Update on Gabe

 Dear Gabriel,

Wow... I can't believe how much change you have been through this year. So much change. You are growing. You are getting taller. You turned 16! You can drive. I better start a list:

-You got your license about a month ago. It has helped to give you the freedom that you have been wanting so badly. Now the only thing holding you back is your own car. But we told you that before we get "a kid car" you have to have a job to be able to help pay for the insurance. That wasn't your favorite thing, but it is what it is!

-You haven't loved robotics as much as we were hoping at the beginning of the year. Both of us were hopeful about that. But it just didn't click as much as we wanted. But that is okay, we live and learn. 

-You are thinking you really want to study history. You have really enjoyed all your history classes and it's something that interests you. Ever since you were little you have LOVED codes and clues and treasure hunting, so archeology has really started to kick in as something you might enjoy. We will see how you decide to pursue that in the future. 

-This year in math you have struggled a bit in the middle of the year with attention span. Your sleep habits have been poor and that has affected your ability in classes. That is something we are working on. But lately your teacher has said you have been doing better! so we are happy about that.

-You are starting the 75 HARD challenge with Nate, a friend you made in seminary. I am so grateful to Nate for inviting you to do that with him! Something you are AMAZING at is showing up for people. When you have an appointment, you always show up. If you have made a commitment to be somewhere, you show up. You are VERY good at that. So when Nate invited you to do this with him, it's so awesome because that part of you that shows up for people is turning on in order to help you with this goal!

-You have done a project for your Advanced Key of Liberty class for the Eagle Forum this semester, helping at the capital in the legislative sessions. That has been a GREAT experience for you to understand more about politics and how laws get put into place. I am so grateful you have done that for your project. It's been a HUGE commitment, but I know you have grown through it.

-You have been trying to figure out more about who you are as a person. You have pushed boundaries in a way this year that you never have before in your life. You are more irritable (thank you testosterone!) and you are wanting to be your own person. Sometimes the things that you are feeling very independent about are pretty silly (with adult eyes you will see this). But I can also see that it is imperative for you right now to figure out your own boundaries in life and it is a natural thing for you to want to be your own man!

-You are trying to find a job. You have been desperately trying to find a job. It's time for some regular money flow that's for sure!

-Your friend situation is good at Rise Up, but everyone has been so busy with all their things in life that you really haven't had a chance to hang out very much with anyone. I really hope that as you grow and get older you will find more of "your people" that you can connect with and really make life long friends with. I know some of my best friends didn't come until later in life. I hope you find some amazing people and have good experiences.

-I admire how much you want to do, and I also know it's been a challenge for you to learn how to time manage better. This year has been a struggle with time management for you. I hope we can get through that. I think that part of it is that you are trying to do things completely on your own, but within that you haven't found good strategies for time management on your own. I know you'll get there. It's going to be a bit learning curve for you!

I love you and I know you are on your path of doing great things. I am proud of you. I am so grateful you are in our family!

I love you,

Your Mom

All Of A Sudden It's Quiet

 Dear Kids,

And all of a sudden it is quiet. Talia is teaching a dance class. Gabe and Elijah are at science and math classes. Joshua is taking a bath. I am doing computer work. 

And it's so quiet. 

I am starting to wrap my head around what people are talking about when they say that you will miss all the noise and chaos. It's true. 

I always knew it would be true. But all of a sudden it's getting so much more real now that my kids are bigger and are branching out in so many ways.

And it's quiet. 

My mom would always talk about how her life was so fluid. That as kids get older you have to take every opportunity to just be available for them. 

I am trying. I hope you all know that. I am trying to do dates, alone time, late nights, talking to you in the car, supporting you with the classes and experiences that you want to have... all the things. I am trying.

But in the middle of all of that "trying" I have realized lately how much of just me "being" with you isn't happening as much. there is always something else to get to and drive to and take care of. I guess that is just the life of a mother. It's just the life of someone who is trying to balance "all the disks" as Elder Bednar would put it.

Life is so funny. It's deathly quiet at one moment and then screaming kids the next. 

But it's all beautiful and wonderful because it means I was in the middle of all of it. I will NEVER regret the decision I made being home with you all. I am in the middle of all of it and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

In just a couple minutes Talia will walk through the door again and I will be up and moving. 

I'm so grateful for the silence. And I am so grateful when it is over. 

I love you kids. I love all of you so much. I am proud of you.

Love, 

Your Mom