Just More Feeling About Having Teenagers and Kids Growing Up

 Dear Kids, 

We are starting to know what it is going to be like to have kids in and out of the house a lot. 

Gabe was gone for over a week to All Stars Camp. That was an amazing experience for him. Now he is gone again to a mission farewell of a friend for about 5 hours. Talia was at a dance camp, she'll have girls camp and FSY. Elijah was gone to boys camp. There have been many days this summer that have been half of our family gone. 

It's strange. 

I've raised you to be independent and to go out and follow your dreams. Your dad and I have been very intentional about encouraging you to GET OUT and GO DO. And now that you are old enough to start to do all of those things on your own... well... I didn't realize how much I would miss you when you are gone. 

I miss you when you aren't here. 

I miss our conversations. 

I miss seeing you and laughing with you. 

I miss seeing you play with each other. 

I miss the innocence of what little kids meant. 

I miss how everything was "new" when you were young. 

I miss the little things to worry about, instead of the big things (like driving and adult decisions).

I just didn't anticipate how much I would miss you when you were little and how much I would miss our family just being together away from everything else around us. I am SO GRATEFUL that I homeschooled you when you were all young. I love the memories of just being together and enjoying the slow mornings together. 

Do you remember those times? When you would just wake up and start playing with each other. I would want to do "the morning basket" for schooling for the day but I couldn't stand the thought of interrupting your beautiful free play. You all got to free play SO MUCH. 

There are so many things from when you were young that I'm SO GLAD your dad and I decided to do. 

I am so glad that you got to free play EVERY morning if you wanted to. I am so glad that we had so much time together with JUST our family EVERY DAY. I am so glad that I got to hug you every morning without rushing you out the door. I am so glad that we had devotionals together and that we enjoyed making meals together. I am so glad that we were always out exploring nature. I am so glad that you gardened with me and we worked together. I am so grateful for bed time routines and how we were able to tuck you in at night. 

I am just in this place of motherhood where so much is changing. So much is changing in this place. And I'm just still trying to figure out how to be a really great mom - and what that looks like with teenagers. 

Eventually I might have my head wrapped around it. And then you'll all move out and I'll have to get my head wrapped around that too!

I would just give you this word of advice:

When you are parents - TRULY SOAK IT IN. Do everything you can to spend as much time with your kids as you can. You won't have regrets if you do that. 

I love you kids, 

Love,

Your Mom