So we went out of town this weekend to a family member's wedding. While we were traveling there were several times when I realized that my kids looked really crazy, and not just my kids, but me too! You know... crazy hair, crazy clothes, dirty faces, stains on clothing, obviously funny hygiene from traveling. But the thing that really got me is that when I noticed it... I really DIDN'T CARE.
Ha! I have become "That Mom".
I remember looking at "That Mom" some time ago before I knew any better. I remember seeing kids with faces that were dirty, clothes with stains that had been there all day, mix-matched outfits, unkempt hair... or a mom with a crazy bun on the top of her head with various colors of who-knows-what on her clothing and a pair of mix-matched socks...and I swore I would never be "That Mom".
You see, I assumed that being "That Mom" meant that she was lazy. I assumed that being "That Mom" meant that she just didn't care about teaching her children about personal hygiene. I assumed that being "That Mom" meant that she was part of a lower class of people somehow.
Man. I had no idea.
My assumptions about "That Mom" have changed a lot over the years. I now understand "That Mom" a bit more. I understand that the messy hair means that you have spent the last 72 hours traveling, getting kids ready from a suitcase, getting kids tucked into strange beds, helping them get a long as much as possible so you don't disturb the people you are staying with, trying to find the outfit you packed but then have to make do because you realize that you forgot half of it on the table at home.
I now understand "That Mom" is someone who is trying to recover from a hard year, from many emotional up's and down's, who is focusing so much on the inside that sometimes the outside might seem a little bit out of order. I understand the chocolate-covered faces are just barely covering up a child's smile...a smile that is so happy about a treat that you just want to leave the mess on the cute face a little bit longer. I understand that the personal hygiene of a 6 year old takes years and years and years to engrain (how many times do you have to remind him to wash his hands? ... oh yeah... like every. single. time. he. goes. to. the. bathroom. for. three. years. now.)
I understand that when a child has only one sock on, but has two shoes on (and you are at a party and you notice it because he is rolling around on the ground) it's perhaps the two year old child is figuring out how to put his shoes and socks on and off again... and in the mean time has thrown one of the socks in the garbage, which you were unaware of. (And "That Mom" just smiles when you overhear someone whispering, "that baby only has one sock on".)
I totally get it when "That Mom" has a bunch of crazy hair herself, no make up, and goes to a friends house and sits like a log (when normally she is really engaged in the conversation). It's because she is really tired and didn't realize it. It took actually sitting down on a comfortable couch, which immediately sucked her up and she had no idea how to get out of it's amazing and comfortable clutches and her brain had become mush in the 1.5 seconds it took to sit.
I have become "That Mom".
So take heart. Even though I have become "That Mom", it has also taught me so many more great things along the way. The greatest part is, I am TOTALLY HAPPY about being THAT MOM. The patience, the perspective, the laughter, the understanding of "life in the midst of the storm"...
I love you,
Your Mom
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