Dear Kids,
I have been feeling a need to change some things up in our homeschooling. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how it needs to look honestly.
I just feel like we need a cleanse from everything we know. We need to cleanse our food, cleanse our souls, cleanse our education.
Luckily, warm weather is coming and we are going to be able to get out to the lake a lot more often. That is what I'm looking forward to the most. I want to be out in nature and let you guys just play, get in the sand and dirt, and enjoy everything around you. I'm excited to do that together again this spring.
Other thing I want to change up as well. I want more art. I want more celebration. I want more of all of those heart things = but I know that I need to mix that in with secular learning as well. Gabe doesn't have much longer until he is going to be doing lots of big kid schooling, and I feel like I have a sweet spot for the next year or so to just be together before he really starts to take off on his own stuff. I want to have those memories together and all of those experiences together.
I know you all want to earn more money as well - that is something I've been emotionally and energetically working on a lot. We need more income into our family and we might as well do it together so you can all earn more money along the way.
I also know that we have precious little time together. I'm feeling more and more of a draw to be doing so many projects together in order to really build your skills for life. I feel really good about how we are doing things in our home, I know that you are all learning how to work for what you want, and I'm so glad about that.
The other thing that just keeps coming back to me is to build your self concept like crazy. That I'm here to build your self esteem and how you feel about yourself, then the academics will come. That of course comes together with also doing spiritual lessons and having a foundation in the gospel. I know that Come Follow Me Lessons are some of the most important lessons to work on together. But that schooling is not just about "getting things done" - it is about emotionally being so involved in what we are doing that I don't even realize that we are accomplishing so much along the way.
I am so grateful for homeschooling. It is a refiners fire for me, and really for anyone who homeschools. Homeschooling refines the parent so much. There is so much for me to learn from - from YOU!
I love you kids.
Your Mom
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Owning Kids Emotions And Triggers
Dear Kids,
If there was one thing from today that I want to write down, it is this:
Don't Own Your Kids Emotions.
When you are parents, you are going to start to understand the challenge it is to let go of your kids emotions. It's so easy to "own" your emotions, of everything you are going through. When you are mad, sad, frustrated, angry - mainly all the negative emotions.
Since getting back from the trip to see Colleen I have noticed my triggers getting back home with you. A few of my biggest triggers are:
Meal Times: I am hugely triggered by meal times and whether or not you eat. ESPECIALLY when we have to leave. Last night before rehearsal, I was getting triggered BIG TIME that Elijah wasn't eating. I was mainly triggered because I knew if he didn't eat, then an hour into rehearsal he would be a HANGRY MONSTER. So I was getting my emotions all wrapped around his actions of whether or not he was going to eat. That is a HUGE trigger for me.
It's important for me to realize where my triggers are because then I can proactively think about what I need to do in order to be more prepared for them the next time they come around. I like to create positive ways of reacting in my meditation times, so that way I am creating my reaction and not reacting to your emotions.
Fighting: I am big time triggered by when you guys fight. I also have a hard time knowing when to be involved and when to bow out. I feel like I've been involved too much, and it's been a detriment to your social development, because you need to learn how to conflict manage on your own. But, I also don't like when the fighting escalates and brings so much contention into our home. I need to still figure out a battle plan for these times. A consistent battle plan. My mom would send my sister and I on the porch and we would yell at each other out there. But I don't think I could do that in this neighborhood because our houses are all so close together.
I've tried having you go into the bathroom before, but that hasn't been the best place either. Maybe try your bedrooms? But then things get thrown around and that's not cool either. You boys are especially so physical, I have to really thing before hand about how to handle it.
But then I think - maybe I'm owning your fighting too much. Maybe I just say, "That's loud for my ears - head to the other room and don't get blood on the carpet". I'm still working on this one, but I know that I am owning your fighting too much. I'm wrapping my emotions around it too much and I am going to be actively working on what to do about it.
I think one of the first things I want to start trying is when there starts to be a fight - that I will leave and go pray. I don't want to just be "running" from the situation, but I also need to completely change my thought patterns around how to handle it, so I have to interrupt the pattern of how I'm reacting at this point. And I know one of the only ways to do that is to pray.
Really - those are the biggest triggers. Eating and Fighting. Bedtime can be a trigger for me as well, but luckily your dad is home by then and if I need to bow out, then I can ask him to take over, which is nice and wonderful of him.
I'm so grateful for your dad!
I love you kids. I love you so much. I hope you always remember THAT more than anything.
Your Mom
If there was one thing from today that I want to write down, it is this:
Don't Own Your Kids Emotions.
When you are parents, you are going to start to understand the challenge it is to let go of your kids emotions. It's so easy to "own" your emotions, of everything you are going through. When you are mad, sad, frustrated, angry - mainly all the negative emotions.
