All Of A Sudden It's Quiet

 Dear Kids,

And all of a sudden it is quiet. Talia is teaching a dance class. Gabe and Elijah are at science and math classes. Joshua is taking a bath. I am doing computer work. 

And it's so quiet. 

I am starting to wrap my head around what people are talking about when they say that you will miss all the noise and chaos. It's true. 

I always knew it would be true. But all of a sudden it's getting so much more real now that my kids are bigger and are branching out in so many ways.

And it's quiet. 

My mom would always talk about how her life was so fluid. That as kids get older you have to take every opportunity to just be available for them. 

I am trying. I hope you all know that. I am trying to do dates, alone time, late nights, talking to you in the car, supporting you with the classes and experiences that you want to have... all the things. I am trying.

But in the middle of all of that "trying" I have realized lately how much of just me "being" with you isn't happening as much. there is always something else to get to and drive to and take care of. I guess that is just the life of a mother. It's just the life of someone who is trying to balance "all the disks" as Elder Bednar would put it.

Life is so funny. It's deathly quiet at one moment and then screaming kids the next. 

But it's all beautiful and wonderful because it means I was in the middle of all of it. I will NEVER regret the decision I made being home with you all. I am in the middle of all of it and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

In just a couple minutes Talia will walk through the door again and I will be up and moving. 

I'm so grateful for the silence. And I am so grateful when it is over. 

I love you kids. I love all of you so much. I am proud of you.

Love, 

Your Mom