Dear Kids,
I am sitting at the kitchen table and listening to the sounds of "Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom" in the background as Elijah's plays the game. Joshua is telling him where to move and saying things like "Watch out! Go that way! Are you sure you are ready to fight him again?". It's adorable.
The boys have been earning screens with their "bingo charts" and Gabriel has been following his daily schedule with his homework. Talia went to babysit someone in the ward after math class.
Pretty normal day.
It's strange. Even on the normal day I have this thing happening in my heart about life.
It's a feeling of... "What's next?".
We have a good routine with school. We have a good routine with vitamins and eating right and having good friends and doing our church callings and dad working and all the "things". I have this feeling of "What's next?".
It is a feeling that is a little bit... unsettling. I don't have any major issues to come up. It is nice to have life just be "normal". We spent YEARS in poverty, years figuring out our marriage, years with babies, years with sickness, years with death of family, years of so many things.
And now I am finding that life is slowing down a little bit. And it's NOT slow at all. It's slowing down in a specific way. No more catastrophe's.
That's so nice. It's amazing to have NO CATASTROPHE'S! No one is majorly ill. Our income in stable. The kids are all moving through life in school. It's amazing actually. I feel like I've been on the edge of some kind of crisis for so long, that I don't know how to come down out of it.
Don't get me wrong, our life is busy. My life is SUPER busy right now. I'm in my car all the time taking kids here and there. The kids are involved in a lot of great things with school and activities. We always have something that we are doing and involved with. Rise Up Academy has been the HUGEST blessing for our family this year and we are SUPER busy with everything happening there with classes, preparing classes, Shakespeare play, Classical Acting play, service projects, gearing up for next year and all the things.
Having *almost* three teenagers and one *almost* tween is a busy and GREAT time of life. AND... I don't have any crises going on right now. I'm SO GRATEFUL.
I'm finding that coming down from survival and crisis is something that I'm getting used to.
I'm also finding that I have a lot in life I have left to do. What do I need to do to give back? What do I need to do to make a difference in the world? What do I need to do in order to help my family more? How can I love my husband more? How can I serve in the kingdom more? How can I develop my talents more?
It's a GOOD in between space because I can actually really start thinking about these things. It's so nice.
I read my last post about if I died unexpectedly. I'm so glad that I didn't! I am so glad that I am living and breathing and moving and doing life like this.
I am so grateful for life. I am grateful for the EVERYDAY NORMAL LIFE!
I love you kids. So much. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful, everyday life.
I love you,
Your Mom
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