Dear Kids,
So last night I had a little bit of a melt down about all the changes that we are going through as a family. Just remember, when you read this, and you are the parent of four children and thinking about what's best for your family but also what's best for the development of your children, remember this decision that mom and dad are making right now and the sacrifices that we are making for you and your experiences in this life.
Ever since we were first married your dad and I have known that we want to be a "worldschooling" family. We have always had in our minds that we want you to be exposed to other cultures, other people, other types of skin, other types of beliefs... especially in order for you to understand how amazingly blessed we are as Latter-Day Saints in THIS time on THIS planet at THIS point in the prophecies. WE are all one in a million! Literally! Your dad and I both LOVED our missions so much, and that is where a lot of this has come from. We don't want you to get to be 18 years old and never experienced another culture before. We, very intentionally, have always had it in our goals to go abroad as a family and give you very diverse experiences in your development.
So here we are, following through on the beginning of that process of finally being at the stage where we can take you on that kind of adventure and experience. We don't have any babies anymore, our youngest is almost five years old and oldest almost 13. We are in the "sweet spot" of parenting in a way that we have a couple of years before Gabe needs to learn how to drive, get a job of his own and really start to move forward with his personal goals. It has taken us 15 years to get to this point and now we are looking at the situation staring at us in the face.
And God is telling us to leap!
When we found out that we needed to move, it was the perfect push that we needed. And God has told us multiple times to sell EVERYTHING, to get rid of EVERYTHING that we can and keep just the bare basics. We will keep enough to put together a kitchen when we settle again, our preparedness stuff and our memory stuff. Everything else we are getting rid of. God has told us to consecrate everything to Him and give up our attachments. He has told us to shed as much as possible. And it's crazy how much STUFF we have. It's just nuts how much stuff we have that we really just don't need.
Something else that we know is this experience, and why we are drawn to worldschooling, is also because of promises about living in various places and influencing people, families and couples all over the world. That phrase from my patriarchal blessing keeps ringing through my brain over and over again.
Anyway - knowing all of this when we were sitting down and breaking down the finances of it all last night and going over all the "logistics", it just hit me like a ton of bricks the heaviness of it all. Everything that we have to do, everything that needs to be accomplished in order to go over seas. Leaving our friends that have become like family to us, leaving the homeschooling community here and not knowing exactly when we are going to be back. Not knowing what is going to happen with the prophecies of the 2nd Coming of Christ and feeling the uncertainty of being without our storage that is just right in our home to always take care of us no matter what. Not knowing if another pandemic is going to be release and would cause us to get stuck in another country... there are so many fears and "what ifs" and all the things that can come up when deciding to make a move like this.
And then there's the kids and their friends. They have made such good friends here and we are going to miss them horribly. They are going to miss them like crazy.
But - I also know that the Lord has set us out on this journey. I know God is telling us to branch out. We have definitely received a "no" answer anytime we've looked at moving into another rental house. We are NOT to be spending our money on that anymore. I also know that this will bond us as a family very closely. We are going to experience things together that will create tighter bonds. This is going to expose you kids to so many different kinds of people and what so many people go through. It is going to expand your souls and expand your viewpoints. It is going to push us as parents to learn another language and increase our learning that way. There is so much good about it... let alone knowing that the Lord wants us to have a worldwide focus because we have worldwide missions to perform for Him.
And He has told us to go through with all of this. No matter how crazy it sounds and feels. He has told us to do this. And I will consecrate everything in order to follow Him because He has always led us the right way. Every time.
Turning point = Go on a mission to Russia (HUGE blessings from that, companions I love, learning Russian, declaring the gospel, loving the gospel, receiving an unshakable foundation from it)
Turning point = Go to massage school (HUGE blessings, degree, career opportunities)
Turning point = Go back to college again (HUGE blessings, meeting Robyn Bergstrom, greatest mentor, going to Chicago, better degree)
Turning point = Go to St. George (HUGE blessings, great and irreplacable career experiences, meeting Brent and getting married!)
Turning point = Having Kids! (Obviously my biggest blessings from that)
Turning point = Career changes with Brent (Every time God has moved him up and given more success)
Turning point = Different houses we've lived in (each house has represented different people and experiences in our lives that we needed to meet and be with)
Anyway - you get the point. Turning points move you along the pathway of life and those turning points CREATE your life. Every time I've had a turning point and followed God in it, each time He has shown us what to do and where to go and it's the perfect tapestry.
SO - the point of all this? We are going to take this Turning Point and we are going to follow God's counsel. Even when it doesnt' make a lot of sense. Right now we are looking at food shortages like crazy, we are looking at drought. We are looking at so many prophecies coming to pass. It doesn't make logical sense to get rid of everything right in the moment when we need to be more secure! We have been building up our lifestyle to try and handle it when this kind of stuff comes about, but God has said, "Get rid of it all. Consecrate yourselves to me. Shed everything."
And so we are following His counsel. No matter how illogical it might seem. He has us in His hands.
I felt a lot of fear. But today God gave me several tender mercies in messages that were sent to me through family and friends that has reminded me that I will do what God tells us to do, and not give up. I am willing to do this for Him and I am willing to do this if it means, especially if it means, that this is the path that we take in order to show your father more of WHO he is as the man of our family, as the patriarch of our family, and the immense VALUE he has to add to the world.
I love you kids. I love each of you. I will be curious to know the different memories each of you will have about the different phases that we go through as a family. Just know that every decision was for you. Please learn from everything that your dad and I are trying to give to you, and learn from our mistakes. We aren't perfect, and we've made so many mistakes, but we are doing everything we can to level up our lives. And then it's up to you to take what we give you and then level up your lives for your children.
I love you,
Your Mom
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