Since getting back from the trip to see Colleen I have noticed my triggers getting back home with you. A few of my biggest triggers are:
Meal Times: I am hugely triggered by meal times and whether or not you eat. ESPECIALLY when we have to leave. Last night before rehearsal, I was getting triggered BIG TIME that Elijah wasn't eating. I was mainly triggered because I knew if he didn't eat, then an hour into rehearsal he would be a HANGRY MONSTER. So I was getting my emotions all wrapped around his actions of whether or not he was going to eat. That is a HUGE trigger for me.
It's important for me to realize where my triggers are because then I can proactively think about what I need to do in order to be more prepared for them the next time they come around. I like to create positive ways of reacting in my meditation times, so that way I am creating my reaction and not reacting to your emotions.
Fighting: I am big time triggered by when you guys fight. I also have a hard time knowing when to be involved and when to bow out. I feel like I've been involved too much, and it's been a detriment to your social development, because you need to learn how to conflict manage on your own. But, I also don't like when the fighting escalates and brings so much contention into our home. I need to still figure out a battle plan for these times. A consistent battle plan. My mom would send my sister and I on the porch and we would yell at each other out there. But I don't think I could do that in this neighborhood because our houses are all so close together.
I've tried having you go into the bathroom before, but that hasn't been the best place either. Maybe try your bedrooms? But then things get thrown around and that's not cool either. You boys are especially so physical, I have to really thing before hand about how to handle it.
But then I think - maybe I'm owning your fighting too much. Maybe I just say, "That's loud for my ears - head to the other room and don't get blood on the carpet". I'm still working on this one, but I know that I am owning your fighting too much. I'm wrapping my emotions around it too much and I am going to be actively working on what to do about it.
I think one of the first things I want to start trying is when there starts to be a fight - that I will leave and go pray. I don't want to just be "running" from the situation, but I also need to completely change my thought patterns around how to handle it, so I have to interrupt the pattern of how I'm reacting at this point. And I know one of the only ways to do that is to pray.
Really - those are the biggest triggers. Eating and Fighting. Bedtime can be a trigger for me as well, but luckily your dad is home by then and if I need to bow out, then I can ask him to take over, which is nice and wonderful of him.
I'm so grateful for your dad!
I love you kids. I love you so much. I hope you always remember THAT more than anything.
Your Mom
Seeing Colleen With Gabe
Dear Kids,
Gabe and I just got back from a trip to go see Colleen, your adopted aunt. I love her so much! I met her in college, when we lived by each other. Then we went to Chicago with the inner city youth camp, and then we moved to St. George together and lived together until I got married to your dad.
Colleen and I have been through a lot together. She has taught me so much, and continues to teach me so much. We learned together how to communicate, how to be open and vulnerable, how to support and be as a family. She taught me about getting to the root of issues, processing my feelings, going through situations and evaluating them so we can understand people and circumstances better. So much of my communication ability is because of Colleen! I credit her so much with teaching me about how to get into my heart, how to get into my pain, address it and do my inside therapy with God.
It was so wonderful to be with her, especially together with Gabe. It was refreshing to travel together with ONE child. I got to just be together with JUST Gabe. That hasn't happened since he was 18 months old when Talia was born! I loved having the quality time with him, and watching him, just being with him. It was refreshing to have NO interruptions when he wanted to talk to me, and just be with me. I loved it! It definitely needs to be part of our culture to have one on one time with each of you in a traveling situation like that for a couple of days. It enriched our relationship just being together.
It was also completely rejuvenating because I had NO ONE touching me for four days. I didn't realize how much that replenished my ability to touch each of you until getting home. I have so much more touch energy for all of you! It helped me so much to have days on end with no one touching me. Gabe would snuggle with me, but then he'd be doing something else. It was so rejuvenating. Don't get me wrong, I love snuggling and touching each of you - but sometimes I just run out of touches! I don't have any more touch energy at the end of the day sometimes!
Another thing was watching Colleen and just her ability to "be" with the kids around her and accept them just as they are. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything there is to do as a mother (which is not bad - it just overwhelms me sometimes), that I forget to just "be" and watch you and enjoy you exactly as you are. She reminds me all the time about how to do that. She helps me to look at you all with such different eyes. She has all the energy in the world to give to kids around her - granted I know that is because she doesn't have any right now - but it is just a good reminder for me.
Her daughter Kessa was there as well. She placed Kessa for adoption when Colleen was 19 years old. I admire her decision to do that so much. Colleen then got permission from the First Presidency to go on a mission. Kessa is now 21 years old. Crazy it was that long ago! Colleen and I have known each other for 17 years! Kessa wanted to have a change of scenery and life, so she asked Colleen to come stay with her for a few months. I know it is helping Kessa to be around Colleen as well. And it's helping Colleen with so many aspects of wanting to have a family. She's realizing how much she would have to give to kids around her when she gets married. It's a LOT of energy output to be a mom. A LOT. It's just part of the job description. And it's all worth it.
