The other night your dad and I were folding laundry together. We started talking and laughing about something that happened earlier in our marriage. I realized I have never written this story down, so I am going to tonight.
The first time your dad and I did laundry together, after we were married, he watched me fold towels. I folded them in halves. I had always folded them in halves. After I folded a few towels he said, "You are folding the towels wrong". Well, immediately my guard was up. I got very prideful and said, "No I am not! I have always folded towels this way. This is how my mom showed me to fold them."
He then proceeded to show me a 'better' way to fold towels (according to him anyway) which was in thirds. He said, "When you fold them in thirds they fit into the shelves so much easier." Well, by this time I was NOT going to give into saying that his way was better. So I just said, "When you do laundry, you can fold your towels that way, but when I do laundry I am going to fold them my way."
For over 2 years we continued to argue about whose way was better to fold towels.
Well, after Gabriel was born, Mimi and Papa came to visit us for about a week. Mimi helped me with the laundry and we got our house into some great order. Then they left. About a month later, we went up to their house in Idaho to visit for the holidays.
One day while we were there I was helping Mimi do the laundry. And she folded her towels in thirds! I said, "Mom! You have never folded your towels like that. What are you doing?"
Now here comes the lesson...
"Well, when I was at your house, I saw Brent folding your towels in thirds. It looked so much nicer and fit so much better in the shelves. So when I got home, I decided I was going to change."
I just stood there and looked at her. Then I laughed and told her that we had been arguing over towels for a couple of years, about which way was 'better'. Because she wasn't emotionally tied into the pride and power struggle, she could clearly see that folding them in thirds was actually a better way. After folding laundry with her I was able to see the silliness of the power struggle and let go of it. And mostly because, without realizing it, my mom gave me 'permission' to change.
Life is about changing for the better, learning from other people, especially in marriage and family life. This is a story I am going to tell many times in my life because of the simple lesson involved in it. Let go of the power struggle, see the situation for what it is, and then let go of the pride. Look around your life right now and see what you might need to change, but you are holding onto for some unknown reason. Then take a deep breath, let go of your pride, and see a better way.
I love you,
Your Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment