Yelling Mistakes & Doing A Little Bit Better

Dear Kids,

So I just got done doing something great with parenting, but it followed doing something not so great.

You have all been having a rough day today, and I let it get to me. I totally blew up on you. I yelled, told you all to go to your room... "EVERYONE NEEDS TO TAKE A BREAK! INCLUDING THE MOTHER!" (I call myself "the mother" in times like this a lot). It was one of those really mean yells, not the kind that I do that often... which I am glad of, because it really did get your attention.

I headed back to my room and just started crying. The last week with mothering I have done SO WELL. I have handled things with such calm energy, letting natural consequences happen, not wrapping my emotions around your behavior. Man, I was on a roll! But it all stopped over this weekend and today it just wasn't happening. I started in a downward spiral of thoughts, beating myself up, having psychological warfare.

So of course, I prayed about it and started listening to a devotional talk. I have to start my day with the spirit and with exercise. When I don't do that, it makes a huge difference. The last 3 days I haven't started my days the right way, and it caught up with me today. During the devotional talk the spirit said, "You need to go do a pow-wow with your kids. Do breathing exercises. Do stretching. Tell them you gave them a bad example. Then have them talk through their feelings."

So I gathered them in a circle in the living room, doing "criss-cross-applesauce". We did breathing exercises, I had them close their eyes, breathing in for 4 counts and out for 4 counts for about one minute. Then we stretched and I told them I was very sorry and I didn't handle things right, I asked them to forgive me, and then told them what I was frustrated about. I gave them all time to talk about why they were frustrated and what they have been feeling. Everyone apologized to each other and chose one thing to work on. I chose to work on yelling, Gabe chose to work on yelling, Talia chose to work better to include everyone, and Elijah chose to work on hitting.

The spirit came, the spirit was there... it is the Spirit that helps change hearts and makes a difference in parenting and in our lives. Learning how to ACT with the spirit the first time is something I am still working on... but I think that is a life long pursuit for most everyone on the earth!

Sometimes all we can do is apologize. Sometimes all we can do is breath. Sometimes all we can do is work on something a little bit better. Consist improvement over time.

I love you,

Your Mom