The Missing Feeling

Dear Kids, 

It is good for me to feel the "missing feeling". 

I have always been the kind of person that really lives in the now. If I go away for a couple of days I usually don't really miss whoever is home. I think to myself, "It is just a couple of days, I am going to see you soon... have fun!" ... and then I take off!  I have felt homesickness in the past, but that has been wearing off because of getting into a groove of traveling. 

But you must know that your dad is the opposite of me. He feels so deeply, it is pretty amazing. His level of passion and feeling go very deep into his soul. He doesn't have to have reminders like I do of the missing feeling. 

Well, lately he has been gone a lot. And I think one of the lessons I need to learn from this is learning empathy for those who "miss" people. The other night I was talking to your dad on the phone and I missed him so much, my heart was aching deep inside my chest and I overflowed with emotion and cried... all because I missed him so badly. I told him, "I don't know how older couples do it when they lose each other. I can't imagine how badly they miss each other!"

I remember when my grandpa was like a different person after my grandma died. He was hollow. He was empty. She had his soul and the missing feeling took over his whole body. I get it now. I can't imagine that kind of missing feeling. 

I love your dad so much. I want you to remember when you look back on our lives as a family that when he was gone I am not the same. I am half a person. I am half a soul. He completes everything about my life and your life. It is good for me to deeply experience the immense missing feeling for him. I appreciate him so much more when I am reminded why I love to have him around. I love him so much more when I am reminded that it is easy to take his deep love for me for granted.

I love you... and remember that I love your dad like crazy. 

Your Mom