in Mexico. But I secretly hope that one of the memories here for you is remembering your mom playing Animals with you. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom

Don't Give Into Pride Of The World!

 Dear Kids, 

There is so much pride in the world right now. It's quite astonishing to me actually. Being away from the typical "Mormon Culture" I can see where pride is sinking into the hearts of so many members back home. 

Being critical of the doctrine of the gospel. 

Defaming the Prophet and Apostles in the public square (which is social media for us).

Demanding things constantly. 

How are we like the children of Israel? How much are we like them when we are always pushing for the prophet to get more and more revelation about what should happen? When in reality the prophet is pushing for us to GET CLOSER TO HIM OURSELVES. 

My heart aches thinking about it. Our world is so caught up in "not judging" people or situations around us, that we have forgotten a very important point:

It is NOT our place to condemn. That is God's job. But it is our place to RIGHTEOUSLY JUDGE. We are told to have discerning eyes, mind and hearts. To discern the difference between good and evil. That is righteous judgement. 

And from my viewpoint I can see VERY CLEARLY how there are too many members of the church who are getting led astray onto cloudy paths because of pride. 

I need better words to describe the very detailed situations that I see. I will ask for the Lords' help to open my mouth and articulate better. 

More than anything from this post I want you to do a personal check in. Ask yourself: Am I steeped in pride? Am I trying to put my thoughts and views above what the Lord has counseled? 

Those are a few of my thoughts tonight. 

I love you kids. So much. Please know that, just like the scriptures say with the Sons of Helaman, that YOUR MOTHER KNEW IT. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the answer to every issue in this world. It is the answer. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is real and tangible, when you give ample time for building of that relationship. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Practicing "Peace In Christ" & Angel Mimi visiting

 Dear Kids, 

We've been practicing all week to sing "Peace in Christ" or "Paz en Cristo" (en espanol) in sacrament meeting for Easter Sunday tomorrow. 

Yesterday I started getting a sore throat and today it's just gotten worse and I haven't felt well. In fact, the whole time we've been in Mexico I have been experiencing lots of different sicknesses. It's been interesting. I think I wrote about a blessing that Brent gave me with the kidney stuff I was experiencing and in the blessing Heavenly Father said that I am not going to be experiencing anything life threatening, but that He is "allowing me to experience things that are normal". Basically telling me that I get to experience these things while we're here for my good and to "bear it well". 

Anyway, I got a sore throat, and I think it might be strep throat. So tonight Brent gathered all of you together to practice singing for tomorrow, and you practiced parts without me, just in case I can't sing. 

I was in our bedroom resting, laying down with the door closed when you started to practice. 

Then Mimi came to visit me. She came by me and said, "Andrea, listen to your family! They are amazing!". As soon as I felt her by me I just started to cry. I said, "I know mom! They are amazing!" My heart just exploded with all kinds of feelings - feeling joy for all of you, feeling gratitude for my Savior and the gift of His atonement, feeling sadness because I missed Mimi so much and I wanted to physically hug her... so many emotions. 

Then she snuggled me and said, "Andrea, I am still your mom. Let me be your mom." I told her I missed her so much! My heart just opened up and I cried and cried. She told me that she was sorry I wasn't feeling well and she said, "Sometimes it's good as a mom to have the excuse to just lay down and listen, instead of getting up, working and talking. It's good to just listen to your family."

Then we just listened to you while you sang. She is so proud of you! She loves you so much! She told me if I can't go tomorrow that she'll be there no matter what to hear you. She LOVES to hear you sing together. I could just feel her pride in you as her grandkids. She is always watching over you, and she knows each of you individually and loves you. 

She then told me, "Andrea, Brent is such a good man." And I started crying more. I said, "I know mom right? He is wonderful." She just reassured me of his good heart and to keep loving him for everything that he is. 

This whole time we could just listen to you practice. I cried. I felt a lot. I cried more. She just stayed by me and comforted me and was just there to help me feel better and take care of me. 

Oh man! I miss my mom! I know you all miss her so much too. 

I wanted to make sure and write this experience down before it got away from me. God is good. All the time. Jesus loves you. So much. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

LOOK FOR THE GOOD

 Dear Kids, 

The podcast is coming along. Nicely actually. We are almost done outlining the lessons on the powerpoint slides, we are getting things put together with the scripts and we are going to start recording soon... I hope. It's been a HUGE process and I can't believe how much my brain has forgotten how strenuous it is to always be putting together content for other's to listen to! It's crazy!

