I don't know if I have mentioned this or not, but being a parent is hard work. Seriously... the stamina it takes to be an active, positive, teaching, mentoring and loving parent... Let's just say I am exhausted.
Lately a lot of the parent responsibilities have fallen to my shoulders because of your dad working quite a bit. It is a good thing and a hard thing all at the same time. This morning when I woke up I had the goal of being positive, uplifting and not get emotionally involved in all of YOUR emotions.
Training my mind and heart to look at all the good things you are doing and point those out instead of the negative, that is hard work. Training my reactions to not get so involved in the whining and the crying, that is hard work. Training my ears to not go crazy because of all the noise around me all the time, that is hard work. Training the emotions in my chest to not get completely wound up and tight because of being "on" all the time, that is hard work. Training my patience and emotional stamina and forgiveness, that is hard work.It is just hard work being a parent. I should say, it is hard work being an active parent.
My heart is softening more and more to how tender every moment is for all of you. There are so many things that you are still learning. It is a big deal to you to have the stuffed animals in the 'certain' order on your bed. It is a big deal to you to just lay down and have me hold you. It is a big deal to you to give you hugs as much as possible. It is a big deal to you when I sit down and actually watch a movie with you instead of use it as time off to clean the kitchen. It is a big deal to you when I notice the little things you are doing right.
And it takes hard work as a parent to really be involved with everything that is a big deal to you.
I am learning. Slowly but surely. There is no better refining process than being a parent.
I love you,
Your Mom
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