After getting home from the trip that last couple of days I have been so much more at peace with the rhythm of the day together with you. So much more capable to go with your flow as children - which I know is because of being with Colleen. I want to flow with you as children - but also keep in mind that I am your mentor as well. Sometimes every child has the tendency to be lazy - it's part of life. There are many times when I have to push you to get things done, and that's appropriate as well. It's part of my job. But my patience level with you has increased BIG TIME since getting home. I'm so grateful for the reset. I needed it badly.
I love you kids. I love you so much. Thank you for being my children,
Your Mom
Gabe and I just got back from a trip to go see Colleen, your adopted aunt. I love her so much! I met her in college, when we lived by each other. Then we went to Chicago with the inner city youth camp, and then we moved to St. George together and lived together until I got married to your dad.
Colleen and I have been through a lot together. She has taught me so much, and continues to teach me so much. We learned together how to communicate, how to be open and vulnerable, how to support and be as a family. She taught me about getting to the root of issues, processing my feelings, going through situations and evaluating them so we can understand people and circumstances better. So much of my communication ability is because of Colleen! I credit her so much with teaching me about how to get into my heart, how to get into my pain, address it and do my inside therapy with God.
It was so wonderful to be with her, especially together with Gabe. It was refreshing to travel together with ONE child. I got to just be together with JUST Gabe. That hasn't happened since he was 18 months old when Talia was born! I loved having the quality time with him, and watching him, just being with him. It was refreshing to have NO interruptions when he wanted to talk to me, and just be with me. I loved it! It definitely needs to be part of our culture to have one on one time with each of you in a traveling situation like that for a couple of days. It enriched our relationship just being together.
It was also completely rejuvenating because I had NO ONE touching me for four days. I didn't realize how much that replenished my ability to touch each of you until getting home. I have so much more touch energy for all of you! It helped me so much to have days on end with no one touching me. Gabe would snuggle with me, but then he'd be doing something else. It was so rejuvenating. Don't get me wrong, I love snuggling and touching each of you - but sometimes I just run out of touches! I don't have any more touch energy at the end of the day sometimes!
Another thing was watching Colleen and just her ability to "be" with the kids around her and accept them just as they are. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything there is to do as a mother (which is not bad - it just overwhelms me sometimes), that I forget to just "be" and watch you and enjoy you exactly as you are. She reminds me all the time about how to do that. She helps me to look at you all with such different eyes. She has all the energy in the world to give to kids around her - granted I know that is because she doesn't have any right now - but it is just a good reminder for me.
Her daughter Kessa was there as well. She placed Kessa for adoption when Colleen was 19 years old. I admire her decision to do that so much. Colleen then got permission from the First Presidency to go on a mission. Kessa is now 21 years old. Crazy it was that long ago! Colleen and I have known each other for 17 years! Kessa wanted to have a change of scenery and life, so she asked Colleen to come stay with her for a few months. I know it is helping Kessa to be around Colleen as well. And it's helping Colleen with so many aspects of wanting to have a family. She's realizing how much she would have to give to kids around her when she gets married. It's a LOT of energy output to be a mom. A LOT. It's just part of the job description. And it's all worth it.
After getting home from the trip that last couple of days I have been so much more at peace with the rhythm of the day together with you. So much more capable to go with your flow as children - which I know is because of being with Colleen. I want to flow with you as children - but also keep in mind that I am your mentor as well. Sometimes every child has the tendency to be lazy - it's part of life. There are many times when I have to push you to get things done, and that's appropriate as well. It's part of my job. But my patience level with you has increased BIG TIME since getting home. I'm so grateful for the reset. I needed it badly.
I love you kids. I love you so much. Thank you for being my children,
Your Mom
Thursday, February 6, 2020
Meditation Time With Christ
Dear Kids,
I've written a bit about the process your dad and I are going through right now. We are being stretched spiritually in a way that is completely transformative.
Something I've been contemplating A LOT lately is "How much of trials are our creation and how much of them are given from God?"
I believe we are more powerful that we could ever imagine with what we create in our lives. We don't give ourselves enough credit for the "God's and Goddess's" we are in our own lives and the natural consequences that happen from various ways of being, especially emotionally and spiritually. Especially with how things show up in our bodies - Disease is the body "not at ease".
This has been on my mind SO MUCH especially because of what Mimi has gone through with her health in the last two years, and with what Shayla is going through with cancer.
