Depressing Days & Choosing Trust

 Dear Kids, 

I want you to know, as you become adults with children and all the heavy things of life hit you... that you will have some days when you just feel depressed. 

I have had several of those days. I'm feeling super antsy about leaving and getting our own space, and here we still are. I've looked and looked and looked for houses, and every time we think we find one that we like, there is something about it when we get there that doesn't work. Like last night we had two homes that we thought would be amazing options - but the first one had a bunch of dogs on the property with the owners dog breeding business (that they didn't mention in the ad) and the second one didn't have a place for a kitchen table (that you couldn't see from the picture on the ad). Every time we have seen something, there has been something weird or that just wouldn't work. 

Needless to say, after looking and doing so much work to try and find the right place, I feel a little bit like the Lord has abandoned us in this quest. My mind knows He hasn't - because EVERY time when the answers come, there is a reason for His timing (EVERY TIME)... but in the middle of a day when it feels depressing, it is easy for my heart to forget that. 

Today is one of those days. 

I woke up today and just kept saying, "I can do another day. I've got this. Lord I will praise you again for one more day." So many times I have to just hyper focus in on THE DAY and I can't bring myself to think about the day after and the day after that or it just gets to be too much. I have to just focus on THE NOW. That is a very important spiritual skill that you will need to develop, and I hope you will develop it sooner than later. Because the more life you experience and the hard things you go through, the more you will need that skill. 

Just one more day. I can do one more day. That is my thought process a lot of times. Especially on days like today. 

Kids, life throws you curve balls. A LOT. There are so many things that don't end up like you plan. And please know and understand that is part of life. You will each experience that in your own unique way. And sometimes those curve balls are exciting and adventurous, and other times they are depressing and hard. 

The Lord HASN'T abandoned us. I want you to know that I know that. AND on days like today when it's difficult to remember that, I have to keep reminding myself that there is a reason why this is taking so long. I choose to trust. 

You can either choose to trust God. Or you can choose to become angry and bitter. 

I choose to trust and live by faith. And IT'S HARD SPIRITUAL WORK to choose to live this way. 

But it's worth it. Every time. 

I love you kids, We'll figure this out. 

Your mom

(picture of us doing service and making shoeboxes for "Operation Christmas Child" - we did this around Thanksgiving time, so the picture is a little out of place, but I wanted to include a service picture because it HELPS to SERVE when you are feeling depressed! SERVE and get out of yourself, and you will be amazed how it helps.)