We Launched The Podcast Project!

 Dear Kids, 

We LAUNCHED the podcast! yay! I'm so grateful! It feels SO GOOD to be complete and get it out there for people to learn from. 

Your dad spent the last couple of days listening to the lessons again and he said to me, "I'm pretty amazed at what the Lord did through us!" and it's totally true. I look at everything that we were able to put together and do, and there is NO DOUBT that the Lord directed this project completely. I'm also amazed at it. I think back about when we were able to look at it and put it together. I am personally amazed at it. We've already had some great feedback about the podcasts and the lessons. I'm SO GRATEFUL to have it off our shoulders. 

It has felt like a mission call. The whole thing has felt like a mission call. We were on a mission helping Papa and Mimi while she was passing away and getting their house pulled together. Then we were on a mission for finishing up the podcast project. And now it's done. 

BUT, your dad and I haven't felt a "release" from the mission yet. So I'm not sure what the means. I have felt a "relief" at finished up the biggest parts of the project... but the Lord has more in mind for us. And I have NO IDEA what it is or what it is going to equal. All I know is that we have to keep following what the Lord would have us do. 

Brent went down to St. George to pick up the van that we found - which was another miracle from Heavenly Father. Merrell (Dad's friend) found a van in California and wanted to help carry it for us so he could earn some interest in his money. And it's going to help our credit all at the same time. Anyway, he went down to pick it up then he's going to go to SLC to work for a week and find a house for us to move into down there. 

Two weeks ago when we were deciding about where we needed to go next as a family, on the same day your dad and I BOTH got a couple impressions about needing to be in SLC. The spirit very specifically told us, "you need to go where you will be more available for teaching." Your dad had the same impression. Then Papa confirmed our impression when that night he told us that we need to go where the headquarters on the church were in order to really start to get on the road to fulfilling promises in our patriarchal blessings. That's part of why we still feel the mission call I think, is because we GAVE OUR LIVES to the Lord and what He would have us do and with that, He's been taking us on this journey. 

So - here we go. We are looking for houses and we will see what the Lord opens up. Waiting upon the Lord is NOT for the faint of heart! That's for sure! It's a spiritual muscle to be developed. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom

Papa, Gathering Without Mimi & Shay, Wanting Home

 Dear Kids, 

I have had a lot of emotions coming back to Papa's house. it's weird to call it Papa's house - without the Mimi involved. 

When we got here, Papa was in quite a depression. Since being here I think we've helped him with his energy and getting out of himself a bit more. Living alone is hard. It's lonely. People need people and Papa needed some energy in the house. 

He told me that he is going to be moving and selling this house. It won't happen for several months he doesn't think but he knows it's coming and it's on the horizon. I don't blame him. It is a big yard, and it's a lot to take care of. There are so many memories that are painful for him here. Having the family reunion all together was wonderful and painful missing Mimi and Shayla. It was hard in a lot of ways. It was hard hearing Autumn and Summer call Alisha "mom". - Not that they shouldn't. Because they absolutely should. But it's hard. It's weird. It's a big adjustment. 

It's hard being at Heise all together but without mom and without Shayla's family there. It's a reminder that we aren't complete without each other. And on the other side of the coin, it's a reminder of how much we love each other and that we can't be complete without each other. It's a reminder of the beauty of our covenants and that they really do complete us. 

When Papa moves it is going to be like losing Mimi all over again. I've always had a "home". And when he moves, I won't have it anymore. It's always been your second home. It's always been the constant for us, even when we've been moving around. It makes me REALLY want to have a constant in my life - we need our own home. And I want it so badly. I want our own home so badly. I have to believe that the Lord is preparing it for us. I have to keep that hope alive. 

I have loved traveling - but settling back down into another rental home has brought up a lot of emotions for me. I don't want to rent anymore - I want to have a place. And just finding another rental home is a little bit of a nail in my heart. I just have to keep giving it to the Lord and believe that He is going to help us. 

I love you kids. I know that there have been so many things in this journey that have been hard for all of you. But it's been good as well. You need uncomfortable things in order to expand your soul. You need to have things that push your boundaries so you know you can handle it and you know you can do it. Life isn't meant to be easy. It's meant to have us grow. And I know all of you have been growing emotionally a lot. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Moving To SLC Area

 Dear Kids, 

We talked with all of you on Sunday during our Palmer Family Council about moving to Northern Utah. Dad told you how we've been having impressions from the spirit about it and how much the Lord has pushed us to go. And you are all amazing! You listened and then Talia said, "Well, if the Lord is telling us to go then I know we should go, no matter how hard it might be to leave everyone. He led us here to be with Mimi before she passed away, so there is a good purpose for needing to move."

All the boys agreed - you all had such willing hearts to listen to the Lord and listen to the spirit and believe that your dad and I have had those very important impressions. I'm so grateful for all of you for that! You are all so faithful and good. I hope you know that your dad and I have CONFIDENCE in you. 