There was revealed more to Shayla's cancer story the other day, so much heart ache, growth and MAJOR rollercoaster they are on as a family right now. I have gone to God so many times asking Him, how much of what they are experiencing is created compared to given? I have wanted to know, not from a judgmental standpoint, but from a place of understanding. I want to understand if it has been created - why and how it was (especially for my own emotional codes I'm working on), and if it has been given - why and how as well.
It has been on my mind and heart SO MUCH. I did a meditation session a couple weeks ago, and I tried to dive into energetic healing. I am given the gift of healing in my patriarchal blessing, and I have been in a place spiritually where I want to try and work with that gift more. So I tried in my session to energetically try and help to heal what Shayla is going through.
I learned a lot from that session - first I learned that I am a BABY in the healing arts. I have SO MUCH TO LEARN. The next thing I learned is that I felt myself take some of what Shayla is going through emotionally and put it into my body. The spirit was very specific about warning me about doing that because that is NOT the proper stewardship for healing.
I had to do some energetic work to let that go - I had to do a couple sessions giving that back to Jesus because I had taken it into my body too much. But - still working on this understanding of creation compared to given.
When I found out more to her cancer story that was just heartbreaking - my heart felt so tender for her and what they are experiencing. My heart has been made more tender because of so many experiences Brent and I have been through - our trials haven't been the kind that is for the public to know about so it's a bit harder to describe - but nevertheless a result of going through our trials and hard things has been that my heart has been made more tender for people when they go through their own aches, sadness, stress, and hardships.
As my heart was feeling so tender for her, I knew I needed to have a spiritual experience and understandings given to me.
So this morning I woke up a bit early before everyone would come into the room, and I did a meditation session. After getting past breathing and settling my body, usually I go into the initiatory body scan. The last few times when I go into that body scan I will invite specific angels to come and administer to me. Today I said, "Who needs to come to me today?"
Not a split second passed and the Savior was there. I get emotional just thinking about it. He was right there with me, and the whole pondering session I did was with Him there next to me, counseling with me and my feelings.
Our Savior administers to the one. And today, I was the one.
I asked him about Shayla and my question of how much was given and how much was created. I have had the concern that if it is has been created - are God's hands tied because of the result of free agency? As I asked the Savior this He said, "Andrea - it is both. It's both creation and given. AND - the Atonement covers it all. Whether it was created or given, the Atonement covers every portion of it. Everything they are feeling, experiencing, going through, have on their plate, the Atonement I performed is there for all of it. It isn't important for you to know exactly how it was created within her body. What is important for you to know is that I am holding her through this, whether she created it or it was given. It is also so important that you don't dive into the healing processes until you have YOUR insides figured out first. And you have to have her permission to go into any kind of energy healing."
He counseled me on my feelings, the goodness of my heart, validation for the blessing I received from Brent the other day. Explaining to me that my feminine nature is about CREATION, Brent's masculine nature is about EXPANSION. That is the base for feminine and masculine. I create. He expands. Christ tried to show me "being carried away by the spirit" and I experienced it for a split second, but my body was fighting for me, didn't want me to leave it. And Christ just smiles and said, "It takes practice".
Because of what we've been experiencing with our meditations I have been hungry to learn about meditation. I have been listening to a lot of podcasts and classes about it. Which have been very informative and very validating. Part of the reason for listening is because I want to gain new skills to do with meditation. But every time I've listened to one, there hasn't been a lot new for me to learn about the process itself. I've learned a lot more about the 'science' of it and what happens in the brain. But the actual process and experience with meditation, there hasn't been a lot new.
Well, during this experience with Christ He counseled me very specifically, "Andrea, you don't need to be looking for outside help with understanding this process. If you want to find out more about the science of it and the brain and the body and how everything interacts, that is okay. But you don't need to be looking to anyone about if there is something more for you to learn. They have NOTHING to teach you. You just need to keep coming to these pondering spaces, the spirit will teach you everything you need to know. Stop going to "professionals" - they have nothing for you. The spirit is to be your teacher from now on." He was VERY specific in that counsel, I didn't even have a question about it, but he was very strong on that point.
He validating my desire for the healing arts and it is good for me to develop it. But he reminded me that HE IS THE ONLY SAVIOR. I can't try to "take" anything away with my visuals or energy. That is out of my stewardship. It is going to take some practice, and like I said, I am a baby in these processes.
But I'm on the path of understanding and getting it more in my soul, that is the important part.
The whole experience with Jesus was so immediate, so tender, so powerful, so personal, so tangible, so expanding, so illuminating, to enlightening, so learning. I crave to have it again. I want to have another experience like that over and over and over again. Today, I had such perspective with my kids because of it.
