Dear Kids,
This is Day 7 of being sick, yesterday I found out that I have pneumonia. Usually when I apply all the vitamins and herbs and all the "things" I get over something within 48 hours, but this time around that just wasn't happening. I just kept feeling like someone was sitting on my chest and was so labor some to breathe.
One thing is for sure.... my body was ready for me to rest. And my mind and soul was ready for me to rest.
I'm not great at that. I am a lot like Mimi that way. She never rested either, until she got so sick she couldn't do much anymore. And even then she still got up and did everything she could. I loved her for that example.
I haven't been able to move around and do much, so just sitting has been my action. Sitting by Elijah while he works on things. Sitting by Gabe while he rests on the couch. Going to Talia's room and just sitting there while she gets ready. Sitting on the ground with Joshua while he builds something. Just been sitting.
And it's fascinating to feel how EVERYONE has just .... well.... calmed down. I don't often just SIT by everyone. I really don't. I am always moving and doing something. I am not often just sitting for the sake of being next to someone and just being there.
It's made me realize that I can really do that more often. I need to just sit and BE WITH each of you more often. Especially now when you are all so busy and growing up. Just sitting and being available to just be there... It has a power in and of itself for relationships. I have needed that reminder. BIG TIME. Especially because of feeling the calm that has also happened with it. Probably because we aren't just focused on getting to the next thing. And I'm not focused on getting kids out the door.
How are we homeschooling and still in a hurry?? I just don't understand. I mean... I do understand. It is what happens as you kids are ready to start branching out with your experiences and friends. And that is right. But I definitely really long for the days of everyone just being home. YOU all used to just come to me. You would come play at my feet with anything I was doing.
I would get ready for the day and you would sit there and play in the same area. I would make something and you would sit there in the kitchen to be part of my "doings". I would be doing housework and you would just follow me.
It seems that the tables have turned. Now I get to come sit next to you when you get ready. Or sit next to you when you are making something. Or sit next to you when you are doing school work or on the couch lounging around, or playing games or whatever it might be. I get to come to you now, instead of expecting that you will come to me.
That is a good reminder for me. It's time for me to just go to you the way you used to come to me. Just so we can be by each other. Just available in the "in between".
I love you kids. So much. I really do. I hope you will never forget that.
Love,
Your Mom
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