Half Way Around The World For Perspective

Dear Kids,

Sometimes it takes getting half way around the world to realize that everything I am doing everyday with you is exactly where I want to be.

Going on this trip to Italy with your dad was a balm to my soul. I needed the time with him, and the rejuvenation of travel and perspective.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people there are in the world and that Father knows EACH and every one of them. Every single one. He ministers to them ONE BY ONE. He has intimate understand of everything in their lives. It is AMAZING to me.

It opens my mind and opens my perspective. It opens my heart to how many people there are in the world to love and to teach the gospel.

But more than anything, it reminded me of how much I love being with you when I am home. My place is with you, teaching you, loving you, helping you, mentoring you. Being your mother is my greatest gift. Even though sometimes it seems like I am stressed out about it, I hope that you forgive my humanity.

Talia once told me, "Mom, I don't want to be a mom, because sometimes I feel like you are sad when you are a mom, being a mom is really hard work!"

I was really heart broken to hear this response. Do my children really feel like I don't want to be with them? When I sit back and look at days when I allow frustration to take over, when I "do" an anger, then YES, I can understand why they would feel this way.

It is foolish to fool yourself into thinking you can be the "perfect" mom everyday. It just isn't possible. It is also okay for them to realize that sometimes it is really hard work to be a homeschooling mom, everyday. However, I hope that my periods of joy with them can keep increasing as I exercise these motherhood muscles.

Being away reaffirmed me that MY MOTHERHOOD IS MY GREATEST BLESSING. Several times on the trip the Lord gave me the 10,000 foot view of my family and my children. When this whole motherhood thing is all about. It is powerful. It is so needed. I believe in the power of motherhood. It is simply really easy to get lost in the weeds of everyday life.

Taking these moments to have perspective are powerful and absolutely necessary. I'm so grateful I was able to go half way around the world in order to remember what I have always at my fingertips. Children who love me, who only want to be with ME. They won't always feel that way. So I soak it up for what it's worth now. I give my mind and heart to the Lord to ask for spiritual perspective always.

I love you,

Your Mom