Another part of the counsel with Him is He helped me to look at my kids how He would look at them. He helped me to realize my flow, to understand that my feminine energy inside of my home and my kids and my life is something to embrace LIKE CRAZY. My shoulder (on my left side) has bothered me for a while. I had the thought the other day that it's because I have an imbalance with my femininity. I am in my masculine energy A LOT. I need to embrace my feminine side so much more and balance it out. AS I've done that, my shoulder has felt SO MUCH BETTER. My problem area is being healed, big time. Well, during this time with My Savior He reaffirmed that feeling and thought. So go into my feminine, nurturing, creating, flow.
More than anything - when it was time to be done with this session, I had a hard time saying good bye to Him. But it was so touching and tender because I WAS THE ONE today. He came when I needed it. He administered to me. He blessed me. He enlivened me.
I am to help heal, I am to testify. Right now I'm being expanded spiritually in a way that I haven't felt for a while. The last time I felt this was on my mission, it feels really good! But now I have life experiences behind me and understandings because of parenting and trials that cause my experiences spiritually to go to a deeper space than I've experienced before.
I wish I could describe what I'm feeling and experiencing properly. The words aren't adequate for the feelings involved. Same thing with Brent and what he's experiencing as well. I will keep doing my best with it and describing this process. The words will come as I practice to tell the stories.
I love you,
Your Mom
I've written a bit about the process your dad and I are going through right now. We are being stretched spiritually in a way that is completely transformative.
Something I've been contemplating A LOT lately is "How much of trials are our creation and how much of them are given from God?"
I believe we are more powerful that we could ever imagine with what we create in our lives. We don't give ourselves enough credit for the "God's and Goddess's" we are in our own lives and the natural consequences that happen from various ways of being, especially emotionally and spiritually. Especially with how things show up in our bodies - Disease is the body "not at ease".
This has been on my mind SO MUCH especially because of what Mimi has gone through with her health in the last two years, and with what Shayla is going through with cancer.
There was revealed more to Shayla's cancer story the other day, so much heart ache, growth and MAJOR rollercoaster they are on as a family right now. I have gone to God so many times asking Him, how much of what they are experiencing is created compared to given? I have wanted to know, not from a judgmental standpoint, but from a place of understanding. I want to understand if it has been created - why and how it was (especially for my own emotional codes I'm working on), and if it has been given - why and how as well.
It has been on my mind and heart SO MUCH. I did a meditation session a couple weeks ago, and I tried to dive into energetic healing. I am given the gift of healing in my patriarchal blessing, and I have been in a place spiritually where I want to try and work with that gift more. So I tried in my session to energetically try and help to heal what Shayla is going through.
I learned a lot from that session - first I learned that I am a BABY in the healing arts. I have SO MUCH TO LEARN. The next thing I learned is that I felt myself take some of what Shayla is going through emotionally and put it into my body. The spirit was very specific about warning me about doing that because that is NOT the proper stewardship for healing.
I had to do some energetic work to let that go - I had to do a couple sessions giving that back to Jesus because I had taken it into my body too much. But - still working on this understanding of creation compared to given.
When I found out more to her cancer story that was just heartbreaking - my heart felt so tender for her and what they are experiencing. My heart has been made more tender because of so many experiences Brent and I have been through - our trials haven't been the kind that is for the public to know about so it's a bit harder to describe - but nevertheless a result of going through our trials and hard things has been that my heart has been made more tender for people when they go through their own aches, sadness, stress, and hardships.
As my heart was feeling so tender for her, I knew I needed to have a spiritual experience and understandings given to me.
So this morning I woke up a bit early before everyone would come into the room, and I did a meditation session. After getting past breathing and settling my body, usually I go into the initiatory body scan. The last few times when I go into that body scan I will invite specific angels to come and administer to me. Today I said, "Who needs to come to me today?"
Not a split second passed and the Savior was there. I get emotional just thinking about it. He was right there with me, and the whole pondering session I did was with Him there next to me, counseling with me and my feelings.
Our Savior administers to the one. And today, I was the one.
I asked him about Shayla and my question of how much was given and how much was created. I have had the concern that if it is has been created - are God's hands tied because of the result of free agency? As I asked the Savior this He said, "Andrea - it is both. It's both creation and given. AND - the Atonement covers it all. Whether it was created or given, the Atonement covers every portion of it. Everything they are feeling, experiencing, going through, have on their plate, the Atonement I performed is there for all of it. It isn't important for you to know exactly how it was created within her body. What is important for you to know is that I am holding her through this, whether she created it or it was given. It is also so important that you don't dive into the healing processes until you have YOUR insides figured out first. And you have to have her permission to go into any kind of energy healing."
