Generational Wounds

Dear Kids,

Wounds.

I just want to tell you directly that I already know and accept the fact that you will have emotional wounds from me and your father and it's okay.

It's okay.

It doesn't intimidate me that you will have to process feelings about us, how you were raised, what you start to think as adults, what you go through, what you want to have in your life and marriage that are different from ours.

It's okay.

I remember the first time that I looked at Brent and we both realized that "We don't have to do anything the way our parents did if we don't want." It was so liberating. So liberating.

So many things in our lives and how we raise you are because we believe firmly in what we are doing and how we are doing it because those are our answers for our family and our life.

But I want you to feel the freedom of knowing that you can also get your own answers and do your family in your own way. Your spouses will bring things to the table that will change all of it and that's okay too.

There are many wounds that I've had to process in life. There are even more wounds that Brent has had to process. And guess what - it doesn't mean that we love and respect our parents any less. Just because I have had to process things about my parents that have lodged deep in my soul and I realized I didn't want them there any more - it doesn't mean that I don't love them and respect them deeply. It has nothing to do with their self worth and all the amazing things that they DID do. Which - I've also processed those things as well!

You see - it's not just about looking at JUST the good and things I want to adopt from my parents, but it's also having the freedom to let go of the things that just aren't me.

And it's about having the freedom to do my family in my way.

With the gospel I've chosen to stay rooted in the church - same with your dad. We can't do this life without the gospel. We can't. We've been through too much with the enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to let go of that foundation.

And that is something I praise both of our parents for.

When I address my wounds, it also gives me the freedom to celebrate all the power from my parents as well. I love them. I respect them. They have taught me so much. And I love that I can do the same for you. That your dad can too.

We've both already broken so many chains and unhealthy ways of being - it's amazing. And you are going to do even more work to get rid of generational effects of unhealthy spiritual ways of being. That's the beauty of you feeling free to address any wounds we might cause. It's because it's letting go of any generational issues that have held on energetically to our family line and replacing it with faith and with hope and with love.

It allows you to forgive.

And forgive a lot.

I hope you forgive me for anything that you will need to work through.

No matter what, know that I did my best. I know that I will be able to stand before God and say, "I know I placed my five loaves and two fish before you in the best way I knew how. then you expanded the rest."

That's the key. I can't do this without them.

If the ONLY thing we teach you is to have a testimony of Jesus Christ and the restored gospel, then anything else you choose for your life is just fine with me.

I love you,

Your Mom