The Repeating Trap

Dear Gabriel,

Today has been a very powerful reminder to me about this principle:

You train people how to treat you.

Your methodical and detail oriented personality conflicts with mine sometimes. I want to 'get it done' where you want to take your time and make sure every detail is taken care of. Because of this dynamic I have caught myself in the 'repeating' trap... otherwise known as NAGGING!

I ask you 5-6 times to put your shoes on, close the door, finish your sandwich, pick up your toys... I repeat instructions to you over and over and over and over and over again. But here is the thing:

I AM TRAINING YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO ME BY REPEATING AND NAGGING.

This is a trap I think many mothers and women get into, and it is very dangerous. I think it can lead to resentment and just 'being bugged by mom' feelings. I don't want you to feel that way about me, I want you to love to listen to me and want to talk to me, not the other way aroung. But if I continue this trend as you get older, it is going to cause a dynamic which will shut you down from even expressing yourself to me because you won't feel safe.

The whole reason I repeat things over and over again is because I want you to 'get it done now'. Most of the time you ARE doing what I asked you to do, you are just doing it in your own way and in your own time. 

I promise I will keep working on it and improve from my end. Some days (like today) are harder than others. But luckily you also forgive very quickly and love me anyways.

I love you,

Your Mom