People Waking Up

 Dear Kids, 

The world is crazy right now. There is so much happening!

Covid-19

Pysochological and Social Warfare 

Meteor Landing in New Mexico - 7500 acres burned

Riots in the Cities

Political Assault unlike ANYTHING I've Ever Seen!

I could go on and on and on and on and on about it all. 

But what is amazing is I am first hand seeing how the Lord is working on so many people right now. Brent and I in the last week have been invited to participate in FOUR different meetings of people who are feeling "the call" to move for something more, something different, more ZION. The phrase that is being used the most is people "being awake". 

Many people are "waking up" just in the last few months since Covid-19 hit. I really believe that the virus has been a HUGE tender mercy of God to get us awake and ready for things to come. Many people are bemoaning it, but I look at it as a huge blessing in this way!

I have had a lot of realizations and understandings in the last little while. I wrote previously about being attacked by Satan SO MUCH, in a way that I hadn't experienced before. I'm so grateful to have that behind me - but in reality I know it was just to start to fine tune me for what else is going to be coming our way. It's going to get bad. How bad, I don't know - but I know it is going to be really hard. 

About eight years ago the Lord gave Brent a HUGE impression of a preparedness property, he could see it in his mind and he received very specific direction about this property. Ever since then we've been wanting that and wanting to invite it into our lives and into our stewardships. 

Well, now time has passed and we've dreamed of it and wanted it, but it hasn't happened. We haven't been given a stewardship big enough to start on that dream of ours. Just this last Sunday Brent and I were talking about everything coming down the pike - everything with government control that is going to be happening and all the things. I started getting REALLY emotional. It put me into a tail spin for the entire day - full of sadness and sorrow that for whatever reason we weren't given that stewardship in order to follow through on that impression that Brent received so specifically. 

I cried and cried. I felt so heavy with sorrow just saying, "I'm sorry Father, for whatever we did that caused it so we couldn't be trusted with that stewardship. I'm so sorry! Now here we are looking at this freight train coming at us and we aren't in the position to help more people! I'm so sorry."

It REALLY affected me. I didn't feel like I wanted to go into vain regret - but I did feel so sad. Sad. Godly sorrow really for not following through and for whatever we did that blocked it from coming to us. 

More than anything as I was feeling that sorrow I just said to the Lord, "I don't want to miss out on any other impressions! I don't want to have regret like this about other impressions that we give to us! Please keep purifying us! Please keep helping us!". 

I cried to Brent about it for a while Sunday night, feeling so sad. I know the Lord doesn't want me to go into darkness and stay there, but I had to repent. I asked the Lord to forgive me, forgive Brent and forgive us for our humanity and weakness. And I want to keep pleading for Him, that with whatever time and resources we have left, that we can help people. That we could possibly "still be counted worthy."

Time will tell as far as what responsibility could be put on our shoulders and what we are ready for, but I know I want to go before the Lord ready to do His will. 

that is the whole reason that I started homeschooling is because it was HIS WILL. I know that. I know that I have followed through on that impression, and even though I haven't done it 'perfectly', I know I have obeyed. 

So our next project is the podcasts. We must obey the voice of the spirit with the podcasts. That is the next step. and I can focus on that today. I have to realize what I can do TODAY. Then wrap my head around that. 

I love you kids. Please, hold onto the gospel. I don't know what the future holds. But hold on. Please. 

Your Mom