Importance Of Love Buckets & Behavior

Dear Gabriel,

So yesterday was a really hard day with you. Everything that was happening around us was wrong in your mind. You are a boy who has a lot of 'rules' in your head about every situation and how things should go, and when those unspoken rules and expectations are not met, emotionally you have a hard time.

Most days it is pretty easy to reason with you, talk you through things and then you will move on. But yesterday it wasn't happening at all. You were mad when you woke up, you didn't want to participate in obedience at all, you were defiant and talked back to me constantly.

So I really thought about it and prayed about it last night and this morning. I was just told to be 'watchful' of you today. What I noticed is that your love bucket has not been filled. You kept asking me today to do things with you. Quality time is TOTALLY your love language. And I noticed that my immediate reaction when you would ask me was, "well, in a minute", or "I can't right now", or "after I finish with ____". I have built up some bad habits of not noticing enough when you are asking me, in your own way, to fill up your love bucket.

I took time today, whenever you would ask me, to take the time with you. And a magical thing happened. You woke up mad, like you did yesterday, but as the day went on you have become more and more happy, obedient, thoughtful and helpful. Tonight, you are a completely different boy. You just really needed your specific love bucket filled.

It will be easy to over-look you as the years go on because of how capable you are and because

you are the oldest. You were put in this place for a reason. For the next few years there will always be a baby to be taken care of. So your dad and I are going to need to really pay attention to you and your 'cues' of when you are needing to have your love bucket filled.

I love you, and I am so grateful you are the spirit who came to me first. You are the most patient with my weaknesses.

Your Mom