Mother's Day Thoughts

 Dear Kids, 

Today is Mother's Day. It has definitely been a day that has been full of all kinds of emotions. 

I have felt immense JOY. Joy at being a mother. Talia made me breakfast this morning and all of you couldn't wait for me to open my gift. Your dad was so nice to take everyone out yesterday to find something for me. I felt JOY at the goodness of your hearts that wanted me to have something special. 

I have felt sadness. I miss my mom! This is the first Mother's Day without her. I miss hearing her voice and hearing her laugh. I miss her ability to help everyone feel welcome and wanting to keep everyone's hearts okay. She was so amazing at helping everyone feel special. I want to cultivate that within myself. I just miss my mom. 

I have felt a lot of homesickness today. I haven't wanted to be here in Mexico anymore. All of you asked us today, "Do we HAVE to stay for classes? Can't we just go home?" Honestly I wanted to say yes to that as well. Your dad was strong and told everyone that we needed to stay for all of church because it was the right place for us to be. Which he is right. But man, I have been just missing home a lot. I have wanted to be around all my family and friends during moments like this. 

I have had a lot of thoughts about mother hood. My friend, Katie Vrajich, made a post today on Facebook and I think it echos my thoughts a lot. She said this:

"One of my favorite things is to snap pictures of my friends doing normal motherly things. I love to look at those pictures and think of all of the millions of little things they do every day. It really is miraculous. It is truly a thing of beauty!

Child bearing and rearing is a gift of epic proportion. It has changed my heart completely.

But that isn't the only important part of motherhood. Long before children were ever thought of, Eve was given her name because "she is the mother of all living." What is it about a woman that engenders life? What is it that makes things grow?

My hypothesis is that it is love. I think that the LOVE of God, when it just flows right through us, has the ability to purify and refine us and infinitely create, nurture and grow the things and people around us.

It is literally our divine nature.

Wow. What a gift."

I have thought a lot about the LOVE in my heart. There have been a lot of emotions I've felt lately that have been very selfish in many ways. I have just come to see how much more I have to go to truly be a selfless person. It's also a challenge because of knowing how to have proper boundaries while practicing selflessness. I am still a work in progress and I am learning how to apply the principles of being Spiritually Centered within my own heart constantly. 

I feel like I am evolving so much the last few years. I feel like I am becoming a completely new person and I am trying to decide how I like that. I really love the old person I was, but this new person has new life experiences and more wisdom to back her up. This new person is trying to decide how to handle things in her relationship with her husband and her children as they grown into new people as well. 

There are a lot of things going in our home constantly. I just hope I am handling them the right way. 

I want to do things for Heavenly Father. 

All in all - I am SO GRATEFUL for Mother's Day. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Mother and I can't wait to get to know her better, depending on when more revelation is given about her and how I recieve more personal revelation about her. 

More than anything I agree with what Katie said. We grow things and people around us because of LOVE. It is quite a gift. I want to just let God's love flow through me. 

Please Lord, help me to feel Thy divine LOVE for everything and everyone around me. Please Lord, help me to let go of pride. Lord, show me how I can become more like Jesus in my family relationships. I love Thee Lord, Help my children know how much I love them and how grateful I am that I am their mother. 

I love you kids, 

Your Mom