He counseled me on my feelings, the goodness of my heart, validation for the blessing I received from Brent the other day. Explaining to me that my feminine nature is about CREATION, Brent's masculine nature is about EXPANSION. That is the base for feminine and masculine. I create. He expands. Christ tried to show me "being carried away by the spirit" and I experienced it for a split second, but my body was fighting for me, didn't want me to leave it. And Christ just smiles and said, "It takes practice".
Because of what we've been experiencing with our meditations I have been hungry to learn about meditation. I have been listening to a lot of podcasts and classes about it. Which have been very informative and very validating. Part of the reason for listening is because I want to gain new skills to do with meditation. But every time I've listened to one, there hasn't been a lot new for me to learn about the process itself. I've learned a lot more about the 'science' of it and what happens in the brain. But the actual process and experience with meditation, there hasn't been a lot new.
Well, during this experience with Christ He counseled me very specifically, "Andrea, you don't need to be looking for outside help with understanding this process. If you want to find out more about the science of it and the brain and the body and how everything interacts, that is okay. But you don't need to be looking to anyone about if there is something more for you to learn. They have NOTHING to teach you. You just need to keep coming to these pondering spaces, the spirit will teach you everything you need to know. Stop going to "professionals" - they have nothing for you. The spirit is to be your teacher from now on." He was VERY specific in that counsel, I didn't even have a question about it, but he was very strong on that point.
He validating my desire for the healing arts and it is good for me to develop it. But he reminded me that HE IS THE ONLY SAVIOR. I can't try to "take" anything away with my visuals or energy. That is out of my stewardship. It is going to take some practice, and like I said, I am a baby in these processes.
But I'm on the path of understanding and getting it more in my soul, that is the important part.
The whole experience with Jesus was so immediate, so tender, so powerful, so personal, so tangible, so expanding, so illuminating, to enlightening, so learning. I crave to have it again. I want to have another experience like that over and over and over again. Today, I had such perspective with my kids because of it.
Another part of the counsel with Him is He helped me to look at my kids how He would look at them. He helped me to realize my flow, to understand that my feminine energy inside of my home and my kids and my life is something to embrace LIKE CRAZY. My shoulder (on my left side) has bothered me for a while. I had the thought the other day that it's because I have an imbalance with my femininity. I am in my masculine energy A LOT. I need to embrace my feminine side so much more and balance it out. AS I've done that, my shoulder has felt SO MUCH BETTER. My problem area is being healed, big time. Well, during this time with My Savior He reaffirmed that feeling and thought. So go into my feminine, nurturing, creating, flow.
More than anything - when it was time to be done with this session, I had a hard time saying good bye to Him. But it was so touching and tender because I WAS THE ONE today. He came when I needed it. He administered to me. He blessed me. He enlivened me.
I am to help heal, I am to testify. Right now I'm being expanded spiritually in a way that I haven't felt for a while. The last time I felt this was on my mission, it feels really good! But now I have life experiences behind me and understandings because of parenting and trials that cause my experiences spiritually to go to a deeper space than I've experienced before.
I wish I could describe what I'm feeling and experiencing properly. The words aren't adequate for the feelings involved. Same thing with Brent and what he's experiencing as well. I will keep doing my best with it and describing this process. The words will come as I practice to tell the stories.
I love you,
Your Mom
Tuesday, February 4, 2020
Blessing For Mom Feb. 2020 - My Calling As A Mother
Dear Kids,
I needed another blessing last night to remind me of my focus. I wanted to write it down for you to read in your future....
Andrea Jeanne Palmer, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood which I hold, I lay my hands on your head to give you a blessing at your request.
Andrea, at this time I remind you that the words that you hear from this blessing are directly from your Heavenly Father. Above all He would have me remind you that you are a beloved daughter, that He is aware of you. He LOVES you, with a perfect love and understands you perfectly. He is your biggest cheerleader. He is grateful to you for the stewardship that you shoulder in your family and throughout your circle of influence.
Andrea, you have such a unique calling as the mother of these four children. As you know they are each dynamic in their own way. And they pose great challenges as they discover each day all of who they are and their place in this world and their place in the eternities. You are to be their guide. Always remembering that they have a Mother and Father in Heaven to whom YOU can look for guidance.
I bless you as their teacher to be at peace and remember that the most important thing you can teach them in this life is to understand the love their Heavenly Father has for them and that they indeed have a Savior on whom they can rely. Do not take lightly the responsibility of teaching them to rely on the Holy Ghost as their guide as it will be THE ONLY PATH for them to be able to endure to the end of this life, unscathed from the evils and treacheries of this world.
their secular education is important. It is vital that they learn the basic things of this life, both in reading, writing, arithmetic and finance and music and history. But all these subjects are important ONLY if they have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I bless you with clarity of mind as you work with each one of them individually and are in need of understanding and guidance. It will flow to you and all the more as you heed the warnings and the instructions that you receive.
