I Will Always Want You

Dear Natalia,

You brought your 'sugar and spice' to my life almost 6 months ago. I can't believe it! How did 6 months go by already? I am sure that I am going to ask myself that question many times throughout your life with me :-).

What I want to tell you today is a story about you.

When I found out that I was pregnant again, it completely shocked me. We were not in the position to have another baby and our 'plans' for having another baby weren't for another year at least. Needless to say, I was completely overwhelmed, and I had the feelings of "How are we going to do this?".

Well, about 4 months into my pregnancy with you I had the most amazing experience. I was standing in the shower one day, just thinking again about why we got pregnant NOW. Then, you were there. You were very sad... you said to me, "Mom, you were so excited for Gabe... why aren't you excited for me?". You let me taste a little bit of your celestial feelings, that you were just as excited to come here, to this earth, to our family, to ME.

Then you left....But I hadn't shown the same to you.

I started to sob. I felt TERRIBLE. I can still feel that sinking in my heart having that experience. I made up my mind that I was going to be just has happy for you as I was for Gabe...

Now you are here. Our Father in Heaven did not want to let you go. When I had a blessing before you were born, I was told that He was going to miss you terribly and that He was literally giving you to me from His arms, almost ripping you from Him because of how much He loves you. You have an extreme relationship with Him, and I know we are going to be blown away by your spirit the more you show.

You are our 'sugar and spice'. And always remember that I want you. I am so excited you are here. When you were placed on my chest for the first time I just cried... I was elated and ecstatic. I always want you... just as much as I wanted Gabe.

I love you,

Your Mom

(Fall 2010)