We are still looking for where it is that we need to be in the Northern Utah area. We have fasted about it and prayed about it a lot. We know that you are all reaching really tender ages, especially Talia and Gabe. There are going to be influences where we move that are going to be really important for you, and I know the Lord has a place in mind where it is going to be of benefit to our family, especially you guys. I also know that we get to be a blessing to the people wherever we go. I feel people praying us to them. And I didn't expect it to be Northern Utah - but I FEEL it. 

I don't know all the reasons for why the Lord does what He does. But I trust Him. That I do know. I trust Him and His help and His timing. We have so many evidences in our lives of when He has helped us that we get to be faithful in waiting upon Him of where we need to move to next. 

I know we will look back on all of this as a huge turning point in our lives and I'm grateful to go through the growing pains of it all. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom

It's Been A Busy Month

 Dear Kids, 

wow - the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind! We got back from Mexico - spent about 5 days in St. George staying with Shirlyn. We were able to hang out with friends in Diamond Valley. Gabe was able to go to baptisms for the dead at Cedar City with a group from Diamond (I LOVE DIAMOND VALLEY! I want to live there). Talia was able to help with Ella's birthday party while we were there (Ella waited until Talia got back from Mexico so she would be there, isn't that sweet?). We were able to see Mesha and Jeff and their boys. 

Then Mesha and Jeff helped us out a ton by letting us use the Durango until we are able to find a van. We are still figuring out the pieces to put together with that. We drove up to Idaho and had a pit stop in SLC. We stayed with Krista and helped Nana move out of her place to go to a facility in Tooele where Dani is living. We picked up Ginger-dog. Everyone has missed her like crazy! 

Then we headed up to Idaho for the family reunion up here. We got here Thursday night. Friday morning Mesha, Kalea and I went through all of mom's stuff from her bedroom (clothing, bathroom stuff, decorations, drawers, shoes, closet, etc.). It was DRAINING to say the least. Man - it was hard - especially since it is something that we just barely did with Shayla's stuff not even a year ago. It took us all day to go through it. We were talking about how it is going to take us a week to go through everything in the house with the herb room, her heirloom things, Christmas decorations, etc. Papa wants to keep some things, but he wants to pass on a lot of her things to us right now. I'll write more about my feelings about the process in another post since this is a just a travel log ;-). 

Then Friday night we went to the Chukars baseball game. The kids LOVE that tradition - but it might be our last year doing it! That is so sad to me :-(. I told Papa that he is going to have to just get a booth every year because it is just so fun and everyone loves it so much. Everyone was able to come - even Casey and his new wife Alisha came to the game with the kids. I was really happy about that. 

Then Saturday we had breakfast at the airbnb with Jonathan and Denise, and then we went up to Heise for the day and the kids HAD A BLAST. I love Heise so much - it brought back so many memories of growing up and how much we went up there. It is a haven. I definitely want the kids to keep going back there in order to make more memories there together. They just swam and played all day. We also sang papa Happy Birthday because it was his birthday that day! We got him cake and gave him some book collections that he lost in the flood they had at the house a couple years ago. 

Then Papa had me and your dad give talks in church, so we shared several things from the trip and our testimonies about it all. It was short notice, but we spoke about what the Lord would have us share. 

It was hard to gather all together with the reality of new dynamics since Shayla and Mom passed away. It was wonderful and really hard all at the same time. 

We've had a BUSY month. In one month we traveled to Merida, Bacalar, Chichen-Itza, more ruins in Mexico, finished up packing to leave Mexico - got everything wrapped up there, we flew back to the states, stayed in Vegas, went to St. George, went to SLC and came to Idaho. 

It's been a whirlwind. We still are figuring out getting another van, the next job for your dad and settling into another house and what that needs to look like. I can't believe how much has happened. And how much has yet to happen. We've been publishing the podcasts for people and we've had lots of friends already say how grateful they are for the podcasts. We'll see what the Lord does with that project and how He will use it for His work. 

I know it's been a whirlwind for all of you was well. Yesterday was the first "quiet" day that we've had and all of you were decompressing like crazy. Playing lego's, going back and forth from outside, you were just enjoying hanging out without anything to do or places to go or screens to be on. 

I love you so much kids. I know part of the reason we've been on this journey is because of the things you are learning from it as well and only time will tell how you choose to use it for your benefit. 

I LOVE YOU, 

Your Mom

Feelings On This 4th Of July

 Dear Kids, 

Yesterday was the 4th of July. We've only been back in the country for a few days. This year I'm SO GRATEFUL for the feelings of gratitude and patriotism that the Lord has given to my heart. 

The last several years I have been VERY cynical and negative in my heart when the 4th of July has come around. I LOVE MY COUNTRY so much. I love the Constitution. I love the Founding Fathers. I love what they did and the sacrifices they went through for their future generations. And it's been hard to see how much we've been screwing it up with all the agendas that are NOT freedom based. I've been REALLY depressed about the direction that our country has gone, so liberal and away from God. 