I bless you to know that you needn't worry about the direction or the medium through which financial success will come to your family. This is Brent's responsibility and HE WILL BE GUIDED. You will play a very important role as businesses begin to unfold and relationships are acquired and nurtured and you will know the balance and stewardships that are necessary when those times come.
Trust in the Lord's timing and all that you have envisioned will come to pass.
I bless you to continue to reach out to those that surround you to teach them. You have been given SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE and it is VITAL that you SHARE IT. And I admonish you and remind you to NOT run faster than you have strength and you will know where those boundaries need to be set. Always remember to put your family first. Above all else, that is the accounting that you will have to give at the judgement bar of God.
I bless you to be aware of the presence of ANGELS assisting you in your work and at times you will see them and interact with them so that they may more effectively teach you all the wisdom they have gained.
I leave this blessing with you in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.
Andrea Jeanne Palmer, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood which I hold, I lay my hands on your head to give you a blessing at your request.
Andrea, at this time I remind you that the words that you hear from this blessing are directly from your Heavenly Father. Above all He would have me remind you that you are a beloved daughter, that He is aware of you. He LOVES you, with a perfect love and understands you perfectly. He is your biggest cheerleader. He is grateful to you for the stewardship that you shoulder in your family and throughout your circle of influence.
Andrea, you have such a unique calling as the mother of these four children. As you know they are each dynamic in their own way. And they pose great challenges as they discover each day all of who they are and their place in this world and their place in the eternities. You are to be their guide. Always remembering that they have a Mother and Father in Heaven to whom YOU can look for guidance.
I bless you as their teacher to be at peace and remember that the most important thing you can teach them in this life is to understand the love their Heavenly Father has for them and that they indeed have a Savior on whom they can rely. Do not take lightly the responsibility of teaching them to rely on the Holy Ghost as their guide as it will be THE ONLY PATH for them to be able to endure to the end of this life, unscathed from the evils and treacheries of this world.
their secular education is important. It is vital that they learn the basic things of this life, both in reading, writing, arithmetic and finance and music and history. But all these subjects are important ONLY if they have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I bless you with clarity of mind as you work with each one of them individually and are in need of understanding and guidance. It will flow to you and all the more as you heed the warnings and the instructions that you receive.
I bless you to know that you needn't worry about the direction or the medium through which financial success will come to your family. This is Brent's responsibility and HE WILL BE GUIDED. You will play a very important role as businesses begin to unfold and relationships are acquired and nurtured and you will know the balance and stewardships that are necessary when those times come.
Trust in the Lord's timing and all that you have envisioned will come to pass.
I bless you to continue to reach out to those that surround you to teach them. You have been given SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE and it is VITAL that you SHARE IT. And I admonish you and remind you to NOT run faster than you have strength and you will know where those boundaries need to be set. Always remember to put your family first. Above all else, that is the accounting that you will have to give at the judgement bar of God.
I bless you to be aware of the presence of ANGELS assisting you in your work and at times you will see them and interact with them so that they may more effectively teach you all the wisdom they have gained.
I leave this blessing with you in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.
Blessing With Promises For Each Child (From Jan. 2019)
Dear Kids,
I felt a call to type down the blessings that I have recorded that I have received in the last couple of years. Most of them are about YOU. YOU - every single one of you. There is one that describes all of you so well.
This blessing is from January 2019:
Andrea Jeanne Palmer, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood that I hold, and at your request, I lay my hands on your head to give you a blessing.
Acting as the mouthpiece of the Lord, I say unto you that HE LOVES YOU! He is your GREATEST cheerleader and as He watches over the efforts you're making and the progress you're making in this life with your children and your family, He is grateful for your diligence and for your desire to better yourself everyday.
Andre, this life is not meant for perfection. And expecting it of yourself is wrong and will lead you in the path of destruction. It is a tool of the adversary to make us believe that we are to be perfect. I bless you with peace in your heart and in your mind and the understanding, that when you are acting by the spirit in your life, you are doing all that you can and all that is expected of you. And you will always fall short of perfection. But when you do there is ONE who is always perfect who makes up the difference.
I bless you to know that you are enough. Especially in the eyes of your children, you are more than they could dream of as a guide and a mentor in this life. I promise you that throughout their lives they will bless your name for the work and the sacrifice that you made on their behalf. Andrea it is NO small task to take on the mentoring, schooling and parenting and housekeeping of your family. I bless you, once again as I have done in the past, with added strength to shoulder these burdens faithfully, adequately.
I bless you with the gift of wisdom. As you seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost in relation to rearing and training and educating your children, that gift of wisdom will enlighten and bring all things to your understanding that you need to be the instructor and be the guide that is needed in each moment.