Your dad and I made another commitment that everyday we are going to be making time for meditation, personal prayers, family prayers and making sure we are reading scriptures everyday as a family. We need more of the spirit in our lives, and we need more of God in order for that to come about. 

I've been meditating every morning and praying in my heart for the Lord to help me be spiritually focused in a way that I can really apply everything that we are teaching in our lives as a family and as parents. There are many situations that I do great in! And there are many moments that I can improve. 

I HOPE you know kids, that your mom and dad are doing our best, but you are going to have to forgive us of our humanity as you are growing and getting older. We are figuring this out as we go along and doing our best to be close to God inside of it all. As our kids you will know our weaknesses better than ANYONE else. 

Please give us grace. 

When you look back at us, look for the good. Look for what we are always striving to do. Look for what we DID accomplish as a family. LOOK FOR THE GOOD! In us and in everyone around you. That doesn't mean not to have boundaries, you need to protect yourself from anyone who might be destructive. But when someone is doing their best, look for the good. 

I love you kids. SO MUCH. 

Your Mom

April 2022 Conference TakeAways and Jesus Coming Back!

 Dear Kids, 

(this picture is of the kids doing the conference puzzle to get a treasure!)

We just finished conference weekend in Mexico! How I love conference. I'm so grateful for conference and the way it helps to recenter my soul. 

Kids... the world is getting crazier. People calling "evil good and calling good evil" is getting more and more pervasive everywhere that you turn. Emotions with everyone's differing opinions is creating contention that is just alarming, especially inside of people's souls. 

I felt from conference some very specific things for me and for our family. 

1. The FIRST thing I felt was actually more of a picture and vision in my mind. As President Nelson was giving his first talk of the conference, it was like I could see in my mind's eye that Heavenly Father was standing over the earth and I was caught up to meet Him. He just looked at the earth and said, "Andrea, it's going to keep getting more and more wicked. Don't pay attention to that. The only thing that matters now is the gospel. And inside of spreading the gospel, you and others are going to be persecuted. Give them no heed. Just keep being an example and spread the good word. It's the only thing that matters now." I could feel the heaviness in His heart for the earth and the inhabitants of the earth. It was enormous. And I could feel how much more wicked things are going to keep getting. The worldly agendas are going to keep getting more and more and more off base. And people are going to think it's normal. We are NOT to fight and add to the contention of the dialogue's. But we are to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is our whole focus. 

2. The talks were all about missionary work and being patient and peaceable followers of Christ IN adversity. Things are not going to get easier. But with God's help we are going to be able to get through it. We are to spread the gospel, that's it. 

3. I could feel the heaviness of the Prophet and the Apostles. I could feel it from them. they are not out of touch with things happening. And there are things they might have opinions about that I disagree with (vaccines) but I am to NEVER publicly argue with them. Never. That is putting my temple covenants on hold and I will not do that. They are giving their lives for the work of the gospel throughout the earth. They know that we are heading for more war, more fighting, more contention. They are pleading with us to be ready for Zion. They are pleading with us to ready our hearts to be included. 

Those were my main take-aways. 

Sunday night I had a total break down. Brent and I knelt down to say our couple prayers and it was my turn. I starting praying about conference and pleading with the Lord to give us more of His spirit and I just started crying. After finishing Brent held me and I just told him, "I'm so tired of Jesus not being here anymore! I just want Him to walk into our house and play uno with my kids. I want Him to just come sit with us while I make spaghetti." I just cried and cried. My heart is homesick for Jesus. Really homesick for Him to just BE HERE. We can't do this without Him. And we don't know how much longer we have until He comes back, but man... my heart aches for it. I told the Lord in my prayer that, "if one of the reasons why we had to get rid of everything and get on the road is so we could just go to build the New Jerusalem whenever you ask us, then I'm ready to do it! We are ready if you want to call us to do that!" 

I'm ready for Zion. That's for sure. I am ready for it. I am ready to just go be with the Saints that have their hearts set on Jesus coming and are rooting out pride. I am so ready for that. 

So many people are hyperfocusing on the "issues of the day" that we are getting distracted as a people about what is really happening here! We can't hyper focus on something so much that it creates pride in our hearts in a way that Jesus isn't a part of our daily conversations anymore. How many people talk about all the issues of the day instead of talking about Jesus? Too many! Including myself! We can all do better. 

I love you kids. So much. I hope you know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. The Priesthood of God is restored to the earth and Jesus is coming back. I don't know when... maybe 100 years from now, but keep your eyes focused on HIM. 

I love you, 

Your Mom