Dear Kids,
Besides just telling you about my feelings with each of you and my family, I need to tell you the things I'm struggling with personally so you know my inward movements and emotions. It's important for you to look back on my life, and on OUR lives together, to know what was going on within me at the same time, especially with things going on in the world.
Right now we are over a year into the CO VID- 19 pandemic. Initially "they" (the governments of the world and media handlers) told us it would be about a 2 week shut down until everything would be under control. The American people bought it hook, line and sinker.
Something you have to know about your dad and I - we are very versed in the deep state and the secret combinations of our day. There is so much going on in the world with the atrocities of mankind, it's too much to go into. But when you look back on our lives and see our decisions about things, I want you to know that we were FULLY aware of the back deals going on, the deep state agenda, the secrecies, all the corruptions, etc.
Anyway, because of that when Co-19 hit we immediately looked at it and smelled something was up. Something was wrong. We did research. We found out things about the virus and the connections with Wuhan. We read and studied and read some more so we would know what was happening. I'm SURE when we know everything there is to know, we will be blown away by everything that really happened inside of this "plan de mic".
The initial way the church responded was to close the temples down. Close the churches. We had to do home sacrament, go through lock downs, all the things. The church was very cautious with all of it and was ahead of the game the government was trying to throw around the world. The church urged everyone i the wearing of masks and with compliance. (which is their job).
Who knew that such a thing as masks would cause such an uproar among the saints?! But it did, and it still is to this day.
Anyway - there were many people I know that initially were very bothered by how the church was handling everything. Especially those of us who saw what was happening from the corruption perspective. We saw what was going on with all of this and the control that it was about.
Now don't get me wrong - Co-19 is deadly, especially for those with pre-existing conditions. But it isn't any more deadly than the flu, it's different than the flu with the way it attacks the body, but it isn't more deadly than the flu - initially. Now it's into delta variant and it's getting more aggressive. At the end of "Fiddler on the Roof" that we were in as a family, your dad and I got Co-19. We worked through it and I'm REALLY glad that we got it at the beginning of everything because I do believe it's mutating in a very interesting way.
But anyway- I'm not a virologist, but I've done my best to understand it from the medical perspective. Of course we need to be careful about caring for each other from the medical stand point.
But where it's been difficult is from the freedom standpoint.
Anyway - Your dad and I received a lot of clarity about what was happening with the church's response. So many are upset with the way they have responded because, especially "freedom fighters" have expected the brethren to stand up to the tyranny. But your dad and I got a lot of clarity on that.
It isn't the brethren's job to stand up to tyranny. It's OURS as a PEOPLE of this country. WE create the government that the brethren get to work with. WE THE PEOPLE create the government of the USA and we have allowed tyranny to take over. Now there are so many who are upset with the brethren for not standing up more - when it reality that's our job.
Anyway - I thought we were past some of this stuff and I was finding more peace in my soul about it all. But JUST like the media and "powers that be" predicted - we are getting into the fall and now they are pushing the agenda once again. Pushing the agenda that we need more lock downs because we aren't "winning this war". And especially now that the vaccine is out, they are pushing it like crazy and trying to get mandates all over the place.
So the latest thing is the First Presidency just a couple of days ago put out a letter that as a global church we need to adhere to the advise of government officials and wear masks and urged us to get the vaccine.
Well - people went CRAZY about that letter. And I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. It REALLY bothered me. The first day it was put out I got so many messages from so many people asking what I thought about it. So many mixed messages from all over the place. Some saying to follow the prophet no matter what, some saying that it was an administrative decision in order to keep temples open around the world and not revelation, some saying that the brethren are part of the "Ca bal" and they are bought and paid for by the deep state (which I don't believe). SO MANY ATTACKS. Some attacking that if we don't do this then we are going to hell.
And I have to admit that this was a tough one for me because I don't believe in the va ccine effectiveness, there are many people who have also died from the shot. I don't believe wearing masks is the answer. I don't believe we should mandate ANYTHING, it isn't constitutional.
As I sat on it and felt through it I realized this is exactly how I feel:
I am not mad at the brethren. Far from it. They are doing their best at the head of this church to work with the governments of the world in order to keep the temples and church open. No. It's not about them and their decisions.
I am sad we the people have let it get this far. I am sad that we didn't stand up for liberty long before this kind of control came into play. I am sad that more of us haven't been awake to the deep state and what has been happening in order to keep it from getting to this point. The Brethren are simply trying to work with the government that WE THE PEOPLE have allowed to become so corrupt! It's OUR FAULT not the brethren's fault.
But my ultimate sadness is that I NEVER thought in a million years that the action that I would take of peaceably standing up for my constitutional rights by NOT adhering to the suggestions of a corrupt government would "look" like rebellion against the suggestions of the First Presidency! I never thought in a million years it would look like that.
I have been torn up inside so much because of this. I cried to God about it today during my quiet Sunday time. I just told him, "Father, I don't want to rebel against my prophet! I have no desire to do that! I want to follow suggestions from a prophet! I want to teach my children to follow the prophet always. But how to do I teach my children that AND also stand up for my constitutional rights? How do I show them how to adhere to constitutional freedoms without it coming across as not listening to the prophet? How do I show them that the deep state is horrible and corrupt and NOT give into the agenda of the deep state without it looking like spiritual rebellion?". It has been so hard for me. SO HARD.
I am working it out in my mind and in my heart. A lot. I still don't really have my answers - I am wanting to quiet myself in order to understand. I know I must have the Holy Ghost talk to me about it all. I must listen to Him to get my answers. Not someone outside of myself.
The dreaded part of my heart wonders... is this the suggestions from the brethren because they know it's just too late? Is it too late to stand up to this tyranny? do they know that and so now all that matters is that we stay alive to spread the gospel? I LOVE this gospel. I know the Brethren have to do everything in their power to keep the church running while "the beast" controls the land (as we are told in Revelations).
Sooooo... I am going to sit with it and listen to the spirit. I need to keep myself humble and prayerful. Always humble and prayerful. Listening to the Lord.
I love you kids. I know more is coming. I know there is so much we are going to have to face together. But inside of it all please know that I LOVE JESUS. I love His Gospel. I know my covenants will keep me safe. I know they will keep all of you safe. I love the power of the priesthood. I love the constitution. I love God's laws that way.
I love you,
Your Mom
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