But when we landed in Florida on the way home, both your dad and I had the overwhelming flood of emotions of coming back to America. This is STILL the promised land of the Lord. This is STILL where the base of His Gospel is. This land is STILL where there is so much promise for the future of the entire world. America is NOT BAD. The governments of our day have been misrepresenting what America was set up to be for the world - a beacon of hope. 

I have felt patriotism unlike anything I've been able to feel for a very long time after being away. My emotions have been so close to the surface about everything in my life - and this is no different. We are SO BLESSED. There are so many things that show how blessed we have been and how much the Lord has been helping this country to succeed. Freedom is HOW the gospel is spread. The cause of freedom is the cause of Christ and His gospel. Without freedom, the gospel will not be able to get to the people who need it. As long as people have the gospel, then the world will continue to elevate. Promoting the cause of freedom is promoting the cause of Christ. 

I'm SO GRATEFUL for this country. When we were watching fireworks last night I just was flooded with emotions of gratitude and amazement that I have the chance to be here. I wrote on a facebook post these feelings and they are so accurate:

"Independence Day.

This day means more to me than I can write in a little Facebook post. My heart loves my country and the Founding Fathers who gave their lives so my children could know freedom.

The word freedom means very different things in our day and age. But I will confidently and boldly stand up for the Constitution of the United States and testify it was and still is an inspired document. I know the Lord loves this Land of promise and He aches for us to turn to Him. I am forever amazed I came at this time of the world's history, this place and to my family.

I hope everyone has an amazing Independence Day and remember to get down on your knees to recognize the Being whom true freedom always comes from. Let the celebration begin!"

 I love you kids, so much. I hope you have the seed of freedom in your hearts and to promote the cause of Christ within upholding the Constitution of the United States of America. 

I love you, 

 

Your Mom 

Things I Don't Want To Forget About Coming Home

 Dear Kids, 

We've been stateside for almost three days now and I can't believe how much my soul has missed being home. I know you all feel the same way! I want to write down some things that I'm so grateful for while it's potent in my mind - because eventually it will just become "regular life" again and I don't want to forget to write. 

-I feel so much the same as after I got home from my mission. My mind was so expanded to how blessed we are here in America. And it's NOT BY CHANCE. We did not become this blessed just "because" there is a reason. It is because of the amazing way the Founding Fathers set up this country for the WHOLE WORLD to succeed. Anyone who has done any kind of major study of the USA understands the miracle that it has been for the world. NEVER FORGET it. So many in the media right now want to paint the USA constitution and form of government as wrong. IT IS NOT. It is INSPIRED OF GOD. 

-The bathrooms ALL WORK! Wow - everywhere we go. The toilets flush so well. There's always toilet paper and toilet seats. They are clean. The bathroom stalls are SO BIG, I can turn all the way around in them. AND I can drop by ANYWHERE to use the bathroom for FREE! There won't be anyone who will be mean to me just because I ask if I can use their bathroom! The toilets flush so fast and efficiently!

-Customer service is a GREAT THING! The waitress at Denny's where we went to breakfast was so nice to us! The lady at Walmart was so kind! It's amazing how nice people are here.

-The streets are so big. The cars are so quiet. There aren't any potholes. There aren't any speed bumps. People actually obey the traffic laws. 

-The sidewalks are so clean. There isn't a bunch of litter everywhere you look. People actually use trash cans!

-I missed "my people". When Katie picked us up, it was so good to see her and feel her heart. When I saw Shirlyn again it was so wonderful to hug her so tight. I missed my family! Mesha cried when she saw me again. I missed everyone so much! I have an amazing community of people who love me and care about me and help me to succeed in every way in my life. 

-People aren't stingy about their napkins! In Mexico they never gave us napkins and when they did it was one or two really small napkins. When you ask for a napkin here, people actually give you a whole stack! And they are thick amazing napkins!

-It's so quiet. The streets are so quiet. There aren't loud motorcycles and cars and old beat up things all over every corner. 

-Especially getting back to Utah - I don't feel like I have to keep my guard up all the time. Don't get me wrong, I didn't feel "unsafe" in Mexico. The people were good and kind. But there was an element of "street guard" that you just have to have on all the time. It is the same feeling that I have whenever I go to a big city in the USA as well. You have just to be on your guard. But here in ST. George - we don't have to do that. I don't have to be on my guard everywhere I go. 

-There are evidences all over the place of how amazingly the GOSPEL LIFTS PEOPLE. When I travel to places where the gospel is very new, it is so evident how much the people need the gospel. When I go to places where the gospel has been there for generations, it is evident in the way the people ARE. In the way that we live. In the way that we interact with each other. In the light in the eyes of the people around us. The GOSPEL of JESUS CHRIST is the answer to all the worlds problems! Because it changes people, in their hearts. 

I LOVE AMERICA. Kids - remember that YOUR MOM LOVES AMERICA! SO MUCH! 

We had an amazing time in Mexico - and we learned so much. BUT THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!

I love you, 

Your Mom