Dear Talia,
I want this to talk to just you.
You are a girl who is full of PASSION. You have so much in your soul.
And right now as a 14 - almost 15 - year old, that passion is taking over your ability to reason with life. You are passionate about your friends, you are passionate about how you feel about things, about your opinions, your desires, your interpretation of friends and family, your social experiences... so many things.
This whole school year you have slowly become more and more disrespectful and a VERY big attitude. It was one of those things that kept building in a way that I didn't realize how bad it was getting until it was really hard to be around. I just allowed you to keep being more and more rude to me, and now I am seeing the results of that boundary not being up.
I was so worried about it at the end of the school year. I was like, "What have I don't to show her this example of how to treat people?". I was at my wit's end about it.
But then the trip happened. The first week on the trip was a huge emotional CLEANSE for you. But after the first week... all of a sudden I HAD MY TALIA BACK! You were happy again! We had so much being with each other. We had ups and downs on the trip for sure, but for the most part our family cleansed of everything else except being together and it was GLORIOUS.
Then we got back. Everyone was settled for the first couple of days, especially you. You had such a great outlook on life.
But yesterday all your previous attitude came out in FULL FORCE. Wow... yesterday was a hard day. Your communication to me has never been so shocking. It really hurt my feelings, in a really big way.
So this morning I am just sitting in bed praying about this over and over again. I have been praying, "What do we do about this? Is this my fault? Have I given her a bad example or something? What am I not seeing?".
Then Mimi came to talk to me. I heard her say, "Andrea, think about the trip. Did she get worse or better with more family time?"
I answered, "Better".
"If it is your family's fault, wouldn't she have gotten worse with more time with you? If it was your fault, she would have been WORSE by the end of the trip, not better."
It was so good for me to have that assurance from the spirit and my mom about that TRUTH. This behavior is NOT our family's fault. If anything, we need MORE family time in order to help your emotions to settle down.
You actually have good friends. I really believe that the girls you hang out with are good girls. I just think that you are SO AWARE of everything around you, you are so aware of everyone around you, you are so aware of all the intricacies of life and you INTERNALIZE EVERYTHING.
And when you start hanging out with friends and having too much time, it affects you in a big way. You are an empath and trying to navigate all the energy of everyone around you is over stimulating in a HUGE way and you don't know how to navigate it all yet.
Plus you are in the throws of not feeling enough. You are looking to worldly answers to try to help you feel good about life and it doesn't work and it will never work!
As your mom you will have NO IDEA how much I have prayed for you about this whole issue... not until you become a mother of a teenage girl as well and you feel all of these big things from her. I am grasping for answers of how to help you, without just shoving you under a rock and never allowing you to have a social life.
I don't know... maybe just getting away until you are 25 is just the right answer.
I am praying and pleading for help with you right now. Please know when you read this, no matter how old you are, that I really did my best for you. I love you. I want you to be happy.
I love you,
Your Mom
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