I bless you to recognize in Gabriel the innate wisdom that he possesses. I bless you to recognize the man he is becoming and the opportunities to guide him into the experiences that he will need to shape his character and to the testimony that he will develop.
I bless you to see in Talia the goodness, the kindness and the joy for life that she so inherently carries with her. She has the gift to bring light into this dark world. She will largely learn how to do that through your example.
Andrea, Elijah is a lion. His power rages inside of him, he does not understand it. I bless you to be patient with him as he grows and matures and learn to recognize who he is and what he is capable of. It is not the say that you are to not set boundaries for him, because he needs them. I bless you with the ability to see with the eye of faith WHO he will become and that although he is a challenge now, he will be a strength to millions throughout his life... In large part because of how you mentor him.
I bless you with the capacity to always set aside the time Joshua needs to simply be loved. He has such a calm way and the joy of his youth is not lost in your home and in your arms. Simply be there for him and he looks for your approval and for your smiles and for your hugs and kisses.
Andrea, I again affirm to you that the path you are is that which the Lord desires. He would not have your children be under any other influence at this time but yours. And if all you accomplish each day is the bearing of a fervent testimony of their Savior and their Father, it is enough.
I bless your home, through you that it will be filled with the spirit for all who enter here in, and all will be touched by it's power. I bless you in your interactions with your siblings, with your closest friends to be a light unto them. Open your mouth and bear testimony to them of these glorious times in which the Spirit of the Lord is being poured out in abundance on his righteous children. You are one of his choices daughters and he loves you.
I leave this blessing with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I felt a call to type down the blessings that I have recorded that I have received in the last couple of years. Most of them are about YOU. YOU - every single one of you. There is one that describes all of you so well.
This blessing is from January 2019:
Andrea Jeanne Palmer, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood that I hold, and at your request, I lay my hands on your head to give you a blessing.
Acting as the mouthpiece of the Lord, I say unto you that HE LOVES YOU! He is your GREATEST cheerleader and as He watches over the efforts you're making and the progress you're making in this life with your children and your family, He is grateful for your diligence and for your desire to better yourself everyday.
Andre, this life is not meant for perfection. And expecting it of yourself is wrong and will lead you in the path of destruction. It is a tool of the adversary to make us believe that we are to be perfect. I bless you with peace in your heart and in your mind and the understanding, that when you are acting by the spirit in your life, you are doing all that you can and all that is expected of you. And you will always fall short of perfection. But when you do there is ONE who is always perfect who makes up the difference.
I bless you to know that you are enough. Especially in the eyes of your children, you are more than they could dream of as a guide and a mentor in this life. I promise you that throughout their lives they will bless your name for the work and the sacrifice that you made on their behalf. Andrea it is NO small task to take on the mentoring, schooling and parenting and housekeeping of your family. I bless you, once again as I have done in the past, with added strength to shoulder these burdens faithfully, adequately.
I bless you with the gift of wisdom. As you seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost in relation to rearing and training and educating your children, that gift of wisdom will enlighten and bring all things to your understanding that you need to be the instructor and be the guide that is needed in each moment.
I bless you to recognize in Gabriel the innate wisdom that he possesses. I bless you to recognize the man he is becoming and the opportunities to guide him into the experiences that he will need to shape his character and to the testimony that he will develop.
I bless you to see in Talia the goodness, the kindness and the joy for life that she so inherently carries with her. She has the gift to bring light into this dark world. She will largely learn how to do that through your example.
Andrea, Elijah is a lion. His power rages inside of him, he does not understand it. I bless you to be patient with him as he grows and matures and learn to recognize who he is and what he is capable of. It is not the say that you are to not set boundaries for him, because he needs them. I bless you with the ability to see with the eye of faith WHO he will become and that although he is a challenge now, he will be a strength to millions throughout his life... In large part because of how you mentor him.
I bless you with the capacity to always set aside the time Joshua needs to simply be loved. He has such a calm way and the joy of his youth is not lost in your home and in your arms. Simply be there for him and he looks for your approval and for your smiles and for your hugs and kisses.
Andrea, I again affirm to you that the path you are is that which the Lord desires. He would not have your children be under any other influence at this time but yours. And if all you accomplish each day is the bearing of a fervent testimony of their Savior and their Father, it is enough.
I bless your home, through you that it will be filled with the spirit for all who enter here in, and all will be touched by it's power. I bless you in your interactions with your siblings, with your closest friends to be a light unto them. Open your mouth and bear testimony to them of these glorious times in which the Spirit of the Lord is being poured out in abundance on his righteous children. You are one of his choices daughters and he loves you.
I leave this blessing with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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