At Kalea's House With Twins

 Dear Kids, 

I haven't had a chance to write about my experience with going to Kalea's house to help with her twins. 

I was really worried before getting there that I would have enough energy for it all. I have been struggling, my body is going through lots of changes, and I was worried. But as soon as I got there, I was able to give my whole heart and soul to being there. 

I was able to be up with the babies night after night so Kalea could sleep a little bit. 

I was able to make weeks worth of food for them in their freezer. 

I was able to put together a schedule for Kalea to help her feel more organized in her head. 

I was able to deep clean their kitchen and deep clean their master bedroom. 

I was able to have really good Aunt Andi time with her kids (that I really enjoyed by the way, that was fun - usually Aunt time is surrounded by cousins, it was nice to have the quality time to create bonds). 

The day before I left I was sitting down at the table having a late lunch and I just was praying to the Lord and thanking Him for my energy and ability while I was there. 

Then Mimi and Shayla were right there with me and they said, "we've been here helping you."

I just started bawling. It was beautiful. I really was able to get the work done of 3 people, and it was evident that they had been there to help. I am so grateful. I told Kalea that too, and she just started crying, she told me, "I've been wanting to feel them more and I haven't been able to. I am so glad you told me."

Kids, ANYTIME you can do service IT IS WORTH IT EVERY TIME. I'm so glad I went and did that service for their family. It was worth it, everything I had to figure out in order to go and be there, it was worth it all. 

I love you, 

Your Mom

Depressing Days & Choosing Trust

 Dear Kids, 

I want you to know, as you become adults with children and all the heavy things of life hit you... that you will have some days when you just feel depressed. 

I have had several of those days. I'm feeling super antsy about leaving and getting our own space, and here we still are. I've looked and looked and looked for houses, and every time we think we find one that we like, there is something about it when we get there that doesn't work. Like last night we had two homes that we thought would be amazing options - but the first one had a bunch of dogs on the property with the owners dog breeding business (that they didn't mention in the ad) and the second one didn't have a place for a kitchen table (that you couldn't see from the picture on the ad). Every time we have seen something, there has been something weird or that just wouldn't work. 

Needless to say, after looking and doing so much work to try and find the right place, I feel a little bit like the Lord has abandoned us in this quest. My mind knows He hasn't - because EVERY time when the answers come, there is a reason for His timing (EVERY TIME)... but in the middle of a day when it feels depressing, it is easy for my heart to forget that. 

Today is one of those days. 

I woke up today and just kept saying, "I can do another day. I've got this. Lord I will praise you again for one more day." So many times I have to just hyper focus in on THE DAY and I can't bring myself to think about the day after and the day after that or it just gets to be too much. I have to just focus on THE NOW. That is a very important spiritual skill that you will need to develop, and I hope you will develop it sooner than later. Because the more life you experience and the hard things you go through, the more you will need that skill. 

Just one more day. I can do one more day. That is my thought process a lot of times. Especially on days like today. 

Kids, life throws you curve balls. A LOT. There are so many things that don't end up like you plan. And please know and understand that is part of life. You will each experience that in your own unique way. And sometimes those curve balls are exciting and adventurous, and other times they are depressing and hard. 

The Lord HASN'T abandoned us. I want you to know that I know that. AND on days like today when it's difficult to remember that, I have to keep reminding myself that there is a reason why this is taking so long. I choose to trust. 

You can either choose to trust God. Or you can choose to become angry and bitter. 

I choose to trust and live by faith. And IT'S HARD SPIRITUAL WORK to choose to live this way. 

But it's worth it. Every time. 

I love you kids, We'll figure this out. 

Your mom

(picture of us doing service and making shoeboxes for "Operation Christmas Child" - we did this around Thanksgiving time, so the picture is a little out of place, but I wanted to include a service picture because it HELPS to SERVE when you are feeling depressed! SERVE and get out of yourself, and you will be amazed how it helps.)