As I am writing this Talia just walked in the door crying and rubbing her head. She is coming up to me and grabbing my arms with tears streaming down her cheeks, "Mom, Gabe just hit me with the brown chair!"
I could reply, I could get up and go to Gabe, I could do a lot of things, but what I am doing now is picking her up without saying a word and she settles in snuggling on my lap.
She is sitting here, laying on my chest and now she is starting to giggle because she can hear me and feel my typing. She turns around and now her mind is off of her (more than body) hurting heart because of her brother hitting her.
There have been so many times in this last week that I have just wondered, "What am I doing wrong to have my kids fight so much?" I have tried intervening, I have tried teaching lots of different ways to communicate about it, I have tried soft answers, I have tried loud answers, I have tried so many tactics, but still fighting continues. My own mother has reminded me so many times of how much I would fight with my siblings. My sister and I would yell at each other so loud our parents would make us go outside to yell at each other. My poor neighbors growing up. Seriously, they knew the in's and out's of my drama as a teenager.
Kids just fight. Siblings just fight. There is conflict. I cannot have the expectation of it being peaceful all the time. It is not reality. Especially with three kids under five years old.
But what is reality is how I can be in my heart while the storm is going on around me. Like today. Today, it has been better. Soft Sunday music has been on and I have been calm in my responses as a mom. I haven't tried to get involved and fighting has still been happening, but I am more calm in my heart about it. The kids have been getting a long really well, but still having up's and down's... hence Talia being on my lap.
So, the up's and down's of emotions will still happen. The fighting will continue. Figuring out this thing called 'life' together as a family is going to be going on for the rest of our lives... But no matter what we have each other. And I can always look forward to snuggling with you before you go to bed and have a soft prayer to end our day. Remembering that you will always look to my example with out to set your boundaries and resolve conflict is a big motivator for me to have peace in my own heart.
I love you,
Your Mom
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