That Kid

Dear Gabriel,

Here is a story you might appreciate in 20-30 years when you have a kid who is 'that kid'.

Last night I was talking with one of my friends. She watched you, Talia and Elijah a few days ago while your dad and I went on a getaway for my birthday (a much needed one might I add!). All three of you were at another friends house during the day after we left and then she picked you up about 5:30 or so and took you back to our house to spend the night.

I wanted to check in and see how you did while we were gone, especially because she had told me over a text that you were 'tired and grumpy'. One of those nights when bed-time couldn't come soon enough! She shared this story...

"Andrea, I didn't know what to do. They were both so grumpy all night. Then Gabe went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and I went in to help him. Then he just SCREAMED at me... 'Get out of here! I will do it by myself! Leave me alone'!...

"I didn't know how to handle it, wasn't sure what you wanted me to do, so I just shut the door and let him be. It just so shocked me! He screamed so loud."

There were a few emotions that I recognized when she told me this story and I have been thinking about all day today:

• Embarrassment. It is embarrassing to have a kid who does that to someone else, especially when I feel like I do everything I can to teach you respect!
• Curiosity. Why did you react that way? Just tired? Setting a boundary to have authority in your house? Mad because mom and dad were gone? Lots of emotion you didn't know how to express? Normally you are very respectful, what happened here?
• Jealousy. You are 4 1/2 years old. You still have a 'get out of jail free' card when you do something like that. How lucky are you? You still have some time to figure out how to communicate. Me as the mom, I am just 'supposed' to have all the answers. haha.

The other emotion is something I keep learning over and over again being a parent. Learning how to NOT JUDGE other people. Getting the 'beam out of mine own eye first' before condemning. I used to think 'I will never have that kind of kid' before becoming a parent. Or 'my kids will never act THAT way'.

Well, I have come to the conclusion that every kid is 'that kid' at one time or another. How else do you learn boundaries? How else do you learn emotion? It is through these experiences that we, as your parents, can learn better what you need to know. The key as a parent is to not allow behavior like this to continue, and to catch the teaching moments and use them to our advantage as much as possible.

So, just remember when you have a kid that is 'that kid'... you were once too. As we all were.

I love you,

Your Mom