Elijah, Weird Reading, Harry Potter and Getting Over Myself

 Dear Kids,

Elijah and I have been reading the Harry Potter books together. A few weeks ago I started getting irritated with the way he was reading. There wasn't a reason for it, I just allowed myself to get irritated because of the way he was pausing and making funny noises with his mouth. 

I found myself getting so worked up over the noises and "wrong" way he was reading that I just started snapping at him. I remember the look on his face... ,"Elijah, stop pausing like that!".... "Elijah, knock it off with that noise with your lips, it's driving me crazy!"... 

I just kept being so critical. 

At one point I looked at his face and he was so down trodden. I just had this flash of what I was doing. I was able to see what my criticisms were doing to him. 

 There are certain behaviors that are easy to be "in the box" about with your kids. When you all become parents, you will understand this better. It has nothing to do with the kids, like this, it had nothing to do with what Elijah was doing - rather it has everything to do with what I'm TELLING myself about what he is doing. And I had gotten REALLY in the box about this particular thing. I had allowed myself to get so worked up over the stupidest thing.

So I backed off. I had to just get over myself.

The next time we read together I had a goal to not SAY ANYTHING about the mouth noises or the pace at which he was reading, or the pauses. Every time he would do any of those particular behaviors I just kept repeating to myself, "Andrea, he's reading. That's what matters. He's reading, let him read. Keep your mouth SHUT!"

And it worked! After a few days I was so much more patient when I started feeding my mind with the RIGHT was of reacting to him. He is reading better and better. He is still making funny noises with his mouth, but his pace of reading is so much better and his pausing with reading is SO much better. I'm REALLY proud of him!

I just have to really catch myself as a parent, ESPECIALLY because of being home all day with the kids homeschooling - it's EASY to get on each other's nerves. I get to spiritually focus on the behaviors that I want duplicated and when I start to get crazy frustrated, I have to remember, "Andrea, it's NOT THEM, it's what you are telling yourself ABOUT what they are doing that is the problem!"

Elijah- I'm proud of you buddy. I love you. I am so proud of your school work and how much you are doing to become a good reader. It has been a CHALLENGE for you, but you have stuck with it and we have made it through so many ups' and downs and break downs over reading. Now you are so much smoother and resilient. I'm so excited for you!

Remember how much your mom loves you, 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom